Title: Seras loves her Master

Rated: M (Sexual content, some cussing)

A/N: Okay, for starters, what I'm going for in this fanfic is that I'm trying to make the most random, ridiculous, terrible, Fanfiction ever, while still trying to give out some laughs. Everyone is so out of character, and I'm going to be making a few movie references as well. This isn't to be taken seriously at all! I'm just writing this because I've had the idea a while back… (Yes, my mind is filled with this kind of stuff!) So just enjoy this ridiculous nonsense. (:

12:30PM– Alucard's room

All that could be heard in a dark room was frequent bumping, and a sliding noise. Alucard was on his hands and knees getting thoroughly fucked by someone, and he loved it! He couldn't remember the last time he was fucked so hard by another person, actually, the person fucking him wasn't a person at all, it was a vampire. But not some random vampire, it was his very own fledgling Seras Victoria!

"How do you like that Master?" Seras said while sliding in even harder and deeper than before, basically making Alucard's head hit the head of the coffin.

"That's way to fucking hard police girl!" Alucard barked at her turning his head to look at her. "Kick it down a freakin' notch!"

Seras's response was her sliding her hand under Alucard's white dress shirt and grabbing hold of Alucard's nipple and giving it a nice hard tug.

"Shit, stop that!" Alucard gasped, and then quickly furrowed his brows in irritation. "You know you like it Master, now lemme hear ya squeal like a pig gettin its head chopped off!"

Alucard instead grabbed hold of the purple dildo super glued to Seras's pubes that was being used to penetrate his anus. "Be slower or I'll rip your fucking pubes off bitch!" Alucard hissed tugging the 8 inch dildo.

"B-but Master, I love being (Life is) Ruff!" the police girl said, instead tried to continue humping the vampire like a Chihuahua humping a leg.

"That's it you stupid ass police girl!" in seconds he ripped off Seras's blonde pubes, leaving a patch of red irritated skin on her crotch. He laughed from seeing how funny her crotch looked now! It only had one small hair left on her lower area. Alucard threw the purple dildo with hairs and arousal juice still on it to the floor beside his coffin.

"Master, this fukkin hurts!" the blonde said trying to soothe the glowing red skin, with made it feel way worse!

"Well, don't use me like I'm a freaking sex toy!" Alucard yelled standing from his coffin, fixing his clothing.

"B-but Master, I was just tryin to-"

"Enough police girl, now leave my room" Alucard said pushing the half naked police girl out, along with her garments.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Seras said with some hope in her voice.

Her answer was the door slammed in her face, pushing her to the floor. "But MAAAAAAAASTER!" she yelled knocking on the door. 'Master is playing hard to get, so I just need to pay even more attention to him than I already am! It'll definitely work; you're a genius Seras Victoria!'

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day

Alucard was sitting at a table, drinking medical blood from a bowl and spoon, then all of a sudden he heard someone enter the room, it was that freaking police girl!

"Ugh… you're here" he said under his breath, hoping she wouldn't hear him. "Yes Master, pip, pip, cheerio!" she said cheerfully going near him.

"Please, just get away from me, I'm not in the mood for your nonsense today you dumb police girl." Alucard said taking in a spoonful of blood, hoping she was smart enough to get the message.

"Master, do you like flowers?"

"What are you going on about now?" Alucard said getting more annoyed every second she was in his presence and asking him stupid questions.

"Do you like chocolates!?" Well do you!?" Seras yelled trying to get more of Alucard's attention. "I'm just going to pretend you're not here right now."Alucard said trying to continue his meal.

"Master, I have the dildo you pulled off of me yesterday night, and I added some stuff to it for yooou!" she said pulling it from her bra compartment. "Take a look!" She said slamming it to the table, causing his bowl of blood to fall over.

"Oops, I'm so surry Master," the Draculina yelped trying to clean it up with her gloved hand. "But take a look at what I did to our dildo, I named him Geraldo!"

When Aluard glanced at the purple dildo it had an outfit on! It had two small googly eyes, and a mustache and afro made out of Seras's pubes… and it even had a basketball jersey on. What's next, it's going to talk?!

Alucard was just sitting in his seat speechless, for both his spilled meal and the weird thing sitting in front of him. "Master, is there somethin the mattuh?"

Alucard gave her a "really bitch, really?" look.

"Are you angry because I spilled the blood?" she said confused scratching her head. (Chris Brander: light bulb there you go) "Master, pleaz answer meh!"

Alucard just kept sitting in his chair, thinking if he should kill Seras here and now, I mean it would make things way easier for him, she's a stubborn fledgling, she refuses to drink blood, she talks a lot, and she's kind of weird. So without a second thought he reached into his coat and grabbed his casull gun and aimed it for Seras's head.

"Master, what're ya doin!?" Seras cried staring at the gun.

"I'm gonna shoot you because you freak me out and that's saying something, so goodbye, Seras Victoria."

"But Master, I think you're your puckered anus is Kawaii!" She said, thinking her compliment would make him reconsider.

"No it isn't b-baka!" Alucard squealed blushing, but in his tsudere moment he triggered the gun.

*BANG*

He shot her clean in the neck, making her head come off and drop on the floor.

"Eek!" Alucard screeched surprised. "I didn't mean to kill you police girl, so, get up! The tall vampire said waiting for her response.

"Fine, be that way…..bitch" Alucad said sassing out of the room.

….

Seras Victoria's body was on the floor, more dead than she already was, until…..SHE BLINKED!