AN: I love this song! It's a songfic to Blinding by Florence and The Machine. I thought of New Moon once I put my iPod on shuffle and this song came up! Set after New Moon. Based off the movie adaption, because I could imagine more scenes where he turns away.
BPOV
I thought back to the past few months.
I thought back to when we broke up in the forest.
Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state.
I thought back to the months that he had left me. According to Charlie, I was practically a zombie. I don't even want to describe the pain.
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake.
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from the slumber.
I thought back to my sudden epiphany.
Until I realise that it was you who held me under.
Then everything came flashing by.
Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids.
I saw the moment where Edward turned away from me when I mentioned he got contacts. I saw the moment, after the biology field trip where he turned away. I saw him giving me a kiss on my forehead, right before he left me.
Shaking through my skull, through my spine, down through my ribs.
Then I saw Jacob.
I could see his face, when he was trying to teach me how to ride a motorbike. I could see the whole pack, walking towards me. I could see Paul transforming into a wolf. I could see myself falling off the bike. I could see Jake's excited face when I brought in the motorbikes, and he engulfed me in a massive hug.
No more dreaming of the dead, as if death itself was undone.
No more calling like a crow, for a boy for a body in the garden.
I saw Edward walking to the Volturi, and Alice being held back by Felix. I saw Jane's blood red eyes, as she turned around to face Edward. I saw Jake's face, as he held my hand, not wanting me to go and find Edward.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.
I had another flashback to the previous months.
I thought of him slow dancing with me, with my cast on. I thought of him telling me about the Volturi. I thought of us at his meadow. I thought of us in my bedroom, and that first kiss.
And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack.
All around the world was waking, I never could go back.
More images flashed through my brain.
The crowd of people dressed in red. Running through all of them. Seeing him take off his shirt, ready to step in the sunlight. I felt the way I crashed right into him, and his arms just held me upright. I saw Felix battling with him, and I could have heard my own voice screaming Edward's name. I could replay the sight of Felix punching through every surface, his hand curled around Edward's neck tightly, and Edward not fighting back.
Cos all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open.
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken.
I saw flashes of Jake's and Edward's face alternating. It was like my mind was asking me which one to choose.
No more dreaming of the dead, as if death itself was undone.
No more calling like a crow, for a boy for a body in the garden.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.
I remember sitting there, and seeing Edward by his Volvo. After a few people passed, he was gone. A deep hole had been punched through my chest, and that was the worst feeling ever.
Someone's stitching up the circuit boards.
Someone's slipping through the hidden door.
Someone's stitching up the circuit boards.
I remembered the way it felt when I touched his hand in his car. I remembered the way my heart beated erractically whenever he was around me. I remembered the way his cool arms wrapped around me for a hug.
No more dreaming of the dead, as if death itself was undone.
No more calling like a crow, for a boy for a body in the garden.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love.
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world.
I remembered how Jake made me feel happy. How he cheered me up. How his infectious charm lifted my spirits. How sweet he was. How he ran to my house, just to give me a hug.
Snow White's stitching up the circuit boards.
Someone's slipping through the hidden door.
Snow White's stitching up the circuit boards.
Someone's slipping through the hidden door.
Edward came back. There were a few conflicts, with Jake being a werewolf, and it's their job to kill vampires.
I snapped back to reality, when Edward whispered in my ear.
"What were you thinking of?"
"Many things."
He groaned. "I wish I could read your mind!"
I kissed him softly on his lips, before turning away, and snuggled into him.
I thought of my flashbacks, and thought of what they meant.
I knew I was in love with two worlds.
But I didn't know which one was the right one to love.