A/N: This just came into my mind last night, and I haven't been able to shake it. Let me know what you think of it….
Warning: Deals with the death of a character.
Ever since I was a little girl, I haven't been fond of fairy tale stories, or love stories. I don't like unfinished tales and I never really believed in "Happily Ever After". I wasn't even sure that love truly existed, not in the romantic novels type of love, not how they describe it. I always hoped to find someone I could be comfortable with, someone who made me feel at least a little bit of what is exposed in those novels; settle down, have a family, read fairy tales to my kids hoping they would believe in them the way I couldn't.
I used to sit at the dinner table with my mom and my dad watching them and wondering if they ever loved each other, if they ever believed in love. I would try to imagine them being younger and happy, sharing smiles and all the things people in love are supposed to do, but I couldn't. I could only imagine them as they were now, neither happy nor unhappy, just, settled, calmed, smiling to each other every now and then, being polite to each other and I figured, if love wasn't real then what they had was all I needed to get.
I had already made my mind about it and was finally content with that thought when, suddenly, it all changed. He changed, she changed, they drove my sister away and they pushed me into building a fortress around myself, driving me even deeper in my thoughts of love just being an illusion made up by people who needed to believe it existed. But I didn't, I knew it wasn't real and I knew I wouldn't need it in my life. I had been fine without it, and would continue to be fine for the rest of my days.
As the years went by, I continued to dig myself deeper and deeper into my emotionless fortress, I continued to build my walls taller and thicker. I found myself a guy who I though fit the standards I had made for myself on my childhood years. Highschool was the place people usually found "love" and I was set to find something like it there, and he was more than willing to play the part. He said he loved me, and I smiled back not believing in his words because I didn't believe in it myself.
My father approved of him, my mother thought I could do better but never failed to smile when he was around, and I didn't feel much with him, but I felt much more that without him so I decided he would be the one. And once again, just when I thought everything was settled my world turned upside down again, I let the worse of me take over and I got pregnant. My world was ending, I couldn't be any lower than I was, I was homeless, loveless, lonely. I couldn't be any more hopeless.
I closed off even more. Happiness was only meant for books, love was only meant for books, smiles and holding hands and sweet words whispered in lovers ears where just meant for people who would allow themselves to believe. But I was not going to allow myself that, I knew better.
I had given up an all of that, when it hit me. It hit me like a train at full speed, it hit me like a power hose shot directly at me, it hit me like one would hit the ground after jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. I was sitting by myself outside the choir room after it was revealed I was pregnant with another guy's child. I was sitting alone listening to a small ringing in my ears, trying to feel my heartbeat, I was sitting alone with nothing but silence surrounding me when I hear her. I heard the small whisper of the voice that would later save me from my own hopelessness.
"I'm sorry"
I heard it and I felt something, so I looked up and found a pair of brown eyes looking right at me, and in that moment I saw something in them, something that looked like life, something that looked like reality and safety. I stared at those eyes while they looked right into my soul.
"I'm sorry"
Was whispered once again and I could feel my heart beating for the first time in years. It was overwhelming and I didn't know what to say, but I couldn't move. She sat next to me and I felt her hand in mine. I could almost see as a little part of her life transferred into me.
"I want to be alone right now"
That was all I could say, and it was a lie, I didn't want to be alone anymore, but how could I tell her that? How was I supposed to know she was going to be the one that would make me believe in what I had never been able to? How was I supposed to know that she would be the one that would make me love?
But she was, and she did. For many years after that, and until this very day I still love for her. even if she is not here anymore, I still feel because of her, and I still feel only for her.
Some love stories begin with a look and end with a kiss.
Some begin with "Hello" and end in "Happy Ever After".
But not mine, mine begins with "I'm Sorry" and ends with "Forever". I will be forever hers, as she will be mine forever too.
Sometimes, when love is lost, when love is ripped from you so quickly you need to be reminded of what that love gave you instead of what you lost in order to breathe again. And this is what I am doing now, I need to remember what she gave me, instead of what was taken from me.
My name is Quinn Fabray-Berry, and this is the story of how I was saved by an angel, a singing angel who filled my life with music and love until the very end.
A/N: What do you think?
Second chapter will be posted later today.