The Wake-Up Call
First person. What it's like to wake up the Avengers and get them out the door and ready for a plane ride.
A/N: Funny one-shot. Apologies for any OoC-ness. Hope you enjoy!
My alarm goes off, and I turn over in bed. It's the first night of decent sleep I've gotten in days, and I don't want to wake up early. Why'd I set that alarm again? Oh, yeah. The Meeting in D.C. I snap awake and bolt straight up.
"The Meeting!" I shout. "I'm gonna be late!" I jump out of bed and dash over to the closet. I'm glad I had my outfit already picked out. I put it on, throwing my pajamas on the floor. I'm sure that'll annoy me later, but I couldn't care less right now. After pulling on the top, and slipping into my shoes, I pull my hair back into a simple ponytail. I'm sure I'll be the last one ready. I burst into the hallway...and no-one's there. "What?!" I shout again, but this time in angry disbelief. "Guys, get up! We're late!"
I run though the hallway, banging on doors, shouting my wake-up call. Jan sleepily opens the door and looks out. "Huh?" she asks, not fully awake yet. Other doors up and down the hallway open, their sleepy occupants confused and annoyed by having been woken up so abruptly.
"The World Defense Meeting is today! We gotta go!" I explain rather loudly, hoping to get someone else up with my hurried explaination. Well, get someone else to wake up, anyway. Steve is the next one to chime in.
"Holy smokes!" Of course he would say that. I hear everyone else slowly getting up. I check the time. 8:45. We leave at 9. I sigh. Yet another impossible task. Surprise surprise.
"Tony, get up!" I call. It's always a fight to get him up and out, and I can see from here today's not gonna be any better.
"I'm up, I'm up." he answers, sounding more awake than I thought he would.
"Thor, Vision, up and out to the car!" I order. To my complete surprise, Thor comes out in pajamas. I shake my head, trying to clear it and understand why Thor is in PJs. "Thor, put some decent clothes on and let's go." I see Vision walk out to the car. Well, one of the cars. We're actually going to the airport. I still can't believe it, nor do I know why. Thankfully, we packed all our stuff yesterday.
8:50. Okay, I can't afford to wait any longer. I switch to what everyone else calls 'Drill Sergeant Skylar' mode. It's designed to get everyone up, ready, and out the door as close to the leaving time as possible. It's as rough as it sounds, and I don't get any brownie points for it, but hey, someone's gotta be the bad guy to get us out.
"Natasha, Bucky, Clint, let's go! You three are trained assassins; I would expect you to be able to get ready within ten minutes!" I have no idea how many times I've used this line, but it still works, and you know, if it ain't broke...
"Hang on, hang on, hang on!" Clint shouts back. He comes out of his room, with all his stuff on, but only half done. His hair is still a wreck, his tie is untied, and I think his fly is open. I shake my head and sigh.
Peggy and Steve come out of their rooms at the same time, fully dressed and ready to go. "Took you long enough," I chastise. "Let's go!" They race past me, and I march further down the hall and take up a position closer to the rooms whose occupants are still trying to wake up.
"I've seen first year SHIELD cadets move faster than than you lazy Susans! Natasha Romanoff, you are a senior SHIELD agent! I think it's embarrassing to both yourself and this team that you are incapable of getting ready in fifteen minutes!" She comes out and Gibbs slaps me as she walks past. I kinda expected that.
"Maximoffs, move it! We have-" I look at the clock, "seven minutes! Let's go!" They race out, Wanda first, then Pietro a few moments later. "I know for a fact that you were ready to go five minutes ago. There are video games in the car. Bring a DS, and move it! Thor! Come ON!" I snap, frustrated.
He slowly walks out of his room. WHY is getting them ready to go such a freakin' nightmare?! "Sam! Let's go!" I shout. He dashes out of his room and to the car. Hank follows him out. At least I don't have to yell at him. Bucky comes out a minute after them. Finally.
"We are supposed to be a Class A group, the best of the best, and we can't even get out the door on time?! This is ridiculous and embarrassing! Where's T'challa?!"
"In the car," Natasha informs, still annoyed with me. I turn around and see her grabbing a few PopTarts. Huh. I didn't even see him leave.
"Danvers, let's go!" I call, knowing I'm close to getting everyone out. Just a couple more people to go, but unfortunately, they're the most stubborn and they take the longest to get ready.
"Working on it!" comes her expected and hasty reply.
"On what, your Mario Kart score?" I retort. "Move your ass!" She storms out, and I duck to avoid the Gibbs slap. "Peter Benjamin Parker! We have to go! Now!" He comes out of his room, crawling on the ceiling. He drops down.
"How do I look?" he asks, hoping for a good answer.
"Good enough," I reply. " Get in the car. Banner! Where are you?!"
"Almost done!" he assures, but his classic answer falls on deaf ears, especially since I'm so close to done.
"Do it faster! We have three minutes, people!" He comes out and walks past me briskly. "Rhodey?"
"In the car with T'challa," Bruce answers.
"Ah," I reply. "Jan, do your makeup on the way! We need to go!"
"One more minute!" she pleads.
"No, now!" I hear her sigh and come out. It's 9. Tony still isn't out. I walk in and drag him - while he protests loudly and, occasionally, colorfully - out to the car by by his shirt collar. Once I shove him in, then get in myself and put on my seatbelt, I lean back against the chair and breathe a sigh of relief. Then I remember. "Oh my God! We forgot the luggage!"