Random things pop into my mind while playing DA:O, and while they're not worth a whole story, they're pretty fun as one-shots. So, I thought I would play around with that a bit. This will be a collection of my random ideas, presumably all or mostly one-shots. Enjoy!

Ranger Diplomacy
Characters: Dalish Warden (Fir Mahariel), Alistair, Zevran, Leliana, Morrigan
Pairings: None

"That cannot be your answer to everything." Alistair sighed, somewhat exasperated. The group had set up camp earlier in the evening, a semi-rescued stew was heating up over the fire, and Fir Mahariel was lounging about, checking her bowstring's strength after the recent events of the day. She quirked an eyebrow at the half-templar's sudden outburst.

"What cannot be my answer to everything?" She asked, curious despite herself. He plopped down near her, armor rattling, as he went about checking his own weapons.

"You know what I mean." He continued, examining the edge of his blade in the firelight. "You did it yesterday with that dwarf, Dwyn. And earlier, at the tower, with the Knight Commander." He looked over at her, eyebrow raised.

"I…have no idea what you are talking about." Fir was truly confused. Had she violated some human custom? Was she, perhaps, making more of a mess of this Blight situation than she thought?

"'I have a bear' is not always a suitable argument." He said, finally. "Sure, he's big, and foreboding, and has quite a lot of teeth, but eventually you'll need to be diplomatic! And by then the only line you'll know is 'but I have a bear.'"

Fir stared at him in a sort of befuddled amusement, before answering, slowly, "But having a bear is a legitimate point to make in many discussions."

"It's like the battering ram of points to make in a debate." Alistair continued. "I don't really think you can march up to the archdemon and have it be terribly impressed that you have a bear."

"I wouldn't expect to be having a…what is the word, 'chat' with the archdemon, either." Fir continued evenly, logically. "But having a bear would still be a good point to make to it. Just more of a direct point, as the bear will be trying to help kill it."

Alistair seemed somewhat stumped; the answer, to Fir, still seemed relevant. Then, he said, "I will come up with some dilemma you cannot reasonably respond to with 'I have a bear.'"

"I am certain you could, given enough time. But so far, that has not been the case." Fir was definitely involved now, and it seemed the others were beginning to listen in to the curious conversation.

"What if someone asked you what you would like for lunch?" Alistair started, raising an eyebrow. "Surely—"

"I would make my request and then mention, perhaps casually, that I have a bear, so as to ensure the quality of the food." Fir shrugged. "It is important, especially among your people, to be cautious about this sort of thing."

"I…that seems to be stretching it a bit…" Alistair grumbled good-naturedly. "All right, what about what to wear to a party?"

"That is easy. Whatever matches my bear." She smiled winningly. "For certainly he will be going with me."

"Look, I don't think you can bring a bear to a party." Alistair groused.

"Will you tell the bear that?" She asked, curiously.

Alistair sighed. "Fine, fine." He leaned his chin onto his fist, thinking for some way to stump this ultimate answer.

"I have one that, while it may not stump you, would satisfy my curiosity." Zevran butted in, all smiles as usual. Fir gestured for him to continue. "How would a bear fit into the discussion of a rather handsome, roguish fellow asking to warm your bed?"

"Do I like this handsome, roguish fellow?" Fir asked, tone even, no indication of emotion in any direction other than her continued amusement.

"Let us say it has not been determined yet."

"Well, if I do not like this fellow, then the bear is obviously there to keep said fellow from touching me or even coming near me. Bears are very good for this." She placed her bow to the side. "If I do like this fellow, then the bear is there to ensure that I have not made a poor choice. To keep the fellow in line, as it were. Bears are very good for this, as well."

"I see." Zevran seemed to mull this over. "I am not sure I wish to know any more, quite yet."

"Pity." Fir leaned back, nonchalantly, stretching. "Any other suggestions?"

"How will you get the Landsmeet to listen to you if your only point is that you have a bear?" Leliana asked, joining them by the fire.

"That is not what you have a bear for in the Landsmeet. The bear is so the Landsmeet will listen to the other compelling points." Fir responded easily, without batting an eyelash or hesitating. "Bears are true diplomats." Leliana threw her hands up in exasperation.

"Perhaps I can stump you, then." Morrigan's voice, followed by her form, oozed into the firelight, having joined the group proper for a rare moment. "How will you solve the dilemma of not having a bear, assuming you cannot find one?"

Fir thought, carefully, concentrating, with her hands clasped in front of her, an unreadable expression on her face. Finally, she said, "You are right. I cannot solve the dilemma of no bear with a bear." Morrigan looked haughtily triumphant, and the others gave her begrudging congratulations. "But…"

"But?" Alistair asked, frowning. "What 'but'?"

"I do have a backup, in case the bear answer fails." Fir nodded sagely, while the others exchanged glances. What could she be on about?

"And what, praytell, would that be?" Morrigan asked, hands on her hips, ready to debunk this 'answer.' Fir gave her a cheery smile, indulgent and playful.

"I have a wolf."