Stochastic Sex

by jAnon

Kirk, on Spock: "Mathematicians do it in theory." Spock, in response to Kirk: "Mathematicians prove they did it." K/S, Sulu/Chekov trash talk/humor, pure maths style. If you understand this, huge props to you!

Chekov, on Sulu: "Aerodynamicists do it in drag."

Sulu, on Chekov: "Quantum physicists can either know how fast they do it or where they do it, but not both."

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Spock, on himself: "Logicians do it by choice, consistently and completely."

Kirk, on Spock: "Logicians do it incompletely or inconsistently."

Spock, in response to Kirk: "(Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)]."

Kirk, in response to Spock: "Logicians do it with Jensen's device."

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Kirk, on himself: "Game theorists score most often."

Spock, on Kirk: "Catastrophe theorists do it falling off part of a sheet."

Kirk, in response to Spock: "Game theorists do it with saddle points."

Spock, in response to Kirk: "Chaoticians do it with sensitive dependence."

Kirk, in response to Spock: "Game theorists do it by dominance."

--

Chekov, on himself: "Physicist do it on the event horizon."

Spock, in response to Chekov: "Mathematicians do it homologically."

Chekov, in response to Spock: "Physicists do it with vectors."

Spock, in response to Chekov: "Mathematicians do it on smooth contours."

Chekov, in response to Spock: "Physicists do it at the right moments."

Spock, in response to Chekov: "Mathematicians do it continuously."

Chekov, in response to Spock: "Physicist do it with force."

Spock, in response to Chekov: "Mathematicians do it without limit."

Chekov, in response to Spock: "Physicists do it in waves."

Spock, in response to Chekov: "Mathematicians do it transcendentally."

Chekov, in response to Spock: "Particle physicists do it energetically."

Spock, in response to Chekov: "Mathematicians do it with primality."

Chekov, in response to Spock: "Astrophysicists do it with a Big Bang."

Spock, with the last word: "Mathematical physicists understand the theory of how to do it, but have difficulty obtaining practical results. Pure mathematicians do it rigorously."

--

Kirk, on Spock: "Probabilists do it stochastically. Oh god."

Spock, on himself: "Topologists do it openly, in multiply connected domains."

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Spock, on himself: "Combinatorialists do it discretely."

Kirk, on Spock: "Combinatorialists do it as many ways they can."

Spock, on himself: "Number theorists do it perfectly and rationally."

Kirk, in response to Spock: "Number theorists do it in the critical strip."

--

Spock, on Kirk: "Decision theorists do it optimally."

Kirk, in response to Spock: "Fuck yeah I did that optimally."