What If? A Collection of REALLY Short Stories: Breakdown
Summery: Bella is your normal average human being, in love with a vampire. Exactly how much can she take of Edward's stubborness? How quickly can she get fed up, and demand to be changed? Who will win the fight, and who will receive the consequneces?
Her name is Bella. She is a human. His is Edward. He is a vampire. Their love survived many struggles and problems, but will one fight ruin everything? This is after New Moon, and Edward hasn't proposed like he did in New Moon…
Edward and I were sitting in his room, on the black couch of his, alone, talking.
"Edward, can we talk?" I asked, looking up at him. He was sitting on the couch, while I laid, my head in his lap.
Edward threw me a skeptical look, and asked. "Do you want me to leave? Do you want to break up?" Edward asked.
I knew my mouth flew open to say no, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was laughfter.
"Hahaha!" I laughed, somehow falling off the couch. "Ouch. Do you seriously believe that I should break up with you? Come on, you know I love you too much for that, Edward." I said, getting up and sitting on his lap.
"So, what then?" Edward asked. I thoguht for a moment, wondering how to start. I haven't both up this conversation since… god knows when. The last time could have been when Jacob sent me his last letter. When I was suppose to go see him, talk things out. But of course, that was a week or two ago, maybe more, and I have been a good girl by not bringing up the subject sicne then.
"Edward you love me right?" I asked.
Edward rasied his eyebrows at me. "Yes, wait, where is this going?" He asked, giving me a skeptical look.
I gave him a look as if asking to answer the question. He complied.
"Of course Bella. Honey, I'll always love you." He said, kissing my head. "You must know that." He said.
I turned to look at him. "I do know that. And I love you too, so why won't you ch-" But I never got to finish my sentence, because Edward started.
"No." He said firmly.
I turned around in his lap to look at him. "But you don't even know what I'm going to say!" I excalimed.
"No. I know exactly what you want to ask me, and I can't do it Bella." Edward said, closing his eyes, resting his head on the couch.
"You can't do it, or you don't want to?!" I yelled, getting off his lap, and standing in front of him.
"I can't and I won't!" He exclaimed, getting up and walking to the other side of the room.
"Why not!?" I asked, turning around to talk to his back.
"Because I don't want to damn you! I don't want to take away your soul, your friends, your family!" He yelled, turning around.
"Oh! Cut the bullshit Edward! What are you saying?! That you have no life, no soul, family, and friends!" He remained silent, so I continued.
"I feel sorry for you! Truly, how could you love me if you have no soul!? How could you live everyday, with this family behind you, helping you, guiding you!?! You have everything you want, and need! But when I grow up and die due to some god forsaken reason, you'll be dead again! Is that what you want?! To live alone after 80 something years!?" I yelled back, strongly fighting off the tears.
"I can't damn you Bella. I just can't!" Edward said.
"You're not damning me, Edward! If you were, then I wouldn't be asking for this! It's three days compared to an eternity. Eternity! Do you understand what that means?! Do you not love me enough to spend forever with me?!" I yelled, now very close to him. I noticed his charcol eyes, but even that didn't stop me.
"I do love you Bella. More than you'd ever know! And that's why I can't change you! I can't see you in all that pain! It's too dangerous!" He said, facing the wall again, his hands resting on it, trying not to make a dent.
"Edward!" I yelled at him.
"No." He replied firmly. I tried again.
"Edward, please!" I yelled, almost on my knees begging him.
"NO! Bella, enough! I won't and can't change you!" Edward yelled, completely outrage. Well, I started this fight and I'm not going to lose it.
"Fine, then if that's what you want! I'll die insetad! The Volutri will find me! They take me, and change me, and make me feed off innocent blood, and then you'll never see me again! Is that what you want!?" I yelled, my voice in hysterics.
"They won't find you, I promise. I'll keep you safe." Edward said, his voice low and whispered.
"Safe?! You'll keep me safe?! You don't know the meaning of the word safe! You don't want me to be changed, to be with you forever, right? That's the only reason. I'm just a void in your life, someone to pass the time away." I knew it was killing him but it was true.
"NO!" Edward yelled, the loudest I've heard yet, and threw something by my side only to crash into the wall behind me. I froze, and from the corner of my eyes, saw that he took something glass and threw it. My first guess was a lamp, maybe a CD…
"Do you want to be like this? Something dangerous itself? Something that everyone fears, everyone keeps their distance from? Something that has to feed n blood, something like this?" He said, and punch the nearest wall, leaving a good fist sized dent in it. Esme was going to have a fit with that.
But dueto my persistant stubborness, I had to contiue. "You don't care about me. You don't even truly love me." I said, my tears betraying me and escaping my eyes.
Within a millasecond, he was in front of me, his hands gripping my face a bit tightly, but not tight enough to inflict pain. "Don't say that! Don't you dare! How could you doubt my love for you?! How could you, for a split second believe that I don't care about you, that I don't love you!?! Bella, I do love you! With all my dead heart! Please understand!" He begged, his hands letting go of my face, and dropping down to his sides.
I rested my hand on his cheek, and turned his head from me. "I want this. I want this so much, more than anything in the whole world. Please, understand. I don't want to live a normal human life, and grow old or have kids, hell being 18 forever is great, old enough to drive and hopefully to get into clubs or whatever teenage vampires do on their spare time. The point is, if I had the world waiting for me, in my hands, I'd throw it all away just to be with you. Wouldn't you?" I asked.
"I would. I'd give you the world if I could, but please, don't ask me to do this. I'm not strong enough, I could hurt you Bella. If I mess up, one second, is all it takes, and I could easily hurt you. I don't want that, Isabella, please…" Edward said, his hands on mine, holding them between us. He looked away, and yet again I had to force him to look at me.
"You know, I never thought you, you of all people, weren't strong enough. If you love me like you say you do, you'd throw everything aside to be with me, even if it meant my life! You're giving me more than I can ask for! I don't care about anything else! Truly I don't! I just want to be with you! Is that too much to ask?!" I yelled at him, forcing him to turn around, and holding his face in between my hands. Tears stained my cheeks, and fell onto my hands.
"Bella…" Edward said, sighing and looking away once again. He thought way too much….
"Edward look at me." I waited. He did. "You are the most strongest one I know. You love me too much to hurt me, I know you. As for those three days of excruicating pain, well, I've hurt myself enough in the past, to be able to handle this. I would go those hell just to be with you." I said, planting a soft kiss on his lips, and pulling away.
"You'd be in hell if I changed you." Edward said. I threw my hands in the air.
"You've got to be kidding me! Are you serious! Did you not hear everything I just said!? Wherever you are, as long as I'm with you, its complete heaven." I said in a total whisper, but I knew Edward could hear me.
"I can't." Edward said. "I'm sorry, I just can't. I can't be the one responsible for taking away your life! I cant live knowing I put you through that pain, knowing you'll never see your family again! Think about Charlie, Renee and Phil! Won't you miss them?! Never beign able to see them again?!" Edward asked, his somewhat topaz/black eyes looking down on me.
"I will miss them at some points. But knowing I have you will be such a better award!" I said, holding his shoulders in my hands.
"I'm sorry Bella. I really am." Edward said. I nodded my head, tears still streaming down my face, and walked to the door.
"You know, they say, you don't know what you have, untill you lose it. You lost it Edward. You lost me." I said, and walked out of the door, and into the hallway, where I saw every single Cullen standing there. The tears now blasted down my cheeks, and I ran. I ran with all my might, as if I never ran before. I ran past the most caring people in the world, out the enterance, into the slick rain and into my truck. Rosalie had tampered with my truck, making it go really fast now, possibly going at 100, maybe 120. I backed out of the driveway and zoomed down the street, pushing at 90, never going this fast before.
I knew not to drive this fast, especially in this weather, but I didn't listen. I just drove, pushing the truck faster than I ever have before.
I hit the highway, not knowing, nor caring where I was going. The tears blurred my vision, making it hard to see. And then I heard it. A truck's horn blaring. And it was seconds. The light blinded me, making me swere quickly to the right, while I saw my life playing before my eyes.
Renee and Phil, holding me a baby, Renee leaving with me, starting a new life in Florida, movign to Forks, meeting Edward, James, Victoria who was still out there somewhere, Laurent, Jacob, the pack, Edward leaving me, me in depression, Italy, Aro, the Volutri, the meeting, and the fight. I hadn't even said goodbye to edward. Not even an "I'm sorry", or "I love you". My last words to him were, "You lost me." And now, I think he really did…
NOT THE END! It's just the first chapter! Hang in there! REVIEW!!!!
-lovelybella