Ack, well, I wanna apologize before hand to the people who are waiting for me to update the Saiyuki story but for some reason it's going really slow but I am writing the next chapter so don't worry I will update! I'll try my hardest!
But this is a little one shot ficcy for my best friend; Sumi-chan and well, I hope you all have fun reading it too!
I originally got the idea from the song, Do I have to say the words? From Bryan Adams and it's the song at the end of the fic and it's the name of it also
Hopefully, it's not too OOC and the storyline's okay! XP
Please read and review!
Oh, and the stupid thingy took away my markers of when Hisoka's view changes to Tsuzuki's and so forth so i hope it doesn't confuse anyone >. I tried to put some extra space between the changes but i don't know if it'll work or not or just make it worse.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei in any way except for my manga I bought of it and my DVD boxset of the anime!
Do I Have To Say The Words?
By YugisGal18 for my friend, Sumi-chan
Tsuzuki sighed heavily as he plopped his head down on his desk, the papers on it getting precariously close to the ceiling, he wrapped his arms around his head as his tired, violet eyes scanned the room full of desks and hard working Shinigami until his eyes alighted on a blonde head a few desks in front of him.
He grinned as he watched the blonde Shinigami, his back was straight, his head was bent down and more then likely he was putting all of his attention and focus on the paper he was working on and the files he was looking through.
He noted that he reached up with his left hand sometimes to flick his blonde hair away from his eyes.
His clothes were always prim and proper. Today, he was wearing a long sleeved, light green shirt and a creamy colored pair of pants and a pair of shiny light brown shoes.
He smiled as he thought to himself, 'That's my Hisoka.'
Tsuzuki leaned back up in his chair, a little mischievous grin on his face as he grabbed a piece of paper on the desk, lightly chewing on his lip as he grabbed a pencil and started to draw something on the paper.
Hisoka could feel eyes on his back but he ignored it cause more then likely it was his idiot of a partner, Tsuzuki, slacking off of his work again and staring at him which he had taken to doing for a week now and it was really starting to unnerve the blonde haired, emerald eyed Shinigami.
It wouldn't bother him so much if it weren't for those eyes…those violet eyes.
He shook himself as he mentally berated himself for letting thoughts of the baka slip into his head while he's working! He should put all of his mind and body into his work. He couldn't allow himself to slip up once!
He growled in annoyance at the persisting little ache in his forehead that had been growing all morning and staring at the paperwork, being around Tsuzuki's hyperness all day and trying to hide when Watari came even an inch too close to his desk or even poked his head in the same room as him, he had been wanting to use him as a guinea pig for a new experiment he had cooked up and well, all of that wasn't helping his steadily growing headache at all!
He reached up and rubbed his index finger in little circles on the little, steadily growing aching spot on his forehead as he resumed writing.
He wasn't writing for very long when he heard a light scrape of something landing on his desk and he looked up, curious at the source of the sound and he raised an eyebrow as he looked at a paper airplane.
He could've guessed where it came from.
Hisoka cast a little glance over his shoulder at Tsuzuki, who was beaming real bright, his smile spreading from ear to ear and Hisoka could feel trickles of happiness, playfulness and even a little bit of anxiousness leaking from Tsuzuki as he turned around to glare at the airplane, reaching out to pick it up in one hand and he gently opened it.
There was a little drawing of a very messy depiction of Tsuzuki, a really big grin on his face as he was reaching down to another very messy depiction of Hisoka, his arms crossed over his chest, a glare on his face, he was pulling his lips back to form a smile and there was BIG letters above it that read, SMILE, HISOKA, SMILE!
Hisoka's eyebrows twitched as he crumpled it up in his hand, if he was a cartoon character smoke would've billowed out of his ears as he reached down, grabbed his pencil and turned around to throw it at Tsuzuki who caught it right on the forehead, making him fall backwards in his chair, crashing to the ground while Hisoka snapped, "Baka! I'll smile when I want to!"
He quickly turned around and he sniffed indignantly. Since he threw his only pencil at Tsuzuki, he turned to sorting through the files on his desk instead. He could finish the report later.
As he was sorting through the files, his emerald eyes would wander over to the crumpled piece of paper still on his desk and he had to catch himself as a side of his mouth quirked up in a little lopsided grin.
Tsuzuki was stunned as Hisoka turned around, throwing his pencil at his forehead, making him slam down to the ground at the brute force of the blow and he was quite grateful to Hisoka for throwing the pencil eraser first and not the other way around.
That would have left a mark.
Tsuzuki hissed at the sharp pain in his butt as he leaned back on his hands, looking at Hisoka with hurt eyes.
Why was it, when he tried to do something to cheer him up and put a smile on his face he'd wind up getting punched in the face, thrown to the ground and stomped on, stuff thrown at him and verbally abused?
He was only trying to make him happy!
Tsuzuki shook it off and he quickly jumped up, dusting his black sleeveless shirt off and leaning down to make sure there wasn't any dust on his black pants and he grinned, grabbing his chair that was at his desk and pulling it over to Hisoka's desk, placing it across from him.
He sat down, leaning his elbows on the desktop as he exclaimed, happily, "Hello Hisoka!"
Hisoka looked up at him, his beautiful green eyes flashing in irritation as he placed the files he was sorting through down on the desk and he snapped, "Are you trying to be put in the hospital! We're supposed to be working! That's why they call it a work place!"
Tsuzuki grinned happily, "Ah, yeah, I knew that already. I was just bored so I thought I'd move up next to you and talk." He was just glad that he was getting to talk to Hisoka and look at his piercing green eyes.
Hisoka looked like he was going to snap some sarcastic retort at him but he surprised him by sighing, reaching up to rub his temple in irritation as he glared daggers at him, "I don't feel in the mood to TALK! So will you please go away?"
Tsuzuki shook his head, "Nuhuh. I'm not budging."
Hisoka growled, "Okay! Just please, don't talk to me just sit there."
Tsuzuki felt triumphant as he nodded eagerly, "I'll just watch."
Hisoka seemed a little nervous at that last remark and he quickly went back to sorting the files and making sure they were going back in their boxes alphabetically.
Tsuzuki tried not to stare at him too hard but it was almost impossible for him to do. He'd been drawn to him ever since they first met, Hisoka with a gun pointed at him and Tsuzuki desperately trying to talk him out of shooting him but it seemed like the last few weeks, it had evolved into something more.
He was simply irresistible!
The way he moved, the looks he gave him with his ever piercing green eyes, the seriousness that he took with everything and everybody, his resistance to his attempts to make him laugh and smile and in those rare little moments when he could see something flicker in the depths of his eyes.
It was addictive. Those eyes, his body, his icy attitude and the heart that lies within.
He wanted Hisoka.
His daydreaming and deep thoughts were screeched to a halt as his head came slamming down on the desk, a box of folders lying on top of him as he whined from under the box, "Soooka!"
He pushed the box off of his head as he rubbed his bruised head, "Ow! Soka! Why'd you do that for?"
He looked up at Hisoka and he grew still, his eyes widened in shock as he looked at Hisoka's bright, red cheeks, he looked like he had been running a marathon and he could hardly breathe.
Tsuzuki felt concerned and he asked, "Are you okay, Hisoka?"
Hisoka snapped, "I'm fine!" He pushed away from the desk, stiffly stood up and glared down at him, "I'm going home. Don't even think about following me!" He quickly walked over to the coat rack, grabbing his coat and hurrying out of the room.
Tsuzuki was still in shock. What had just happened?
After he sat there a long while, pondering why he would leave like that he just dismissed it, leaving it to the excuse that it was just Hisoka and he pushed out from the desk, pulling his chair back over to his desk and bending down to pick up some of the papers he had worked on from the big, huge pile that had been waiting for him to check, write and place in files for a long while now.
He walked down a long hall to Tatsumi's office and he gently knocked on the door, hearing a strong voice rumble in answer to his knock, "You may come in."
He pushed the door open, walking towards the only pieces of furniture in the office, the desk that Tatsumi sat behind and a black swivel chair in front where Tatsumi interrogated his unfortunate victims.
There were a few plants here and there but mostly it was bare except for the imposing desk and the even more intimidating man sitting behind it.
He walked up to the desk, lightly laying the folders on the desk and he slightly bowed, whispering, "Here's the papers I worked on today. I hope I haven't disturbed you, Tatsumi-san."
The clicking of the laptop keys stopped.
Tsuzuki turned around to leave and was on his way to the door when he heard a light voice ask, "What's wrong, Tsuzuki?"
Tsuzuki slowly turned around, a mask of confusion on his face but really his heart beat faster at the chance of getting Tatsumi's counsel on the situation as he asked, "What makes you think there's something wrong?"
Tatsumi smirked knowingly as he leaned back in his chair, his sapphire blue eyes staring into his violet ones as he laid his hands on his desk, pushing his laptop away with his fingertips as he absently tilted his head to one side, "You may be able to hide your feelings from a certain someone but you can't hide them from me."
He nodded his head at the chair in front of his desk, the waning light from the windows shining off of his chestnut brown hair, "Please, sit down, Tsuzuki."
Tsuzuki didn't need to be asked twice as he swiftly slid into the chair opposite of Tatsumi, a big, happy grin on his face as he said, appreciative, "Thank you, Tatsumi-san!"
He was always happy when he could get advice from Tatsumi!
Tatsumi allowed a little smile to tug at the corners of his mouth as he nodded, "You're more then welcome, Tsuzuki."
He pushed on his glasses with his index finger as he asked, "Now, what seems to be troubling you this time? Does it have to do with Kurosaki-kun?"
Tsuzuki nodded, he could almost feel his brain jiggle he was shaking it so hard and fast, "Yeah! I was sitting across from him, watching him work and well, I kind of strayed off into my thoughts and uh…" He paused and looked up at Tatsumi, he knew he had told him that he was attracted to Hisoka but it was still a little embarrassing to talk to him about it sometimes.
Tatsumi raised an eyebrow at him as he waved a hand at him, "Well, go on."
Tsuzuki took a deep breath and plunged in, "I was thinking about how I…am attracted to him. Everything about him enchants me. I feel myself being more drawn to him every day and sometimes I can't stand it. And well, I was thinking along those lines and the next thing I knew, I had a box of files on my head, he was blushing bright red and he was stomping out of the building. What did I do wrong!"
Tatsumi sniffed a little as he stated, "It's very simple, Tsuzuki. He can read your thoughts and feelings. Think about it."
Tsuzuki sat there for a moment and he squeaked as the answer dawned on him, "HE HEARD MY THOUGHTS! What am I going to do, Tatsumi! He'll probably either push me away, ignore me or even worse beat me for the rest of my days."
Tatsumi couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at the thought of Tsuzuki being Hisoka's emotional punching bag for the rest of his life but he quickly assured him, "You don't know that! Give Hisoka a chance. Tell him that you care for him."
Tsuzuki seemed to calm down at that suggestion, a little doubt in his voice, "You really think he'll see me after hearing how I feel about him?"
Tatsumi nodded, "I think he will."
Tsuzuki bit his bottom lip in thought as he nodded, getting up out of the chair and bowing again, "Thank you for the suggestion, Tatsumi! I'll try to tell him!"
Tatsumi smiled as Tsuzuki turned around and headed toward the door, swiftly opening it and closing it behind him.
Tatsumi smirked as he thought to himself, 'If only he knew how Hisoka looked at him then he wouldn't have a doubt.'
Hisoka felt like he had the words, I'M EMBARRASSED BEYOND WORDS, stamped on his back as he hurried home in the waning evening sunlight, his eyes glued to the road and his cheeks still brightly burning from that moment…
He had felt something akin to love, pleasure and a little mixture of wanting surge from Tsuzuki as the words, 'I want Hisoka' flooded through his mind as bright as flashlights in his head.
He had felt a slight edge of joy at what he had felt and heard but there was also a deep feeling of unease.
He knew that he wanted Tsuzuki as well.
The way his smile always broke through all of his cloudy thoughts, the way his violet eyes soothed, calmed him, the feel of his fingers on his head when he patted his head to reassure him of something, the way he even squealed his name in delight or hurt, his protectiveness like a mother hen's and his hunger for everything sweet.
Although he hit him, yelled at him and told him he was stupid for what he did and said, he knew that it wasn't the truth.
He cherished those stupid, crazy and sweet things he did. He would never admit it but he looked forward to seeing him every day at the job and hearing his ramblings, enduring his sweet attacks and stopping his constant bickering with Terazuma.
When he walked into his house, he threw his coat on a brown recliner near his cream and brown colored couch (bad designer, I am, haha XD) as he trudged to the small kitchen, grabbing a small cup from the dish drainer, opening the fridge to pull out a container of green tea and poured himself a cupful.
He put the container back in the fridge, closed the door and trudged back into the living room, looking at the table near the couch where he had left his book this morning near a little stereo where he listened to a mixture of Classical and Rock music while he read and he slowly walked over to the couch, plopping down on the soft cushions as he reached over, pushing the button to turn on the stereo and pushed play.
It was rock music this time, a Bryan Adams CD (I know he probably wouldn't listen to Bryan Adams but please bear with me XP) and he lifted his book from the table, pulling the bookmarker out and he began to read.
It was a story about a hero who had a terrible tragedy in his life and he found redemption from keeping others from experiencing the same hurt and pain he had felt and all the while struggling with a complicated relationship with his sidekick.
Hisoka couldn't help but blurt out, "Sounds like Tsuzuki."
He glared over the edge of the book as he growled, "Blast it all! He's in my frikking head!" He took a long gulp from the glass of green tea and about spit it out as his front door slammed!
He looked surprised as Tsuzuki stood there, leaning on the door, panting for breath, his hair disheveled and his long black trench coat hanging loosely off of his shoulders.
He asked, confused, "Tsuzuki, what are you doing here?"
Hisoka shivered at the intense look in Tsuzuki's violet eyes, as he looked up at him an emotion of determination emanating from him in waves as he answered, "I…I need to tell you something, Hisoka."
Hisoka raised his eyebrows in curiosity as Tsuzuki walked to the couch, sitting beside him, a look of indecision on his face as he turned to him.
The look he was giving him made him shiver once more and he quickly covered it up with folding his arms over his chest, pushing uncertainty out of his voice and eyes as he asked, "Well, what do you have to say to me? I'd like to get this done so I can get back to my book."
One part of him was straining, curious at what he had to say and also a little anxious.
He wished he would say what he had always hoped he would.
Tsuzuki felt like he was going to die as his shaking fingers pulled on his trench coat, straightening it and Hisoka's eyes were so piercing that he couldn't look into them for very long.
Tsuzuki bit his lip again, feeling the soreness from him biting his lip so much today and he inched a little closer to Hisoka as he stammered, "Um…H-Hisoka…I um, I…"
Hisoka looked slightly irritated at him as he prodded him, "Well?"
Tsuzuki sucked in a breath and he mentally told himself, 'You're probably going to regret this."
He gripped his coat in tight, white fists, his eyes squeezed shut as he mumbled, "I…I love you, Hisoka."
Hisoka could feel his heart race and actually could feel it jump for joy as he whispered, "Say it again, Tsuzuki. I couldn't hear you that well."
Tsuzuki yelled, his eyes still shut tight, "I LOVE YOU, HISOKA!"
He was shocked beyond all thought or action as he felt fingers in his hair and on his cheek as warm lips kissed his other cheek; a light voice filled his ears, "I love you too, Tsuzuki."
Tsuzuki opened his eyes, looking over at Hisoka who was smiling at him, a genuine, warm smile and Tsuzuki felt his heart burst with love and affection as he reached over, grabbing Hisoka in a tight hug, his lips finding his in a long, deep kiss.
After a while of kissing, touching and hugging, they broke away their eyes locked on each other's, as Hisoka gasped, "Why didn't you tell me this before today? Why?"
Tsuzuki grinned as he gently brushed Hisoka's blonde hair away from his sparkling eyes as he whispered, leaning his face against his, "I did. It just wasn't in words."
He kissed him and he could feel warm, sweet love envelope him in a tight embrace.
As they kissed, in the background a song softly played:
Rescue me from the mire, whisper words of desire.
Rescue me, darling rescue me.
With your arms open wide, want you here by my side.
Come to me, darling rescue me!
When this world's closing in, there's no need to pretend.
Set me free, darling rescue me!
I don't wanna let you go, so I'm standing in your way.
I never needed anyone like I'm needing you today.
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must've proved to you how good we are together.
Do I have to say the words?
Rescue me from despair; tell me you will be there.
Help me please, darling rescue me.
Every dream that we share, every cross that we bear.
Can't you see? Darling rescue me!
I don't wanna let you go, so I'm standing in your way.
I never needed anyone like I'm needing you today.
Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must've proved to you how good we are together.
Do I have to say the words?
As that song played, Tsuzuki had to wonder if the fates had something to do with it.
It all flew out of his mind though as he was enveloped with the soft touches and sweet kisses from his perfect someone.