SPOILERS! BIG FAT TERRIBLY IN DEPTH SPOILERS FOR "OBSESSION". Just my thoughts during the episode, actually I wrote it while it was occurring. I don't know what to say about it, because really there isn't much. I have more stories I need to post (type up) and I hope to get it done soon, but Midterms are coming, and I have a lot of Final projects to work on as well. SO basically life is kicking me in the behind, and I do not appreciate it.

For those of you who have messages sent to me and waiting for replies in my inbox I will get to those. Perhaps I will get that done this weekend? I hope so.

Disclaimer: College really depletes your resources. Printer Ink, Printer Paper, Notebook paper, Pens, Pencil lead, Gas, you name it, College has made me use it. Do you think that I would be complaining about lack of funding if I created NCIS, I don't think so, I don't think so.

Dedicated to: My sweet sweet Jes whom I miss with all my heart. I will be replying soon, my love, I just … life hates me right now.

The Way Things Weren't

She never knew how hard it would be to listen to him talk about other women (and it was hard). She wanted to get away, to plug her ears (she wanted to tell him to stop it, that Ms. Right was right in front of him) but she didn't, she listened, and she hurt (boy, did she hurt).

She never realized how easy it would be for him to tear out her heart (If she was being honest he had it the whole time). She tried to get flirty with that man (she felt sick), she tried to make him notice (he didn't) and she felt broken (she wouldn't admit it, but she did).

She never thought that hearing him call her "David" in such a monotonous voice would kill her a bit inside (she'd been this close to death before, she remembered the pain of it, and this brings back those memories full boar). She tried not to let it hurt her, she tried not to let it show (she tried so hard, and all for nothing), but sometimes it poked through her thickly built walls for all to see. She feared that people would be able to see it, Tony in particular, but he was too distracted to take note, she was both parts grateful as well as disappointed (because if he didn't notice, no one would).

She tries to help him (she doesn't know where to start), she doesn't know what was going on with him. She has never seen him act like this, over a woman (girl) no less. She was (is) jealous, and she can't stand it (that feeling was clouding her judgment).

She made movie references to snap him out of it (her making a movie reference, it was absurd), and when he didn't respond she wasn't sure what else she could do for him (she was beginning to think there was nothing else she could do).

She knew that feeling, the one that was portrayed so clearly on his face (she felt it when Roy died, and it still causes her heart to ache when she thinks about it). She wishes she could take it away, that she could heal him, but she knows he won't let her. Not now, anyway. It was too soon. But she hopes that someday he will let her in (she hopes that one day she will let him in).

She wonders if she pushed him to it, if all her taunts somehow made him begin to have feelings for her (she knows she is giving herself too much credit, she always does). She's torn on the inside, unsure of what to make of everything. She knows she was jealous (still is because if he can have feelings that strong about someone other than her … well, she doesn't like to think about it).

She doesn't know if things will be ever be the same, the way they were before Somalia, before Rivkin (she can't even think his name without feeling betrayal. She doesn't know why she ever trusted him, she just doesn't).

She wasn't trying hard enough to help Tony (she needs to try harder), because she was scared (terrified actually), because he has the power to hurt her like no one before him could. She doesn't think he realized (no one does).

Really pointless, but I would love your reviews nonetheless. Even if it is to tell me to get my butt in gear on my other fics, seriously, that stuff is like motivating juice for me!

I'm working on time-management right now. We will see how that goes!