This is the third and possible final story in this epic series.

Disclaimer: I still only own my weird mind. No, MCR is not mine, neither are Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, or Ke$ha. Thank you.

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After Princess Alice's last rescue, news got around that the Knights of the Coffee Table were not to be messed with, especially Prince Gerard. He had serious powning skills, and wit as sharp as a knife (at any given moment in time this could easily be proven incorrect...) and was a dangerous adversary. Meanwhile, a new addition had been made to Princess Alice's group of ladies-in-waiting. There was Lady Revenge of the Blue Hair, a woman who had traveled from Whales (yes, this spelling was intentional) to live with and serve the Princess Alice. Lady Jane of the Batman Robes, who had come from a distant kingdom known as Shakespearia and liked talking in an old fashioned tongue. Two more ladies add to the havoc, the Lady Alexis of the Pencil Sketches, who was forever carrying around a large bag full of everything a person could ever need. And finally Lady Maria-and-a-half of the Recent Addition, who has (obviously) just joined our story.

Now, in Jane's homeland of Shakespearia, a giant monster was ransacking homes and destroying precious farming fields. Without the fields, the people of Shakespearia would surely die of starvation. Lady Jane ran into the throne room, her newly-dyed brown hair flying out behind her and her skirt on backwards. She curtsied quickly to Queen T and turned her eyes on the Princess. "Princess Alice, your Highness, my homeland is being attacked!" At this, sir Ray's pageboy, Daniel, (here's where my love interest joins the story) jumped to attention.

"By whom, dearest Lady Jane?" Alice asked, sitting up a bit more regally in her pouffy chair.

"The Glitter Gang and their terrible monster!" Jane professed. At this, the pageboy leapt from his seat (still unnoticed by everyone else in the room) and dashed to the stables to ready the knight's horses.

MEANWHILE...BACK IN THE THRONE ROOM

The company gasped in unison. The Glitter Gang? Only four of the most feared members of the medieval mafia to ever live! There was Lady Ke$ha, Sir Lambert, and the Lady Gaga. They were terrible foes, and were not to be messed with. The most terrible thing about them, though, was their monster: The Glittery Goat of Doom. As soon as Daniel finished giving Sir Ray the dealio (for Page Daniel was a very bad white 'gansta') on the monster, Sir Ray called for his noble steed: Sir TrotsALot.

"Come, Knights of the Coffee Table, let us ride to Shakespearia and rescue the noble citizens!" Sir Ray called. Gerard and Frank followed. Mikey, who was missing in the last story (he was enjoying a nice bubble bath) also mounted his unicorn and took off after his older brother's retreating form. (Of course they were riding with the sunset behind them, the wind blowing back their hair...yada yada...back to the "plot")

The Ladies Jane, Revenge, and Maria-and-half (Maria for short) clung to Princess Alice in abject fear. With the men gone to fight the Glittery Goat of Doom, they would have to defend the castle on their own. "What shall we do?" Maria asked, throwing a very melodramatic hand to her forehead. Alice, copying her motion, sighed loudly.

"I know not, but we should all get a good night's sleep. Surely the menfolk shall return upon the morrow, and then we shall rejoice with much feasting and the playing of Mortal Kombat!" the sassy Princess exclaimed, reading off of the cue-card Jane was holding. "Why must I use such big words?"
"Ask the author," Jane smiled, then turned and looked in a mirror, "Seriously, knock it off. You know as well as I (since we're the same person, maybe?) that Alice has issues with screwing up the proper pronunciation of rather large words."

(Sorry)

And so the women retired to their beds, each one of them dreaming about a certain handsome knight (Except Jane, who was dreaming about a certain "dreamy" pageboy named Daniel...*drools*)

IN SHAKESPEARIA

"Gaga oo-lala, attack this vill-age!" the Lady Gaga was singing loudly in the ear of her pet, the Glittery Goat of Doom. The Goat, unfazed by the strangely dressed woman covered in sparkly material singing in his ears, just continued to munch contentedly at a patch of house. People ran uselessly in circles, their arms held up above their heads, screaming loud enough to wake the dead. The dead, who were now wide awake, were stumbling nostalgically through the rubble of the Goat-eaten houses, muttering to themselves about "those darn kids and their newfangled house-eating-goat-devices."

Sir Gerard rode up, followed by Mikey, Frank and Ray, all of them looking...emo. They, in their long journey to reach the doomed village in time, had not stopped at Ye Olde Starbuckes for coffee, and Sir Gerard was sorely disappointed. His comrades, meanwhile, were readying for battle. Sir Ray and Sir Frank pulled out Ye Olde Batterye Powerede hairdryers while Sir Gerard got out eyeliner and Sir Mikey retrieved his trusty Plushie Of Death and Destruction. The four men, with weapons held high, charged the Goat and proceeded to hair dry-and-makeover it to death. Sir Mikey stood a distance away, watching, while holding onto his plushie with a death-grip like no other.

The Glittery Goat of Doom poofed into a pile of blue-and-purple glitter, (as usual...really. It's the third one of these stories) and the knights turned to the Glitter Gang. The Lady Gaga looked over at Sir Lambert, who pulled out a sparkly black microphone, and Lady Ke$ha, who was slobbering drunk. The Lady Gaga snarled at her foes. Lady Ke$ha, after deciding that she was on the losing team, poofed into gold glitter on the spot, leaving behind an empty bottle of something. The Lady Gaga rolled her eyes.

"Want My Chemical Romance dead," she sang menacingly. Sir Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Thank goodness we can communicate in normal language, without the singing our own altered lyrics. That's just obnoxious."

"Let's have some fun, this battle's sick, I'm gonna hit you all with my whoopin' stick!" and with those words, The Lady Gaga pulled out a menacingly large tree branch. The knights were unaffected as, with another poof of lost hope, Sir Lambert disappeared as well. The Lady Gaga sighed sadly.

"You win this game!" and then she too poofed into a silvery pile of oblivion.

"Well that was...anticlimactic," Sir Ray snorted. The four knights got back on their horses, rode back to the castle, and played Mortal Kombat with the Princess and three of her ladies. The Lady Jane, meanwhile, was making a rather cold Page (now Sir) Daniel a cup of cocoa, seeing as he had videotaped the whole battle.

"You're so brave!" Lady Jane smiled, leaning towards him. He blushed, glad he could use the head of the fire as an excuse for his flushing face. "Thank you ever so much. How can I reward you?"

And with no other words spoken, every couple in the castle (Lady Revenge and Sir Frank, Sir Mikey and the Plushie of Death and Destruction, Sir Gerard and Princess Alice, and Lady Maria and Sir Ray) all leaned in for a kiss in front of some glowing object. This way the audience only sees their silhouettes, and are less offended.

FIN