"Forgive the subordination but your boyfriend has an order for you. Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."

"Goodbye Garrus. And if I am up there in that bar and you're not, I'll be looking down, you'll never be alone."

"Never."

He shouldn't have been the one to find her body.

The Reaper War was over and they had done the impossible, she had done the impossible, and they had won. When the Crucible fired, the Normandy had been knocked off course and been forced to make an emergency landing on the closest planet. They had taken some damage but it only took the crew a few days to get the ship up and running again, EDI was still unresponsive though. Tali seemed hopeful that she could be restored too if given enough time. Joker had still added her name to the wall of those crew whose lives had been lost despite Tali's insistence that she could fix her. He was afraid to hope after losing his family.

It took longer to restore communications, they were halfway back to Sol before they made contact with the Alliance, and he had been devastated to learn that no one knew what had happened to Commander Shepard after she had fired the Crucible. There were volunteers searching for her and other survivors but so far no trace of her had been found.

As soon as they had landed, the crew had immediately joined in on the search, some on Earth and some traveling to the Citadel. He chose the Citadel. That is where she was when Hackett last spoke to her and she was his priority. The body count had steadily rose as the search crews worked, finding the bodies of those who had not been evacuated in time, most of them probably unable to believe they had been in any danger, but still no Shepard. Both the Council and Alliance Brass were hesitant to verbalize it but most knew it was most likely a recovery mission now and not a rescue but he had refused to give up hope. If anyone could survive, it was her.

As he made his way through his search grid, his mind wandered to the last time he had seen her.

They had been making a run for the beam, dodging Reaper attacks when one hit a Mako and sent it flying. They had scrambled to get out of the way, but he had gotten clipped and he stumbled, leaving him too close to the explosion caused by it hitting the ground. His shields had gotten fried and a good part of his unprotected skin had been singed. She helped him get to cover as he was barely able to stand on his own and his arm, which he had guessed was probably fractured, was screaming at him.

There was no way he could continue and she had ordered an emergency evac for him and James, a risky and selfish move on her part but he would have done the same thing if the situation had been reversed. She had been desperate to save his life. Any other ship would have never made it but EDI and Joker made a damn fine team and somehow the Normandy hadn't been eviscerated by the reapers as they landed near them and she helped him get to the ship.

"You've got to get out of here," she ordered. "And you've got to be kidding me!" There was no way he was leaving her alone. They were a team. There was no Shepard without Vakarian right?

"Don't argue Garrus."

"We're in this to the end."

She started to walk towards him as she spoke, "No matter what happens here, know that I love you and I always will." Her hand cupped his face and he knew that this was her telling him goodbye.

"Shepard, I," he reached up with his own hand and grasped the one on his face, "I love you too." As she pulled away, his arm hung in the air, reaching for her, a silent plea to come back to him. She screamed for them to go and she turned and ran back into the chaos as the cargo bay door closed and he couldn't see her anymore.

He shook off his memories and continued his search. He was tempted to put his helmet on to block out the smell of smoke that still permeated the artificial air. There was a hint of some foul there too but he didn't want to think too much on what it was. He would stop occasionally and use the scanning program on his Omni-tool to check for signs of life but so far there was nothing. He couldn't give up hope. She had to be out there somewhere.

He wasn't watching his footing as he began to walk again and his boot caught on something causing him to tumble to the ground. He mentally cursed as he got to his feet and turned to see what he had tripped on. He was horrified to see a human hand peaking from underneath a large slab, only barely visible to him from this angle.

He slowly made his way around so he could see more of the body, silently praying that the knot in his stomach was misplaced while simultaneously trying to prepare himself for the possibility of his worst fear becoming his reality.

He still couldn't see the face, but he didn't need to. He stood frozen as his brain tried to process what his eyes were seeing, the clear N7 on the armor leaving no doubt as to who he had found. He sank to his knees as his despair hit him full force and no one within earshot would ever be able to forget the sound he made in that moment, as though his very soul were being ripped from him. Truthfully, it was.