Title: Forever and Always T'hy'la

Pairing: Kirk/Spock plus a little mention of Kirk/Other

Rating: Mature Audiences

A/N: I seem to get song fics done quickly. Okay now on to the legal stuff and warnings. I do not own Star Trek in any way shape or form. So the characters belong to their respective parties. This is an AU and can be set in any universe the ready wishes. I also do not own the song I knew I loved you before I met you that belongs to Savage Garden. The only real warning is you might need tissues, also I would recommend listening to the song while reading. Oh and the only thing I do own is the mistakes, thank-you and hope you enjoy.

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

Spock would say that he hated diplomatic dinners that he attended with his parents, but hate was an emotion and a most illogical one at that. But was here with his parents, at Starfleet, eating a human dish called eggplant parmesan, of course it was a vegetarian dish and most pleasing to the pallet. He had just turned seven a few weeks prior and his father was looking for another Vulcan to bond with him, something that was not so pleasing to him.

Spock thought he was the only child here until he spotted a younger child sitting a few seats away. The boy had blond hair and was very small and thin. The child was surprising quiet for a human child; other human children he had met were loud, filled with energy, and with most males somewhat wild. But this boy was quiet but Spock observed that even though the boy seemed to be just sitting there eating, he was watching the adults around him and listening to their conversations with understanding in his wide eyes.

Then the boy turned his gaze upon Spock and Spock felt a warm feeling spread throughout his body, much like the feeling when his mother "tucked" him in under warm covers when he was sick. The younger boy gave him a small shy smile before his eyes darted away and then looked back at Spock. The older blond woman sitting beside him touched his arm and the boy focused on his meal before him, but quickly looked back at Spock with that same shy small. Spock felt his lips twitch as he returned the smile.

"Spock did you not hear my question?" His father asked and Spock quickly turned to his father.

"Forgive me father I was pondering an equation from yesterday's lesson," Spock said and his father nodded. That had been the first time he lied but for some reason it did not bother him as much as he thought it would.

The dinner had been the final event for that evening but his father was talking to an Admiral from Starfleet as they waited for their air car. His mother was standing next to his father, she trusted him to stand alone and look at the stars. He was so focused that he did not hear the humans come up to stand next to him until he heard a small soft voice say,

"Hi I think your ears are cool," Spock turned and the boy from early stood next to him. The older blond woman, Spock predicted with a 98.7% certainly that the woman was the boy's mother, stood in a Starfleet dress uniform talking to another Starfleet officer and he was surprised that a mother would leave such a young child without supervision. "You're a Vulcan right?"

"Yes I am," Spock was surprised on how well this young human spoke, he appear to be about five years of age. "May I acquire how do you know this information?" Spock realized that the boy may not understand his question and was prepare to rephrase it but the boy quickly answered him,

"I like to read lots. So my mommy buys me books for my PADD and she bought me some on other races when I asked her to. I think Vulcan's have cool ears," The boy quickly looked away before looking back at Spock with that same shy smile and a bright red blush to his cheeks. Before Spock could respond the blond woman called to the boy,

"The air car is here," The woman did bother to come up to retrieve the boy. The boy smiled once more at Spock,

"Bye Bye," He said and turned to leave. Something came over Spock, possessed him even, but he did not want the boy to go. He quickly reached out and grabbed the boy's wrist. The boy turned around eyes wide but then gave him a bright smile,

"Don't worry I will see you again, I am Jimmy," Jimmy slide his hand away from Spock and their fingers brushed causing electric sparks to pass between them. Then the Jimmy ran toward the blond woman and Spock's mother called him to leave.

When his parents tried to bond him to a young Vulcan girl, T'Pring, they were surprised to find out their son was bonded to another. Spock was not surprised but he believed that both of his parents were pleased when he told them about Jimmy and the connection that they had.

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

Jim Kirk dated women, men, and aliens that did not fall into a gender category but he had never been in love. He thought that he was in love from time to time but his partners reminded him that was not the case. But he had dreams of love, happiness, appetence, and such joy and about a young Vulcan boy that he knew that he had met, even though he mother told him that he had never met a Vulcan.

Jim was a genius and hid it well, with a sexy smile and playful eyes. He had learned quickly when he first started school that kids made fun of the "smart" kids. School had been boring to him and that led him to get in trouble. Like the argument with Mr. Keaston, just because man could not do complex equations in his head did not mean that Jim could not.

So Jim was labeled a trouble maker and dreamer. Jim knew he was a dreamer and he love it. He dreamed of big cities, starships, the wide openness of space, of alien worlds and alien peoples, but most of all a Vulcan boy who touch his hand and made his soul come alive.

At night he would lie under the vast sky of stars and he would look for 40 Eridani A, Vulcan's star. He would lie there and dream of a Vulcan boy with soulful brown eyes, now a young man taller and stronger than. A slender man with pale skin slightly tinted green and cooler to the touch. He dreamed of his long finger and large hands as well as soft lips and sleek black hair. But most of all he dreamed of gracefully pointed ears that were just plain awesome. He thought if he just dreamed hard enough this person would just appear and save him from this loneliness and he would dream and dream for as long as it took.

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home

Spock had defied his father, left Vulcan and his beloved mother, and joined Starfleet. He was now starting his last year as a cadet, was a teaching assistant for an advance physics professor and was at the top of his class. He was suspected or rather professors hinted he would be made a lieutenant after graduation.

He would contact his mother at least once a week, and they both knew that his father knew this fact but chose to ignore it. Spock thought perhaps there may be hope for their relationship after all. He told her off all things of his life on Earth, all but his relationships. There had been some relationships a few women, but mostly men, but there was no completion in those relationships only missing pieces.

As his year went on, and the chess club was disappointed that he did not join this year but there was a young first year cadet from the mid-west Iowa he believe that really swept the club, he started more and more experiences and set a time, the Spring semester, to start his practical experience on a starship. A week before he was set to ship out on the USS Excelsior something amazing happened something that, even Spock, could logically predict.

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

Jim was having a bad day, hell; he was having a bad ending to his first year at Starfleet. He was really a second year cadet, since he tested out of many classes. The problem was that a senior cadet, turned boyfriend, Gary Mitchell could not stop cheating on him. He truly thought he found love with Gary, a handsome strong man with dark hair and eyes, but no pointed ears. Gary was romantic and treated Jim great, when he wasn't drinking or out with friends. Secretly Jim really loved having someone take care of him, love having a romantic partner and he thought that meant he was in love and that Gary was in love with him.

But then he found out about the other men and women. Gary had told him that they were just about sex that he love Jim but he had a problem with sex. Jim committed himself to make sure that his boyfriend got a lot of sex. He jumped Gary in hallways and dragged him into storage closets or the men's room for blow jobs. He would sneak to Gary's strip down and prep himself and lay naked on the bed usually with a toy waiting for Gary to come home. Every time Jim would do one of these things Gary would tell Jim how much he loved him. But Gary never did in public, never a kiss, or a hug, or a touch or even a loving smile. So Jim had told Gary that they were done and Gary just laughed in his face,

"Okay babe, whatever you say. See you tonight," He was still chucking as he walked off. Jim was mad, really mad so mad that he did not know he had walked into someone, at first he thought he walked into a wall, until he had landed flat on his ass. He was about to let out a string of curses, until he looked up straight into warm brown eyes attached to a head with smooth black hair and awesome pointed ears.

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
(and the who's here)

Spock was on his way to his next class when someone bumped into him. He looked at the wheat colored head and was about to issue the younger cadet a reprimand, he could do that since he was a TA, until bright eyes locked with his and the younger man ran his fingers through his hair and gave him shy smile his face turning bright red. 'It cannot be, Jimmy?' Spock had never had forgot the small boy that he met so long ago, he dreamed of him every night. Dreamed that he was his T'hy'la, one that he been connected to since the beginning of time. The young man tilted his head leapt up quickly but did not apologize; instead he gave Spock a dazzling smile.

"The boy with the awesome ears," Jim said quietly but Spock heard it loud and clear. This young man remember even after all these year, he had been so young Spock assumed that he would have forgotten.

"See I told you we meet again," Jim said hoping the other remembered their meeting so long ago.

"So you did," Spock said as he raised an eyebrow. But fate was not on their side, Spock was shipped out early and when he did return Jim, no longer Jimmy, had graduated early and was assigned to a ship. Jim would later teach a couple of courses at the academy but the boy with the pointed ears, now know as Spock, had been on a ship.

A thousand angels dance around you
(and the who's here)
I am complete now that I've found you
(and the who's here)

He was now the captain of Starfleet vessel, not just any ship but the Enterprise the flagship with the best personnel that Starfleet had to offer. He had always dreamed of space of being a starship captain, but now he was the captain of the Enterprise he still couldn't wrap his head around that idea. But there was something even better than being a starship captain it was his first officer, Spock, the Vulcan he dreamed of as a child, the one being that seemed to look into his soul, the one person who terrified him the most.

Gary Mitchell had damaged Jim badly, there had been so much abuse so many things that he had done for that man. So many things that tainted his soul so many memories that he could not share with Spock. Spock was pure, was light and Jim knew that he loved Spock and that Spock deserved so much more. Perhaps he knew it all along that he could never be good enough for Spock. He was still just a silly little boy, from a small town in Iowa, that was in love with love but did not know what true love was and he was damaged goods.

Spock could not believe he would be serving with the man whom as a boy he had formed a bond with, Jim was his captain. But, he had not spent much time with his captain. It was always a,

"Good morning Mr. Spock," or "Everything is well I assume Mr. Spock" Spock could not understand, they had been closer the first time they met and the second time they met. So invited his captain to play chess, and time pass slowly and soon it was no longer "Captain" and "Mr. Spock" but rather "Jim" and "Spock". Jim and Spock became friends, best friends; they not only played chess but also took meals together, joined most of the time by Dr. McCoy. Spock did not even admit to himself that he found the banter between himself and the doctor quite pleasing and it always made Jim laughed.

Spock loved everything about Jim but his laugh was illogically his favorite thing about him. That was the problem about Jim he made him feel, made him feel so many different emotions; love, joy, frustration, worry, and some biological responses that was difficult for him to experience before. There was so many reasons why that this progressing relationship with Jim should end, his Vulcan side turned it away but also embraced it because the word T'hy'la kept repeating in his head.

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
(and the who's here)

Everything changed on a small unknown planet. Jim was dying, dying in his arms and there was nothing he could do about it. They could not contact the Enterprise and they had been separated from the rest of the away team with those large what Jim describe as,

"Fucking giant pig dogs," They ran from the creatures, there had to be at least twenty of them, Spock and Jim had been taking them out until one seemed to appear out of nowhere because the grass wasn't that tall and attacked Jim ripping open his stomach with its long curved claws. Spock had reacted too late but managed to kill the creature. Now he was holding a dying Jim in his arms and it was all his fault. He should have scanned the surface more carefully, should have realize that the planet had dangerous animals. He had killed Jim, extinguished this bright light this bright star, he had murdered his T'hy'la.

"Spock don't…." Jim took his hand in his, "Not your… not your f-fault," Jim was rubbing small comforting circles with his thumb on Spock's hand. Then Spock knew he could feel Jim's emotions feel all of them. Jim had remembered and dream of him all of his life. Jim had love still loved him, desired him in every way, trusted him like no other being in his life. Spock embraced this love and devotion coming from his Jim, his T'hy'la. Then Spock felt different emotions from Jim shame about his past, intense loneness, and Jim felt that he could never be worthy of Spock's love. Jim felt that he was too smart, too wonderful, so far beyond the man that he believed that Spock could never love him.

Spock could not believe how much time they wasted thinking that they could never be what the other needed. Spock blamed himself because he knew since they first met as children, before they had truly met when their bonded with a simple touch that they were everything to each other that their very souls had bonded. Jim began to cough up blood and tighten his grip on Spock's hand.

"Jim you cannot go," Spock said, "My T'hy'la I cannot lose you. We were already cheated of so many years. We have a five year mission to complete, you must live if not for me but for your crew." Spock felt tears gather in his eyes, this time he could not begrudge his human biology, not now not with Jim.

"Oh Spock if I could stay," Jim said softy blood on his lips after another coughing fit, "It would be for you, just for you. Thank-you so much Spock, how much you taught me. Taught me that love, such a wonderful but simple feeling, was real and wonderful and forever Spock I could give up everything in this universe, everything but you." Spock remembered screaming in agony as he felt his T'hy'la slip from this existence. He hope, prayed to old Vulcan Gods, that Jim would wait for him, because he could not live without the other man.

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
(and the who's here)

When they had beamed back to the Enterprise Jim was still in Spock's arms staring up with bright eyes, eyes that were clear and alive. Spock could not breathe because Jim was here in his arms, alive! His was not injured, not bleeding, not dead. Scotty was there and was going to explain but McCoy rushed in but before he got over to them, Spock leaned down and claimed Jim's lips.

Jim thought he made it to Heaven, though he wasn't sure how, because here Spock was kissing him and stroking his hand. Well kiss was not a strong enough word because Spock was claiming his soul through his lips.

'Mine, mine, mine, mine Jim, my mate, mine T'hy'la," Jim heard Spock claim deep within his mind.

'Yes, Spock yours,' Jim thought back to the Vulcan, 'Always yours, always have been, always will be, even before I met you. I have been waiting for you my love, my love forever,'

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
(and the who's here)

Spock lay next to his sleeping T'hy'la, soon he would make Jim his mate; he had all been an experiment of aliens. The aliens sent them a message said even though they were very young still that they had great potential, that their reactions to their crewmates dying showed that they would be great people.

Spock could not be upset at the aliens now; they brought Jim and himself together as they should have been along. They had been cheated from many years together, but they had much more and they would be together. Jim turned and snuggled deeper into Spock's chest his smooth cheek brushing into the dark hair there and Jim sighed. Spock pulled Jim closer to him, wrapping his arms around his T'hy'la smooth golden body drinking in Jim's heat. He rested his face against Jim's golden hair and took a deep whiff of his T'hy'la sent. Spock fell asleep, purring which Jim would tell him he loved very much. Spock felt love, happiness, and contentment flowing through him; he realized it came from both of them. They had always been and will forever be, in this life and the next, T'hy'la