Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
Levi felt the hair on his nape stood out from its end. The sensation akin to being stung by a swarm of angry bees or being attacked by an invisible army of ants. It's crawling down to his body and he fucking hate that feeling.
That and the familiar twisting of his guts. Not to mention,a growing migraine that he's been nursing for almost three amount of his favorite tea could take those truly hate feeling like that.
And it's all because of that one person.
"Any news from them?" He asked Erwin as he stormed in his office for the umpteenth time these past three could only spare him a tired and condescending look.
"This came yesterday - an hour after you left,it said that they'll have two more days and then ,they'll return, " The blond handed him the sent via bird messenger. "No signs of titans on their first round so she decided to move her squad to the next wants to capture at least one or two titans so she could do an extensive studies on them."
"What?That sicko!" Levi cursed under his breath as he eyed the paper. "How many scouts did she brought with her?I reckon they are only seven of what about their -"
Erwin shook his head. "She only brought five with her."
He cursed out loud. "Why did you let her do that?!That's suicide,Erwin!Are you out of your fucking mind?!"
"Do you honestly think that I did not stop her?" Erwin scowled at him."You know how hardheaded she case you forgot,Hanji is one of the strongest and smartest soldier ,of all people here should be the one to trust her more with leading this squad."
"Tsk." He knows that but... he just can't shake off that twisting feeling on his guts whenever Hanji went outside the wall without him.
Not to mention that she left just before he came back from his assigned mission.
Blame that titan-obsessed weirdo,he scowled even her to push her squad and herself to capture a titan for her research.
It's all for the name of science! Hanji would say with that shitty grin on her face.
It was then he heard a commotion outside - distinct sound of their thick iron gate being open, rushing scouts shouting at one another and the frantic galloping of horses. He immediately look outside the window.
"That's Hanji's squad..." He heard Erwin gasped beside him.
His eyes immediately search for her. Fucking shitty eyes...
She's not there! Then his eyes caught a sight of a wagon drawn by one of the horses. He felt his heart went up to his throat. As if in trance, he spun around and run outside.
"Levi!" Erwin chase after him.
She's got to be there! His heart beating hard against his chest as he approached them.
"Where is that shitty glasses?" He felt his voice scratching his throat raw. Hanji's squad bowed down their faces. The urge to punch someone is so tempting right now. "I don't want to repeat myself. Answer me or else I'll -"
"W-We tried...But we can't find her whole body!" Came a trembling voice from one of the scouts.
Levi felt his whole body froze. "The fuck you say?"
One scout lifted the tarp on the wagon. And there, lays a gruesome sight...
A bloody mess of one distinct dismembered arm.
"We came across two deviant type titans on our way here..."
Levi walked towards the arm and gazed at knew damn well that hand anywhere...
"Squad Leader ... her blades broke after killing one of the titans and then...everything happened so fast..."
Please let this be a dream! Please let this be a dream!Fuck,let this be a dream! Somebody
wake me up!
" The other titan got her ..."
Do you love me, Levi?
He felt his stomach churned.
Just stay for a little while...
"...she fought hard ... "
Did you know that you have the cutest expression when you're sleeping?
"A-And then...and then ... it...s-swallowed her, b-but her arm got c-caught on its teeth - "
Hey, do you think our children will be as midget as you?
His ears tuned out every sound he could make.
I wish they'll have my height and my brains!Hahaha!
His hand trembled as he touch the bloody arm.
Then they'll have your nose and your lovely hair...
It felt wrong. She has to be alive... She HAS to be alive!
The shape of my eye then your eyesight... How's that, huh?
"No... s-she can't be..."
Do you think they'll be as clean freak as you or a slob like me?
Suddenly he could hear a violent ringing on his ears that it made him clutch his head in pain, it felt like its splitting in half ...
The pain is too much to handle so he shouted at the top of his lungs but to his shock, no voice passed through his lips. His eyes widen in confusion as he realized that he is now standing at the middle of the forest. Everything seems to be gone - the headquarter, the scouts, Erwin and the wagon carrying Hanji's severed arm - Where the hell did they go?! Then he heard something ... or more like someone!
Levi!
It's her!Hanji!He can hear her voice!How's that even -
Hey,Levi...
Hey...
Levi...
"- ey,Levi!Levi!"
Levi bolted up rather violently, gasping loudly then focusing his eyes on his surrounding, it seems to him that the whole place is spinning. Shaking off grogginess out of his sluggish brain, he could make out where he is - he's in his quarter, but the dim light made it looks like a damn cave. He felt awfully tired, his palms wet and clammy from sweat. His whole body also drenched in sweat. He felt like he wanted to chuck up.
"F-Fuck..." he croaked for his throat felt somewhat dry and scratchy. A dream! It was just a damn dream! He let out a relieved sigh.
"L-Levi? You're having a nightmare...Are you okay?" Came a gentle whisper on his side.
He immediately glanced up and finds himself staring at honey colored orbs and a distinct nose.
" What happened? Nightmare again?" Hanji asked him again while caressing his face.
" Z-Zoe..." He rasped out her name, which is not a common occurrence since his terms of endearments varied from : Shitty-glasses,slob,Titan freak ,Four eyes ,crazy shit and other not-so-sweet-terms.
Hanji chuckled then decided to tease him. "Aww ... Don't tell me you want to cuddle? My big baby - Whoah!"
He pulled her close and snuggled her. Levi buried his face on her naked breast,letting her scent filled his smell of sex and sweat with the hint of her own feminine breathe her in as if he's trying to memorize or savor the familiarity of her smell. Then, there's her heartbeat. He have to make sure of it.
Her heart, it is still THERE. That it is still beating. That she is well and...
"You're...You're... You're alive! " Levi almost choked on his words.
He heard her chuckle again then felt her hand combing through his damp hair. It was comforting ... calming even but oddly enough, he can't seem to calm down a bit. His whole body stiff. He doesn't want to close his eyes for he feared that she will vanish or..or...
So he focused on his breathing and the rhythm of Hanji's heartbeat.
"Tell me about it." Hanji coaxed him after some minutes of awkward silence.
He sighed and willed his muscles to relax before he decided to speak. " Y-You died. I dreamt that you...you did not made it yesterday. They only retrieved your arm..."
She hugged him while humming a tune. " Shh I'm here , nothing to be worried now."
He gave a weak nod and hugged her back even tighter. Unlike on what happened on his dream, Hanji and her squad had returned safely without a scratch. He could even remember how disappointed she was when they returned empty-handed.
"Remember our deal. D-Don't you dare break it, shitty glasses. Are we clear on that?"
" !"
No dying. Keep fighting and...
"Hey,Levi ... "
Whatever happens ... They must stay alive till the end. His arms held on to her even tighter.
" Ahm...much as I want this cuddle thing, believe me, you're adorable and all, but...uhh ..."
"What is it? " He mumbled under his breath.
"You see, I'm kindda sore y'know?" she squeaked but he could guess that she had that big grin on her face. "We are kindda rough last night so..."
He felt his face burn from the memory of last night. Because from the moment that he saw her return, all he could ever think of was how to 'punish' her from making him worried ,when he knew that she was finished with her reports to Erwin ,he immediately pulled her towards his quarter and began his 'punishment' on her. It was one of their intense nights, if he may add.
He releases his hold of her reluctantly. "S-Sorry ," he apologized while looking at her eyes.
"Did it hurt really badly?"
Hanji shook her head. "Not that bad, though ,but it's just..I don't know...It's been quite a while since we last did that. And despite you being midget, well, you're kindda big and hard to , I don't know if I'll be ever to be used to it." She teased as she playfully winks at him.
He could see the tiredness on her but despite of it, there's a certain glow around her and the sparkles on her eyes - with or without her shitty glasses, one could see her emotions and even in dim light, they never falter, it stood out even. His eyes moved down at her naked body, signs of their intense love making were evident on her skin and suddenly, his hands itches to caress her again. Hanji may not be what you call, an ideal womanly curves or beauty - but damn,for him, her body is perfect. He immediately felt that familiar heat spiraling down on his loin and she must have notice it for she slap his shoulder.
" Cut me some slack ,will you?" She pouted then pointed at his obviously awakened 'titan'. "Sorry, love .I would love to, but we have a meeting with the higher-ups later, so, no limping alright?"
He snorted. " Then, we'll bathe later. You don't want to smell like that when we meet them."
"Ehhh?What's wrong with it?" Hanji whined. " I just took a bath yesterday, `sides,I love your scent all over me."
" That's yesterday, slob. You don't want Mike making weird faces at us ,do you?"
"Well, I don't mind at all ," Hanji smiled at him, and whether he admits it or not, she looks cute smiling like that so he can't help but smile at her too. Then he pulled her again closer to give her a kiss. Much to his delight, she responded eagerly, turning the simple kiss into a hot torrid kissing. They only stop because they were out of their presses her forehead on his cheek.
"You know that I love you, right?" She whispered.
He nodded and gently kisses her face. "Don't you dare die on me, Four eyes..."
" Same goes for you too,shorty ," she kisses him back. " We'll be together to see the end of this war ,okay."
" Yes ," he answered then glared at her. "And please, don't you dare pull that stunt again on me or I swear ,I'll wring that filthy neck of yours."
"Aww... You're no fun, Captain Clean-freak! "Hanji pouted at him and let out a yawn. He rolled his eyes and opted to look at the window. He could see the medley of red orange, blackish -blue hues of the sky, seems like the dawn is coming in a few hours. Meeting will be at six o'clock and by the looks of it, sleep has already evaded him.
"Hey, Shitty glasses..." he called her.
"Hmn? "came Hanji's sleepy reply.
"I love you ," He heard her gasp. It's not that everyday he said those words out loud. He may be blunt at many times, he needed to be one because he's an officer - but when it came to his feelings, he is
very discreet and not eloquent with it. Levi believes in the saying, action speaks louder than words. It is more plausible with their current situation, with death chasing them every time and all. Loving someone and having commitments... those were weaknesses but at the time it is where someone gathers their strengths, hopes and wills to keep on fighting for change.
" `Love you too, you grumpy midget," Hanji cuddled close to him.
Those years without having someone to lean on proved to be one of the hardest times of his life ,but with his shitty glasses on his arms, he'll savor every fucking moment that he has and spend it wisely.