It's my birthday, so I felt obligated to write a birthday fic. I made it up as I went along. Destiel obviously!

"Come on Dean! It's your birthday, let's celebrate!" Sam spoke, grinning as he looking at Dean from across the shitty motel room. He wanted to go have drinks at the bar, and pick up a chick, let Dean have a little fun. The only issue was Dean had been refusing. He let himself wallow in the pain, believing he deserved it, earned it, wanted it. Dean had just got over a nasty break up with his ex Castiel, the only angel he would ever know, but Cas was no angel, anything but. He was all devil, no heart, no soul, no regrets. "What's gotten into you lately man? You're not yourself," Sammy said after a moment.

Dean looked up at his little brother, the one who know nothing of what had happened. Dean kept his love life private, at least when it involved another guy. He couldn't even begin to think about how Sammy would react when he learned his precious big brother was bi. "What do you want me to do Sam? Lean on your shoulder? Have a heart to heart? Cry a little?" Dean spat, the words tumbling over his tongue, and past his lips. He watched as his brother rolled his eyes.

Dean couldn't get the blue eye'd man out of his head, he had been so sweet in the beginning. They'd met in a bar a few towns back, when Dean and Sam first started traveling. He was so good looking and sweet, they stayed for a month so Dean could be with him. Keeping Sam out of the loop the whole time. After two weeks though, Cas changed. Dean would come home with bruises, and bloody, beaten to a pulp by his beloved boyfriend. Sam always asked, but Dean always said bar fight. It wasn't till Cas nearly slit Dean's throat with a knife Dean ran. Going to Sam, packing, and leaving all within the hour, driving off into the night and never looking back.

"It's 3pm since when do you turn down booze?" Sam stated, pulling the elder brother from his reverie. The man knew what he was saying, because it was true. Dean Winchester never turned down a good fuck, a short skirted honey, or alcohol. Dean shook his head clearing all thoughts of how this break up had affected him in more ways than he cared to admit, and much worse. Dean shrugged and got up from his seat at the kitchen table, making his way across the room to the small, horrible excuse for a bathroom. His initial plan was to just avoid Sam, and clear his head, but of course, he didn't have such luck.

As Dean glared into the mirror, he felt a pain in the hollow between his shoulder blades. Turning around to inspect the sharp pang in the mirror, he realized he was staring at the empty bathroom he'd previously been in. He could see the sink jutting out from what hat to be the wall, but he was where the wall should be. "Sam?" He called lightly as he stretched his hand out, wondering if he was dreaming. He was less than shocked to find a clear, cold barrier restricting his hand from moving. Although he was unsurprised, he didn't understand what was happening. "SAM!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Dean, stop screaming, I'm right here, goof," a voice said from behind him. Dean instantly froze, he'd recognize that voice anywhere, and it wasn't a good one. When Dean tried to breath, he couldn't it felt as though he was spiraling out of control. This couldn't possibly be real, could it? Slowly Dean turned around to face the man that had hurt him time and time again, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

"What are you doing here Cas?" Dean breathed. He knew he wouldn't be in full control over himself but he didn't expect to sound so weak.

"I'm here to see you silly, why are you so scared? Are you okay?" When Castiel spoke Dean thought he heard pure, true concern, but it couldn't possibly be. Could it? Cas had tried to hurt him as much as possible, could all of this be true?

Dean instantly seen red. "You tried to kill me, you beat me and hurt me constantly, how the fuck would I be okay after that?" He yelled, not caring what it sounded like.

"I could never hurt you Dean, I love you." When Cas said those three little words all hell broke loose in his mind. Castiel loved him? Dean lost all hope for sanity when he leaned in and kissed Castiel. He knew he was in a world of trouble for trying to be with someone like Castiel again, but he loved Cas too, maybe they could work it out.

He tasted blood before he felt the bite, Castiel was biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, Dean screamed as the pain radiated from his lower lip. How could he have been crazy enough to think things between them could ever work out? Castiel was a monster, a monster that was still haunting Dean, day and night. Castiel let go, causing Dean to fall straight back, hitting his head on the cold clear barrier on his way down. Pain shot through his head, neck and shoulders as he made contact. He howled in pain as his hand shot to the back of his skull.

"Dean!" A voice called as everything went black. "Dean!" It called again getting clearer. Dean opened his eyes to see Sammy kneeling beside him on the bathroom floor.

"What happened?" Dean grumbled as he brought a finger to the back of his head. There was no blood, but the throbbing continued. He closed his eyes and ran his tongue across his bottom lip, immediately recognizing the metallic taste as his own blood.

Sam looked down at him, a small, sad smile playing at his lips. "I heard a bang from in here and came running, you'd I guess fell and hit your head, knocked yourself out hold, bit your lip too I'm thinking. I've been in here for five minutes trying to wake you're sorry as up, but you just kept right on dreaming. It wasn't until you started screaming that I knew I had to wake you up." Sam looked him over as if wondering if he should call an ambulance on his elder brother.

Dean said nothing but stood, swaying slightly as he made his way to his feet. Dean looked around, realizing it was all just another nightmare, and dropped his gaze to the floor. "Still up for the bar?" Dean grumbled as he walked in the direction on the front door. He knew Sam was following him wordlessly, and he'd eventually get questioned as to what the hell had happened, but he'd rather be shit faced drunk when the time came to tell his brother about his abusive boyfriend.