I can't tell you when it started. However, I can tell you the first time I realized it. I was walking along the sidewalk just a normal simple and easy day here in Storybrooke. Which honestly isn't typical but it's nice while it lasted. Anyways, I am walking along and all of a sudden I hear.
"Pongo no stop!" Archie shouted from up a head.
Well as the Sheriff this is part of my job. So I jump into action and start after the dog. As he hightails it towards the pier I know exactly where he is going. Now, if you had asked me then I would of told you that I had no idea that she would be there. However, deep deep down I knew she was and apparently so did Pongo. As he dove for her feet she quickly grabbed his leash.
As she bends down to pet him I hear her hushed voice. "Hello dear and how are we this morning?" As she continues to scratch his head I skid to a stop in front of them. Pongo just gives me a look as if to say 'don't you wish you were me.' In that moment I wished I was him. I would love to have the attention of a women like that. As I shake the thought from my head I look up at her. And my breath catches in my throat. She has the most amazing smile on her face. For the first time I see it light up her entire face. I can see that innocence that she hasn't had for years. I mean honestly I don't anyone remember how long it has been since she looked so free.
"Hello, Sheriff." She says with a grin.
"Oh, Regina thank you so much. I hope he didn't cause any harm." Archie replies from behind me.
The sound of his voice shakes me from my inner monologue about the mayor. "Hello, Madam Mayor. How are you this evening?" I say as casually as I can. In my head it's screaming at me 'what the fuck was that swan?'
"Oh, Archie you know Pongo would never hurt me. He must of known I needed to see him today." She said casually but I could hear the hurt in her voice.
"Well Regina if you need anything you know where to find us." He replies just as casually but I could tell there was a hidden meaning there. They were hiding something but it was not my place to pry.
"Thank you Archie. Bye Pongo." She stats as she bends down to pat the dog one more time. As she straitens up they start to walk away. "And my day is going OK sheriff how about yours?" she asks as the mask goes back up.
As I look into her eyes I see what she is trying to hide. And all I feel is the intense need to make her feel better. To make her pain go away. Then I realize that these feelings are not new they have always been there just buried deep down. "I'm doing alright Regina. But I have this small feeling that you aren't telling me the truth. You know my special ability and everything." I say with a charming smirk hoping that I can get her to talk to me.
I see the inner turmoil as she looks at me. I can see the gears turning she is trying to figure out what exactly she gave a way to me. "Emma I promise everything is OK. Its just not the best day in the world. Just a few memories I would rather forget." She says praying I would leave her alone. It's almost as if I can see what she is thinking.
"Well if you need help forgetting or a distraction of any kind I am always here Regina." I say nonchalant hoping she will keep talking to me.
"And why is that exactly I mean don't y'all have some celebrating or something to do tonight." As she said the words I could tell that that had something to do with what was wrong with her. I had no idea what she was talking about however. That might be because I have been avoiding my mom's calls all day.
"What are you talking about I didn't know we were celebrating anything." I said obliviously.
"Well then maybe you should talk to your mother. I must be going I'm very tired and Henry will be home soon. I'll send him to Granny's after he does his homework. Will you walk him home after the festivities?" She asks.
"Of course" I said still not understanding what exactly is going on. She starts to walk away and I grab her wrist. "I hope your day gets better Regina. But if you need something please call."
As she turns to look at me I catch a glimpse of something in her eyes. The emotion is one I haven't seen since the day she poisoned Henry with the turn over. That emotion was regret and self-hatred. "I will Emma have a good day. Bye." She says finally walking away.
As I watch her retreating body I realize that I need to call my mother. As I grab my phone out of my pocket it starts to ring. 'Speak of the devil.' "Hello Sheriff Swan." I answer use to it by now.
"Emma why haven't you answered all day." My mother asks through the phone.
"I've been busy mom what's up?" I ask
"Well seeing as its the anniversary of when the curse was cast we were planning a party. Just wanted to let you know. It will be at Granny's tonight at 7." She says as casually as possible.
"Wait...what? Mom did you tell Regina this." Praying in my head that she wouldn't be that stupid. But then again she is Snow White.
"Well yea I know that Henry would want to go. So I invited both of them. Why did she say something?" She ask oblivious to what she actually did.
"Not in so many words but I can't believe you didn't realize how wrong that was mom. This is the anniversary of when she killed her dad. This is the anniversary of when she did the one thing that made Henry hate her for so long. You just don't think sometimes do you mom?" I say trying to figure out how I can fix this problem. "Look I have to get off the phone now and see if I can fix this problem." I hang up without waiting for a reply.
As I head towards Mifflin Street I try to think about what I can do to fix the problem. As I walk past the pizza place I get an idea. So I stop in. I get two pizzas one with everything and one with all veggies. I mean it is Regina we are talking about. Then I stop in at the video store and pick out two movies a nice action movie for me and Henry and a romantic comedy for Regina. I noticed last time I was there she seemed to have a secret stash of them. Once I got everything I realized it was almost four. So then I went in the grocery store and bought some soda and popcorn for Henry. Then stopped at the wine selection. Since I don't know much about when I got a decently priced bottle and headed to check out. After everything was bought I continued my trek to the mansion. As I reached the front door I took a deep breathe and ran the bell. Once I heard the sign of her high heels I held my breathe.
"Miss Swan what is all this?" She asks once the door is open.
I smirk and look into her eyes. I see the elation but also the hesitation. "Well I thought since you don't want to celebrate we could have a family night together with the kid." I say hoping she don't kick me out.
"Well I guess that would be acceptable for tonight. Let me get Henry." She says as she lets me in. "Henry" She says as she walks into the kitchen with me behind her. "Your mother seems to think we need a family night. What do you think? Unless you want to go to the part." She says innocently and I am hoping he can hear her want in the voice as much as I do.
"Yeah mom I like that idea." He says as he turns to look at me. A light in his eyes. " I already told you I wanted to stay home with you anyway. Hey ma how was your day." He says with that same charming smile that he got from me.
"It's been good but I have a feeling its about to get better. So lets take all this into the living room and get set up." Henry grabs the stuff to take in the living room. She goes to grab plates and I shake my head. "The only thing we need is two wine glasses. It's time you eat like the peasants your majesty." I say with a smirk on my face.
"Oh is that so princess? What makes you think I would ever let you?" She says slipping into that normal roll of banter that we always have.
"Because your majesty you can't resist me and my charm." I say with a laugh.
She just scoffs. "We will see sheriff." She says as she grabs the wine glasses.
"Come on moms." Henry says from the door way
"Coming dear." She answers flashing me a smile before walking out with me following behind her.
As we get settled Henry starts the action movie. As he settles he turns to me. "Why did you get the other movie?" He asks grabbing a slice of pizza.
"Well I got that in case your mom wants to watch after you go to bed." I say matter of fact showing her the veggie pizza I got her. The smile she gives me makes my heart melt. I would do anything to keep getting that smile from her.
"Oh well that was thoughtful of you." Regina says.
"Well you know me. Always a charming." I say laughing as she slaps my arm.
We all start getting quite as the movie starts. So we eat and enjoy the movie as the night goes on. Once the credit starts to roll. Henry turns to us. "I'm going to to go play video games until bed time." He says getting up to give his mom and me a hug. As he leans into me he whispers "Talk to her I know what today is. She isn't going to lean on me but she will you."
"I will try" I whisper back at him. "Good night Kid." I say load enough for her to hear.
As he walks upstairs I help her gather all the trash. As we walk into the kitchen I trying to figure out how to broach the topic but then.
"Emma just ask. I know you are wanting to." She says as if she can read me as well as I can her. But then again we have been doing this so long maybe she can.
"Are you OK?" I ask. Honestly that is all I want to know is rather or not she was OK.
"Honestly no I'm not. I had forgotten what today was. I was enjoying the day until I ran into your mother. And then everything came crashing back. Like a tidal wave of regret and pain and self hatred all at once. The only thing I could do as she rattled on and on was smile and nod. Like what she was saying wasn't tearing me apart at the seams." She says as the tears start to fall.
I don't even register who moves first. But all of sudden I have her in my arms. Her face is buried in my chest and I lean down. "Just let it out Regina. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." I say as the sobs get worse. I know she needs to let it out. So I stand there and let her. As her sobs start to die down and turn into hiccups I pull her from my chest to see her face. "You want to go into the living room?" I ask.
She nods her head. So as she heads that way I grab the wine bottle and follow behind her. As she settles I put the movie in just for a distraction if she needs it. I hand her the bottle as I set down. She takes a long swig out of it and hands it back. After sitting there for a few moments I turn to look at her. "Will you tell me about him Regina?" I ask quietly hoping not to offend her.
She looks me in the eyes for a few minutes then looks down with a smile on her face. "My father was an amazing, loving, and caring man. You would of liked him and he would of liked you in return. He might of been a coward at least when it came to my mother but he loved me and I knew that. He is the reason why I knew that I could be a good mom. Even if Henry didn't always see that. My father is one of the few reason why I could never believe my mother when she said that love was weakness. Around him I never felt weak. He always held me above everyone else. He also showed me that he thought I was amazing and wonderful even just as I was. I honestly think if my mother didn't have magic my life would of been a lot different even if she wasn't." She says as she continues to look at her hands.
"I think he sounds like an amazing man. Regina one thing you need to know though. Is even if he wasn't there for you; you would of still been an amazing mom to Henry. Mainly because you know what not to do. And as far as I have always been able to tell you are the type of mom I would pray for when I was his age." I say trying not to show all of my vulnerability in what I was trying to say to her. Then I saw the flash of that self-hatred again. "Gina please don't think that I still blame you. I know today is the anniversary but I don't blame you. I know that my parent's are the ones who put me in that word robe. You didn't, they could of tried to keep me if they just tried. Then we could of stay together even if we were cursed."
"Emma you do realize that if you hadn't been put through the wardrobe you never would of been able to break the curse. Your whole family and friends would of stayed cursed. Nothing would of never changed. Also you never would of had Henry. And that alone I'm thankful for. That is why its so hard for me to be upset about what I did. If I never did I would of never had Henry. I would of never had the chance to shape and mold him see this amazing man that he is becoming." She says trying to gauge my reaction to what you said.
"That right there is why I don't want to see your self hatred. I want you to understand that some good did come to the decision that you made. It was not perfect and sunshine and rainbows but life isn't like that anyways Gina. Everyone has parts of their lives that aren't good." I say with a smile.
"Well thank you Emma." She says glancing at her hands.
I just can't stand it anymore. I lift my hand and put it under her chin. I raise her face to mine so her eyes will look at mine. "Gina I am serious I am happy for what you did and I'm glad that the curse happened. And do you want to know why?" I ask.
"Yes." She says quietly.
"Because I got to meet you." I say as I lean in and kiss the side of her lips. As I barely graze I hear her gasp. As I look up into her eyes I see them start to darken. With an emotion I have never seen pass through her eyes. An emotion I have seen in others eyes but never hers. As I realize the emotion I go to lean in again and she stops me.
"Miss Swan, as much as I would like to see how awkward this was about to get. I think that we should wait and see where this might take us but I don't want to rush it. With you I want to take my time." She says looking just like the young Regina I imagine in my head.
"If that is what you want your majesty then your wish is my command. But that would mean that I really should be headed home." I say as I get up and grab my jacket. She stands to walk me to the door.
"Emma thank you for checking on me. For realizing that I needed a friend or well family to help me through this." Regina says as she opens the door.
"Gina I swear anytime you need me then just call or whatever." I say as I step onto her porch. I turn around to look at her and my breath gets caught in my throat. I've never seen her so beautiful. "You are so beautiful." I gasp as she looks up at me.
"Thank you Miss Swan but wooing will get you no where." She smiles with a glint in her eyes. I hear that easy banter again.
"You are welcome Madam Mayor. Just you wait and see what kind of wooing I could show you." I say stepping off to leave her with that for the night.
As she turns to go back inside I realize that today was not as uneventful as I thought it was.