Psych
Kids Will Be Kids…
Based on the Television show Psych created by Steve Franks
1988
"You want to tell me where you got this money?" My father asked, as Gus and I sat on the couch.
"I found it." I told him.
"You found it?" He asked.
"Yeah," I told him "We were just walking in the parking lot of Safeway, when all of a sudden I saw a hundred dollar bill, just lying on the ground."
"Yeah right," He said "I'll believe that when Michael Jackson becomes a white man."
"But Dad…"
"No buts. You wanna shed some light on this Gus?"
"Well, Shawn and I were walking in the parking lot of Safeway whe…" My dad cut him off.
"Tell me truth Gus, or I'll call you parents."
"But that'll be the second time I've had to go to church this week!" Gus exclaimed.
"Then tell me the truth." My dad demanded.
"Shawn told some old lady in the parking lot that he was a starving orphan and needed a hundred dollars."
"Gus!" I shouted.
"I'm sorry Shawn, but the people at Oak Grove have labeled me as 'a troubled child'. If my parents take me back there again, I'll become a 'problematic child'. " Gus confided.
"Shawn, I can't believe you did this!" my dad shouted. "What did you need the money for anyway?"
"Bases Loaded came out today." I told him.
"Those games don't cost a hundred dollars, and besides you don't even have a thing to play it on!"
"That's what the rest of the hundred dollars was for, to buy the Nintendo you refused to get me for my birthday!"
My dad sighed,
"Gus," He said "go home. Shawn, go to your room."
"Okay." Gus said as he ran out of the house.
"This isn't fair!" I pleaded with my father.
"Life's not fair!" He said "Now go to your room!"
"I hate you!" I said as I walked away.
2011
Gus and I were walking into the Santa Barbra Police station, when I saw the head detective, Carlton Lassiter, standing with a teenage girl.
"Meet your assignment for the day, Spencer." Lassiter said.
"I though we were investigating the murder of the teacher from Richmond?" I asked.
"No, no, no." Lassiter said "Instead you're going to be baby-sitting my niece from Richmond. The teacher who was killed was her History Teacher."
"Why is she in Santa Barbra?" Gus asked.
"She's here visiting me; she comes once in January and once in July. You're doing this because I don't want her near the murder; I'll pick her up tomorrow." Lassiter explained as he walked away.
"What's your name?" Gus asked.
"Michaela, but you can just call me K." The girl said.
"Alright," Gus said in a friendly voice "I'm going to go to the restroom real quick." He said as he left.
"So, what's your favorite movie?" I asked K.
She just stared at me coldly. "I don't like you."
"What did I say?"
"Uncle Carlton says that you're a no good slacker. I hate no good slackers." She said.
"All I asked was what your favor…" I was cut off as she kicked me in between the legs.
"Ugh!" I shouted in pain as I fell to the floor. "What was that for?"
Just then Gus walked up. "What happened? Are you all right?" He asked.
"He just collapsed to the ground and shouted 'Groin Hernia'!" K said.
"What?" I said, as Gus helped me up "That's a lie, she kicked me right in the family jewels!"
"Yeah right," Gus said, "I'll believe that when Tiger Woods stops losing sponsors."
"It's true!" I told him.
"Let's just go. I've stuff I have to pick up from the store." Gus said. As he and K walked ahead, K gave me an evil smile.
(Intro.)
Chapter 2
"That child is the spawn of the devil." I told Gus as we walked into Safeway.
"There is nothing wrong with her." Gus said.
"Are you kidding? She's the sex child of Lassiter's brother and Satan. The scary part is she related to Lassiter." I told Gus.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with her." He said.
"She kicked me, right in the spot for no reason, no reason at all!" I shouted.
"Shhh! She's right there with the windows rolled down." Gus reminded me. As we walked in, we saw my dad and Lassiter.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.
"We're investigating the murder of the school teacher." My dad said.
"I need your help." I told him.
"With what?" He said impatiently.
"I've got to deal with Lassiter's niece and I need help."
"You need help raising her for a couple days?" He asked.
"Yes." I said.
"You know who can help you?"
"Who?" I said frustrated.
"Shawn, Shawn can help Shawn."
I started to walk off "What was I thinking," I said "Asking the man who never actually raised me on how to raise a child."
"I'm sorry" My dad said sarcastically "It wasn't like I was busy with a divorce and an endless supply of police work."
"Where did I ever fit in there?" I said turning around. "Why wasn't I part of your priorities?"
"You had a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your stomach. My job as a parent was done."
"Yeah, as an irresponsible parent."
"Irresponsible? You're one to call me irresponsible. You wouldn't know responsibility if it knocked you upside the head!"
"Is that so? Dad! If that's what I can call you, maybe I should just call you Henry. Thoughts, Henry?"
"Get out of here, Shawn."
"Make me, Henry."
"Shawn, I'm not going to ask you again."
"I dare you."
"Okay then, officer, escort Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster away from the premises."
As Gus and I were being escorted away, my dad started again.
"Come back when you can behave, kid." He said.
"You know what?" I said. He had pushed his limits.
"I hate you!" I shouted.
"Oh, like I haven't heard that one before, come on Shawn, what are you five?" My dad said.
"Well I… I… I wish you were dead!" I shouted again, my dad froze, Gus gasped, and even the cop holding us loosened his grip.
"Escort them away officer." My dad said, sounding sad.
When we walked back into the car, K looked at us humorously.
"You really need Dr. Phil." She said.
I sighed and held back what I was going to say.
"Let's get something to eat." Gus said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh, wait, let me asked Lassie if she has any allergies." He said as he left the car.
"Tough luck, Spencer." K said.
"What do you want?" I asked angrily.
"To do this!" She said as she lunged forward and pounded her fist into my stomach.
"Agh!" I shouted "What is your problem?"
"Uncle Carlton says when dealing with a male no good slacker, you should attack, before they attack you with their laziness." She said.
"I see." I said as Gus walked into the car.
"Only a mild allergy to milk products. Hey! What's the matter with you?" Gus asked.
"She did it again."
"I find that hard to believe." He said as he started the car. "McDonalds okay with everyone?" He asked.
"That's fine." I said.
"Sounds great." K said sadistically.
Chapter 3
We pulled up to the drive-thru at McDonalds.
"Looks like a long line in drive-thru, you guys want to go in and eat?" Gus asked.
I looked into the window and saw the line of people inside. Saw the fumbling cashier, mistaking orders and basically taking the "Fast" out of "Fast Food".
"Nah, I think that would be longer." I said to Gus.
"Okay." He said as we drove to the window.
We placed our orders and drove to the second window.
The man who handed us our bags was a muscular guy who was lifting weights while bringing us our food. As he was walking someone bumped into the back of him, which seemed to really hurt his butt.
"Here's your order." He said.
"Thanks." Gus said.
"Oh, and buddy," I said getting the muscle factory's attention.
"Um, yeah?
"Lay off the 'roids, you'll thank me later." I told him.
"How'd you know?" He asked
"I'm psychic." I said as we drove off.
Later…
I went to the Psych office to work on the case, while Gus taught Michaela the finer things of pharmaceutical sales. As I was looking through the evidence on the police files online (I hacked it.) I noticed that the two people who were killed were teachers. Michaela's teachers. I looked into some murders from Richmond and saw. Saw the names of people killed, they were all people that at some point in time they would have crossed with Michaela. Saw the pattern of the deaths, it seemed family would get killed, and other people close to the final victim, then the killer would strike and kill the last person. Then my phone rang. It was my dad.
"Hello." I said.
"Shawn, I can't talk long you need to call the cops and tell them to come to the old Haynes warehouse, I've been kidnapped." My dad said whispering.
"What?" I exclaimed.
"Shawn I got to go!" He said. The phone lines went dead.
I called Gus.
"Gus can you watch K a little longer? I gotta help my dad." I told him.
"What are you talking about she went to Lassie's house." Gus said.
"He picked her up?"
"No, she said she could walk there."
"Gus, Lassiter lives an hour away from your house! But, the Haynes…" I said, stopping mid-sentence. Remembering how much K hated me, remembering the killer attacked those closest to the main victim first. I had figured it out.
"Shawn. Shawn, are you there?" Gus asked.
"Yeah, I gotta go." I said.
Chapter 4
I walked into the abandoned warehouse and saw my dad tied up in a chair.
"Shawn, are the police here?" My dad asked.
"No."
"Why!"
"Because I know who the killer is and how to stop her."
"Guess what?" My dad asked.
"What?"
"I know who the killer is to."
"You do?"
"Yes, because the killer is the one who kidnapped me!"
"Right." I said as I tried to untie him. Then I felt a kick to the back, knocking me down.
Then a gun was pointed at my fathers head. Michaela held the gun.
"I don't usually do things this way." She said. "But I'm going to let you guys say some last words to each other. Shawn you can start."
"Okay, umm. Well." I said stunned.
"Keep in mind that I'm about to drive a bullet straight through your old man's brain." K said.
"Dad," I said "I'm sorry. And I love you."
"What are you sorry for?" He asked.
"Are you serious!" I asked.
"You're about to die and you want me to name exactly what I'm sorry for!"
"I think it would mean more." He said.
"I'm sorry I…" I was cut off by Gus throwing a ball at K's head.
"Ow!" She exclaimed matter of factly.
Then Jules and Lassiter walked up.
"Why are you guys here?" I asked.
"I told them about your vision." Gus said.
"What are you doing?" Lassiter asked K.
"May I?" I asked.
"Go ahead." Lassiter sighed.
"K is the one who killed the two teachers, and drove the teacher, store owner, and teenage girl, from Richmond to suicide and killed all their family members." I said. "You see, Michaela couldn't stand if someone wronged her, even in the slightest way, so she killed them, but no! She couldn't just kill them, she had to wrong them! She would kill each member of their family, leaving them with no one to turn to, so they would kill themselves, but not all of them gave up. So you had to fight back."
"But, why you, Spencer?" Lassiter asked.
"Because he's a disgrace to the Lassiter family name!" K shouted at Lassiter "Whenever I bring you up, they just talk about Shawn. Shawn this and Shawn that. I was sick of it!"
Lassie then shook his head and read Michaela her rights, all while holding back tears.
Chapter 5
Gus and I were in the Psych offices the day after the whole affair with Lassie and his family issues. My dad walked in the door.
"Shawn." He said; motioning me to join him in the other room.
I followed him.
"Yes?" I asked.
"You never did say what you were sorry for." He said.
"Are you still on this?"
"No, I'm just kidding."
"In all seriousness Dad, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He said as I went and hugged him. He backed up.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"I thought we were having a father/son moment?"
"I don't like physical contact Shawn."
I laughed,
"I know." I told him, getting ready to walk out of the room. He was about to walk out the door when he turned to me.
"Shawn." He said.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"You're okay."
"You too, Dad."