Through Your Eyes
By: Stealiana
Every man has a weakness, and for too many, it is women. Thus it seems logical to avoid females in order to prevent vulnerability. But one could also argue women make men stronger - they are perhaps the most inherently demanding creatures to walk the face of the Earth. Tolerating a woman prone to gossip and other useless prattle in an effort to ensnare attention is enough to make an unsuspecting listener's ears bleed. A miserable experience, but the victim comes out all the wiser for it.
Handling the delicately balanced emotions of women is an art, that I will not deny - and it is one I have never been particularly skilled at. As a result, I remained as far away from the creatures as possible. I pride myself in the fact that I do not lie to myself, and I know my own faults. When I encounter a skill I cannot master completely, then I will shun it entirely. Some would call it stubbornness, others, failure. What they forget, however, is that in doing so I never commit myself halfway, nor waste my time spreading my efforts over a wide range of useless activity when I can hone my abilities for a specific undertaking. That is how I fight on the battlefield, and that is how I live. Always to the very apex of my potential.
I never believed I would need such a skill anyway - women were a liability, and that was something I could not tolerate. The only ones who seemed to exist were the fat, nosy old women who beat their husbands into submission and the young, timid, but eligible girls that look like mice. I refused to associate with the mice; they declined coming within several feet of me. Not that I cared, such weak-willed creatures were nothing more than a distraction that lesser men indulged in. I was there to fight.
My purpose in coming to Kyoto was to join the Shinsengumi, a military group recently created on the side of the current government. To oversimplify, the organization was the unofficial police force in Kyoto, with the sole intention of maintaining peace and order. The time was coming quickly when all of Japan would be forced to choose which side they would support, but my decision required little effort. There is no efficiency in destroying a system already in place when all that is necessary is to cleanse the current order of its vice. Reflecting my convictions almost to the letter, the Shinsengumi preached a motto of "Aku Soku Zan", obliterating all evil without hesitation, and had gained support from the government as the revolution began to grab hold. My place in the organization was that of third unit commander, which I settled into rather easily, with twelve men under my sword, two sub-commanders and ten fighters. A relatively small group yields a relatively small headache, and there were always twelve fools to beat if something were to go awry. Then again, under my instruction that never happened.
Everything came with minimal trouble to me in Kyoto as I followed my instincts; it seemed they could not steer me wrong. Thought and reason slid into oblivion as my feral intuition ruled my actions, dictating every move with no lapse for hesitation. In hindsight, it is painfully clear when my vision became clouded and my most fundamental desire for companionship took precedence. One night of unguarded predatory glances left me with a ravenous appetite, a desire for that which I most hated. In spite of all my convictions on the evils of women, my instincts led me, not wholly unknowingly, to a purgatory of patience as my mind schemed of a way to capture the prey my instincts howled for.
Her name was Tokio.
The night was warm and the insects chirped, covering the sounds of our footsteps on the grounds as our legs rustled through the grass. We, of course, refers to the Shinsengumi, and we were flexing our newly acquired muscles as protectors of Kyoto. What we were supposed to protect I did not know, the rooms of the inn were filled with sycophants and politicians whose corruption stank more than a horse's stable. But that's how every government is, and ours was no better or worse. At least there were a few officials I greatly respected, as they, for the most part, kept the less moral in check. They were the ones who hired us, they were the ones who paid us, and they were the ones we reported to. For all the idiots who surrounded them, I found I agreed with those in power. Otherwise, I would not have stayed long in Kyoto, for I have no fondness for fools.
As I paced the estate, I found my eyes wandering to the brightly lit rooms from which all the talking and laughing was drifting into the night. Silently making my way past windows and doors, snippets of conversation filtered to my ears.
"Of course this year…"
"It's like I keep telling him…!"
"No side left for those who…"
"Why, yes, I'll have another drink!"
From sheer boredom, I turned to glance through an open doorway, a young woman next to a much older man, speaking with another couple. The elder man was saying rather obstinately,
"Aizu would never succumb, the rebels don't know…"
"Mm. Yet they insist on trying."
"Yes, and in doing so are throwing all of Kyoto into an uproar."
"But you should have nothing to worry about - it is not your sector."
"True, but my daughter, Tokio," he gestured to the girl behind him. "How can she marry someone in such times? All suitable matches put her in considerable danger, but if she waits too long…"
"Yes," the woman across from him nodded sympathetically. "Don't worry - I'm sure she will find a wonderful husband."
"Thank you," the girl smiled, nodding her head politely.
"Of course she will!" The older man turned to look at his daughter's smiling face. "She will marry a good man, that much I will make certain."
"Well, if all goes well, this whole rebellion will be crushed before it has a chance to grab hold." The other man cheerily raised his cup. "Shall we? Ah, but before I forget, there was someone I wanted your lovely daughter to meet… now where did he go?"
The young woman took advantage of the distraction to put a hand on her father's arm.
"May I get some air?" The older man turned to her, his back to the other two now engrossed in finding the young official they knew.
"Tokio, you are here so you may find a good husband, not so you can hide in a corner!"
She dropped her arm and said nothing, merely watching him blankly. Still waiting for permission. Finally, the man sighed and gave in, her smile indicating her satisfaction at having her way.
I realized I was frowning throughout the entire conversation - then again, whenever I began to think upon a subject my lips turned downward, a habit that kept people from interrupting. Not so tonight.
"Saitou-san?" I glared at Okita, irritated that I hadn't sensed his presence earlier.
"What do you want?"
"To know what you're doing." The boy's smile did not falter, making my glower even darker.
"Patrolling the grounds." I answered curtly, turning to walk again, hoping it would send him off. "What's the matter?" I spoke over my shoulder, my voice flat to keep out my irritation. "Are you afraid to be alone in the dark?" A soft laugh dissipated into the underbrush.
"You see right through my act, Saitou-san." I paused.
"Go away. I don't have time to baby-sit. You have a post, go find it." Care was required; I could not be harsher than usual or he would be suspicious.
"Fine, fine." Okita laughed again, making his way into the shadows. "But if you watch too long, you will start to want things you can't have."
I did not move from where I had stopped, cursing him behind an empty expression. What business was it of his what I chose to do? And why was the petulant child lecturing me when I could tear his limbs apart with my teeth?
I turned back to the open doorway to smooth over my anger, and saw her standing outside, looking rather lost against the huge building. A man approached her, most likely the one the couple had been looking for; they exchanged civilities and he attempted to put a hand on her arm. I was too far away to hear the particulars, but she hastily withdrew herself, glaring at the young man as a clear warning that he should keep his distance. Only moments later, he abandoned her to the darkness.
She was no mouse - that was obvious. Possessing a beauty that was subdued and graceful, she was captivating more so in the cold shadows that flickered about the compound than in the warm lights of the party. I made up my mind to go against the one rule I adhered to aside from the Shinsengumi motto.
She would be mine. I knew what I wanted and I would not be deterred from getting it.