Author's note: Hey there my fellow readers and followers. I am here to present to you a new story series. No its not going to be one of my other failed attempts of a series as this one will have an additional four parts to it after this one. I am really sorry about all the waits and stops I have had. But life has been giving me writing material some of which I am putting in here. Now the events in this story are mostly based on real facts and information that happened in my life. Note Alvin is my father and I am Simon. I think I am telling to much. So why don't you read review. Also check out my poll on my profile!

"What...stop you son of a..." krrrbam! "Damn it! Damn it! Fuck!" I screamed. What am I going to do? How could have happened to me? Why did this shit have to happen? I can't believe it...fuck! I...need to call the cops...then call my family.

"Hello...911...I need to report an accident..." I trailed off replaying what had happened.

30 minutes before.

"Alvin don't be late for your job." Simon said.

"Yeah, yeah I know...you are so lucky you're in college with a full ride and getting an internship to cover your expenses." Alvin said clearly upset.

"Well Alvin if you would have applied yourself a little more then you would have enough college scholarships to pay for most of college." Simon said plainly.

"I know and I can clearly see why I should have done better in high school. But now I'm working at this company which will allow me to work 20 hours a week and take 12 hours of classes per semester...I just wish I didn't have to go to work before the sun rises." Alvin said in a bit of a complaining tone.

"Well you'd better be going now before you are late to work...again." Simon said in a somewhat reprimanding tone of voice.

With that Alvin left the house and hustled into his old 1994 Mazda b3000 green truck and began to race to his job. Now he wasn't speeding but he was cutting it a little close to get there on time.

The road he was traveling on was dark and there was a blind curve but there was no lighting on this road and the speed limit was 55 and Alvin was going every bit of it to make sure he got there in time.

"Hello? Sir are you there?" The dispatch lady asked breaking my trance.

"Yes ma'am, I am here. Like I was saying I need to report a car crash and an ems, I...um...hit a person with my car..." I trailed off once again.

I was going around this corner then to my horror my high beams lock onto a dark figure in the middle of my lane walking the same way I was driving. "Fuck!" I scream as I smashed the break pedal to the floor and swerved hard left trying to avoid this FUCKING ASS HOLE! But I hit him none the less. He hit the windshield with a loud bang and a sickening groan escaping his lips as his head smashes into the small portion of the right hand side windshield. "Fucking shit! Goddamn it! Oh fuck!" I scream as I looked up and saw a car coming towards me and I was in his lane. I take my foot off the break and stomp on the accelerator and whipped the wheel fast as lightening to the right to avoid the oncoming car.

When I missed the car I again stomped on my breaks and came to a stop. My mind was racing and panic rode high within me...I was sure that man I hit would be dead. Should I run or stay? If I stay I might be taken in for vehicular manslaughter. But if I run I will look guilty whereas if I stay here and try to aid the man I hit there's a chance nothing will happen..."oh God...what do I do?" I think its best to stay. I called 911...

With that thought my mind snapped and said oh yes I'm on the phone with them. I told them the exact location and what had happened.

After that I called my family and told them what happened. They all freaked out and were worried as heck about me.

I slowly got out of my truck, my entire body was shaking and feeling uneasy. I went over to the driver I almost hit to make sure he was ok. As I approached his car he stepped out and we began asking each other questions and I found out that he saw the whole thing and would stay there until he filed a statement on my behalf. So I was a little relieved...but now I had to go attend to the one I hit.

I didn't want to but I knew if I didn't it would look like I wanted him to die. Which in reality I would have rather gone to a long day at work instead of having to miss it because of this.

I began to walk to the stiff mangled body...laying motionless...soundless...I felt a shiver run through my spine. It shook me to the core of my very being...it was...scary how life had changed within an instant and how this man...might ruin my life because of his stupid decision/action.

The asphalt was cool as it was nearing winter and as I walked towards the fallen body a gust of cold air blasted through me. It chilled me to the bone. The cold air whipped through my hair and it tingled with numbness but it barely registered within my mind.

My mind...was gone...it was trying to grasp what the hell happened to me 5 minutes ago. It was still under the impression that this was all a nightmare. It had to be a nightmare because only good things happened to me. This wasn't...couldn't be possible.

But what I saw before my very eyes was a body that I was painstakingly making my way to. Every step felt like a million miles...every second an hour and every minute like a year. Time slowed...my mind raced...my body felt sick, weak and on the verge of puking.

Reality was setting in, it became crystal clear that my life changed...however...how much or drastically it would I didn't know. Only time would tell what emotional, mental and spiritual damage this would cause within me.

After what felt like years I finally reached the body. When it had landed onto the asphalt it face planted hiding the man's face from me.

I rolled him over and to my horror...the person I hit was not a man but rather a kid. He was not physically the age of a kid but rather the man was a young man like me. He must have been in his mid 20's, was of a fairly nice physic with a strong upper body build on him.

I placed my fingers on his neck to check for his pulse. But I couldn't tell if it was his or mine, deep down I knew he was dead, but I was hoping with all my heart that he was ok.

Tense moments passed as I waited and prayed that there would be signs of life in this utterly lifeless body. But after 5 minutes of doing what I had learned from Si I knew he was dead.

I realized that I was...am...a...murderer. The bringer of death. My mind flooded with vile thoughts and negative emotions. I felt a weight that began crushing me the very second I accepted/acknowledged he was dead.

My head was...like a bowl of Jell-O; thoughts and feelings pierced it but they didn't really sink in like they normally would have. My mind was encased in a fog, deep and dark, shallow and wide, narrow and high. It was like I couldn't wrap my head around what was happening to me.

I kept thinking "What is the matter with me? Why is my mind so...withdrawn from reality?" I felt emotions come and go, I was like the ocean as feelings, thoughts and ideas ebbed and flowed from my mind and body. I felt shivers run through my body waiting for the police to respond so that I could get the hell away from this damn nightmare of a morning. My truck was smashed and my life lay before me an unknown whirlwind of things yet to come.

I stood up and walked over to my truck and pulled the tailgate down and sat on it. I was wearing my work uniform along with one of their jackets, because I had to work outside pretty often. The gentleman from the other car walked over and sat next to me. I am sure he was a good guy because most people would have driven off forgetting to care about the person who had just killed a man.

The stranger asked. "What of the man you hit? Is he ok?"

I replied glumly. "He's...dead." His face showed some shock but not as much as I was expecting. "Does that make me a murderer?" I asked in all seriousness.

The man took a few minutes gathering his thoughts and drawing in all the wisdom that he could muster at that moment and said. "How does killing a man with your car make you a murderer? If you were such then you wouldn't have tried your damnedest to avoid hitting that man. How could you have known what he was doing? It's not like you knew he'd be here at this time. It was a very sad, unfortunate freak accident that cost this man his life."

"I guess, I just feel bad that it had to be me. But I am a very strong person so that might be why it happened to me." I said stuffing my emotions into a deep dark corner of my being.

"Well I don't know about that, but I do know you need to deal with your emotions and get help because no matter how strong you are this event has scarred you for life my friend." The stranger said with the wisdom of someone way beyond his years.

I thought to myself: "Who are you to judge me and what I can and cannot handle? I am Alvin Seville! Mr. Heart Throb himself! I am way stronger than stooping to some quack doctor to help the Great Alvin! I am not ever going to get help! I will handle it on my own! HUMPH!"

"Thank you. I will certainly make sure I do that." I lied.

We kept talking until the police finally showed up and we both gave our statements. After he gave his the stranger took off heading to wherever he had to be. Me...I had to stay here at this God awful place and endure more torture.

The police looked around the area to see what was up with this guy and why he wasn't wearing shoes at all. Something I had failed to notice. So it was a puzzling mystery as to what happened to them. But as luck would have it they did find them, but not the way I had envisioned them. They were both side by side near a telephone pole along with a few other trinkets there.

The police speculated that he was leaving all he had of value there. It is believed he did this because he wanted to end his life. So in other words I wasn't a murderer in the eyes of the law...I was just the murder weapon used to take his life from him. I didn't want to end some one's life...hell I didn't even desire to witness death.

How can I not be held accountable for killing this young man? I mean it was me who was driving the car and I was the one who hit him...so it should be me who is to blame. But I wasn't blamed or charged with murder.

I called up my father to come and pick me up. He was more than willing to come and pick me up. When he got there we were told that the tow truck had made a mistake and towed my truck to the impound lot instead of where I asked them to.

So we (Dave and I) rushed over to the impound lot to work it all out. We were really blessed that it did. The truck was towed to a good friend of mine who was a car mechanic and was going to get it fixed there. But I didn't have any insurance on it save for collision if I hit someone's car. So the repairs were going to be coming out of my pocket and I figured that I couldn't afford to buy another one.

We went home where I told my family all about what had happened and how "I God chose me because he knew I was the only one that could handle the ordeal and not fall apart." I played the tough man all the time I was around anyone...but when no one was around I broke down.

That first night after my car acc...murder I began to cry. I felt like a loser, moron, idiot, jerk and putting myself down. I was a complete disaster, the hurt and pain consumed me and was crushing me from the inside out. I needed to find a way to take away the pain that I was feeling.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Little did I know that this was just the beginning of a long and horrid journey.