Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters.
A/N: Hey guys, I know it's been forever since I've posted let alone written anything. This is an oldie that I found and I touched it up a bit. I hope some of you are still with me. So, this idea came to me while ago when I was listening to the song Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey. I hope you enjoy!
We are out for our weekly get together for drinks and lunch. He picks me up once a week and takes me out. He claims that I need a break from all the paperwork I do.
We just finished and are walking back to my office. I tell him that he doesn't need to walk be back, but he insists. As much as I don't want to admit it, his insisting to walk me back makes me fall a little bit more in love with him.
A young woman walks by and his head turns to watch her pass. He turns back to me with a lecherous smile and tells me that he's sorry but he needs to do something and that he has to cut our walk short. I can't let him know that it bothers me so I roll my eyes and wave him off. I turn my head to see him run after the young woman.
Watching him run after her hurts more than I'd like it to, I hate that he makes me feel this way. I promised myself that I wouldn't do this again, especially after Dan. I don't want to go through that kind of pain again.
But, here I am, falling in love with the worst person possible. He's a pervert and a womanizer, the worst combo for me. Besides, he likes young women, not old ladies pretending to be young. Sure, he loves me, he always has, but he loves me for my body. He loves my younger form. If he saw the woman I hide underneath he would run and never come back. He'll always want someone younger. Like just now, I look young, but someone younger came along and he left.
If I ever told anyone about these thoughts they would say that I'm crazy and that Jiraiya loves me and wouldn't care how old I look, but I know better. I know him more than they do. He enjoys women young and beautiful with perfect little bodies. I also know that I won't be able to keep this jutsu up forever. I'll lose my ability to do so. My age will catch up to me eventually.
I reach my office and sit down in my chair. I open a drawer and pull out an old photo. It's a photo of Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and I. We all just became Jounin. Orochimaru was standing off to the side with a scowl on his face. Jiraiya was holding me around the waist, holding me off the ground. He had that stupid damn smile of his face. He always had that smile around me. In the photo I was too busy trying to get out of his arms to look at the camera. The photo might have looked stupid to others, but to me it summed up out team perfectly.
That was back when Jiraiya constantly tried to get me to go on a date with him. Everything he did was to please me or try to impress me...I miss those days. I hit him a lot of the time, but it was nice to have his attention. But, that time has passed. I'm not the only woman in his life now. I'm no longer young and beautiful like I used to be. I'm just gonna have to face it...I'm no longer his muse. His muses are the women that he peeps on. The ones who don't fake their appearance.
Sometime I feel like it would be easier if I just asked him or showed him. Then I'd be able to see how he would react. Would he leave? Would he run and never look back? Would he even think about me again? I'd probably just be an old thought...no, I wouldn't even be a thought. I'd me a memory. A reminder of how much time he wasted.
It's not just my age; he likes lively women, not ones with broken and battered souls like mine. I carry around too much baggage with me. He knows how much I carry and he doesn't want any part of it.
I would love to finally be with him, but it wouldn't work. I would want him forever, and he's not one to settle with just one person. Besides, once my jutsu wears off he'll move on. I know because of the way he acts. He's always chasing after girls that are way too young for him. He is always going to the hot springs when he's positive it will be filled with young women.
He told me one day after I caught him hanging out outside my office window that if he wanted to sneak a peek it wouldn't be at an old lady. I've been called old before. It's never a pleasant term for me, but for some reason when it came from his mouth it hurt worse than any other time. Maybe it's because even though I have my appearance up, he still sees me as old. It just shows that my jutsu doesn't even matter anymore. He still sees me as old and unworthy of his peeping.
I remember being peeped at every time it was in the hot springs or changing for a mission. But, he stopped after I almost killed him the one time. So, maybe it's not me being old? Maybe, it's because I almost killed him? Who am I kidding...me beating him never stopped him before. He finally realized that I wasn't worth it anymore.
I turn around hearing a small tap on the window behind me. Jiraiya is standing there waiting to be let in. I stand and open the window.
"Hey, sorry about earlier, he says, entering my office.
"You have nothing to apologize for. You were just being you," I tell him, placing my hands on my hips.
"Tsunade I saw the look in your eyes when I left."
"What look? There was no look." I turn to sit back in my chair but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back.
He pulls me into his chest, wrapping his hands around my waist,"Tsunade-"
"Let go of me, Jiraiya." I warn.
"No, not until you accept my apology." His grip gets slights tighter around my waist.
"I'm not accepting it because it's not needed."
"Yes it is, Tsunade. You're upset because I left. I hurt you and for that I'm sorry-"
"You didn't hurt me! Jiraiya, I'm fine. So let me the hell go!" I yell pushing off his chest to get away from him.
"Why can't you just admit that it bothers you when I look at other women?"
How dare he ask such a question! I pull out of his grasp and walk away from him. "What the hell are you talking about? It doesn't bother me. I know you would love that, me being jealous of you chasing after young women. Jiraiya, are you trying to make me laugh? Now please, if you're done...leave. I have work to do," I tell him pointing to the door.
He walks over to me, "So, that's what this is about. The age thing, huh?"
"What!?"
He goes to wrap his arms around me again, but I shove them away.
"Tsunade, don't you know that those women hold nothing but-"
"Your dick. Yeah, thanks Jiraiya, I already know-"
"Will you listen to me, damn it!"
He never raises his voice at me. Well, at least...not like that.
"Tsunade, I was going to say that they holding nothing, but you hold my heart. I may chase after them, but it's only to fill the hole, but...it's never enough. The only this that will be enough it you and that because you're the missing piece," he tell me, grabbing my shoulders.
"Jiraiya..."
"I don't care about age. I don't care how you'll look under that jutsu. I've seen it before, and let me tell you I liked who I saw there than who I'm seeing now."
"That's a lie! You love young women!"
"That's true, but I liked your real form better because it was actually getting to look at the real you. Ya know something; your older form is just as beautiful as your younger form to-"
Before he can say any more I grab hold of his collar and pull him down to lock my lips with his. He pulls back and looks at me. I smile up at him and he smiles that old stupid smile of his back.
He pulls me closer and I receive the most passionate, mind-blowing, kiss I ever have experienced in my life. After air becomes necessary he pulls back. "Do you believe me?" he asks, leaning his forehead against mine.
I close my eyes and chuckle a little bit. "You know what this means right?" I ask, looking at him.
"What?"
"This means that those other girls aren't allowed to hold your dick anymore," I tell him smiling.
He lets out a loud boisterous laugh, "Crude as ever I see, but don't worry, I don't need them anymore. I have all the inspiration I need right here," he says, pulling me closer and picking me up like he did in the old photo I was looking at earlier. But, instead of fighting him, I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into him.
I feel his hand move down to caress my ass but I reach down and grab his hand and holding it away from my body. "Don't push your luck you old perv," I whisper into his ear and I push away from his hold with my other hand.
Putting me back on the ground, I lightly pat his cheek with my hand and walk back over to finish my paperwork. I know he followed me because I can hear the clunk of his shoes on my floor. He leans over my desk and looks at me straight in the eyes. "Tsunade...you'll never have to doubt yourself again. Oh, and just so you know, you are and will forever be my muse."
Before I can get a word in, he disappears in a cloud of smoke. I smile and look down at my desk to find a slip of paper with a little frog on it. Opening the letting, I read the horrible hand writing that I know all too well.
Tsunade,
It would be the biggest honor if you could accompany me tonight for a lovely dinner that I have planned. If you accept you know how to contact me. Our dinner is set for 8.
Oh, and hopefully if all goes well, you will be able to help me with the next volume to my novel...
At the end of the letter there is a little toad stamp. I smile and put the letter back down on my desk. I pull out a piece of paper and begin to write my reply to the old Toad Sage that has somehow stolen my injured heart and nursed it back to perfection. I don't know how he did it and I don't care because now, I can be with him and I won't have to worry if my appearance slips after a long day because, I know... that he will still love me.
A/N: So there it is! I hope you enjoyed this. I worked hard on it. I hope I didn't get out of character or anything. Thanks for reading and please review!