I couldn't deal with the lies anymore. I had to tell someone that I killed Shana, and I just can't handle it on my own anymore. The image of her on the floor in that theatre repeats over and over again in my head, like a broken cassette tape. The pool of claret blood that circled her body haunted me every time I saw the colour red. "Ezra?" I mumbled, some part of me hoped he wouldn't hear me, and he would just carry on writing his book
"Yeah" he turned his head away from the typewriter for the first time in two hours
"I need to err tell you something and you have to help me..." tears filled my eyes as I tried to fathom all my thoughts, what if Ezra reported me to the cops? I'd get what I deserved but what if it dragged the others into it? what if he didn't love me anymore if I told him?
"What is it, is something wrong?"
"I…er… I need help writing my English essay" I babble, I couldn't confess to murdering someone to Ezra, he would never forgive me, "its er- its pretty embarrassing but its on.. er Of Mice and Men, and about the development of Curley's wife's promiscuity and the treatment of women in the book and… I just can't get my head around the-"
"Of Mice and Men isn't on the Rosewood High syllabus? Aria, what's going on?" he stood up from the chair and sat next to me on the couch, slowly brushing my hair behind my ears,
"I just really don't want to be alone tonight" I pushed my head onto his chest "can I stay here tonight? My dad's just being annoying with the whole you and me thing and Mike-" suddenly I wasn't speaking, Ezra put his finger under my chin and lifted my head up and pressed his lips softly against mine until I suddenly felt calmer, and like the world was at peace. I wish this kiss could last forever.
"Do you need to call your Dad and tell him?" he asked, reaching for the landline, but I shook my head; I can't speak to him right now, not after the divorce and the New York incident, he acted worried but I knew he wasn't, because he hadn't realised that I was gone. "Okay while its getting late and I have to sub tomorrow, do you have any classes?"
"No, I'm not feeling too good so I'm just going to call in sick" I looked at the floor, shuffling my feet out of my boots and kicking them off at the foot of Ezra's bed "I'll be fine, I just need some rest"
"Okay" he kissed my forehead and returned to his typewriter "I'm just going to finish this chapter and I'll join you, okay"
I nodded, and threw myself into the bundle of unmade sheets and wiggled my pants off, pulled my shirt over my head and replaced it with one of Ezra's oversized shirts that smells of macaroni and cologne. Slowly I put my head on Ezra's pillows and I could finally breath again. But peace can't last forever.