*WARNING:* MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.
Relationships: Raven/Seris, Raven/Rena
Hello! This is a very short write of angsty and insane Raven. I hope you all enjoy it.
'Lately I been, I been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars...'
Some things should remain in the past; no matter how hard you try to strive for it, it isn't just the same. You tried to remember all the small details, you tried to remember her smile, her eyes which held nothing but love and bravery. For some reason there is a fog that clouds your vision, you tried your best to claw through it. But it was futile, all it comes up is a blurry image.
"We want to help you."
You didn't know to either snort at the statement or laugh. You just chose to just laugh bitterly, you knew those words were filled with nothing but lies, illusions. It was just another way for you to just run away.
Sadly you fell for it, you believed it all, you ate it up hungrily. You felt ashamed of yourself, but you couldn't stop. It was an addiction, you know it is unhealthy but you just continue to do it because you knew well that you are a coward. They look at you with eyes of pity, and you just turn a blind eye because you didn't need their pity. They know nothing about how you feel or the poison in your mind. Deep inside you know that you can not be helped anymore, you're too deep in.
Slowly and so desperately you scratch for the truth. You just want to see her again, you slowly lose your mind. This frustration, why can't you see her? Why is she so close yet so far away from you? A yell of frustration came out, hot tears spill as you try to dream of the things that you two could've been. You continue to lie to yourself, lies, lies and more lies.
"Why?"
Because the things that kills you makes you feel alive. You watch everything burn, you watch your sanity, your friends, and her burn away by those hungry flames. You have nothing to lose now, so why should you be worried right now? You just let the flames burn it all away, you let those insatiable flames engulf everything that you know.
It's okay, you don't mind because the pain is nothing but a dull ache now. It doesn't hurt and it's addicting. You can't help it anymore, an insatiable pain had taken over your senses. You feel so right doing the wrong thing, it's that simple, there is no more plain black or white. You were just a naive person and now you're paying for all those childish wishes and thoughts you had. Sing it all, let it all burn, you watch it all burn away. You laugh as it burn, those beautiful flames eating everything.
You've been praying hard, you prayed for her, you prayed for forgiveness and you prayed for something. But in the end you just yell in frustration because you know that the hope you wish so badly for is just going to be burnt away by those flames. Once again you don't mind because you have lost hope a long time again.
You hate the colour white, you hate it with your heart. Red is the new white, and red was the colour that dyed her. It's okay. Because you've been praying hard so that you can count the stars.
"Raven."
You are drowning, you let yourself drown in this river. You are just doing what you are being told to do. You are doing the right thing, and you couldn't lie because everything that drowns you makes you fly. You enjoy this, it relieves the pain, you could see her again, you could hear her calling for you. But you question yourself, tears roll down as he claw for help. Wasn't this your wish? Weren't you wishing for what you and her could've been? But no, sorrow fill you up and you are choking on it. You tried to gasp for air but you can't, you looked to your right and then to your left, nothing. You are all alone gasping for air, you clawed the water, you kicked your feet to reach the surface. But a hand held you down, you scream as you kicked furiously, water soon fill up your mouth and drowning you slowly.
You sat up gasping, fresh cold air filled your lungs. What you didn't expect is to see her, standing in front of you. A small kind smile was on her face, and her eyes were filled with nothing but love. You reached out to hold her, you want to feel her skin, you want to hold her and never let her go again.
"Raven."
You lost her, you lost her again. There she lies in a bed of rue, you held her tight as you yell at the sky. You hate the world, you hate fate and you hate the so called Gods. You want to burn everything down, you want everyone to suffer the same pain as you do. But all you can do is just kneel at her side and cry, her usually warm and gentle hands are cold and deathly pale. You ask yourself how could you lose her once again?
The answer is simple. Because the one that killed her was yourself.
"Here lies the lovely Angel in her bed of rue, O herb-of-grace. May the euphrasies wake her beloved back."
Lyrics: Counting Stars - OneRepublic