Chapter 1

A swift push of the blanket and she was out the bedroom door within four seconds. These nights were becoming routine lately. Yet, she wouldn't go to a therapist about it and she wouldn't confide in anyone else but herself. If she'd speak to nobody, what else was I supposed to do? Have her lose trust for me when I made it so far into breaking down the walls? I promised her that I wouldn't push her limits with opening up old wounds. I wasn't going to beat a dead horse. So, I let her walk off when she had nightmares. I gave her space and allowed her to relax before she came back to bed. But tonight? Tonight, was different. I felt the atmosphere change when she woke up breathless and in a cold sweat. I felt the shifting of her body motion before she even gasped for air. So, tonight, I told myself to make an effort and go calm her down. She needed to let me in a little more… She needed someone to lean on.

Her back was towards me, the moonlight caressed her face ever so gently. "Kate," I started. I wish I was better at this… Better at knowing how to fix her… How to take away all the pain and terrible memories that haunted her at night.

"Rick, I need space."

I couldn't just let her deal with this alone - not again. "What was it about this time?"

"It was the usual." Her voice was hoarse, under her eyes were black. She wasn't getting enough sleep and she definitely wasn't handling stress the way she should be.

"This was different, Kate. Don't you lie to me. I think I know you well enough to know when you're putting on a show to please others."

"It was you this time," a sob tried hard to stay within her throat. Kate tried way too hard to satisfy others. She would rarely cry in front of someone. That was a wall she formed. She never allowed others to see that she was "weak".

"Kate, you know that I know when you're not okay. It's alright to cry. It doesn't make you weak." My words were soft and subtle, but she'd get the message if she listened hard enough. I just wanted her to be all right.

"My nightmare… Instead of him,it was you. You were in his place. The entire thing that happened those years. I saw you in his place. It was the most frightening thing in my life, Rick." She turned to face me, tears rolling off her cheeks with no way of being unnoticed.

He ruined her. Scratch that, she wasn't ruined. She had a bit more than bumps and scratches (no sick pun intended) but she was Kate. She was my friend - well, that's what she called us.

"Kate, I'm not him. I wouldn't do that to you or Layla."

I tried to walk forward, hoping my presence wouldn't be too much of a burden, and to show her I only needed a small amount of trust… Just enough for her to continue talking to me about such a touchy subject.

"I know, but… I don't know, Rick. I'm so screwed up and now that he's around… I don't know his plans with Layla," she confessed with a low, confused sigh.

"I will make sure that Josh stays away from you both. I promise I'll keep you safe."

Kate wrapped her arms around my torso. Warm tears soaked into my white short sleeved shirt. Before she could even apologize for the pool in the middle of my chest, I held her a little tighter - keeping the "friend zone" in mind and rocking her back and forth.

Layla crashed yet another toy into a glass cup, yet another cherry smoothie soaking into the white carpet.

Before Kate could even think of a coherent response to her little girl's actions, Layla began to tear up and apologize like a broken record.

I handed Kate a towel from the closet and grabbed the carpet cleaner from under the sink.

"Lay, you have to be more careful, sweetheart."

Layla just nodded, wiping tears off her face with the back of her pajama sleeves.

"Lay, why don't I go turn on cartoons in the room?" She glanced up and me with swollen eyes. That was enough of a response for me. I scooped her up into my arms and took her to her bedroom.

"Well, I finally got the carpet cleaned. I'm extremely lucky I saw it when I did. Hell, if I missed the spots every time, my carpet would look like a rainbow of smoothies and strange toddler snacks," she laughed, wiping her hands on another towel and glancing across the room to her sleeping child.

"Yeah. Well, I can't imagine how many times you've heard her apologies for ten minutes straight. Especially with her intelligence! Sheesh, I bet that chatterbox was talking since she was born!" I let out a laugh with her. Though I've only known Layla for a little more than six months, I still cared very deeply for her. And I cared just the same for her mother.

Just about 10 months ago…

He tore his eyes from the child in a Wow-Wow-Wubbzy t-shirt, "Kate?" He looked up at her.

"Josh," she gasped.

He was utterly shocked.

"Daddy?" the small girl whispered.

His eyes widened, "Holy fuck…"

"Josh, you need to back up. Stay away from her." Kate retreated backwards with her baby girl held close in the cart.

"Kate, I haven't seen you in years. God, you still look as gorgeous as the day we got married." He breathed out euphorically.

"Josh, I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not your wife, and I'm not someone you need to be speaking with."

Kate tried to find some way of escaping the store without any way of him following her. For God's sakes, she just couldn't get a break this week. And Layla, she needed to make sure Layla was protected. She couldn't just have Josh coming around and hurting her precious baby.

"Kate, I just want to make amends. And from who I'm looking at," his eyes darted towards the smiling little girl, "it looks like she's most likely my baby. What is she? Four, five?" He reached his arm out to touch her leg.

"Stay back." Kate swatted his hand. She tried not to show her fear of him.

Josh put both palms up, not daring to get her angry. That wasn't his intentions anymore. He was a changed man who just wanted peace with his ex-wife and possible baby girl.

"She's absolutely beautiful," he smiled at the bouncing toddler and locked eyes with Kate once more. "Look, I just want to make things right. I still love you, Kate. Even if you don't love me. I'm a changed man. Therapy, and life events changed my ways. I know more now than I ever did before. I just need you to see that."

"Josh, I could care less about your changed ways. I want you to leave me and Layla alone. You have no right to call her yours when you weren't here for her and to be honest, with the man you were - or still are - I wouldn't want her raised around you regardless. So help me, if you even try to touch us, I will call the police." The threat was tough, fear did not escape through the loops of voice when it came to protecting Layla. She wasn't going to allow Josh to hurt Layla the same way he had torn her up years ago in that distraught marriage.

She managed to leave the cart and make her way to the car before Josh had any way of following them. Hopefully her words were clear enough to him. She didn't want to have to see him anytime again.

Groceries would have to wait for another day.

Sigh, another day of having time with my daughter and off work, she muttered to herself.