Rules for Dating Lily Evans
Disclaimer: The characters, places, etc. all belong to J. K. Rowling, not me. I did, however, think of the story all by myself.
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It was a quiet afternoon in the Evans household. Until... "AAAAAAHHHHH!"
"IRIS!" Petunia Evans came running down the stairs, shrieking at the top of her lungs. Close behind her was a large owl and a red-headed seventeen year old witch by the name of Lily Evans. "Iris, come back here!" Lily yelled at her pet owl, desperately trying (and failing) to recapture it.
"Get it off me! Get it off me!" Petunia yelled, running into the kitchen.
"Calm down! Just stand still and I'll get her," Lily said, exasperated at her older sister's antics. Petunia calmed down enough for Lily to recapture her owl.
"You freak! You're back from school and in less than one day you set that thing on me!" Petunia screamed.
"I did not! It was an accident!"
"I bet even the other freaks think you're weird!" she shouted, now just taking a chance to make fun of her sister.
"Be quiet Petunia!"
"No wonder you're such a loser! You can't even get a date with one of those freakish people at that horrid school you go to!"
"At least I'm not dating a disgusting pig!"
"At least I actually have a boyfriend, unlike you! You couldn't get a boyfriend if you tried!"
"Shows how much you know!" Lily shouted at her sister. "I happen to have a boyfriend right now! He's amazing, much better than your boyfriend!"
"Oh yeah? What's his name?" Petunia asked, not believing that her younger sister had gotten a real boy to go out with her.
"His name," Lily said, "Is James Potter."
"I bet you just made him up."
"I did not!"
"Really? Well then, why don't you invite him to dinner this Friday? I'm sure Mum and Dad would love to meet him."
"Shouldn't you ask them first?" Lily said, a little uncomfortable with the idea.
"MUM!" Petunia shouted.
"What on Earth are you shouting for Petunia?" Mrs. Evans asked, walking into the room.
"I was just thinking, wouldn't it be lovely if Lily were to invite her boyfriend to dinner this Friday?"
"Well that would be nice. Lily, I didn't know you had a boyfriend. I can't wait to meet him."
"I'll ask him to come at seven," Lily said, forcing a smile. "In fact, I'll send him an owl right now." Lily took her owl with her to her bedroom.
"What am I going to do?" she said out loud once her door was closed. The only response she got was a hoot from Iris
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"I'm bored."
"Sirius, you've been saying that for an hour ."
"And yet, you've done nothing to make me less bored." James simply sighed at his best friend. "We should have stayed at Hogwarts. At least Moony's there."
"No," James replied. "He had to visit his uncle out in the countryside."
"Oh. Well, at least Wormtail's there."
"At his grandmother's for the holidays."
"Right, I forgot." Sirius thought for a moment. "Do we really not have any other friends?"
The boys were distracted by a tapping at the window. "I don't recognize that owl," James said as he opened the window. Sirius looked over curiously as James began to read the letter it had brought. "Holy shit," James said in shock.
"What? What is it?" Sirius grabbed the letter from him and started to read. "Holy shit."
"I know."
"But how did this...?"
"I don't know."
"And why did she..."
"I don't know."
"Well," Sirius said after a long, awkward silence, "I'm not bored anymore."
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Lily's mother stopped their car in front of the Leaky Cauldron. "I'll be back to pick you up in two hours, sweetie!" Mrs. Evans said as her daughter stepped out of the car.
"Okay, Mum," Lily said, entering the dimly lit pub. She made her way to the back, tapping on the brick wall with her wand.
Lily had always loved Diagon Alley. She found the shops fascinating and the bustle of people exciting. She took a deep breath as she sat down at an outdoor table of the ice cream parlor. Then, she waited.
James Potter and Sirius Black had been wandering around Diagon Alley for twenty minutes. James had decided to come early; he wasn't willing to risk missing Lily.
Stepping out of the quidditch supply shop, the two teenagers spotted the tell-tale red hair of Lily Evans. She was facing away from them, nervously tapping her foot.
"HI EVANS!" Sirius shouted when he was directly behind her. He began laughing uncontrollably when she jumped about a foot in the air.
"Shut up, Sirius!" James said. "Hi Lily."
"Hi." The boys sat down and looked at her expectantly. "Well, I seem to have, um, gotten myself into a bit of a predicament," she began.
"What do you mean?" James asked.
"Hold on!" Sirius interrupted. "First things first. Why on Earth would you ask us to meet you here?"
"Well if I recall, I only asked James to come. You seem to be uninvited."
"And another thing, why are you calling him James - Wait, what? Are you saying you don't want me here?"
Lily nodded. "Basically, yes."
"Well fine then. I know when I'm not wanted," he said in mock anger.
Lily looked at Sirius, waiting for him to get up. "Well," she said, "Aren't you leaving?"
"What? No of course not."
Lily sighed. "Okay, I know it's really weird for me to be doing this, but the truth is, I need your help," she said, looking at James.
"With what?"
"I got into an argument with my sister yesterday. She said I couldn't get a boyfriend. I told her I had one already."
"You do?" Sirius asked.
"No, I lied."
"Oh okay, continue."
"Well anyway, she asked who he was. And for some reason," she paused uncomfortably, embarrassed by the whole thing, "I kind of said you were my boyfriend."
James looked completely floored by this statement. "Oh," was all he could manage.
"Yeah. So now she's decided she wants to meet you. And so do my parents."
"Oh."
"So, I was wondering if, maybe, you would pretend to be my boyfriend?"
There was complete silence at the table for the next sixty seconds.
"What's in it for him?" Sirius asked.
"Okay."
"James, I'm negotiating for you," Sirius said to him.
"I'll do it," James said to Lily, ignoring his best friend.
"You're hopeless."
"Really? Oh, James, thank you so much!" Lily said.
"No problem," he answered, feeling quite confident. Come on, fake dating was probably the closest he'd get to actually dating Lily Evans.
"Okay, you'll need to come over at seven on Friday night. And dress nicely, in muggle clothes."
"I can do that."
"Am I invited?" Sirius asked.
"No."
"Please? Without James around, I'll be bored out of mind." Lily looked skeptical. "I promise to totally freak out your sister whenever possible," he said, trying to convince her.
Lily smiled. "I'll ask my mother today."
"Yes!"
'This should be very interesting,' James thought to himself.
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Well, that's chapter one. The rules come next.
I actually had some of this sitting on my old computer before the whole thing crashed. I only just now decided to redo it. Hope you like it.