Will walked into their bedroom and hoped tonight wasn't like the previous nights he'd experienced since Mackenzie had taken medical leave. He was hoping that she was tired out from her physical therapy, but when he looked at her he knew his hopes were for naught. Mac was sitting on their bed with notebooks out and her laptop in front of her. Why couldn't she simply concentrate on getting better?

They were four weeks post surgery. Mac had been doing physical therapy for two weeks now. She was getting stronger and she was feeling better than she had in years. The struggle now was for Will to keep her from doing too much.

"Hi," he said sitting next to her and kissed her.

"Good show tonight."

"It's still a struggle every day, Kenz."

She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. "I know it is, but it won't be too much longer until I'm back at work and it will be me back in your ear."

"I can't wait. What do you have for me tonight?"

"Go grab your dinner, I ordered Chinese and yours is in the refrigerator."

"Thanks, that sounds good, right back," he said getting off the bed. As he was about to leave the room he turned and asked, "do you need anything?"

"No thanks."

When he returned a few minutes later she had spread out the information she'd gathered today and was preparing her pitch.

"This is really good. Did you order from a new place? It tastes different."

"The normal place was closed today for a private party, so I did order from a different restaurant and I think I like it."

"The food tastes fresher. Maybe we have a new favorite place?"

She smiled at him. "We might. Why don't you change and finish your dinner and then we'll talk about what I've found out about today."

Will put his dinner down and walked into his closet, grabbing sweats and a t-shirt and changed. He was back a minute later but that was long enough for Mac to sneak a few bites of his dinner. She smiled at him and handed him the carton as he sat down.

"Want some more?" he offered.

"No, I'm good, thanks," she said and kissed him.

"So what have you been up to today?"

"Researching how NGOs, such as Médecins Sans Frontières, are helping in war torn regions."

"What got you started on this?" he asked. Ever since Mackenzie had been stuck home on medical leave, she spent her days listening to NPR or watching CNN or ACN or any one of a number of daytime talk shows, searching for the untold story…the truth that wasn't being told.

"An email from a friend who is with Médecins Sans Frontières. He's in Kabul running one of the mobile clinics for all who have either returned to Kabul, or are seeking the safety of the city. There are over fifty camps in and around Kabul and these people are living in tents without floors."

"Why did he email?" Will asked.

"He needs help. He's got a patient, a little girl, who needs to be evacuated for medical care. The problem is that she has no family."

"Mackenzie," he said in a warning tone.

"Will," she whined back. "I'm just doing some research for him. Trying to find a hospital that will take her on pro bono and a family or foster care program that will house her."

"You've been out of the hospital barely a month. You've had two discs in your spine replaced. You've lost ten pounds and had two blood transfusions during surgery. Can you please take a fucking break Mac?!" he shouted.

She grabbed his hand and pulled his head down on her shoulder. She knew he was still skittish at times. He had a hard time letting her out of his sight and, while sometimes her renewed energy and ability to move around without his help comforted him…showed him that she was recovering, sometimes it also scared the shit out of him.

"I'm fine Will. The doctor said I'm recovering beautifully. The surgery went well and the blood loss was just a fluke. I was probably a little anemic or something. But I'm fine now. You have to stop doing this to yourself."

And he knew she was right. At the rate he was going, Mackenzie would be back on her feet just in time to nurse him through a bleeding ulcer.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying, Mac. I really am."

"I know you are. Now, go put your food in the fridge and bring us some wine and we'll sit here and relax and watch Elliot try not to kill Don," she whispered in his ear.

"Why would Elliot kill Don? And since when are you allowed to drink again?" he asked, knowing full well that with the amount of drugs she was on, alcohol was prohibited.

"Don and Maggie are fighting again, so Don's being a prick to everyone within five feet of him, or so I'm told. And I'm off the pain killers and the antibiotics and all I'm taking now is some Tylenol every now and again. I haven't taken anything today, so we're celebrating!" she said proudly.

He was stunned. Mackenzie hadn't been off painkillers in years.

"It worked?" he asked, a little teary-eyed. "The surgery…it worked?"

"Seems it has. Quiet though, I don't want to jinx it," she said softly. She was getting a little choked up herself. She hadn't been in this little pain in years. It wasn't all gone, but it was at a manageable level…something she imagined most people who had suffered a few sports injuries lived with. It was no longer that deep, aching, mind-numbing pain that at times drove her to brink of madness.

He kissed her soundly and jumped up from the bed and ran for the kitchen.

"I didn't say I needed the wine right this instant Will! Slow down!" she shouted after him.

He returned carrying a bottle of Dom Perignon and two champagne flutes.

"What's all this?" she asked, surprised.

"I didn't want to jinx it either, but I wanted to be prepared for the celebration I hoped we could have," he said eagerly, popping open the champagne and filling the two glasses.

"A toast," he said dramatically, holding up his glass toward her. "To my beautiful wife, who scared me half to death and drives me crazy most days…" he began.

"Hey! Isn't this supposed to be cheery and heartfelt?" she reminded.

"As I was saying…to my wife. You have no idea how happy you make me every day and no idea how badly I wanted this for you Kenz. To your health," he said solemnly, clinking his glass against hers. She swallowed her tears and tried to take a sip of her champagne around the giant lump in her throat.

Will curled into her side and nuzzled her neck and heard her whisper, "I stopped taking some other medication too." That stopped him cold.

"Please tell me you're not talking about what I think you're talking about Mackenzie," he said firmly, pulling away from her and looking her dead in the eyes.

"But I thought you wanted a baby Will? That's why we went ahead with the surgery in the first place?!" she exclaimed.

"No, it sure the hell is NOT the reason we turned to surgery Mac! You were in pain…horrible pain. I couldn't bear to see you live like that. But it was a big risk Mackenzie! What if it hadn't worked out this well? What if you were still in pain or, worse yet, what if that 'little blood loss' you so flippantly refer to had killed you?! I'm not going through that again Mackenzie!" he shouted, chest puffing out in exertion and fear.

"Will, calm down, please? Women have babies everyday…all over the world without any modern medical facilities and they do just fine. Surely, with all the care I would receive here, it would be safe," she assured him.

"You can't guarantee that Mac. You're special. You've had medical problems and you're just now on the road to recovery. Please, just let it go Kenz?" he pleaded.

"Let it go?" she asked, stunned. "You just want me to let go of the idea of motherhood? Of the idea of having your child?" she fell back against the pillows, crestfallen.

"Please? For me?" he begged, kneeling before her and wrapping her hands up in his. "I can't do it Mac. I can't watch you take that risk. What if something happened to your back? Or you needed a c-section and you started bleeding again? What if they couldn't stop it this time? I can't risk that Mackenzie."

"I can," she whispered.

"What?"

"I can risk it Will. I want a baby. I want your baby. I'm not backing down on this."

He backed away from her, astonished that she would do this to him…to them. Make him choose.

"I have to get out of here," he said, stumbling his way toward the door.

"Will?!" she shouted after him, but he was gone.

Will wandered the streets around the apartment for a while, thinking. He wasn't sure what emotion he was feeling more strongly, fear or happiness. He was thrilled that the surgery was a success, so why couldn't Mac accept that gift and be happy? Happy with him?

He needed to talk to people who knew Mac as well as he did and fortunately there were now two people living in the city that fit that requirement, Meggie and Michael.

Will made his way to the brownstone and rang the bell. Only when Michael answered the door in his robe did Will realize how late it really was and the first words out of his mouth were an apology. "I'm so sorry, Michael, I forgot how late…."

Michael interrupted him and said, "nonsense my boy, come in. Scotch?"

"Please," Will said sitting on the couch.

Michael finally got a good look at Will and saw that he was scared and angry and probably a lot of other emotions he couldn't pinpoint.

"What's happened?" Michael asked.

"Mac's surgery was successful, she's off all her meds."

"All of them?" he asked, shocked.

Will smiled and nodded his head.

"So why are you here instead of celebrating with Mackenzie?"

"She's off all her meds, all of them." Will was hedging. He didn't want to have to tell Michael that his forty-year-old daughter stopped taking her birth control pills.

Michael finally realized to what Will was referring. "I thought you wanted children."

"Not at the expense of my wife. She could have died during surgery, she had to have blood…it was only four weeks ago, why am I the only one that remembers this?"

Michael handed Will his scotch and sat down next to him. "Did Mac not tell you that she wanted to get pregnant and that was one of the goals of the surgery?"

"You know she did," he said slamming back the scotch.

"And have you changed your mind? Do you not want a child with Mac?"

"It's not as simple as you're making it out to be, Michael."

"She's been in pain since she was a teenager, Will. If the pain is gone why shouldn't she live her life?"

Will was up walking back and forth, the length of the living room.

Meggie came down the stairs and watched Will pace like a caged animal.

She stopped him in his path and pulled him into her arms. He knew that Meggie would help him make sense of this pregnancy idea of Mac's. "I don't understand," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"I've told you this before, you're in love…worrying is what you do," she said taking his hand and pulling him to the couch.

"She's just getting back on her feet."

"Good thing it takes two to get pregnant then, isn't it, William?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you need to talk to your wife."

"You've talked to her?" Will asked. He should have know Meggie would be the first person Mac would turn to. Apparently she had phoned her the minute he left the apartment!

"We've been talking for a while and she knows she needs to listen to what you have to say, but you need to tell her out of love what it is you want, not out of fear."

"There are so many things that could happen to her, Meggie, why take the added risk?"

"My boy, that is the fear talking. I know what you went through during the surgery, I was right there with you. You've got to let this fear go. If you let it, this fear will rule your life. Would you rather have Kenzie in so much pain that she can't move? Then she would be at home, confined to a bed, and you could keep a close eye on her for the rest of your life. Is that what you would prefer?"

"You know I wouldn't."

"Maybe you need to tell her what you do want to have happen. Maybe she needs to recover for a while before you try for a baby. She's not going to want to wait for a long time, but she's very smart and won't do anything to put herself in harm's way. She loves you way too much to do that to you."

"How mad was she when you talked to her?" he asked sheepishly.

"She was sad and upset, she was not mad at all."

"Fuck," he said leaning back against the back of the couch, his hands over his face. Will collected himself and said, "I'm sorry to barge in so late, please forgive me."

"I'll hear none of that, you are welcome here any time," Meggie said and hugged him. "Now go home and talk to your wife."

Will shook Michael's hand and kissed Meggie's cheek on his way out. He hailed a cab and was back home in just a few minutes. When he got off the elevator he saw her out on the balcony.

"Hi," he said quietly, trying to gauge her emotional state.

"Hi."

"Can we talk some, inside maybe?" he asked.

She didn't answer him but she turned and walked inside. He saw how red her eyes were when she turned, along with the tear tracks on her cheeks.

When he walked in she was sitting on the couch. He sat down with her and turned toward her. "I'm sorry, Kenz."

"You've got to get over this fear."

"It's not that easy and you know it."

"Did you not say to me that if I got pregnant after surgery that was great?"

"I did."

"Have you changed your mind and you don't want children?"

"Not at the expense of you," he said taking her hand.

"What would make you feel better, my doctor telling you that a pregnancy would be okay?"

"That would help…maybe" he hedged.

"He's already told you that, before surgery. We sat in his office and he said for what I want to do surgery was the only option. We told him that we wanted to have a baby and that I wanted to work. We gave him all the information and he made an informed decision, Will."

"That was before."

"Fuck, Will," she said getting off the couch and pulling her hand from his. She was up pacing the room.

"Why did you go off birth control?" he asked.

"Because it takes time for my body to regulate itself again. Even if we were trying, it could take months and months before I would be ready to be pregnant. I've been on the pill since I was a teenager."

"I didn't know that," he said.

"Asking me questions instead of running out of here would have been a better idea."

"You have no idea how scared I was when that nurse came out during your surgery."

"I get that, Will, I do. But none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow. If we live our lives in fear of the unknown we aren't living. I want to live, Will, with you."

"Can we talk about a compromise?"

"Sure," she replied.

"You stay off the birth control pills but we take it very slow. You need to be fully recovered and we get the green light from your doctor that we can start trying and if he says that you shouldn't be pregnant, we don't move forward."

"Do I get a say in any of this? It is my body."

"But you're my wife."

"And what you say is the final word? I don't think so."

"That's not what I meant and you know it, Mac."

"No, I don't. You've been acting like a completely different person since I had surgery."

"I'm scared, sue me," he said and was up pacing.

"We aren't getting anywhere right now. I'm going to go check on my research for Marc," she said and walked back to the bedroom.

She was sitting on the bed with her laptop when Will sat on the bed. "Any leads yet?"

"No, but I've just started, I'm not ready to give up on finding help for this little girl."

She looked really tired to Will.

"What's wrong with the child?"

"She needs surgery to repair a heart problem. She doesn't have family or anyone to try to get her somewhere that she can get the care she needs. She's four. She should be having tea parties and playing dress up instead of living in a tent with no floor during the winter in Kabul. Plus, she's a girl in a society that doesn't place the same value on a little girl as they do a little boy, so that's another strike against her."

"I'm happy to make some calls, if that would help any," he offered.

"Thanks, anything helps at this point. There's a time limit, that's why Marc emailed me, if the repair isn't done soon, she won't make it to five."

He saw her wipe a tear from her cheek and close her laptop, placing it on the table next to the bed. She got up and went into the bathroom.

When she returned a few minutes later he was in the same position. "I don't like it when we fight, Kenz. We argue all the time at work and I love it…but this is different."

"I'm not trying to hurt you. You knew I wanted to be pregnant, that I wanted to have your child."

"We also talked about surrogacy and adoption."

"And if that's what we end up having to do, that's fine, but that's not the first step."

"Meggie said you wouldn't do anything to put yourself in harm's way."

"And you think I would?"

"You can be very focused when you want something, Kenz."

"That doesn't mean that I'd place myself in harm's way. Do you think I love you?"

That got his attention. "I know that you love me."

"Would I ever do anything to deliberately hurt you?"

"Of course not," he said and realized what he'd said.

"That includes getting pregnant. If I thought there was any chance that a pregnancy would hurt me, I wouldn't do it, I couldn't do that to you."

"Can we agree to think about this until you're fully recovered, or at least recovered enough for your doctor to say he's comfortable with us trying to conceive? Hell, Mac, we can't even make love for at least another fourteen days."

She smiled at him. "Counting down, are you?"

"You know I am. I love you and I want to be on the same page, Kenz, I'm trying… I am."

"All I can ask is that you try, Billy. And, by the way, no more midnight trips to the brownstone without Lonny. If Charlie knew he'd have a heart attack," Mac reminded him as she climbed into bed.