Big buddeh, look at what u inspired...mwahahaahaha. Wrote on mobile, as usual, thts why its so short.
Naomi, my love. My soul mate, lover, and key to my heart. Your stone is
rough and dark against my hand as I trace the gold inscription with
trembling fingers. The breaths I take are just as unsteady, and I can't help
but curl in onto myself in front of it in an effort to try and feel your arms
around me again. I grasp my own shoulders and then run a gentle hand
across my cheek, imagining it's your calloused one. Sobs catch in my
throat as I look at your stone, trying in vain to accept that your smiling
face is a sight that I will never see again.
"Naomi, I miss you..." I whisper to you thickly, reaching out to you again to
stroke the granite surface. The dirt underneath me is still soft and bare,
and I hold some of it in my hands and let it trickle down to cover my
legs. You were my world, my eternity, and now the sun never rises, never
sets without me thinking of you, without seeing your face in the clouds
and next to my own in the mirror. You smile to me, you know, in my
dreams.
You hold me and whisper to me while you stroke my face again
like you used to. "I love you", you whisper, placing a chaste kiss on my
forehead before you pull away, disappearing in a swirl of light as I awake,
my hands outstretched for you. I always wake up and fall asleep with your
voice in my mind, the phantom passage of your caresses on my skin.
Sometimes, I expect to hear the toilet flush and see your sleep- tousled
self walk back into the room and join me under the sheets in the morning.
And every time, I end up curling up on your side of the bed, holding your
pillow to me and inhaling your lingering scent.
The grief sits like your
stone in my heart, in my very center. It's agony, feeling you there all
around me and not being able to hold you again, to feel you wrap your
arms around me.
My days are bleak and empty without your light.
You gave me purpose, a love that never hesitated, never faltered. You
made me who I was, who I always wanted to be. Kind and righteous, you
brought me to a place that I will never forget, a plane of existence where
angels create love itself. Your love for me transcended anything I have
ever experienced, and I love you even more for that precious gift. Even
now , my deep love reaches out to you, searching for you in the void. You
meant everything to me, you were me, my other half, and I was and still
am yours.
Letters lay next to where you lay, my soul. I run my hand over them,
thinking of my darkest times, right after you ran in to save that poor child
stuck in the upper level of the building. That child wrote you a letter
Naomi, and placed it right next to my first. He was crying, too, when he
wrote his letter. He couldn't put into words how much your sacrifice
meant to him. He is alive because of you.
There are almost forty of them now. I write to you when missing you
becomes too much. I have one here for you now, and I grab it from my
pocket and try to ease the crinkles from the tear-stained envelope. My
tears are falling faster now, as I remember what I wrote. I run a hand across
it before placing it with the others, smiling gently as I feel you again
around me. This time, there are only three words written amongst the
tears drops.
"I love you."