Flashing an evil grin at the bound human, though she highly doubted that the crowd possessed a keen enough eye to spot the difference between her current expression and the default expression of her race, Kodos slithered up to the podium and cleared her throat before addressing her mostly yellow skinned audience.
"Human inhabitants of Springfield, I am Kodos of the planet Rigellian 7. For nearly 3 decades, my brother Kang and I have watched your primitive society with interest, and have seen your kind revolve around the actions of a small, but surprisingly influential family group. It does not matter that their socio economic status is somewhat lesser than many of you, nor does it interest us that the male members possess intelligence levels that are considerably lesser than that of the females".
Pointing a tentacle at the lowly muttering crowd, the female Rigellian boomed out with her masculine sounding voice.
"Silence. You earthlings will have your chance to talk amongst yourselves soon enough. Now, as I was saying, the antics of this family have always amazed us, but in the last decade, we have watched in growing concern as the humor they had once brought to us began to become petty, and then finally out right annoying. But fear not, we have finally formed a solution that will hopefully achieve the outcome we so desire. And that in part is why you all are here".
Allowing the crowd another moment to talk amongst themselves, this time with more excitement than before, the one eyed aliens were greeted with the sight of one the town's more secondary, thought nonetheless recognizable inhabitants rise out of his seat to cajole them.
"I'm not buying it. You mean to tell us that you actually enjoy watching Homer make a complete idiot of himself? I mean, I do too, but that's only because I would have gone out of business years ago if it wasn't for his alcoholism".
Waving the rather rugged, and they were being generous when they used that term, bar keep to sit back down, and taking the mic from his sister, Kang proceeded to answer the relevant question.
"Indeed we do. Countless millions have been raised watching the antics of the family of one Homer Simpson, and it is because of that that we are here today to discuss a very serious problem".
His words earning an unimpressed huff from one of the few inhabitants of Springfield whose obesity surpassed that of the bald headed patriarch of the Simpson family, Kang remained silent as the pony tailed comic store owner made his opinion known.
"Oh please. How anyone, let alone millions could, willingly watch the antics of a balding, overweight alcoholic whose parenting could be considered inadequate at best"?
Pleased at the opportunity to ask that question, for it led quite nicely into the purpose of this meeting, Kodos answered the question before her brother could.
"You'd be surprised. And that is precisely the reason for why we are here. Because for too long, the actions of the Simpson family have revolved around the issues of perhaps the most irritating members of their family group. And since this chain of events appears to be never ending, we have come to do what countless others undoubtedly wish to do, but have been denied the privilege of witnessing due to some quirk fate".
Waving her tentacle in a dramatic fashion, and nodding in approval as her brother anticipated her movement by shining a beam of light on the bound members of not only the Simpson family, but also those who had proven to have their own regular moments of annoyance, Kodos beamed with delicious glee as she announced the reason why they had been gathered.
"Puny earthlings, and those who possess the ability to watch these proceedings without physically being here, I present to you, THE ROAST OF THE SIMPSON FAMILY AND FRIENDS".
...
Hey everyone, hopefully you all enjoyed this intro. Hopefully I'll be able to update regularly, but if not due to other commitments, I will ensure that the chapters are well written.
Anyways, the idea to do this story came to me as I was watching some rerun of one of the older episodes, the one where Krusty and his father reunite, and the one where Bart works to save money for a comic book in case anyone was wondering, and found myself comparing it to the drivel that is now being introduced. The newer episodes still have some good plots, and of course the tree house of horror is always good, but the series is either constantly trying to make Lisa more popular (that episode where she gets pissed at her mother about not liking Jazz being an example), or revolving around the antics of Marge.
Now, I confess that they have never been my favorite characters, Lisa being a tad too preachy, and Marge just because her naivety/lack of common knowledge is rather pathetic, not to mention her nagging, the fact that she ruins the fun of the family, and adopts moral crusades that no one could care less about, but until recently never been inspired to write a story to bash the most unpopular characters in Simpsons history (Lisa is #1, Marge #2).
But now that I've finally found the inspiration to write something like this, I fully intend to mock/bash everything that they have done for my amusement XD.
Also intend to do the same to pathetic characters like Principal Skinner, Helen Lovejoy, Millhouse, Flanders Children (up in the air about Ned himself) and others.
Will be hosting a poll on my profile to see which characters you want to be bashed the most.
Reviews (NOT FLAMES) are always welcome.
And look forward to the next chapter XD