"Now remember, honey, just because we're going clubbing doesn't mean you have to get drunk," Angela cautioned as she touched up her lipstick. "Just because you're an alcoholic doesn't mean-"
"I know, I know." He ran a comb through his hair. "And same to you, got it?"
"Excuse me?" She turned around, lowered her lipstick and raised an eyebrow. "Since when did I ever down myself in booze over a long-kept family secret instead of coming to the people who loved me and would've helped me?"
"Oh, for God's sake, Angela, that was months ago!" Shawn sighed, coming over to the mirror and wrapping an arm around her. "I'm not the one who gets tispy every few weeks and says a bunch of weird embarrassing things. Like the way you introduced me to that Chinese couple last time."
"And what's wrong with the way I introduced you? I'd think you'd be flattered by that, if you catch my drift," she said playfully.
"Angela, people don't typically introduce their boyfriend as elephant dick to strangers! Even if it is flattering." His cheeks flushed warmly. "Couldn't you have at least picked a better animal? Something a little more realistic? Elephant means I'm probably compensating or something!"
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Shawn, they probably don't even remember it!" She finished with her makeup and grabbed her purse off the nearby counter. "Besides, you introduced me as Chesty LaRue a couple weeks ago, so now we're even."
"Oh yeah..." Shawn laughed. "Good thing you're such a good sport or I'd have slept on the couch that night!" She'd reacted more favorably than he'd imagined...a lot more favorably. "Okay, okay. If you wanna call me elephant dick to new people from now on, elephant dick it is."
"And you can call my Chesty anytime you want." She giggled. "Just wait till we've had a few first or we'll look crazy. And we're not ready to reach Cory and Topanga's level of crazy just yet."
"How will we know when we are?"
"When you can walk around with plastic flowers behind your ears singing show tunes, without noticing everyone's laughing at you."
"Ah, yeah. That was one crazy Spring Break, wasn't it?" He grabbed his wallet and keys, shoved them into the pocket of his leather jacket and followed Angela out the door. The Blue Room called, and so did Cory's phone for a nice bundle of drunk texts later that night.
Or sober texts pretending to be drunk ones.
Either way, the look on his face would be priceless.