AN: pssshhht it's not like I have ten thousand other ongoing stories, noooo, ahaha~

*ehem* this story was born from two major factors:

a) the reverse situation of one of my other fics, The Girl from Shiketsu

b) the need to write emotional angst (I promise nobody dies in this one, and that there will be a happy ending)

I. It's Lonely At The Top

He watched as her fingers trailed over a few book spines, a pleasant smile dancing on her lips. "It's rare for you to ask me for help, Todoroki." She mused playfully.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, feeling a bit nervous. He didn't actually need her help, to be honest. He just… wanted her to come along.

"You're better at this kind of stuff. At least, I figured you would be." He replied, a bit too hastily.

She quirked her brow ever so slightly. "Then I'm flattered you think so. What kind of interests does your sister have again?"

"She's a teacher." He let relief wash over him, the hurdle was overcome. "But she also enjoys cooking."

Yaoyorozu hummed in acknowledgement, walking across the aisle to another section of the book store. "Maybe something on western cooking?" She suggested, pointing to a book on display.

Shouto looked at it for a few seconds, pondering. Was his sister really going to be happy with a cookbook?

He picked the book up and flipped through the pages. "Do you know any of these dishes?"

"Yes, our chef has prepared many of them before." She was standing a bit too close, looking over his shoulder to look at the recipes. Their hands brushed against each other when she suddenly stopped him from turning another page. "Oh, this one! It's really good, especially with roasted potatoes and parsley."

Practically leaning into him now, she flipped a few pages herself, ultimately taking the book out of his hands and skipping to the dessert section. She mumbled a few things, nodding approvingly every now and then.

A few minutes later, she shut the book with a look of finality and held it out to him. "It gets my seal of approval." She smiled widely.

In the span of a few seconds, Shouto hesitated. If he accepted this, then his excursion with her would be over. He didn't want it to be over yet. He liked… her company.

"Co-Coffee?" He blurted out. "Do you want to get some coffee? Or tea? We still have some time, after all…"

She was still holding the cookbook out to him, looking slightly confused. "Um, sure, why not?"

Relief washed over him, he managed to overcome another hurdle. "Thank you, by the way." He mumbled quickly, taking the book and waving it. At least, he attempted to, but it was heavier than it looked, resulting in an awkward-looking gesture.

"Don't worry about it. It's been quite a while since we've done anything together, hasn't it?" She laughed, leading the way to the cashier.

"Y-Yeah…" He replied somewhat lamely. Everything he did and said today seemed a bit lame, to be completely honest.

She began humming something, gently swaying her shoulders to the rhythm.

He gulped, gathering his confidence. "Hey, Yaoyorozu?"

"Yes?" She glanced over her shoulder curiously, a sparkle in her dark eyes.

"I… "

His head was pounding, feeling like it was about to explode any moment now. It was also hot. As if he had been using his quirk for too long, throwing his body's temperature off in the process.

He wanted to turn, to move, to do something against the searing pain, but his limbs weren't listening to him.

Slowly, he tried opening his eyes. It took some time, but eventually he managed to peel his lids apart, blinking at the sudden onslaught of bright light.

There was a muffled beeping in the background, along with somebody saying something. As much as he tried, he couldn't make out the words.

His throat felt dry, making speaking harder than he'd like it to be.

"-ove too much." The voices slowly became clearer, a female one distinguishing itself from the others. "Shouto Todoroki? Can you hear me?"

He blinked a few more times, his vision focussing on the woman leaning over him. Somehow, he managed a nod.

"Can you speak?"

He tried saying something, but it came out as a cough. The woman gestured for him to stop, holding out a container with a straw for him.

"Drink something first, then think about what you remember. Your teacher has been notified and will be here any moment."

Did she mean Aizawa? Was he here as well? But he… Shouto's thoughts were muddled. What had happened? Why was he in the hospital to begin with? Whenever he tried recalling the past events, his thoughts came up blank.

"Doctor, Mr. Aizawa will be here in five." Another nurse poked her head through the door.

"Alright." The woman answered. "Just relax until then, Mr. Todoroki. I'll be right back."

When he was alone in the room again, he took the opportunity to look around, only moving his head minimally. It was a rather large room, plain, generic furniture completing the hospital aesthetic. How did he end up here? Was it a villain? An unfortunate training accident? Was anybody else hurt?

Somebody else… there was somebody else as well, wasn't there? But who was it?

His stomach growled, a sudden wave of hunger washing over him.

He'd talk to the doctor when she got back.

"Todoroki, are you feeling better?" His teacher took a seat next to the bed. "Do you remember anything?"

"Mr. Aizawa…" Todoroki rasped out. "What happened?"

"You really don't remember?"

He shook his head.

"Well, you spaced out and took one of Bakugou's punches to the face. You probably haven't looked in the mirror yet, but…" Aizawa made a few gestures around his eyes. "…let's just say your eyes match now."

That… would explain the sharp stinging pain he felt on his face. Was Bakugou the other person, then? No, that didn't seem right…

"The doctor mentioned you might be a bit confused, you did have quite the serious strong head trauma. Give it a few days, and it should get better." His teacher went on, ending it with a sigh. "I would really like to know what was so important that you didn't manage to dodge the most straight-forward attack in existence, so let me know if you happen to recall it, got it?"

Aizawa's voice was oddly threatening, with a hint of anger. Was Aizawa… angry at him? But why?

"Mr. Aizawa, is something wrong?" Shouto asked.

"What's wrong, is that my best student is in the hospital right now, and right before the sports festival, too. Just… make sure you get better in time, okay?"

Shouto watched his teacher leave, an uncomfortable pit of confusion forming in his stomach. Had Aizawa always been like that?

His next visitor was Iida, who, as class president, came to check on him and pass on the get-well-wishes from the rest of the class.

Somehow, Shouto doubted Bakugou was amongst those.

Something was wrong, though. Wasn't there supposed to be somebody with Iida? Somebody… else… Black hair…?

His thoughts were cut off by his headache, and he chose to ignore that random trail for now.

"Pathethic." His father spat. "Being hospitalized for something like that. It's unbecoming of the future Number One Hero."

Shouto didn't answer, just walked past him towards his room.

"We'll skip training tomorrow, but I expect you to be back on your feet afterwards!" Were the last things he heard before he closed his door.

The solitude of his room was familiar and calming, his personal safe haven. Still, there was a nagging thought at the back of his mins, as if he was forgetting something…

"You've changed." Jirou remarked, a hand on her chin and a thoughtful hum playing from her lips. "Maybe getting punched did you good, we should try it out on Kaminari next."

"Hey!" The boy in question exclaimed, faking hurt. "If anybody should try this out, it's Bakugou!"

"Shut up, you blonde twerp!" Bakugou barked in response to that.

"You're also a blonde twerp!" Kaminari fought back, pointing a finger at the blonde spikes upon Bakugou's head.

"Shut up!"

He shook his head, instinctively turning to the left, wanting to say something to the person next to him, but-

-the seat was empty.

Strange. He could've sworn…

"Momo Yaoyorozu." The name rolled off his tongue with practiced ease, filling in all the blank spots that have been popping up all over the place lately.

Class vice-president, fellow hero-in-training, his friend. The person who was with him when the… explosion occurred.

It was definitely an explosion, he was sure of it, there was no way he'd let Bakugou straight-up punch him.

But that brought up another issue. He glanced at the calendar. How had he been transported several months into the past?

He just couldn't wrap his head around this mess. Everything was the same. His classmates had the same mannerisms, leaving them nearly indistinguishable from the ones in his memories, the city infrastructure was identical, his family members behaved the same as usual.

But.

The seat next to his was empty.

It wasn't as if the Yaoyorozu family had disappeared suddenly, no, a quick Internet search revealed they existed in their financial blossom just as they were supposed to. But Momo Yaoyorozu was a phantom.

His classmates claimed to have never heard the name, and after a lot of contemplation and thought, he began to wonder if maybe he was the mad person here. What if she had just been a figment of his imagination? An ideal ghost created by his brain to get through the trauma that left him comatose?

What if she had never been real?

The thought made him shudder, because he could almost hear her laughter, see her reassuring smile, smell the bright aroma of her freshly brewed tea, taste the chocolate cookies she was so proud of, feel the comforting touch of her hand on his shoulder.

Was it even possible that all those sensations had been conjured up by his mind? The memories, too?

He shook his head. No, those were real. They had to be.

There was one last person left to ask. Aizawa. He'd been wary to mention his mismatched memories to his teacher up to now, especially since said man seemed pretty agitated, but this was his last chance. His Internet investigations had revealed that the Yaoyorozu family did have a daughter, but information on her was oddly scarce and vague.

Nodding to himself in determination, he approached the teacher's office, knocking firmly.

It took a while, but eventually his teacher slid the door open, tousled hair and a long yawn clueing him in on the fact that Mr. Aizawa had most probably been sleeping, or at least trying to do so.

"Todoroki." His teacher greeted him unenthusiastically. "What do you need?"

"I have a question. It won't take long, I promise."

Aizawa seemed to contemplate it for a few seconds, likely weighing the options of dealing with his student or going back to sleep back and forth, before reluctantly agreeing with a heavy sigh. "Ask away."

"Do you happen to know a student named Momo Yaoyorozu?" Shouto asked firmly.

His teacher's brows quirked in surprise. "Momo… Yaoyorozu? Are you acquainted with her?" There was something about Aizawa's tone, like scepticism mixed with caution. His eyes narrowed at Shouto, searching for some kind of reaction.

Bullseye. Aizawa clearly knew something. "You could say that."

"Shouldn't you already know in that case?" The whisper nearly escaped his hearing. His teacher continued mumbling to himself. "Or is it the head injury? Did you forget?"

Shouto chose to pretend he hadn't heard anything, patiently waiting for Aizawa to address him again. He had finally found a clue, he wasn't going to rush things now.

"She's in the hospital, recovering from her injuries." Aizawa explained after a few moments of thought.

"Injuries?" Were they from the explosion? No, that couldn't be, his own injuries weren't caused by an explosion either.

"The doctor did mention you might have memory issues, so maybe some of your more recent memories were affected." Aizawa concluded disgruntledly. "So, I guess it's possible you don't remember. Miss Yaoyorozu got caught up in a plane crash shortly before the school year started. She's been in the hospital since then."

...What? Plane crash?

He dug through his mind, vaguely recalling the various overseas vacations Yaoyorozu undertook with her family.

Overseas. Plane crash. Oh God.

"Which hospital?" He inquired urgently. It was fairly late but visiting hours shouldn't be over yet. He still had a bit of time.

"..." Aizawa seemed hesitant for some reason. His teacher grimaced. "Don't… expect too much. Musutafu General Hospital."

The first part of the statement flew over his head as he spun on his heel, ready to dash out of the school. "Thanks!" He added quickly.

"Oi! Don't run in the hallway!" His teacher's reprimand was distant when Shouto started running down the stairs.

True enough, the characters spelling out her name were printed on the nameplate outside of the door.

Visiting hours would come to a close soon, but the receptionist still was kind enough to direct him to her room. She was here. She was real. A wave of relief washed over him as he knocked on the door, knowing that she would probably be able to make sense of their predicament.

Once he thought over the facts, he concluded that she was just like him scattered into this strange world with unknown injuries.

But as soon as he entered the room, he realized he had misjudged the situation. The hope and relief were swept away in a thunderous wave when he met her eyes.

Eyes he had become so acquainted to were suddenly looking at him without the slightest trace of recognition, only confusion and curiosity.

Her brows furrowed. "Oh, I'm sorry… I thought you were somebody else. Did you get lost, perchance?"

It was her. It was definitely her. But at the same time, she felt like a stranger. Suddenly, he felt like he had invaded her privacy, like he had no right to be here.

He swallowed those emotions and closed the door behind him, only further increasing her confusion and wariness.

"Sorry for intruding. I should introduce myself, my name is…" He paused when something in her expression changed. Did she recognise him?

"You… Your uniform… are you from UA?" She asked slowly. "Wait, we've met before, haven't we?" She tilted her head in thought, grimacing as she filtered through her memories. "Right, at the entrance exams… for the recommendation students…"

It was almost painful to watch. "Shouto Todoroki. That's my name. I am from UA."

"Ah, right, it was Todoroki." An accomplished smile spread on her lips. "How can I help you, Todoroki?"

"I.." He didn't know what else to say. He had blindly assumed that she'd know what was going on, he wasn't prepared for this. "I wanted to inquire how your recovery was going."

Bitterness filled her smile, no matter how much she tried to hide it. Her lips grew into a tight line as she averted her gaze. "Did you come here to pity me? To say you're sorry, despite hardly knowing me? I didn't peg you to be that kind of person, Todoroki."

The unexpected drop of her voice caught him by surprise. "What?"

"If that's what you came here for, then you might as well leave again. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody you were here, unless you want me to." It was like an automated, robotic answer, simmering with silent anger and disappointment.

"What are you talking about? I would never…!" He cut himself off before he said too much. She didn't know him. They were strangers, he reminded himself. After taking a deep breath, he reconsidered his words. "I didn't come here for that."

"Did you come here to jeer at me, then? One less rival in the pursuit of heroism?" The volume of her voice decreased drastically as her fingers clenched around the fabric of her blanket.

"None of that!" He snapped angrily. What… what kind of image did she have of him?! Was this really what Yaoyorozu thought of him prior to their friendship?! "I just came here to…!" He calmed himself with a shaky breath. "... to make sure you were alright."

She eyed him sceptically. "I beg your pardon?"

In this world, they didn't know each other. Regardless, Shouto could tell she was essentially the same person, she had merely been wrung through an unplanned hardship. Below all that, she was still the highly-intelligent girl he knew. If he explained his situation, maybe… maybe she would believe him? And maybe even be able to help him?

"I came to see how you were doing." He repeated. "When do you think you'll be released?"

Her eyes fixated him in an incredulous stare, her mouth agape as if he had just offended her entire ancestry. Then she scoffed, and soon it bubbled into sardonic laughter. Something glittered in the corners of her eyes, highlighting the red rims under her eyes.

Too late, he realized he had fucked up. Badly. Really, really badly.

She had been crying, how hadn't he seen the signs sooner?

"Released?" She spat out. "When will I be released?! The question should be if I even get released!"

Shouto's throat dried up as the realization of just how much he had fucked up began to seep into him. Tears spilled over Yaoyorozu's cheeks as a bitter smile stretched across her trembling lips.

"Please… just leave. If your fake concern is all you came here for, then… just… leave."

He didn't know how to respond. He didn't even know what to do. It was also only in that moment that he took note of the crutches leaning against the wall behind her bed.

There was no way he could do it. He couldn't ask her for advice. He couldn't tell her about the version of her that was on a secure course, snowballing towards heroism.

Not when the girl in front of him had lost all chances of fulfilling that dream.

His feet had brought him to a nearby park somehow. He didn't really remember walking over here, but he still slumped onto the first bench he found. His brain needed a moment to sort things out.

A nurse had seen him leaving Yaoyorozu's hospital room, apologizing briefly. It seemed that this was a common occurrence.

Shouto buried his face into his hands, inhaling sharply. This was wrong. Of all people, why Yaoyorozu? Why? More than anybody, she deserved to be a hero.

He had never seen her so angry before. So upset. So heart-broken. So devastated.

How many people had she spoken to, all offering condolences on her lost dream?

How many had pitied her until she snapped? How many had laughed behind her back?

How many had given her false hope that everything would be okay again?

How many had told her it wasn't so bad, and that she was just blowing this out of proportion?

How many there may have been, he was just another one on that list.

His clenched fist tightened even further, his nails digging into his skin painfully.

What happened in that explosion?! Why was he suddenly trapped in this terrifying reality?! He never… he never wanted to make her cry…

He shook his head furiously.

It had to a fake, right?! This had to be some kind of quirk affecting him, right?! It had to be!

Because Yaoyorozu… Yaoyorozu had to be safe! She just had to be! He was sure of it, because Yaoyorozu was better… than him… at this kind of stuff…

… better… than him…

Suddenly, he recalled two distinct sentences the rang through his mind. Two sentences that had rubbed him the wrong way.

Aizawa calling him his best student when he awoke in the hospital.

Yaoyorozu asking him if he was happy that he'd have one rival less.

Nonononononononono. No. No way.

He gulped, his scratchy throat feeling drier than a desert.

Could this world… this reality… have been born from his desire to be number one?

[-]

"Thanks for letting me borrow your notes!"

She stopped drumming her pencil against the desk and took back her notebook from the boy sitting to her right. "Don't worry about it, Yoarashi." Momo smiled politely and put it back in her bag.

Her eyes flitted towards the clock. Five more minutes. Class would be over in five minutes, and then she could work on trying to solve the situation she's been caught up in.

While watching the second hand of the clock tick away at an impossibly slow pace, her mind ran over the facts she had gathered so far.

One, this world didn't match up with her memories. Everybody's behaviour was slightly off, and the gaping piece of evidence that was her current desk mate were proof enough of that.

Two, Todoroki was missing. He had been by her side when the explosion occurred, so where was he now? Was he trapped in a similar situation? Was all this a quirk-induced hallucination?

Three, nobody she had asked so far actually knew who Todoroki was. Did he… did he simply not exist in this world?

The bell finally rang, and Momo clenched her fist. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

[-„Denn das Loch in meinem Herzen
sieht genauso aus wie du." -]

("Because the hole in my heart
looks just like you.")

AN: ...how was it? Watcha think? well, do leave a review~

I don't think this one will be very long tbh, I've set my sights on five chapters for now...