Okay, so, PLOT BUNNY! I wanted to write a story where Harry came back from break a completely different person. In this case, smart, carefree, and extremely flamboyant. I got to thinking "How would that happen?" And it hit me. Lavender. She is possibly the girliest (it's a word cause I say so) most fun character in the fandom and she's so under used. Lavender in my story is going to talk... basically like I do. Lol. She's going to be slightly dim and slightly shallow here, but her heart is in the right place. I think it would take an outsider (Lavender) to see everything that's wrong in Harry's life at this point (Summer after fifth year). I want him to have some honest, muggle, teenage fun. Let me know what you think! Next chapter will be posted after I write it. So in like... A few hours or less .

Harry cursed himself for the hundredth time and tried, in vain, to open his eyes.

The last thing he could remember seeing was the exit from platform 9 3/4. He had been locating Hedwigs cage from the boot of the express when he ran a tiered hand over his face. before he could uncover his eyes, a Petrificus Totalus hit him straight in the back and his body froze.

He wasn't sure how long ago that had been. He had tried to remember what directions had been taken as his body was moved, but the best he could guess, he had only been manhandled to the station floo and thrown in. He tried to remember every detail of his capture, but there wasn't much to go on. He was levitated rather then touched, his eyes were frozen closed, and the only noise came from a pair of light footsteps directly behind him.

He dropped roughly out of the floo and on to a hard stone surface. Attempting to move his limbs showed his was still thoroughly incased in his captures spell. His body was gripped by another levitation spell and he felt the air around him bending a a he was propelled forward.

He had never felt more like crying. Like giving up. Ron had been thrown by a chess piece, attacked by a teacher, drug away by a grim, and set upon by enchanted brains. Hermione had been cornered by a mountain troll, petrified, run ragged by a time turner, victimized by the press, assaulted for such, then sliced open on their latest adventure. He couldn't protect Ginny, he couldn't protect Cedric, He couldn't protect Sirius, and now he couldn't protect himself.

He was supposed to be smarter then this. Instead he allowed himself to be plucked right off the platform! Sirius would be so disappointed in him. He felt tears burn eyes which couldn't cry and was thankful to the spell for hiding his moment of weakness from his captor. Finally, both he and the footsteps came to a stop and he felt himself being manhandled into a seat as more spells were shot to bend his frozen limbs. His wand was pulled out of his back pocket with a scoff and his arms were tied at the base of his back.

He heard a soft voice speak the incantation to the silencing spell and his heart sank. Finally the original spell was removed and his eyes flew open to reveal... Lavender Brown?

The for mentioned Gryffindor paced for a moment and bit her lip before turning to Harry and giving a cheery wave.

"Hi! So.. You're probably wondering why I kidnapped you. I mean of course you are. If I was kidnapped that'd be the first thing I'd think is 'Why am I being kidnapped.' not that you're a kid or anything, in fact were the same age so I don't even know if this is like, kidnapping. Maybe like... abduction?"

Harry would have laughed if the situation were any different. Instead he raised one eyebrow and watched as the girls face turned bright red.

"Right. I do that. The talking thing, I mean. What I was getting at is that I'm not going to hurt you. And I didn't take you for a stranger or you-know-who or something. Although, no offense or whatever, but kidnapping you was really really easy! I mean... You'd think they'd have people watching you!"

Harry's eyes narrowed and he made a 'continue' motion with his head. She was right, of course. Kidnapping him HAD been pathetically easy.

"Oh. That was kind of mean huh? Well I'm sorry for, like, taking you. But I didn't really know what else to do! I mean... You know I know like EVERYTHING that happens at Hogwarts right?"

She actually waited for him to nod, which was kind of funny.

"Well yeah So people are totally screwing you over. I hear them talk about it all the time. You know, for someone who talks so much, everyone seems to forget I'm there! What was I saying? Oh yeah! People are totally going behind your back and stealing from you and stuff. There's actually a group of people whose job it is to keep you stupid! And you're so chalk full of potions I'm surprised you can function. Is that the phrase? Chalk full? doesn't make much sense does it? Anyway, I heard Rose Smith, that's the gryffindor a year below us, I heard her telling Jade from Ravenclaw that Ginny said that the war was going to kill you. Then I heard you telling Ron Weasley that you had to go back to your relatives and it hit me! You might actually die in this war without having done anything! No parties! No night clubs! No regrettable tattoos or piercings! You haven't even realized you're gay yet!"

Gay? Seriously? Harry yanked at his bindings and tried to yell a denial before remembering he was silenced.

"I tell you all that and 'gay' is what gets you? Sorry honey, but you're 15, you're 5'2, and you have more hip in your walk then I do. Don't worry, once we get those potions out of you, you'll see."

Harry looked down to his lap and scowled. He didn't want to believe it. Any of it. People were keeping him stupid? Feeding him potions? He just lost Sirius. He didn't want to risk losing all his friends too. He looked to Lavender with a pleading expression.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I didn't want to make you sad I just... I want you to have a chance here, you know?"

Harry bit his lip and nodded.

"Great! So here's my plan. I'm not letting you go back to Your families house. You need to live a little. We're going to get you healthy, then spend the summer having fun and getting you in shape. Right now we're in my flat in London. When I let you go, we're taking a port key to the US. I'm taking you to the nearest hospital, my treat, and getting you fixed up. After that, We're doing some partying, DEFINITELY a makeover, we're going to study our butts off so you can re-take your OWLS, and by the time you get back to school in September, no one will even recognize you! I always wanted a gay BF. I was practically born to be a fruit fly.