Dipper Goes To McDonalds.
Written for a friend called Natasha, ayyyy happy birthday Ah Satan (Natasha spelt backward ;P). For those who believe this is a reference to Dipper goes to taco bell, it kind of is although I strongly believe this is what would happen if Dipper went to McDonalds.
Enjoy, love Diablo
It was quite a normal day, Mabel was going on with her casual nonsense while Dipper was studying hard for his journey as he got a new one, wanted to fill it with the beautiful treasures of Gravity falls Oregon. Anyway as Mabel was making her new sweater she drew a strange object, she doesn't know where she found it so with a sign Dipper took a look. "Where have I seen this before?" he asked as his eyes ran over the two golden arches. "Hey dipstick want to go look around while I finish this sweater?" Mabel asked politely, when in fact she was just as curious as he was.
So here we are, Dipper has found the jackpot, the golden arches, and well done Dipper you deserve a pat on the back. But wait, what's this? The smell of fatty fries sends Dipper over board… He wants some. As Dipper strolls into the greasy fast food restaurant something catches his eye, but he just shrugs it off. He looks around and talks to himself, seems fairly packed, and by packed I mean only three people here. "One Large Big Mac with the drink a frozen coke" he demands the cashier, that'll be 18 dollars sir". Shitty Shit Shit Dipper only brought 10 dollars, he smiles awkwardly as he hands the cashier the money that is 8 dollars short.
"Oh my, heh I'm sure we can work something out lil man." Now dipper is just creeped out, but boy does he want that greasy goodness. "What do you mean?" Dipper is almost shitting himself but he holds off, "Don't worry". Dipper hears a ding, finally his food is here, he goes out to reach it his hand is caught by the creepy cashier, he shrugs it off. He walks back and takes a seat in a booth, he starts munching on his fries when a strange clown sits down next to him "hehahaheh Say young man, what's your name hmmm". Dipper loses it he throws fries at the clown and next thing that happens Dipper pulls the clown's pants down, now you're probably thinking, eww Dipper wtf you doing that for, yea well Kapow, Dipper chucks his frozen coke down the clowns pants. "You deserve that creep."
Dipper smirks a sinister smirk as he thinks of a sinister thought. "You know what else you deserve shit-head?". The clown frowns, "This" Dipper goes from innocent teen to sinister psychopath, his parents are probably thinking wtf happened to him, lets say Ford did something regrettable, that's for another sad story.
So where were we? Ah yes, Dipper was about to shove a you know what up the clowns you know where, and by you know what I mean a big mac and by you know where I mean his booty hole. "Your such a creep I hate you clown" And then ohhhh myyy godddd, the greasy burger slide right up there, right up his booty hole, now honesty either Dipper is a psychopath or he is into some real freaky shit. "How do you like that creep?" Dipper says just as he runs to the door, he smiles as he opens it… His smile fades as he realises its closed, ahh poop.
Not to worry he just has to go through a series of questions to get the key. And here my dear readers and Satan this is where shit breaks lose not that it could get any worse. Dipper looks nervously at the quiz, oh no it's a fangirl quiz. Dipper frowns. He sees the title. Will Dipper like you? Oh Hell no he doesn't have time for this doodoo. He gets out his brown faded lighter and burns the quiz. A magical golden key with two arches on the top of it appears, and then Dipper run away like the pussy he is.
-Fin-