It was the middle of the night when Felicity woke up. She felt disoriented and unsure of what had caused her to wake up. She looked around the room, it was still dark, telling her that it was still late at night. She could hear the sound of rain, pounding against the window. She jumped, startled, as the room lit up with a flash of lightning, followed by a loud clap of thunder that echoed against the walls.
Over the noise of the storm, Felicity could hear another sound. She strained her ears, trying to focus on the sound, trying to figure out what it could be and where it was coming from.
"No!"
Her back straightened as the heard the sound again, this time recognizing it as a voice calling out. A voice that she recognized.
Oliver.
Since the team had successfully defeated Damien Darhk two months previously and Thea and John had left, Oliver had been staying at the loft. Felicity had been worried about Oliver being alone, spending all of his time in the bunker, when he wasn't working as Mayor. After a bit of convincing from her end, Oliver had agreed to stay in the spare room at the loft they once shared.
The first few days had been awkward; the pair had be unsure how to live with each other, without actually being together. But as time had passed and the former couple had had many discussions and heated arguments, hashing out the much needed conversations of their past and the mistakes that were made. The awkwardness was replaced with the familiar ease and routine that they used to have. Moving around each other with the synchronicity they used to have.
Each morning, Oliver would wake first, turning on the coffeemaker before leaving for a run. Felicity would wake later, to the smell of fresh coffee. Oliver would return from his run and make breakfast. She would clean up while he showered before heading to the office, to continue his work, as Mayor, to rebuild their broken city. Felicity had been returned to CEO of Palmer Technologies, working with Curtis to help the city in anyway she could.
Felicity pushed her covers back and quickly jumped out of bed as she heard Oliver's voice call out again. His voice grew louder and clearer, as she made her way down the hallway to the spare room. The door was slightly ajar, she pushed on it lightly, letting it swing open.
A flash of lightning lit up the room, her eyes flew around the room, trying to spot Oliver. She was surprised to find the bed empty, the covers were still pulled neatly around the pillows, as if they had not been slept under. The large window was open and the curtains were blowing in the wind of the storm, rain hitting against the floor.
She rushed in, running around the bed, wanting to close the window. She paused at the other side of the bed, startled to see Oliver laying on the floor, his large body was curled into up ball, his knees were bent against his chest. His jaw was clenched tightly, his eyes squeezed shut, a look of distress on his face. It was clear to her that he was caught in a nightmare, his tortured mind, replaying the horrors of his past as he slept.
Felicity took a hesitant step towards him, approaching him carefully. This was not the first nightmare that she had seen him have. Over the months that they had been together, she had woken up countless times to find Oliver calling out in his sleep. Calling the names of the people that he had lost: Tommy, his father, his mother, Shado, Laurel. Other times, it was Thea, John, or Sara. Many nights, however, it was her own name that she heard, screamed from his lips, begging, pleading.
Some nights, the nightmares wouldn't wake her. Instead she'd wake in the morning to find the spot next to her empty. The sheets would be cold, as if Oliver hadn't laid there for some time. Those mornings, she'd usually find Oliver on the couch. He was never sleeping, just sitting there, staring blankly at the wall. There would be a faraway look in his eyes as he relived whatever horrors his mind had created.
Felicity would never push Oliver to tell her about his dreams. Instead she would take the blanket from the back of the couch and pull it around them as she pulled Oliver into her arms. She would hold his head against her chest, gently running her fingers through his hair. Letting him listen to the steady beat of her heart, giving him her support, her silent comfort, for as long as he needed.
After a while, he would relax in her arms, and he would quietly recount the horrors that he had seen, sharing memories of his five years away, what he had seen, what he had done. Felicity never spoke during these moments, just listening, not speaking but, silently wishing that she could take away his pain.
As time had gone on, the nightmares seemed to plague him less and less. Oliver used to say that it was because of her, that he slept better when he held her in his arms. Just being with her, took the pain away.
Felicity moved around Oliver, pulling the window shut, blocking out the storm as much as she could. She knelt on the floor, keeping some distance between herself and where Oliver still lay curled up and shaking on the floor.
Oliver had warned her, on more than one occasion, to keep a safe distance from him when he was having nightmares. He told her how there was a risk that he could wake up, but not recognize where he was. How he might not recognize her. How his brain might think that he was still in danger and he wouldn't be able to control his actions. He had once attacked his own mother when she had woken him from a nightmare.
"No!" he muttered. "Felicity, no!"
Felicity bit her lip, tears rushed to her eyes, she could hear the pain and fear in Oliver's voice. She wanted nothing more than to ease his pain.
"Oliver," she called to him, trying to break him out of his nightmare. "Oliver."
"No, not her," he whispered. "Please."
"Oliver," she repeated and took a small step towards him. "Oliver, I'm here. You're safe. Open your eyes."
Oliver seemed to curl tighter into himself, pulling his knees tighter to his chest, his body seemed to freeze.
"No!" he yelled, his eyes snapped open, wild and full of fear. He jerked up, scrambling into a sitting position. His breath was coming out in shallow pants, uneven and shaky.
"Hey," Felicity called softly, she moved to sit directly in front of him, trying to catch his eye. She still kept a safe distance. "You're okay, Oliver. It was just a dream. Look at me. You're safe. Just breathe."
His eyes flew around the room, but didn't seem to be taking in what was around him, his mind still caught up in the images of his nightmare.
"Oliver," Felicity said in a louder voice, she slid closer to him, her hand outstretched, reaching towards him. "Oliver, look at me. Take a deep breath. I'm here. You're safe."
Oliver's panicked eyes finally met hers, his pupils were blown wide and filled with terror. His entire body was tense, ready to attack.
"Hey," Felicity said, a calm smile on her face. "It's okay. You're okay. Just breathe. Deep breath in. There you go."
Oliver's eyes never left hers as he tried to calm his panic and terror. He reached his hand out to Felicity. She took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb across his knuckles as he squeezed her hand tightly. He held her hand so tightly, that it almost caused pain. But Felicity ignored it, knowing that Oliver needed it, he needed to know that she was here. He needed to know that he wasn't still trapped on the island. He needed to believe that whatever he had seen in his nightmares, wasn't real.
"Just breathe," she coached, her eyes never leaving his. "I'm here. We're safe."
After a few moments, Felicity could see Oliver's body relax, the grip on that he held on her hand loosened and the panic drained out of his eyes.
"There you are," Felicity smiled.
"Sorry," Oliver whispered. His voice was hoarse and he tried to pull his hand out of Felicity's.
"No," Felicity countered, she tightened her grip on his hand. "You never have to apologize for this, Oliver. You have lived through horrible things, things that no one should ever have to. Things that people couldn't imagine, not in there worst nightmares. You don't have to apologize for it. Never. Not to me. Not to anyone."
Oliver tried to smile, but it came off as a grimace. He nodded jerkily.
"Good. Now come on," Felicity said. She stood, still holding Oliver's hand, pulling slightly.
He awkwardly climbed to his feet, following her as he led him from the room. Felicity pulled him down the stairs and stopped in front of the couch.
"Sit," she commanded.
Oliver collapsed onto the couch, his body feeling heavy and tired, the adrenalin from his dream was wearing off. Felicity reached behind him, pulling the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and placed it around his shoulders. She climbed up onto the armrest of the couch She pulled his larger body in between her knees and cradled his head to her chest. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, humming softly under her breath.
Oliver felt his eyes drifting shut, his body relaxing under Felicity's ministrations. He pulled his legs onto the seat beside him, stretching them out. Felicity moved to sit beside him on the couch, resting Oliver's head on her lap, still running her fingers between the strands of his hair. His body grew heavy as he felt sleep threaten to overtake him.
"Sleep," Felicity whispered. "I'll be here."
Oliver sighed heavily, comforted by Felicity's presence and he slowly drifted off to sleep.
