vergissmeinnicht
(prologue – distant memories)
There was this boy just down the road.
He loved to read, a little bit shy on the outside – but that just added his charm – and was really, really kind. And it's not just some random bullshit that you use to describe people you don't really know since there are not much to say. It was completely, definitely, entirely, different. It reminds her of her loving father.
There was this one time – Touka was searching for the bird's food, bringing a bucket with her and a shovel, this time without Ayato because he was apparently busy today – but it lasted on her mind forever.
She remembers because he was alone, reading a somewhat heavy book on the swing. Unaffected by her presence for he was too immersed in his book. Touka too, did not care much – she was there for the one and only thing after all. Although she was pretty curious since it was rare for her to see or interact with kids her age.
Once upon a time, she was just a sweet, lovely child – without any scars from the world's faults after faults.
She dug and dug and found nothing and before she realised it, a mountain of dirt has piled up next to her. The deeper she dug, the harder the soil had become, and so, she used her entire power to lift her shovel and yes! She whooped because she managed to lift her shovel and –
Oops. Apparently it landed on the boy.
She froze, unable to move. For one second, Touka thought the boy was going to be mad. But the boy just merely brushed the dirt from him and well, he stood up.
Touka gulped.
"What are you doing?" It was not an angry tone you would have expected but a much more gentler tone with genuine curiosity etched in his voice. She was startled.
"I'm searching for my bird's food." Came the timid reply, from the guilt of accidentally making him dirty. And she almost forgot but she didn't – her father's words, "Say sorry if you did something wrong." echoed inside her head. "I'm so sorry."
"Oh." He smiled brightly at her, something she didn't quite understand 'till these days. "It's nothing. Do you want me to help?" He scratched the back of his head.
"Uh.." Touka glanced between the shovel in her hand and the hole. "Maybe?"
The boy reached out his hand and took the shovel from her. "You know, if there is no worm after you dig that deep, then you should search somewhere else. Worm likes damp place so it would be better if you search worms around damp area."
Touka nodded, mentally noting it on her mind.
The boy searched around and stopped at a certain spot with Touka following closely behind. Then, he began to dig. Touka began to get bored when nothing was found after a minute had passed. She wasn't a patient person to begin with.
"If you can't do – "
She stopped when the boy lifted up her shovel and showed her the worms. Her eyes widened in wonderment and she clapped her hands in delight. "Thank you very much!" Touka exclaimed, overcame with happiness. Now, she didn't need to worry for a week.
"It's nothing." The boy smiled at her.
"What's your name?"
"It's Kaneki Ken. Yours?"
"Touka, Kirishima Touka. But call me Touka."
"Sure, Touka-chan."
Now, everything has changed. She is no longer the naïve girl from the past. He is no longer around. He is not here anymore. Everything is so fucked up she can't be bothered to think anymore, everyday is a passing blur in her mind.
In and out. Everyday. Sometimes, it won't go out.
Those memories are what keeping her sane. She's barely there, clinging to those happy memories as if it's her life line. And it is, in some sense. And she fears it more than anything with each new day, the memories turn hazier and blurrier and –
That's why she needs to keep remembering, repeating –
Or it would dissolve into some background memories.
And Touka fears it more than anything.
…
a/n: yes, I decided it's a rated M story. There would be some inappropriate stuff
but it's a serious story so, the M is not some fun stuff you use to fantasize.
not too detailed m rated scene tho; should i move it to T? thanks for reading