A/N: I've got this idea a really long time ago and it has been in progress for more than a year but now it's here all finished and ready for you to read. I hope will enjoy it and please excuse any grammar mistakes.

Secret Flower

I finally had a weekend off after this long and exhausting week. I decided to visit my mom. The weather was wonderful even though it was a bit cold, but the sun was shining and I felt nice and warm in my leather jacket. On Saturday morning I went for my every day dose of coffee. It was also the only day in that week when I could have had a breakfast. I don't have that much time for breakfast during the week and the only food I eat through the day is the one which Castle brings me. Castle. This week he had shown me once again just how great partner he can be and even quite good ‚cop'. His crazy theory helped us crack the whole case. When I was thinking about that, I coulnd't stop the small smile from appearing on my lips. I know I mean a lot to him. I love him too. Wait, what?! Kate! Come on, focus. You are not ready for it yet! Or am I? I don't even know myself. I've made a huge progress during my last session with Dr. Burke. I had finally been able to express my feelings towards Rick out loud. And now I'm sitting here with coffee cup in my hand smiling like an idiot. I've taken my coffee to go. I also went to buy some candles and right after that I got into my car.

I parked the car in front of the cemetery. Every time I go there I feel huge wave of anxiety taking all over my body. I strolled over to my mom's grave. As soon as I was close enough something odd caught my attention. There were fresh flowers lying in front of the grave. No, not just some ordinary flowers but lilies. Those were my mom's favourite and so are mine now. It was weird. Really weird. Dad was out of town for two weeks so it couldn't be him and I never really told anyone where the grave is located or which flowers me and my mom liked. Suddenly I heard a really strange sound from behind near tree. It had been only just a leaf rustling but taken that there wasn't any wind, it was suspicious. I just shook my head thinking it was nothing and lightened up the candle before putting it on the grave. I was standing there moving mom's ring between my fingers and just thinking.

„Hi, mom. I just want to tell you some news. I had another therapy session yesterday and I made a huge progress. For the first time since the shooting and in my life I was able to admit that I had fallen in love. That I had fallen in love with Richard Castle. I love him," I whispered. From behind that suspicious tree I heard someone coughed and then the person started walking over to me. It was Castle. I was in abslute shock.

„What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled at him full of anger and confusion. Castle had just defensively lifted his arms in the air and came closer to me.

„Were you following me? Or why are you even here?"

„No, I wasn't following you. I just wanted to bring your mother flowers. I know it shounds stupid and it probably even is stupid, but I… I'm sorry," he said surrenderedly. Damn it. Why is he doing this? Why does he have to know how to get under my skin?

„It's kinda sweet, Castle. But I still don't have any idea why you are here."

„I can explain it to you but you have to promise me to let me finish without any interruptions."

„Okay, fine. I will listen to you. Come on, let's go to my car," I said a bit calmer this time. After all it was quite nice gesture and in fact he didn't do anything that bad. We had slowly walked over to my car and got in.

„No one's going to hear us here, so spill the beans."

I knew that Rick was extremely nervous. I mean is it that bad? He only put flowers on a grave.

„Okay, so I haven't been feeling really good these last few weeks. Alexis is going to leave for university soon and my mom is always gone. And I have too much time to think. I realized for how many people in my life I'm grateful and one of those people is you. And since your mother is responsible for your being in this world I felt like I owed it to her. I remembered that one time you said where your mom's grave was and even what your favourite flowers were. That's why I'm here today. I wanted to give her those flowers. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you in any way."

Wow! I wasn't at all expecting this. I've never seen this side of him before. He's sitting right here next to me with his head lowered waiting for my reaction.

I grabbed his hand and he looked at me with his baby blue eyes. He looked like a lost puppy, he really was sorry for his action.

„Castle, I…I have no idea what to say. Thank you. Thank you for explaining, for the flowers. I'm not mad at you, at least not as much as you think I am."

This brought a smile to his face and I couldn't do more than mirror his smile. We were just sitting in car. Many people would find this crazy and creepy but we didn't mind at all. We haven't talked, we were just holding hands with smiles on our faces.

„Are you hungry?" I asked him. Enough of not talking. I don't wanna be sad now.

„Actually yeah, I am. Burger and shake at Remy's?"

„Yeah, great idea. Let's go," I paid him a smile and went back in town centre. The whole journey I was pretending that I hadn't seen Castle watching me quietly. When we finally arrived at Remy's, we found our usual spot and ordered our food.

„What exactly did you hear at the cemetery? When I was talking to my mom."

I was trying so hard not to show my nervousness. What if he found out that I had lied to him? What if he hates me now?

„I've heard enough and I'm not angry that you lied to me. I suppose that you had good reason to do so and I hope one day you're gonna tell me everything but for now what I've heard is enough," said Castle disturbing me from my thinking. I lifted up my head to him. He once again had that nice smile put on. Yea, Castle is charming.

„I want to explain, partially at least."

„Kate, you don't have to do this if you're not ready. I know you need more time."

„No, I wanna tell you. Even though I'm still not where I want to be, I'm working on it. I'm seeing a therapist, you know to help me gather my thoughts. Yes, I still need time to accept everything the shooting has changed but it's better than it used to be months ago. I have to admit that you're helping me as well even though you're probably not realizing it but you're helping me get better."

We smiled at each other and tangled our hands together.

„If you want, we can take it slowly, step by step. You know a lot. You know I have feelings for you. Maybe we could try it," I said biting my lip nervously. Rick was surprised, beyond surprised.

„Kate, really, you don't have to do this just because of me. I'll wait till you're ready."

„No, no! I don't wanna wait. I don't wanna dance around each other like we don't have mutual feelings. I think that occasional date can't hurt, right?"

With the word ‚date' I started blushing like a teenager and felt like a dumbass. I was so submerged in my thoughts that I haven't even noticed that our food and drinks already arrived.

„I was so not expecting this," Castle said suprisingly, „soo this could be our first official date, couldn't be?"

„I could be," I said with another smile already appearing on my face.

What is going with me today? It seems ike I can't stop smiling since Castle told me the reason to visit my mom. Of course I was angry with him at first but it faded away.

„So Miss Beckett, can I accompany you on your way home?" asked Castle.

„You do realize that since we used my car and I'm driving, I'll be the one accompanying you on a way home. Or maybe we could go over to my place."

That actually caught his attention.

„We could have a cup of coffe or have glass of wine and watch a movie, but nothing more, okay?" I warned him.

„Yeah, of course I understand. I'm just really surprised and overwhelmed. I would never ever be able to imagine this and I'm world famous author. This all is crazy, we are crazy but it's amazing!"

He sounded so thrilled and oh my god he was just so cute. I wanted to kiss so badly but I had known I wasn't ready for that then.

„Shall we go?" he asked after paying for both of our meals. I only managed to to nod and small a little.

When we finally arrived at my place, I let Rick chose a movie and went to change into something more comfortable. After I had come back to living room he was already sitting on couch with my lap top on a coffee table. I had opened a bottle of red wine and poured each a glass, before joining him on the couch. When I saw what movie he had chosen I just shook my head. Charlie and the chocolate factory. Only Richard Castle can chose this movie for a date.

After few minutes into the movie I snuggled closer into him and he pulled me even closer with his arm around my body. My brain was going crazy yelling at me: „YOU'RE NOT READY FOR THIS YET. DON'T GIVE HIM ANY HOPE FOR SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT READY FOR. THIS IS YOUR FISRT OFFICIAL DATE EVER AND YOU ARE ALREADY CLINGING ONTO HIM? KATE, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"

But I didn't care about any of that. I didn't want to wait for the wall inside me to come down. Castle has already gotten through it anyway.

I was lying in Castle's arms and just didn't care about anything. It was nice.

I must have fallen asleep some time during the movie because tha last thing I remember from that evening is Rick slightly kissing me in my hair and strenghtening his grip around me.

THE END