DISCLAIMER: Digimon does not belong to me.

WARNING: This story contains a male/male relationship, so if you have a problem with this, please press back and take your narrow-mindedness elsewhere. Otherwise, enjoy!

QUICK NOTE: This is a flashback story. The flashbacks will be in bold.

AS ALWAYS, FOR ALWAYS

TICK. TICK. TICK.

From somewhere deep inside him, a low sigh escaped Taichi's lips. He was exhausted. He'd been sat there on one of the shabby leather seats for hours and hours, hunched over with his head cupped in his hands, just listening to the ticking sound of the clock hung on the wall opposite him and the murmur of voices in the distance.

He was waiting for some news on Yamato, but the Doctors and Nurses, looking worn out with bags under their blood-shot eyes and shoulders slouched, hurried by without a second glance, their feet making squelching noises on the freshly polished floor as they went.

TICK. TICK. TICK.

Taichi was growing increasingly impatient. Why was it taking so long? And why weren't they telling him anything? What about Yamato? Was he going to be all right? Was he…was he…

Taichi's chest tightened unpleasantly, and for a second he couldn't breathe, but then he shook his head violently, bangs of sodden hair whipping him in the eye as he did so.

No, Matt's not…no, no he can't be… he's all right, the paramedic said, he told me it was going to be OK, he said…he said…

But there was a horrible, gnawing feeling in the pit of Taichi's stomach that wouldn't go away…

Taichi's mind kept wandering back to the accident, like on repeat, the memory was on loop, playing over and over. Again and again, Taichi would watch himself push pass Yamato and make a dash for it across the street – it came out of nowhere, there was a horrible thumping noise, a screech of tires…there was so much blood…he wouldn't wake up…

At that moment, the door to his right creaked open. Taichi sprang to his feet in an instant, ready to pounce on the next Nurse or Doctor who entered and demand to know what was happening – if Yamato was going to be all right – but it wasn't a Nurse or Doctor who was stood there, but Takeru. He still had tinsel tied in his hair.

Something inside Taichi snapped then as he saw Takeru standing there, looking as worried as he felt, and he was over come emotion. His knees gave way under him and he slammed to the floor, hunched over, tears streaming down his face. His whole body tingled as wave after wave of emotion washed over him.

'…Matt…oh, Matt…oh God, please…no, not Matt…'

Vaguely, he heard footsteps approach him and then a pair of hands gripped his shoulders and pushed him into a sitting position. Takeru came into focus through the blur of tears, his blue eyes, so similar to Yamato's, were wide and filled with panic.

'Tai, what's happened? Matt – where is he? What have they said? Is he all right?' Takeru's words all came out in a rush. He shook Taichi's shoulders impatiently when he didn't respond. 'Tai! Talk to me! What's happened?'

Again, Taichi didn't answer. Instead, he cried harder, whimpering, 'Matt…oh please God – Please…'

Takeru's lost his patient then. He growled in frustration, his hands curling into fists, and then – THUMP!

Takeru had punched Taichi in the face. Hard. It did the trick – Taichi's tears subsided at once. For a moment after, though, no one moved, there was a stunned silence, and then Taichi reached up and cupped his aching cheek.

'Sorry,' Takeru said, watching Taichi closely. 'You were getting hysterical.' There was another brief silence, and then Takeru asked again in a low voice, 'Tai, what's happening? I just got a call from the hospital saying Matt's been brought in and that I should get here as soon as possible. They wouldn't tell me anymore. Tai, please…'

It hurt Taichi to see the look of fear and desperation on Takeru's face. He swallowed the lump in his throat and said in a hoarse voice, 'There was an accident…the car, it came out of nowhere…we were arguing and then…the car…Matt was on the floor, he was unconscious, I thought he was…oh Matt…'

His voice cracked with emotion and he trailed off.

Takeru's eyes were bright with tears. 'Where is he?' he whispered.

Taichi shook his head. 'I -I don't know…they took him…they won't tell me anything, I'm not family…'

Takeru rose to his feet in an instant. 'I'm gonna go find someone and see what's going on then,' he said.

Taichi nodded in understanding, getting to his feet also. He grabbed Takeru's upper arm as he went to leave. 'You'll come back and tell me, won't you?' he asked Takeru, sniffing. 'You know…whatever the outcome?'

He nodded. They stared at each other for a minute then, a silent understanding passing between them, and then Takeru whirled on his heel and bustled out of the door he'd just come from.

Taichi fell back into the chair with a heavy sigh. He felt drained and weak, and there was a dull ache in his temples – THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Oh Matt, Taichi thought, please be all right, please. If anything happens to you, I'll never forgive myself. This is all my fault – I'm so so sorry, please forgive me…

'What about this one?' Yamato asked, smoothing out the creases in the silky, indigo shirt he was wearing as he turned to face Taichi.

Taichi, who was sprawled out on Yamato's bed, glanced upwards from the football magazine he was flicking through, and gave him the once over. 'Nah,' he said lazily, 'too much, you're only going to a concert, not on a date.'

Yamato's jaw tightened. Taichi knew he was annoying the blonde, but he didn't care, he was too fed up to. Yamato was going out with this pretty brown-haired girl from his music class to see a band Taichi had never heard of, and, in all, Taichi was feeling a bit left out, a bit jealous. He always felt like this whenever Yamato went out on dates, there was this horrible sensation in his stomach that wouldn't go away, even when Yamato came back and told him how disastrous it was, how much of an ass he'd made of himself. After hours of thought on the matter, Taichi put it down to feeling like he was losing his best friend because he'd lost him once to Sora and hated it, and Taichi never ever wanted to lose him again…

Across the room from Taichi, Yamato sighed irritably and pulled off his shirt. He tossed it onto the 'No' pile that was rapidly growing and then began to rummage through his wardrobe again.

Taichi sneaked a peak at him over the top of his magazine. From the position he was in, Yamato could be quite mistaken for a girl with his pert bum and lushly thick blonde locks hanging just passed his shoulder. He'd make an attractive girl, Taichi thought idly…

As Yamato moved, Taichi gasped and suddenly looked away, ashamed, and pretended to be immersed in football tactics. He heard the rustle of clothing, then silence, and then Yamato's voice, 'This one?'

Taichi looked up again, and ran his eyes up and down the length of Yamato's body. The tight black shirt clung to his willowy chest in a very sexy way and Taichi felt a warm stirring sensation in his crotch. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the feeling, and said bluntly, 'You look like a whore.'

Yamato growled with annoyance. His eyes flashed. 'Tai,' he snapped rudely, 'Fuck you.'

Taichi felt his own temper flare at Yamato's words, but confusion won over in the end, and he bit his tongue, thinking, Did I really just get turned on by my best friend? Male best friend? What the hell? Taichi shook his head. It's because he looked like a girl – yea, yea that's it…

And that was the end of Taichi's confusion.

Yamato was at the mirror hung over his chest-of-draws now, ragging his fingers through his hair. After a minute, he sighed, and then grabbed a tub reading, 'styling wax'. He scooped out a dollop of the gummy substance, rolled it between his fingers, and set to work on his hair, spiking it up.

Taichi watched him with an unpleasant sensation in his stomach. After a while, Taichi caught Yamato's eyes through the mirror. Taichi turned away quickly with a sigh – why was he putting so much effort in for this girl? Yamato had him, he didn't need her, in fact, he didn't need any of those whores…they were fine just the way they were, the two of them…

An awkward silence had descended around the pair. Taichi could hear the shower running in the other room – Yamato's Dad was home. A television blared above them, the six o'clock news, and someone out side was screeching their head off in a blazing row.

Yamato sighed deeply and Taichi glanced at him again. He could tell from the look on his face that he felt just as bad as he did. Something gave way inside Taichi then – he hated seeing Yamato upset. He slipped off the bed and wandered over to Yamato, placing a hand on his shoulder when he reached him. Yamato glanced at him, and Taichi saw the anger fritter away from Yamato's eyes in an instant. Taichi extended his arms and Yamato walked into them, burying his head into Taichi's shoulder.

'Sorry.'

The rain was showing no sign of giving way as Taichi stood at the bus stop sheltering from the downpour. It was the end of rotten day filled with annoyed teachers handing out detention slips and mind-numbingly boring lessons, and now it was raining and Taichi had just watched the bus pull away as he'd rounded the corner. He was not in the best of moods to say the least. It didn't help that his sodden clothes were clung to him uncomfortably and a cold chill was nipping at his shoulders and making him shiver.

Taichi sighed irritably as he slumped against the bus-shelter and closed his eyes slightly – it'd been a tiring day and he wanted nothing more than to be at home tucked up in bed. When he opened them again a second later his eyes were drawn to a familiar blonde-haired boy walking across the way. His hands were stuffed deeply in his pockets and head arched from the oncoming wind, he was drenched to the skin.

'Matt!' Taichi called out, cupping his hands round his mouth so his voice would travel over the hustle and bustle of the street. 'Hey, Matt!'

Yamato jerked his head up at the sound of his name. He smiled as he spotted Taichi and waved slightly.

'Over here!' Taichi beckoned Yamato over with a nod of his head.

Yamato checked the road briefly for oncoming traffic and then sauntered over. 'Hey Tai,' he said breezily when he came to a stop just in front of Taichi. 'S'up?'

Taichi shrugged nonchalantly in response, he wasn't in the mood to recap the horrible today he'd had, and then said, 'Anyway, what about you? Where've you been all day? I couldn't find you anywhere.'

It was Yamato's turn to shrug, 'I didn't feel like any company today so I stayed in the music room and practised my guitar.'

Taichi understood the true meaning of Yamato's words – he could read his best friend like an open book. 'So last night didn't go well and you thought you'd hide?'

Yamato stared at him for a minute, his face blank, and then he sighed heavily and ran a hand through his dripping hair. 'Yea, that's one way of putting it I guess,' he said, 'It was just…oh God, so bad…' He trailed off with a sigh.

Taichi placed a hand on Yamato's shoulder soothingly, his brow creased in a look of grave concern. 'Wanna talk about it?'

Yamato was quiet, he was staring down the street at something, and Taichi had to shake him a little to gain his attention again. 'Matt?' he prompted.

Yamato tore his gaze away from whatever he was staring at and looked at Taichi. A rose-pink colour tinged his cheeks, and he said in a hushed voice, 'It's kinda embarrassing…'

Taichi shrugged. 'I'm your best friend, you know you can tell me anything.' Then he added with a playful wink, 'especially juicy titbits that I can use against you at a later date. So c'mon, I'm all ears.'

Yamato laughed slightly, and then sighed, defeated, 'OK, well, you know I've like Anzu for ages and ages right?'

Taichi nodded, he did indeed know this fact, after months and months of hearing Yamato go on about her, anyone would.

'And last night I was hoping we'd connect, ya know? But when I tried it on with her, she backed away, looking shocked. She asked me what I thought I was doing and then started ranting on about how this wasn't a date, that she thought I was gay and just wanted to go as friends – and then! Just to add insult to injury she said… she said even if this was a date she wouldn't go with me anyway because I looked and acted like a girl!'

Taichi couldn't help it, he laughed – the same thoughts had crossed his mind about Yamato sometimes, he was a bit of a girl sometimes — but then he quickly clasped a hand over his mouth as Yamato glared at him. 'It isn't funny, Tai,' he growled, his eyes flashing dangerously.

'Yea, yea, I know, sorry,' Taichi spluttered hastily, 'just…'

Yamato sighed deeply, and leant back against the bus-shelter. 'It's not that I care about people thinking I'm gay or anything,' he continued, 'just…just she's not the first girl to turn me down because they think I am…'

Taichi's interest was piqued. 'Go on…'

'Sora,' Yamato said bluntly.

Taichi frowned, 'What about her?

Yamato and Sora had been dating since year nine and seemed the perfect couple, but then one day last year, out of the blue, they broke up. Yamato wouldn't talk about it, and after a while, Taichi gave up pushing on the matter, but now it seemed Yamato was ready to talk…

'She broke up with me because I wouldn't…' Yamato's blush deepened and he lowered his eyes. Taichi suddenly felt very uncomfortable. After a second, Yamato cleared his throat and continued, 'She said that if our relationship couldn't progress onto the next level that maybe we should call it a day. I tried, but I don't know, I couldn't, it didn't feel right…Sora, I loved her, I truly did, but…oh, I dunno, I don't understand…'

There was a short pause. Taichi was unsure what to do or say, but Yamato wasn't finished.

'Sora did, though. She never said it directly, but she hinted at it. She said that I should look into my heart and see my true desires, that I should stop denying it to myself and accept who I am…'

It was all quiet except for the rain drumming against the roof of the bus-shelter and the car swishing pass.

After a minute, Taichi dared to speak, 'And what do you think, Matt? Do you think they're right?'

Yamato looked away and pursed his lips. 'I don't know anymore, Tai, I really don't…'

At that moment, Taichi caught sight of a red double-decker rounding the corner nosily. Taichi growled with annoyance – he didn't want to leave Yamato in this state, but this was the last bus for another hour and it was raining and very, very cold...

Yamato had spotted the bus, too. 'Well, here's your bus…'

'Wanna come to mine and talk for a while?'

Yamato was silent for a moment, and then he shook his head. 'No, there's something I've gotta do.'

Taichi felt a pang of disappointment. 'Come over later then?' He said. 'Play some video games and just chill out, take your mind of Anzu.'

Yamato agreed hesitantly. 'OK, I'll be over later,' he said, as the bus came to a halt in front of them and the doors jolted open nosily. 'Cya then.'

'Yea, cya.'

'No he's doesn't! Don't be so stupid!'

Takeru snorted. 'I'm not being stupid, you are,' he growled, 'it's obvious he does – you don't ask someone out on a date if you don't.'

Hikari and Takeru were in a heated debate about something Taichi couldn't quite make out as he ambled into the living room with a can of Coca-Cola in one hand and a bag of cookies in the other. Neither of them seemed to notice him as he slumped into one of the couches that wasn't covered in textbooks and pieces of balled up paper, and flicked open his can.

'How many times do I have to tell you it's not a date?' Hikari all but shouted. She was sat on the floor opposite Takeru, her face gnarled in fury. 'We're going as friends!'

'Guys don't ask girls out on friendly bases,' Takeru roared back, 'they ask them out in hope to get it on with them!'

'True,' Taichi interjected quite pointlessly, nodding as he took a swig from the can in his hand, but they ignored him.

Hikari's eyes narrowed. 'Just because you're like that, Takeru, doesn't mean every other guy's like that, too,' she bit back, 'Davis certainly isn't!'

Takeru laughed bitterly. 'Yeah, OK, if you say so Kari,' he said sarcastically, his tone reminding Taichi greatly of Yamato, 'well, you just go ahead then and go ice-skating with Davis and you'll find out soon enough.'

Hikari glowered at him and opened her mouth to retaliate, but, at that moment, there was a knock on the door. She closed her mouth, her eyes flashing, then jumped to her feet and stormed out of the room.

Takeru watched her leave with a dark look on his face.

Taichi sighed, wishing those two would stop denying their feelings for one another and get on with it. From the hall he could hear the rattle of keys in the door, a creak as it swung open, and then a gasp of surprise. 'Matt?'

'Hey Kari,' Yamato's calm voice came. 'Tai in?'

'Yo!' Taichi called out. 'In here Matt!'

Taichi heard movement in the hallway, and then a boy Taichi didn't recognise came into view. Hikari brought up his rear, her mouth ajar as she stared at him.

Taichi blinked, 'Matt?'

Yamato's long blonde locks had given way to a much shorter, more rugged style that made his face look more angular and masculine, and his clothes were no longer tight and tidy, but slack and a similar style to what Taichi would wear himself.

Yamato smiled self-consciously and ran a hand through the short tuffs of blonde on his head. 'Yea, do you like it?' he asked. 'I felt like I needed to change my image.'

'I think it looks great,' Hikari piped up. She'd recovered from the initial shock of it all and was now pulling at a strand of hair on Yamato's head experimentally. 'It makes you look older.'

'Yea,' Takeru agreed, 'it suits you. I like those trousers, where'd you get them from?'

Yamato muttered off some shop in town, but Taichi wasn't paying attention, all he could think about was how very different, very male, Yamato looked…

Something wasn't right, Taichi could feel it in his heart – this was very un-Yamato like. Yamato loved his long blonde locks and hated Taichi's wardrobe, but then out of the blue, there he was, short-haired and clad in sports gear…

Yamato voice suddenly rang in his ears. '…and even if this was a date she wouldn't go with me anyway because I looked and acted like a girl!'

'Hey Tai!' A voice cut across through his thoughts. 'Yo!'

Taichi blinked. Yamato was stood in front of him, waving his hand back and forth across his face. Takeru's and Hikari's hushed voices could be heard in the other room.

'Hey, welcome back,' Yamato said with a warm smile as he settled himself into the seat next to Taichi. 'You OK?'

Taichi mirrored Yamato's smile with force. 'Er – yea. I just kinda spaced out for a second there,' he mumbled, rubbing the nape of his neck as he shifted uncomfortably.

'So,' Yamato said, scooting forward slightly and picking up the pile of video-games on the floor, 'what game we planning on playing then?'

Taichi shrugged. 'Whatever, you choose.'

Yamato let out a low whistle then. 'Woo, OK, now I know something's up,' he said, 'you never let me choose what we play.' He settled the pile of video-games on the floor. 'So, c'mon, what's eating you?'

Taichi made a face. 'Nothing,' he lied.

Yamato wasn't convinced. 'Yes there is,' he said. 'Don't lie to me.'

Taichi shook his head. 'I'm fine.'

'Tai,' Yamato growled. 'Just c'mon, get it out.' There was silence for a minute, and then Yamato said, 'You hate my hair, don't you?'

Taichi was surprised– he was on the right lines…

Yamato sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 'I was a bit like that when I first saw it, but it's grown on me now,' he said, 'it'll grow on you, too. You'll get used to it.'

But that wasn't what was getting at Taichi. 'Why?' he asked. 'Just why?'

Yamato raised his eyebrows. 'Why did I do it?' He was quiet for a minute, looking puzzled, and then, 'I just fancied a change,' he finally said.

'Just fancied a change?' Taichi echoed, unbelievingly. 'So this has nothing to do with Anzu then? Or Sora?'

Yamato's face darkened in an instant. 'No.'

Taichi snorted 'Don't talk through your ass,' he snapped. 'I mean, on minute you're telling me how a girl shoots you down because you look like a girl, and then the next, you're changing your image.'

'Just leave it, Tai,' Yamato growled, his eyes narrowing, 'You don't understand.'

'I don't understand because you won't tell me!'

'Tai, you wouldn't…'

'Well that's because you won't talk to me! Tell me what's going on with you! Make me understand, Matt!'

After a seconds thought, Yamato shook his head. 'I can't.'

'Why not?'

'Cos you could never understand, Tai,' Yamato said.

'What d'you mean by that?!'

Yamato sighed. 'Look, I can't explain it…it's just something I gotta do.'

'Matt!'

Yamato got to his feet. 'Ya know, I think I better go home actually. I've got an assignment I need to finish for tomorrow. Cya.'

And that was that. Yamato wouldn't speak of it again.

They were at the portable ice-rink that had come into town for the Christmas festival. Takeru had dragged them – Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Mime, as well as himself of course – out to it. He said he wanted to go ice-skating, but Taichi knew the real reason – he wanted to keep an eye on Hikari while she was on her 'date' with Daisuke.

The rink was swarming with people, whizzing around, all looking to be in great cheer.

Yamato, however, was not. He couldn't skate at all and was clung to Taichi for deal life.

'Oh God,' Yamato sighed, 'my ankles are killing me!'

'Jeez, will you quit moaning?' Taichi said, slightly irritated, as he pulled Yamato along. 'That's all you've done since we got here!'

'That's because I never wanted to come,' Yamato grumbled.

'Well don't get looking at me,' Taichi said, 'blame your brother, this was his idea.'

Yamato grunted.

They glided along a little further, Yamato leaning heavily on Taichi, and then Yamato was at it again, 'why's it all slushy? I can't balance, my feet keep buckling!'

Taichi growled in frustration. 'Matt! Stop moaning! You're being such a bore! Lighten up!'

Yamato narrowed his eyes, taking Taichi's words to heart. 'Well if you feel like that, why don't you piss off then?'

'There's no need to swear,' Taichi scolded, 'or get so defensive either!'

'No! no! Go, Tai!' Yamato said moodily, pushing Taichi away from him roughly. 'Go away!'

'Don't be stupid, Matt,' Taichi said through ground teeth. 'Now come here.'

But Yamato was adamant. 'No! Leave me alone, Tai!'

Taichi's patience snapped then. 'Fine!' he barked. 'If that's what you want!'

And, with that, he streaked off, zigzagging through the masses of people, feeling free and without a care, determined to have fun.

As he whizzed round, he spotted Yamato clinging to the sides, looking helpless, but Taichi tightened his jaw. It was Yamato's own doing, he shouldn't feel guilty…

Daisuke and Takeru challenged him to a race at some point, the last one round the rink being the one who had to get a round of drinks in after. Taichi never being one to turn down a challenge, jumped at the chance, and so, they were off. Taichi was winning, of course, and having such fun, right up until he noticed the commotion ahead of him that is.

Someone was one the floor, hurt. A circle was forming.

Taichi skidded to a halt just outside it, and craned his head to see.

'What happened?' Taichi heard someone asking.

'Not sure exactly,' someone else said, 'that blonde-haired kid just crashed into him. He just came out of know where!'

Taichi furrowed his brow. Blonde-haired kid?

He pushed his way through the crowd and gasped when he saw Yamato, looking dazed, being cradled by a lean-built boy, with longish, reddish-brown hair that hung sexily over his face.

'Matt!'

Taichi fell to his knees by his side and pulled Yamato onto his lap.

'Matt?' Taichi's voice held a note of panic within it. 'Are you all right? Matt?'

Yamato blinked a few times, and then mumbled, 'Tai?'

'Did he hit his head?' Taichi heard someone say vaguely behind him.

'I dunno—did he?' he added sharply to the brunette who was watching Yamato with concern evident in his eyes.

The boy shook his head, 'I don't think so. I don't really know…sorry…'

Taichi growled with annoyance and turned his attention back to Yamato.

'How are you feeling?' He asked.

'Er…I'm OK,' he said vaguely. 'My head hurts a bit…'

Someone shouted rudely then, 'Will you get off the rink, already? You're holding everyone up!'

Taichi's temper flared. 'Shut up, you wanker!'

'Hey!'

But Taichi's attention was already back on Yamato. 'Can you get up?' he asked.

'Yea, yea – just give us a hand,' he said.

Taichi got to his feet, pulling Yamato up with him. He swayed suddenly as he stood upright, but the brunette who'd been holding Yamato earlier, slipped a hand under his shoulder, steadying him.

'I'll help,' he said.

Taichi couldn't really refuse the offer. He forced a smile. 'Ta.'

And, so, together, taking an arm each, they lugged Yamato off the rink.

When they reached the bleachers, the boy seemed reluctant to leave. He shifted restlessly. 'Are you sure you're going to be all right?'

'He'll be fine,' Taichi growled, glaring hard at the brunette.

The boy glanced concernedly at Yamato again.

'Seriously, I'm fine,' he said. 'Thanks mate.'

It was then Taichi noticed Yamato seemed to be in a sort of trance. He couldn't stop looking at the brunette.

The brunette smiled. 'Think nothing of it,' he said pleasantly.

There was an awkward pause then, in which the brunette's eyes flickered towards Taichi and his smile falters somewhat. He glanced at Yamato again. 'So…I'll see you, Matt.'

'Yeah, see you…?'

'Aren. My name's Aren.'

Yamato smiled. 'Yea, see you, Aren.'

Taichi watched the brunette hobble back into the rink and disappear into the crowd with an unpleasant feeling unfurling in his stomach.

'Asshole,' Taichi hissed.

Suddenly, Yamato swayed slightly on the spot again and Taichi gripped Yamato's shoulders.

'Whoa,' Taichi said, 'steady, mate.'

Yamato tried to shrug Taichi off.

'Get off,' he said irritably, 'I'm OK.'

But Taichi didn't let go. He did the complete opposite in-fact. He threw his arms around Yamato's neck and hugged him tightly.

Yamato stiffened at his touch.

'I'm so sorry,' Taichi blubbered into his shoulder, 'I shouldn't have left you. I knew you couldn't skate, and still, I left you. I am so sorry, Matt. You could've been seriously hurt and it would've been all my fault! I'm so so sorry!'

'OK! OK!' Yamato said hastily, pushing him away slightly. 'Now get off me!'

Taichi pulled away hesitantly and quickly wiped at his eyes.

Yamato shifted uncomfortably. 'Yeesh, Tai, it was only a bump on the head, nothing serious…'

'Yea, I know, but still…'

Taichi refused to leave Yamato's side after that, and they sat on the bleachers watching the other skaters in a comfortable silence. Sora and Mime were skating hand-in-hand around the rink in a dainty, graceful motion, while Takeru and Daisuke pelted round, speed-skating, dodging and weaving through the throng of people. Hikari was helping a little girl, who'd fallen over as Daisuke sped passed, to her feet.

After a while, Taichi's stomach rumbled loudly.

'I think I'm gunna get some food. You want anything?' Taichi asked, standing up and reaching for his wallet. 'A burger? Fries? How about a drink?'

Yamato shook his head. 'No thanks, Tai.'

'I'll pay,' Taichi said, hoping to change my mind. He still felt extremely guilty about earlier and was trying to make it up to him anyway possible.

'Nah, seriously, I'm fine.'

'Oh, come on,' Taichi drawled, 'not even one of those chicken tortillas you love so much?'

Yamato stared at him, deadpan.

'Oh, c'mon, you know you want one, Matt. It's calling for you, can you hear it? Can you? Can you?'

Yamato glared at him and Taichi eventually got the message.

'Fine,' he said sulkily, 'I'll only be a minute.'

The queue was drawn out into a good twenty minute wait, and Taichi was growing more and more impatient as the minutes passed. He sighed and glanced around the rink impatiently. It was then he caught sight of the brunette who Yamato had crashed into hobbling over to where Yamato was sat.

Taichi narrowed his eyes as he watched the brunette ask nervously if he could sit down. Yamato welcomed him warmly, shuffling along so he could sit next to him, and soon they were chatting and laughing away like old friends.

Taichi's inside were burning with jealousy as he glared at the happy pair. Taichi couldn't quite comprehend the reason why, but it burned away all the same.

Then the brunette was patting Yamato on the leg and arm, and getting way too close for Taichi's liking – it was almost like he was flirting with him…

By the time he reached the front of the queue, Taichi wasn't hungry anymore, which was probably a good thing as the bell signalling the end of the session sounded. The rink was suddenly a scurry of movement as everyone clambered off, flustered and yakking away.

Taichi lost sight of Yamato and the brunette for a moment in the swarm of people, but when he spotted them through a parting, they were exchanging phone numbers.

Taichi was livid, and as soon as Yamato had wobbled back into the changing area, Taichi rounded on him.

'That guy was totally hitting on you, Matt,' Taichi said heatedly.

Yamato blinked. 'Wha –?'

'That dark haired guy was flirting with you!'

Yamato laughed, obviously finding the situation quite amusing, but then suddenly stopped short when he realised Taichi wasn't fooling around. 'You're being serious?'

Taichi remained silent, his face set.

Yamato frowned. 'Tai, you've got completely the wrong end of the stick – hasn't he?' Yamato added as he turned to Sora and Mime who were sat opposite them, pleading with his eyes for support.

'Tai's right,' Sora said at once, much to Yamato's obvious annoyance.

'He was totally gay,' Mime added, nodding. 'Shame that though, he was hot.'

'Mm,' Sora agreed. 'Did you see his eyes? Aw man…'

'Yeah,' Mime said, looking dreamy, 'what I wouldn't do to wake up to that.'

Sora and Mime giggled.

Yamato rolled his eyes and turned back to Taichi to exchange one of their infamous 'girls' looks, but Taichi pointedly looked the other way.

Yamato's temper flared.

'Look,' he snapped harshly, and Mime and Sora stopped giggling instantly. 'Does it even matter if he's gay or not? Or whether he was hitting on me? He's gone now and I never have to see or talk to him again. Now that's the end of it, I don't wanna hear anymore about him.'

Taichi felt a rush of jealously at the hint of sadness in Yamato's voice. He watched him whirl around moodily and begin to cram his skating boots into his already bulging bag.

There was silence for a moment, and then Sora said thoughtfully, breaking it, 'But you exchanged numbers, though, didn't you?'

Mime let out an excited gasp. 'Oh, when are you going to call him, Matt?' She asked eagerly, 'because if you're going to date him, I know this totally cute little restaurant down town for people who are just like you – '

Yamato whipped round quickly. 'People like me?' he said sharply, 'what's that suppose to mean?'

'You know – ' Sora and Mime exchanged a meaningful look which neither of the boys could understand. '—gay people.Homosexuals –'

'Mime!'Yamato snapped through clenched teeth, his eyes bulging slightly. 'I'm not gay!'

'Yes, if you say so,' Mime dismissed lazily, 'anyway, this place I was on about is just off the high street. You know that dodgy road just behind the cinema? Yea? Well it's along there. It's not very well known and very small, but it's ever so cute. It's got these big squishy purple seats that you kind of sink into. Oh, and in the toilet –'

Something snapped inside Yamato. 'MIME!' He yelled, so loudly, Hikari and Takeru, who were both sat pulling their boots off a little way from them, stopped talking and glanced over curiously. Yamato lowered his voice to a menacing growl, 'Mime, will you please just drop it? I don't like boys, I like girls – I love girls. Now it's not very hard to understand, but could you please try and get this through that thick skull of yours: I'm – not – gay!'

And with that, Yamato spun on his heels, and stormed off.

Taichi was awoken by someone shaking him roughly by the shoulders.

'Tai! C'mon, Tai, wake up!'

Taichi mumbled something under his breath and shrugged the hand off his shoulders.

'Tai! Wake up!'

With a growl of annoyance, Taichi cracked open his eyes. Takeru loomed above him. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and his cheeks tear-stained.

It took Taichi a moment to realise where he was, and then, in a flash, it all came back to him. He bounded off his seat and grabbed Takeru by the shoulders.

'Matt!' he cried, 'What'd they say? Is he OK?'

Something about the look on Takeru's face told Taichi that it wasn't good news. Taichi's heart gave a horrible jolt in his chest, and he felt his knees buckle slightly under him.

'He's not…he's not dead, is he?' he choked out, his voice barely but a whisper.

Takeru shook his head slightly, and then said in a low voice, 'He – he hasn't much time left…he's lost too much blood. They said he's in intensive care – he's fighting for his life, Tai!'

Takeru voice cracked and he broke down in tears then, falling into a heap on the floor.

Taichi barely noticed him. It felt like the world had stopped. He couldn't move, he couldn't feel, he could hardly breathe…

…He hasn't much time…much time….intensive care…he's fighting for his life, Tai…fighting…

Takeru's words whizzed around his head, over and over, but they didn't sink in…

…He hasn't much time…much time….intensive care…he's fighting for his life, Tai…fighting…

And then, in a sudden rush, reality hit home.

Taichi screamed.

'But I have to see him!' Taichi all but yelled.

'Please!' Takeru begged alongside him, 'You've got to let him in.'

The pretty, curly-blonde haired nurse was silent for a moment, but then she shook her head. 'I'm sorry, but it's policy. No visitors are allowed except family.'

'But I really really need to see him,' Taichi cried, 'I need to…I just need to see him. This is my entire fault, I have to say sorry…I have to…I need…'

He trailed off, his eyes shining brightly.

The nurse's face softened a little at the tone of desperation in Taichi's voice, but she remained firm in her resolve, 'Look, I'm really sorry, but I can't allow it…well, unless I have parental consent.'

'But my parents are out of town!' Takeru exclaimed. 'I've tried contacting them, but they're not answering there phones…they don't even know…'

The nurse looked very sympathetic. She bit her lip thoughtfully. 'Well, I suppose a little while won't hurt…come through.'

Taichi could've kissed her.

And so, they trailed after her through the door and into a small, sterile-looking ward. The air was very sullen.

The nurse pointed towards the end of the ward. 'He's behind the curtain. Please try and keep the noise down, though, will you?'

The picture was so surreal.

A puny-looking blonde-haired boy, as pale as the white-sheets beneath his battered form, lay there, connected to what seemed like hundreds and hundreds of wires. The monitor at his side beeped unnoticed.

Taichi bit the inside of his mouth hard. It was all he could do to stop himself from bursting into tears at the sight of his friend – friend? Was that what he was? Or was he something more now…

Taichi didn't know anymore, he was so confused…so scared…

He settled himself into one of the chairs beside the bed and took hold of Yamato's bony hand. His skin was cold and limp to touch and Taichi had to resist the temptation to jerk away. Taichi closed his eyes tightly, squeezing away the tears – this was hard. When he opened them again, his eyes came to rest on the bangle on Yamato's wrist. It was smeared with blood and blotted out half of the engraving on it.

Aren Ryusaki had given it to him as a Christmas present. Even now, Taichi was unsure of what went on between those two, how they got together in the end, but no matter how much Taichi hated him, wanted to track him down and tear him to pieces, bit by bit, he couldn't help but feel thankful towards him either, because through all the heartache, he'd helped them so much…

Taichi's mind was elsewhere as he moved the paint around the piece of paper in front of him.

He was in Art class, bored. Sora was sat next to him, picking glue off her hands as she cheerily ranted on about something Taichi knew nothing, nor cared, about.

' –and then I asked for a smaller size,' she was saying, 'and she gave me this look that said, 'yea, like you're that small,' so – get this! Mime slapped her across the face!' Sora laughed heartily, clutching at her side. 'I'm telling you, you should've seen that bitch's face!'

Taichi sighed – where was Yamato? He was late. He'd gone out last night to someplace he wouldn't say, and Taichi wanted to know the ins and outs of it all, but Yamato wasn't there and Taichi was growing more and more impatient…

A familiar voice jolted him back to reality. 'Hey.'

Taichi's head jerked up. 'Yama!' he said, his eyes lighting up. 'Talk about timing!'

Yamato had slipped into the spare seat between them.

'Matt!' Sora said spiritedly, noticing him as well. 'Finally! I was beginning to worry!'

Yamato gave a dry smile as he pulled a tatty-looking sketchbook from his bag and began to flick through it. 'Yeah, sorry…'

'Why are you so late?' Taichi asked.

'Overslept,' Yamato said simply, shrugging. He found an empty page in his sketchbook and placed it on the table.

'Completely understandable after the night you've probably have,' Sora said, winking, 'So, c'mon, I want all the details!'

Yamato smiled secretively. 'Well, you know,' he said airily, shrugging. It was then that Taichi noticed something different about Yamato. There was this sort of glow about him, and there was a sparkle in his eyes that Taichi couldn't quite figure out the reason for.

'No we don't,' Sora said, smiling, 'but we will do…' She nudged him playfully in the stomach. 'Come on, Matt, spill! I wanna know how it went with Aren!'

'Aren?' Taichi said sharply. 'What's he got to do with anything?'

A frown suddenly darkened Sora's features, and she glanced at Yamato, confused. 'You…you didn't tell him?'

'Tell me what?'

Yamato laughed nervously, and rubbed the nape of his neck. 'Well, er…it wasn't really a date you see, so I didn't see the point…and besides, I did tell him I was going out…' he trailed off, his eyes averted.

'Matt?' Taichi prompted, his eyebrows rose. 'What's going on?'

Sora clipped Yamato behind the ear in a sudden rush of frustration.

'Ow!' Yamato cried, jerking away, 'what was that for?'

'I can't believe you didn't tell him!' Sora growled. 'You're such a coward!'

Taichi was growing irritated at the pair. 'Just tell me what's going on for fuck sake! What's Aren got to do with any of this?'

'Well, if you haven't got the guts to tell him, I will,' Sora said, irritated, as she glared at Yamato who was nursing his ear and looked to be unwilling to talk as he stared at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. 'So, you remember that cutie from the ice-rink, yea?'

Taichi grunted. 'Go on…'

'Yea, well, Matt got a call from him the other week and they went out on a date last night –'

'It wasn't a date —' Yamato began to interrupt.

'Yes, yes,' Sora said impatiently, rolling her eyes, 'if you say so, Matt.'

Taichi was confused, he wrinkled his brow. 'So if it wasn't a date and…and you were just going as friends, why couldn't you just tell me?'

Sora sighed, 'because it was a date, idiot! Matty-boy here fancies the pants off him, but he's too scared to admit it! To admit it was a date!'

Yamato didn't correct her this time, he continued staring at the piece of paper in front of him.

Taichi's hands balled. He was both hurt and angry. When did his best friend start keeping secrets from him? Lying to him? When did his best friend start liking boys for fuck sake? And why, why did he feel so angry?

'Oh, I see,' was all Taichi said.

Yamato glanced at him hesitantly. 'I'm sorry, Tai, I should've told you, but I didn't want you to turn against me…think bad of me…I'm sorry…'

'Nah, it's cool,' Taichi lied, unable to look at Yamato. 'I don't care about sexual preference – you should know that about me by now, Matt.'

Yamato hung his head. 'I know, I'm sorry.'

'Well, now that's sorted,' Sora said briskly, rubbing her hands together, 'how about some juicy gossip?'

'I don't think this is really the time, Sora,' Yamato said quietly.

But Taichi disagreed. Despite his irritated state, he wanted to know what'd happened last night, too. 'No, go on, Matt, let's hear it.'

Yamato shifted uncomfortably. 'I really don't think I should…'

'Oh, c'mon, Matty-boy, just get on with it.'

Yamato glanced at Taichi.

'Well, OK, if that's what you want…' He cleared his throat. 'Well, er, we went out for a few drinks, ya know, and…yeah, it was going well. He's really easy to talk to, Aren – friendly and laid-back and really, really funny. We connected right away. Anyway, he said he was hungry and we went for bite to eat at this noodle place – oh my good, I've never tasted anything so delicious in my life! It was gorgeous! It was getting late now, and the moon had come out…it was beautiful along the river bank so we sat and stargazed…neither of us wanted the night to end, so…so I went back to his place…and well…'

Yamato trailed off.

Sora's mouth fell open. Taichi knocked over the water container in his surprise.

'YOU WHAT?!' he yelled, outraged, not even noticing the water seeping over his work and dripping onto the floor as he glared at Yamato.

Yamato lowered his eyes and shifted awkwardly.

Sora closed her mouth, blinking. 'Did you do anything with him?' she asked.

Red stained Yamato's cheeks and Sora squealed with joy.

'Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!' Sora chanted excitedly, clapping her hands together in an uncanny expression of a demented seal. 'I've gotta tell Mime!'

She ducked under the table. Taichi vaguely heard her rummaging through her bag and then the pounding of phone keys.

'Hey, Meems? You're never going to believe this!'

Taichi was sat in stunned silence – what the hell? Yamato…Aren…no, this can't be happening…

'Tai?' Yamato called wearily. 'Tai? You OK?'

Taichi swallowed the lump in his throat. 'Yup, I'm great. Just great,' he lied.

Yamato was unconvinced. 'Tai?'

At that moment, the bell sounded above them. The classroom was suddenly a chaos of hustle and bustle, chatter and laughter.

Yamato caught Taichi's arm as he was about to leave, but Taichi wrenched it out of his grip roughly and stomped off. 'Tai!'

Things were never quite the same after that. Yamato was always busy, spending all his free time with Aren and his band and Taichi only got to see Yamato in class time. Even then, though, the conversation was strained and awkward and superficial. Yamato didn't talk to Taichi like he used to and it pained Taichi greatly. He was lonely, too – he'd never realised how much time he spent with Yamato until now. And now…and now…Taichi was at a loose end. He had nothing to do.

He hung out with Sora and Mime for a while, and they hooked him up with a girl called Rikku. He liked her, she was blonde and willowy and had big breasts, but his heart wasn't in the relationship and he dumped her after a few weeks. He went on to date Sora after that, but again, his heart wasn't in it, and when he dumped her she said it'd only been a bit of fun between friends anyway, to relive the loneliness, and if was ever up for it again, he knew where to come...

Christmas was approaching fast and wasn't helping Taichi's mood one bit. Usually, Christmas was an anticipated event for Taichi; he loved the festive season – the decorations, all the scrumptious food, the presents – but now, everything seemed flat and dull. He couldn't muster up any enthusiasm at all, not even to decorate the tree, his favourite job.

Hikari and Takeru did it in the end, laughing and fooling about. Taichi hovered in the door way with a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

'Hey, Tai,' Takeru called out, 'Wanna help out?'

Taichi shook his head. 'Nah, can't be arse this year.'

Takeru chuckled lightly. 'You sound like Matt.'

Taichi sighed. 'Heh.'

'You seen him recently?' Takeru continued conversationally.

Taichi shrugged. 'Here and there, ya know.'

Takeru nodded understandingly. 'Yea, he's been a bit busy lately. Hey!' he suddenly blurted. 'I have an idea. I know he's free today, why don't you take some decorations, and, ya know, spice the place up. I was there the other day and he doesn't have one decoration up.'

'Yea,' Hikari piped up, 'that sounds like a great idea!'

And that was decided. With a box of decoration shoved in his hands, he was pushed out the door.

'And don't forget to invite him over to dinner,' his mother called out after him.

Yamato looked half asleep as he opened the door – his hair was ruffled and greasy, and he was clad only in his black boxers.

'Here,' Taichi said, thrusting a box of shimmering Christmas decorations into his hands before Yamato could speak. 'Mum says you can have these. They're spares.' And, without invitation, he edged passed Yamato and disappeared into the kitchen.

Yamato stood there in a dazed stupor for a moment, clutching at the box in his hands, and then he pushed the door shut with his foot and trailed after Taichi, who was now hunched over, rummaging through the fridge.

'Where's the Coke, Matt?' he asked, 'I can't find it.'

'Hey to you too,' Yamato said dryly as he sauntered passed him and settled the battered box on the counter, 'come in why don't you, make your self at home.'

Taichi ignored his sarcastic comment. 'Dammit, you haven't got any. Oh well.'

He straightened up with a sigh and nudged the fridge door shut with his foot.

There was an uncomfortable silence then. Yamato shifted uneasily.

When had talking to Matt become so hard? Taichi thought sadly.

After a few minutes, Taichi cleared his throat. 'So where's the tree than? You do have one don't you?'

'Yes, of course we do. It's in the spare room with all the other junk. But Tai I've—'

'No buts.' Taichi said sternly, already knowing that Yamato was going to protest about decorating the house up – he hated Christmas and didn't see the point in celebrating. They had the same argument every year, and, frankly, Taichi was a bit bored of it. This year, he'd decided, he was going to leave no room for argument. 'Oh, and by the way, my Mum's invited you and your Dad over for Christmas dinner.'

'Eh—?'

'Yuh-huh, and she says to be there no later than three,' Taichi continued, 'and could you possibly bring your own plates because there's never enough. Oh, and another thing,' Taichi added with a twinkle in his eye, 'she also said not to forget Tai's present.'

Yamato smirked drowsily. "Your Mom didn't say that!' he said, grabbing a glittery ball-ball out of the box and aiming it at Taichi.

Taichi ducked, letting the ornament sail over his head, and grinned at him. The awkwardness between them was gradually fading. 'Yes she did,' he said. 'Seriously, she said if you don't, she'll feed you cat food!'

Yamato mirrored his grin. 'No she didn't.'

'She did!'

'No she didn't!'

'She so did!'

'Tai, she didn't!'

'Oh yea? Ring her up and ask her because she so did!'

Yamato laughed softly, waving his hand dismissively. 'Look, yea, OK whatever. You're such an ass Tai.'

Taichi pouted in mock sadness. 'I'm not an ass,' he whimpered.

Yamato sighed. 'Well maybe not, but you sure look like one in that hat…'

Taichi suddenly inhaled sharply. 'Woo, that's it, you've done it now – you can insult me all you like, Ishida, but the hat…that's just low…' And with that, he tackled Yamato around the waist. They fell to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, each wrestling for the upper hand. Taichi had always been the stronger of the two, and now was no exception. Taichi seized the dominate role, rolling over and pinning a highly-cheered Yamato to the floor.

'Ow, get off, you're crushing me!' He choked out between laughter.

'Oh don't use that trick on me!' Taichi grinned. 'I invented that trick!'

'No, seriously, Tai!' Yamato spluttered. 'I think you're cracking my ribs!'

Taichi eased his weight onto his knees. 'That better?'

'Much.'

And then, suddenly, the air changed. The playful lightness of it all was gone and replaced by a sort of cracking feel. Taichi swallowed, unsure of what was going on. Yamato gazed up at him, his lips parted, eyes glassy…

Taichi shook his head violently, and pushed himself onto his feet. Yamato scurried to his feet also, brushing at his trousers absent-mindedly.

It was awkward between then again.

'So,' Taichi said, 'the tree…'

'Yea, the tree…it's in the spare room, c'mon.'

The night was drawing in.

'Thought you were staying over?' Yamato said casually, leaning against the doorway as he watched Taichi pull on his coat.

The tree was up now and decorated to all its Christmas glory, and it was time for Taichi to head home.

'Where am I gonna sleep?'

Yamato frowned, confused. 'Er – where we always sleep,' he said, 'on the sofa-bed. Why'd you ask?'

There's an awkward silence. Taichi blushed and lowered his eyes.

Yamato was silent for a moment, and then, suddenly, he spluttered with laughter.

'Oh God no – I'm not gonna jump ya, Tai, if that's what you're thinking.'

Taichi shifted uncomfortably, and Yamato laughed harder, clutching at his side with his hand.

'Well you don't have to worry, Tai, because you're not my type, but don't get me wrong or anything, you're cute, but you're Tai, you're my best friend and going with you, well, you know…that'd just be…ugh…'

'Erm, that's not the problem,' Taichi said, suddenly feeling very stupid. Yamato's eyes sparkled slightly. 'I know you'd never do that. It's just…'

'Then what is it?' Yamato said eagerly.

'Aren.'

Yamato's face was blank.

'What about him?'

'Well, isn't he gonna mind you being in bed with someone else,' Taichi said, 'because, you know, if my girl was sleeping with someone else, I'd kill the bastard.'

'Think you're gonna be beaten up by Aren?' Yamato said, smirking.

Taichi didn't smile back. 'I'd win,' he said determinedly.

'I know,' Yamato said seriously. 'Then, tell me, what's the problem?'

Taichi looked at him for a moment, and then sighed. 'Nothing,' he said. 'Look…you know, I think I should go. I'm—'

'Please stay,' Yamato cut across, his eyes wide and pleading.

Taichi resolve melted in an instant. 'Oh, all right then,' he said heavily, 'if it means that much to you.' Then he suddenly smiled cheekily. "But only if we can order pizza."

Yamato rolled his eyes affectionately. 'You're such an ass.'

So Yamato ordered pizza (one with every topping available because Taichi's an indecisive git) and when it arrived, soggy and slightly over-cooked an hour later, they crashed out on the sofa-bed and watched re-runs of 'The Simpsons' in a contented silence. The rain lashed against the windows, thunder rolled overhead and the fairy-lights winked away festively. The apartment had never felt so homely.

Taichi sighed contentedly and hugged his pillow tighter. He couldn't remember the last time it was just him and Yamato hanging out like this. No Aren or Sora or Mime to contend with – just he and Yamato, food, telly, enjoying each others company.

Taichi crept closer to Yamato in search of comfort. He was afraid he might disappear. Yamato's head lolled onto his shoulder.

'I've missed you,' Taichi found himself saying.

Yamato swallowed. 'I've missed you – us,' he said.

They lapsed into silence then, the television flickered quite unnoticed, and then Yamato said softly, 'I'm sorry.'

Taichi furrowed his brow, 'why?'

'For dumping you,' he said. 'I've been so wrapped up in Aren recently I've completely neglected you. I'm sorry.'

Taichi smiled slightly. 'It's OK – lets just try and hang out more from now on, OK?'

Yamato nodded readily, and then after a moment, he hugged Taichi tightly.

Taichi laughed, confused – Yamato was never one to encourage physical contact. 'Hey! Hey!' he said playfully, 'quit strangling me!'

Yamato pulled away slightly. 'Sorry.'

It was then Taichi noticed how close Yamato was. Their faces were merrily inches apart. Suddenly, the air was crackling between them, stronger than before, and then Yamato licked his lips and was leaning forward, his eyes slipping shut. Taichi could feel his trousers tightening around his crotch, a pleasant warm sensation surging through his body...

What the hell do you think you're doing? A voice suddenly snarled in Taichi's head. Matt is going to….he's going to kiss you! Your male best friend is going to kiss you!

Then – WHAM!

The realisation sank in. Taichi jerked away. Yamato backed off instantly and cleared his throat, a rose-red staining his cheeks.

'Er…yea…I think I'm kinda tired now,' he mumbled after a few moments of awkwardness. Not able to look at Taichi, he crawled under the cover and flicked off the television.

'Yea…yea…me too,' Taichi spluttered, getting under the cover, too. 'Night.'

In the darkness, Taichi's mind was reeling. He couldn't use the excuse Yamato looked like a girl anymore…

Sora and Mime were looking very festive on the night of their Christmas party. They'd tied tinsel in their hair and were wearing cute little elf outfits that barely cover their bums. They beamed at him as they opened the door and kissed him both on the cheek.

'Happy Christmas, Taichi!' Mime yelled giddily, as he crossed the threshold and placed his coat in Sora's waiting hands. 'Oh, aren't you looking adorable, Tai? Where did you get that top from? And what have you done to your hair? It looks so cute!'

They clucked and fussed over him for a little while longer, tugging at his clothes and hair, and then the doorbell chimed and they dashed off cheerily, both racing to get to the door first.

Taichi laughed fondly as the two squabbled for the door, and then wandered into the main room where an impromptu mosh pit had formed and many people he recognised were head banging vigorously to the bass on the track playing.

Yamato and Aren were already there, Taichi noted. They were stood next to the fireplace, and looked to be having a good time, laughing and chatting merrily as they slurped at their drinks. Yamato was already drunk, Taichi could tell. His eyes were misted over and he looked unsteady on his feet as he clutched at the fire mantle.

Taichi ambled over to them, deciding to be amicable.

'Hey Matt,' he greeted pleasantly.

'Tai!' Yamato cried cheerily, throwing his arms around Taichi's neck. 'How do? I've haven't seen you for ages!'

It was true, after the other night a few weeks ago, they'd only seen each other in passing. In truth, Taichi was avoiding him.

'I'm OK, Matt,' he said, patting him on the back awkwardly. Taichi glanced at Aren over Yamato's shoulder who smiled politely. 'Having a good time?'

Yamato pulled away from him. 'Yea, I'm having a great time! Oh, you know Aren right?' he said, gesturing towards the brunette.

'Yea,' Taichi said bluntly. 'We've met before.'

'Hello,' Aren said with a polite nod. 'How are you, Taichi?'

'Swell,' he said sarcastically. 'Yourself?'

'I'm good , thanks,' he said.

Then, suddenly, Yamato flung his arms around Aren and Taichi's shoulders and laughed joyously. 'Aw, man, isn't this great? My two bestest buds getting on like a house on fire!'

Taichi forced a smile.

Aren laughed lightly. 'Yea…have you got a drink yet, Taichi?'

Taichi shook his head. 'Not yet.'

'Well, as I'm off for a top up, you want me to get you one?'

Taichi frowned slightly. 'Er – yea, sure. Thanks.'

Untangling himself from Yamato with a smile, Aren bustled off.

It was sort of awkward between the pair then. They chatted about the weather and school and Sora and Mime's party, and then Yamato complained the room was spinning.

'Awwww, man, I think I'm gunna puke,' he complained, swaying slightly on the spot.

Taichi slipped his arm around Yamato's waist to steady him. 'Woo! Steady up!'

Yamato jerked slightly, his chest heaving. 'Oh God…I feel so sick…'

'OK! OK!' Taichi said quickly. 'Lets get you to the toilet!'

Staggering along, Taichi hauled Yamato to the nearest bathroom he knew to be under the stairs, and rubbed Yamato's back comfortingly as he heaved into the toilet he was hunched over.

'That's it, get it all out,' Taichi said quite pointlessly, 'you'll feel better after.'

Five minutes later, Yamato was leant against the wall bathroom massaging his temples.

'Aw, man, my head's killing me,' he groaned. 'Got any paracetemol?'

'Not on me, want me to go get some?'

'No,' he said sharply, 'I want you to stay with me. Here. I don't want you to run away again…'

Taichi frowned slightly. 'What do you mean by that?'

'Nothing,' Yamato said quickly, looking away.

Taichi's frown deepened. Slipping his hand under Yamato's chin, he turned his head to face him. 'No, Matt, what d'you mean by that?'

Yamato tried to squirm from his grip, he wouldn't meet Taichi's eyes, but Taichi tightened his hold. Then, suddenly, tears were rolling down Yamato's face.

'Matt?' Taichi murmured, baffled. 'Why…why are you crying?'

Yamato gave a jerky snivel. More tears streamed down his face, and then, he was sobbing outright.

'Oh, Matt,' Taichi sighed, and he did the only thing he could think of. He gathered Yamato in his arms and hugged him.

They stayed that way long after Yamato had stopped crying. Taichi, though ashamed to admit it, enjoyed feeling Yamato so close to him – his body tingled in delight – and he pulled him closer and closer. Yamato snuggled into his chest. Then, the next minute, they were staring into each other's eyes. Yamato had glanced up, his face red and tear-stained, was so close to Taichi's.

He was stretching up…getting closer and closer…

The air around them was alive. Taichi almost felt faint.

His lips parted slightly…Yamato was so close now their noses were touching…he could feel his breath on his lips…so, so close…

At that moment, someone cleared their throat loudly. They jerked away from each other like repelling magnets.

'Yamato?' Aren said questioningly, his eyebrow rose.

Outside the air was cool and refreshing, and Taichi inhaled deeply, enjoying the sensation. He slumped against the wall and let his eyes slide shut.

What had just happened between him and Yamato just then? That feeling…just like the other night…what was going on?

Then, suddenly, Taichi heard familiars voice drawing closer. His eyes snapped open.

'This isn't what I want,' the panicked voice came, 'I don't—'

Taichi narrowed his eyes in confusion and shifted his position so he could see the owner of the voice. There were two shadowy figures were approaching him, which Taichi instantly recognised as Aren and Yamato, standing a few meters from him.

'Shush!' Aren soothed, coming to a halt and pressing a finger against Yamato's lips. 'Maybe, maybe not, but this isn't about what you want, it's about what you need. You need this, Matt, you may not know it yet, but you really do.'

Taichi didn't understand what Aren was on about, and, it seemed by the look on his face, nor did Yamato.

A few moments of silence passed, and then Yamato spoke, 'Is this what you want?'

'No,' Aren said quietly. 'It's not what I want at all. I love you, Matt, and I — god this is hard,' he trailed off with a quivering sigh. After a second, he swallowed deeply and continued, 'But I can't…I can't be second best anymore, Matt, it's breaking my heart. Everyday I watch you pining for Taichi. You want him so much and I know he wants you just as badly…I can't do it…I just…I can't…'

There was a silence for a second, and then Yamato whimpered, 'But I love you…'

'No,' Aren said firmly, shaking his head. His wet cheeks glistened in the moonlight. 'No, you don't…I believe you care for me a great deal, but not love me. You don't love me, Matt. You're in love with Taichi.'

'But – !'

'Just stop it, Matt!' Aren cried in a sudden bout of frustration. 'Stop denying it! Stop denying it to yourself! You've come this far…I'm so proud of you, I really am…now take the next step, Matt! Go to him…go now and tell him how you feel!'

Yamato didn't move. His face was set in disbelief.

Aren was breathing heavily. 'Matt? Did you hear me? Did you hear what I said?' he shrieked, his voice creaking with emotion. 'Go to him! Go now! Tell him that you love him, that you want him – for fuck sake, Matt, just go! GO!'

And with that, Aren thrust him roughly in the chest. Shaking his head, Yamato stumbled backwards, and then after a heart-rending wail of sorrow, he turned on his heel and fled into the house.

Taichi stood in the shadows for a very long time after that, not quite believing what'd just happened, what he'd just overheard…

Taichi left the party early. He needed to get away, think. Walking through central Odaiba, passing heavily drunk folk singing Christmas tunes at the top of there voices and beggars with outstretched hands, all he could think about was Yamato.

Yamato. Yamato. Yamato.

'…You don't love me, Matt. You're in love with Taichi.'

What was all that about? Yamato…Yamato loved him? He hadn't denied it when Aren had said it either…

He didn't love Yamato back, he wasn't gay…but…but what about those times? The times where the air was alive and cracking with electricity and his heart was pumping and he was so turned on he wanted to explode. What did that mean? Did that mean he was gay? Or was it hormones? After all, Yamato did look like very feminine…

Taichi was confused. What did it all mean? What did it mean to their friendship?

And then, as though fate had planned it, as he rounded the corner of the road he spotted a familiar blonde-haired boy huddled up one of the benches a little way from him. Yamato.

Taichi came to a stop in front of him. 'Matt?'

Yamato's head shot up. His eyes were red and bloodshot, and tears were on his cheeks. He quickly got to his feet and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hands.

'Er…hey Tai…'

There was an awkward silence – any other time, Taichi would readily comfort Yamato, but now…now it was different…

Somewhere in the distance a car beeped. Somewhere else, someone laughed shrilly.

Yamato sniffed. 'Aren dumped me,' he said bluntly, after a few minutes.

Taichi smiled sadly, already knowing this, and patted his shoulder comfortingly. 'I'm sorry, Matt.'

Yamato shook his head. 'Don't be,' he said, there was a pause, and then he added quietly, 'I'm not.'

Taichi didn't really know what to say after that, but Yamato elaborated, 'you see, I've come to realise something,' he continued, 'and Aren's helped me realise it…'

Taichi's heart was beating in his ears – he knew what was coming next.

'…You don't love me, Matt. You're in love with Taichi.'

He didn't know if he wanted to hear this, but he said anyway, his voice cracking slightly, 'yea?'

'Yea.' Yamato nodded. 'It's about you actually…'

Taichi's mouth had gone dry. He didn't say anything. He shuffled his feet.

'Yea,' Yamato repeated. 'I've come to realise something about you…well, us actually…'

'Hmm?'

Yamato rubbed the nape of his neck briskly and looked away shyly. 'Yea…but…I dunno…I don't know how to say it…'

Taichi closed his eyes. A part of him wanted to hear it, hear it from his own mouth, and another part of him didn't, he didn't want to deal with it…

'What are you trying to tell me, Matt?' Taichi prompted, despite the situation, he couldn't stand seeing Yamato in such a state.

Yamato was silent for a minute, then he blurted out in a rush, 'I'm in love with you.'

He lowered his eyes instantly, blushing.

Taichi remained silent. He didn't know what to say or do.

After a few minutes of silence, Yamato glanced up. 'Aren't you…aren't you going to say anything?'

'You - you don't feel like that for me,' Taichi said, shaking his head in disbelief. Even though he knew this already, hearing it from Yamato's mouth seemed to make everything seem real. And, in all, Taichi was scared. 'It's just a phase…your hormones or something,' he spluttered, 'Matt, you love Aren.'

'No I don't,' Yamato said firmly. 'I thought I did, I really did, but I just don't feel half as strongly for him as I do for you, Tai.' He suddenly stepped forward and cupped Taichi's cheek in an affectionate manner. 'I love you, Tai, I really do and it feels so right…so strong…' There were a few moments silence in which Yamato's thumb traced Taichi's cheek softly, and then Yamato continued, 'God, you're so beautiful, Tai…and so funny and loving...you're my best friend…'

Yamato trailed off.

Taichi was silent for a moment. His mind was whizzing uncontrollably. 'But that's all we are as far as I'm concerned, Matt: just friends,' he said slowly, backing away so Yamato's hand slid off his face. 'And you, you're just on the rebound. You're confused and hurt and mistaking our friendship for something else...'

'No I'm not, Tai!' Yamato snapped, getting annoyed, 'Stop trying to tell me how I feel! Look, I'm not trying to get you to say it back or anything, I just want to tell you how I feel, I need to tell you how I feel… '

'Well stop it!' Taichi yelled, 'I don't want to hear it!'

'Why? Why don't you want to hear it, Tai?' Yamato shrieked back. 'I thought my sexuality didn't offend you!'

Taichi shook his head. 'Oh don't be stupid, that's not it!'

'Then what is it?'

'You're…you're Matt! You're my best friend….you're not suppose to have feelings like this for me…it's just, it's just not right!'

Yamato's eyes bore into his for a few moments, as though he was reading his mind, then they flashed, as though he'd finally figured something out, as though everything was clear.

'You're scared,' Yamato said slowly, 'you're scared to admit you have feelings for me too…'

Taichi's jaw nearly hit the floor. 'WHAT?!'

'Yea, you have feelings for me too…Aren was right…'

'No I don't! I'm not gay!'

'It's why you've been avoiding me –'

'I haven't, it's you! You've been up spending all your time with Aren!'

' – And why you're so eaten up with jealousy…'

'Oh, what bull,' Taichi dismissed.

'Yea? Is it really?' Yamato said, 'Well prove it to me. Let me kiss you.'

Taichi froze, his eyes widening. Yamato stepped forward so their faces were so close, Taichi could see the flecks of green in Yamato's eyes and smell the alcohol on his breath.

'If you don't have any feelings for me then you won't feel anything,' Yamato said quietly. Then, he tilted his head hesitantly and brushed his lips ever so gently against Taichi's, and then, suddenly, he was kissing him full on.

Taichi's heart gave an almighty jolt of exhilaration and a fiery, tingling sensation surged through his body in a great spasm, but just as Taichi began to melt into the kiss, Yamato pulled away abruptly.

Taichi slid open his eyes and met Yamato's gaze tentatively – he looked scared and confused, but lustful all the same. Yamato licked his trembling lips slowly, as though savouring the taste of him. Taichi thought it was a rather seductive gesture. He felt a pang of longing.

Dammit, Matt! His mind screamed, suddenly feeling very frustrated; Stop it! Stop making me feel like this…this isn't right! You're a boy, I'm a boy…we shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be feeling like this for you…I shouldn't want you like this…

And then, Yamato was stepping away from him, looking very flustered. Taichi felt a rush of annoyance.

Oh no you don't!His mind growled. No, Matt! This isn't fair. You can't start something and not finish it—that wasn't even a proper kiss! You can't make me want you and then run away…I want more…God dammit, Matt, I want you!

Taichi had never felt like this before. He'd never wanted anyone like this before in his life…not Sora or Rikku or any other girl for that matter. And it was on this whim of emotion that Taichi did something he suddenly realised he'd wanted to do for a very long time. Stepping forward, he cupped Yamato's face and crushed his lips against Yamato's. It took Yamato a good several seconds before he slipped his arms around Taichi's neck and pulled him closer, and kissed back with a passionate, needy sort of intensity that made Taichi's heart flutter. Their lips parted and the kiss deepened until Taichi was so lost in the warmth and lust that he couldn't hear the cars racing pass or the cold wind sidling up his shirt…

Nothing had ever felt so right, so true…

And then, suddenly, something snapped in his brain. What the hell do you think you're doing? Kissing Matt? Kissing your best friend—male best friend? This is wrong. Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Taichi jerked away, instantly clasping a hand to his mouth. Oh my god, I just kissed a guy and enjoyed it. Oh my God! Fag! Fag! Fag!

A sudden bout of anger surged through Taichi and he balled his fists. He was angry at himself, angry at Yamato – he was angry at everything! Angry and confused…

Yamato bit his lip. 'T – Tai…?' he whispered huskily.

'Y-you shouldn't have done that,' Taichi said breathlessly; his voice didn't sound right at all. 'You really, really shouldn't have done that…'

Yamato swallowed and reached out to touch Taichi – he looked a right state, standing there, his face an array of confusion, hurt, fear, and lust – but Taichi smacked his hand away forcefully.

'Don't touch me!' he barked, 'Don't fucking touch me!'

Yamato's eyes flashed as Taichi's words stung. He bit his lip. 'Tai, I -- I'm scared too, but don't deny it, Tai…you felt it, too, I know you did, just then…please don't deny your feelings for me –'

'I don't have any feelings for you!' Taichi yelled.

Yamato was beginning to lose his patience. 'Yes you do! Stop denying it! I know you felt it, too!'

'No, I fucking didn't!' Taichi's face was beet-red with fury. 'I don't know what you're on about!'

'Tai!'

'Just shut up!' Taichi snapped. 'The only feeling I have for you Matt is hatred! I fucking hate you, Matt! I fucking hate your guts!' And then he was off on a rant, screaming at the top of his voice, 'I fucking hate you! I fucking hate you! I fucking hate you! I fucking…hate…you…I hate you…I…hate...you…'

Taichi trailed off, his voice nothing more than a weak whimper now. Tears were streaming down his face and dribbling off his chin. He wiped them away with the sleeve of his shirt hastily. Yamato stepped forward, his eyes glistening, but Taichi backed away.

'Get away from me, you – you twisted mother fuck! Piss off! I don't want you anywhere near me, you hear that? Keep away from me! Keep away from me!'

'Tai…' Yamato whispered. 'Please don't do this, please…I love you – I always have. I can't deny these feelings for you anymore…please, don't do this, Tai…'

Taichi slammed his hands against his ears. 'Shut up! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!' Yamato pulled at his hands, but Taichi wriggled from his grip. 'How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone, fag? Just piss off!'

And with that, Taichi pushed passed him and dashed across the street.

'Tai!'

Taichi didn't see what happened exactly. One moment he was running with Yamato at his heels, and then the next, there was a screech of tires behind him, a cry of surprise and then – THUMP! CRACK! Then the sound of a car horn and people screaming.

Taichi jerked to a halt, his blood running cold. For a second, he couldn't move, he couldn't breath, and then he whipped round on his heels.

He couldn't quite believe his eyes. Yamato…he was…he was sprawled across the road, not moving, blood seeping out from under him. A dented car stood a few metres from Yamato, the driver slumped over the steering wheel, unconscious. A surge of people was gathering round to help, all looking worried and flustered.

Taichi's heart jolted into his throat: YAMATO!

In a flash, Taichi had pushed through the throng of people and was by Yamato's side, hunched over him.

'Matt?! Matt?!'

He didn't know what to do. Yamato…he wouldn't wake up and there was blood – so much blood!

'Cover him over! Keep him warm!' someone above him was saying.

'Quick! Someone phone an ambulance!'

'Oh my God!'

'Is he breathing?'

Taichi couldn't think – everything was happening so fast. So many voices, so much to take in. Someone handed his a green duffle coat and he quickly covered Yamato over, and then a gangly, silver-haired man appeared from nowhere and checked Yamato's pulse.

Taichi held his breath: what if…?

The silver-haired man seemed to be having trouble finding a pulse.

Taichi's heart plummeted. Oh no…Oh God, please no…

And then, suddenly, the silver-haired man gave a weak sigh of relief. 'Oh thank god…he's alive, but only just. We need to get to him hospital quickly.'

And, as if on cue, the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

Now, staring at the blonde, everything became clearer to Taichi. He finally understood. Yes, Yamato was right, he'd been scared. All along he'd had feelings for Yamato, much more than platonic ones, but he'd never wanted to admit them to himself, using every excuse he could think of to deny them– Yamato looked like a girl, he acted one, or that he hadn't had a good shag for a while and was sexually frustrated…

But now, he understood. He'd been attracted to Yamato the whole time. He wanted him, everyway, both physically and mentally, through the good and bad…

But it seemed Taichi's realisation had come too late.

Yamato's breathing was low and irregular, and there was a deep-sounding rattle coming from the back of his throat. The beeping from the monitor was becoming erratic.

Takeru was panicking. 'Oh my God, what's happening? Nurse! Nurse!' he shouted down the ward. 'It's Matt!'

A swarm of people emerged from nowhere, and suddenly, Taichi was being ushered to the side by a frantic looking nurse.

Taichi stood in a trance-like state at the sidelines, watching the nurses and doctors at work. Yamato was being undressed – pads were being stuck to his chest, needles injected into his arm…

Everything seemed to be happening in slow-motion. The Doctor's and Nurse's voices faded into a distant murmur, and all Taichi could hear was his own rapid heartbeat pounding in his ears.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Yamato…he was…he was…

Then, suddenly, everything stopped. The medical team were backing away, there faces mournful.

'There's nothing we can do anymore,' someone said.

…There's nothing we can do…there's nothing we can do…

'What d'you mean, there's nothing you can do?!' Takeru roared hysterically. Tears gushed down his cheeks, and he was trembling from head to foot.

'I'm sorry.'

But that wasn't good enough for Takeru. He let out a cry of desperation and started thumping the red-haired Doctor with his fists. 'Do something! Don't just stand there, do something!'

Someone pulled Takeru off the Doctor, but Taichi vaguely noticed. His attention was on Yamato, who was gasping deeply for breath. The rattling was so loud, so violent…

Taichi pushed his way through the crowd and collapsed at Yamato's side.

'Oh, Matt…oh God, I'm so so sorry, this is all my fault,' he blabbered, overcome with emotion, 'Oh God, what have I done? I'm so sorry…I don't hate you, Matt…oh God, I'm just so sorry…'

Takeru appeared at Yamato's other side. 'Matt?! Oh please no…this can't be happening…'

He collapsed on top of him then, hugging him tightly. 'Oh Matt, please, no, not like this…'

The rattle had reached a climax. This looked to be it.

Taichi's heart missed a beat. 'I love you,' he whispered into Yamato's ear, tears spilling from his eyes, 'as always, for always…'

And, with a last rattle, Yamato was gone.

END OF AS ALWAYS, FOR ALWAYS.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Cheese Alert!!! :P

Hehe, anyway, thank God that's done – it was driving me mental! I've been working on it, on and off, for a few months now, and basically, I'm bored with it. It doesn't make sense to me anymore! It started off as a short story, but then turned out to be, like, not so short. I think I should chapter it maybe, to make it easier to read, but oh well, can't be arse right this second. (It's four o'clock in the morning!)

Anyway, please review – constructive critismes are welcome, but not random flames, because they're really pointless and both a waste of your and my time.

Oh, and by the way, this hasn't been beta-read yet – my sister's away for a few days, so I apologise now for any mistakes and whatnot.

Oh, and another thing – just one more! For those of you who are waiting for updates on my other stories, I'm going to apologise now for the delay. I have a vague idea what I'm going to write for, 'Through the Eyes of a Fallen Angel', but, 'Like A Stone', that was just a writing exercise. So far, a plot doesn't exist. Besides, I think I'm going to write a squeal to this maybe, and I have another fic I'm working on.

Hehe, I'm gunna shut up now – please review!