Let's Play Dark Souls!
Summary: Sora, Riku and Kairi play one of the hardest games out there! What can possibly go wrong!?
Chapter One
The journey begins
Riku: 'Okay, okay…so you two ready for this?'.
Riku was currently on his console in his bed room, Kairi and Sora were communicating via Discord (Dubbed Destiny Island Trio), all of them at the create a character screen.
Kairi: 'Eww…the faces look so…constipated'.
Sora: Yeah, these models did not age very well! I thought the remaster was meant to fix that?'.
Kairi: 'Oh lord I just saw the female faces! NOT much improvement!'.
Riku: Stop ridiculing the ugly Kai and make your character, dibs on the Wanderer!'.
Sora: 'Knight for me! SWORDS!'.
Kairi: Uhh…hmm…err…oh wow there's a lot to choose from…hmmm…'.
Unlike Sora and Riku, who both have more games underneath their belts, namely JPRG and RPGs, Kairi is as into gaming as they are. Granted she wasn't completely ignorant nor was she was new to this as some of their friends, but the last game she had ever played to the end, and her hardest, was Super Mario World, back on the SNES.
But she found time to play Pokémon…
So, when both boys were excited for this, she decided to hop on the band wagon of hype and purchased this game for herself. Her only worry was, she heard this game was HARD. Hard games were not her forte, especially again, the hardest game she ever played was back on the SNES.
Sora: 'Kay! Ready to begin!'.
Riku: 'Kairi? You?'.
Kairi: '…Can we wear helmets?'.
Riku: 'Yeah…?'.
Kairi: 'Good to go…'.
Intro
Sora: 'So basically things are bad…and we need to make them…not bad?'.
Kairi: 'That is a grossly simplification of the plot but yeah…'.
Undead Asylum
Riku: 'Ok, we're in an asylum…'.
Kairi: 'Yup…q-quick question, is this a horror game too?'.
Sora: 'I guess…?'.
Kairi: 'Oh. Great…well least- OH MY GOD!'.
Riku winced at that shriek of terror while Sora just giggled at her reaction.
Riku: 'What what!?'.
Kairi: 'My character looks like a deformed resin that was left in the sun for a decade!'.
Sora: 'Wow crap! She's not wrong!'.
Riku laughed at their critiques, but then jumped slightly when a body suddenly fell in front of him, letting a sharp "Jesus!" from him.
Kairi: 'And now there's a body in my cell!'.
Sora: 'Thank you, shiny knight person!'.
They begin to move and play, with them all exiting their cells.
Sora: '…Why didn't he just drop the key into our cell without the body?'.
Kairi: 'Maybe he thought we were hungry?'.
The trio of players navigated through the haunted hallways, though Kairi was still adapting to the controller and more sluggish movement of her character. Eventually they climb the stairs and ladder and together they each found their own bonfires.
Sora: 'BONEFIRE!'.
Kairi: 'This will be the only time we ever trust you with fire'.
Sora: 'That burning hammock was not my fault!'.
Riku: ' "Burning Hammock"? What the hell did you do?'.
Kairi: 'Let's just say I've never used a hammock before…and I never will'.
They opened the massive doors and proceeded into an open area…and then are greeted by a giant demon with an equally sized mace.
Kairi: 'OH SWEET POTATOES!'.
Sora: 'FAT DEMON BAD GUY!'.
Riku started to roll and evade the demon while he listened in to Kairi and Sora's screams of terror, while button mashing the dodge roll. He swung at the beast with his broken sword and did minimal damage.
However, he rolled to early and was then crushed by the beast.
Riku: 'Oh god he hurts so hard!'.
And he was then greeted by most likely a common occurrence of this play through.
You Died
Riku: 'Damn it! I'm dead!'.
Sora: I'M STILL ALIVE!',
Riku then heard though his headphones a crashing sound from Sora's end.
Sora: 'Never mind…'.
Kairi: 'Oh god he hits so hard!'.
Riku and Sora respawned back at their bonfires, while Kairi was still profusely fighting the demon, yells and censored swearing was all Riku could hear from her end. This time, Riku and Sora spotted an exit from the demon and made a dash for it.
They managed to enter it before the demon could kill them again. While Kairi was fending off the monster, the two explored more the asylum. In time, they managed to find their class respective weaponry, until finally they met with the knight who gave them their freedom.
One exposition and five healing potions later, they found their way up to the platform above the demon.
Riku: 'Ah ha! How the tables have turned, ya fatass!'.
Riku's cockiness proved to be his undoing, as the demon leapt up and slammed its mace on him, destroying the platform…and killing him…again.
Riku: 'MOTHER FU-
Sora: YOLO!'.
Sora jumped from the pedestal and plunged his weapon right into the demon's skull, taking half its hit points. Sora then proceeded to fight the demon, taking his time and dodging the attacks, striking when he felt the opening right and slew the demon.
Sora: 'VICTORY!'.
Kairi: 'Wait you kill it? How!?'.
Sora: 'Hitting it really REALLY hard!'.
Riku: 'And probably NOT taunting it…'.
Kairi: 'Aww no fair! I'm still fighting- OH MY GOD! I DID IT!'.
Riku: OH for god sake! Kairi killed it…wait…d-did you even die yet?'.
Kairi: 'No…?'.
Sora: 'D-Did, did you fight the demon with the broken sword?'.
Kairi: 'It was all I had! What'd you expect me to fight it with, my fists!?'.
Next thing Kairi could hear, was Sora's roaring laughter and Riku's yells of frustration, all the while she scratched her cheek in confusion, wondering.
Sora: 'Kairi, do you see a small doorway opened?'.
Kairi: 'OOH yes, I see…wait, was I supposed to go through that first before fighting the big monster?'.
Sora: 'Pretty much!'.
Kairi blushed profusely, but smirked. 'So I'm technically the best among us~'.
Riku: 'Shut up…'.
After Riku's THIRD attempt to kill the demon, the trio arrived at the summit of the cliff and were spirited away by the bird, all the way to their hub.
The Firelink Shrine.
Sora: 'So…how do we join each other?'.
Kairi: 'Umm…according to the guide, we need a "White Sign Soapstone" from an NPC'.
Riku: 'And who's that?'.
Kairi: 'Solaire…? Buuuuut he's kinda far…'.
Sora: 'Pfft, how far can he be? We'll just make our way there!'.
Undead Burg
Kairi: 'NO NO NO! DARN IT!'.
Kairi's first death, and not the last one to occur, as Sora and Riku managed to reach the bridge, before Riku was picked off by an arrow. 'OH COME ON! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO DODGE ON A FRICKING NARROW BRIDGE LIKE THAT!?'.
Sora: 'Keep your shield up friends!'.
Kairi: 'I DON'T HAVE A SHIELD! I STIL HAVE THAT BROKEN WEAPON!'.
Sora: 'Did you not go through the Asylum?'.
Kairi: 'No…against my common sense…'.
As the mature ones respawn back to the shrine, Sora found another bonfire (much to Riku's rage that he neglected to look around). The spiky haired boy explored more of the undead town, fighting off monsters and looting them, until he went down the stairway…and encountered a black knight.
Sora: 'OOOOH he looks tough!'.
Sora managed to roll and evade a swing of the black blade and backstabbed the knight, doing small damage.
Sora: '…oops'.
And then next thing the spiky boy knew, he was seeing that oh so beautiful reminder of his current state being.
Later…
Riku eventually climbs up the tower to a fog wall. From what he remembers from Demon Souls (classic game), this meant a boss battle. He took a deep breath and ventured through it with great, GREAT, reluctance.
He found himself on the bridge, no enemies in sight but he did finally decide to take in the view of the game. Despite this being nearly ten years old, the game's visuals truly looked breath taking back then, and remastered only highlighted their majesty.
Riku: 'Hey, ya know? This game still looks pretty good'.
Kairi: 'Yeah, they really nailed the western style design'.
Riku: 'How far are you two?'.
Sora: 'Hey Riku did you go down the tower at all?'.
Riku: 'No? Why?',
Kairi: 'What did you find, Sora?'.
Sora: 'Uhh nothing….wait…there's this guy, he…HE'S COMING FOR ME WITH A HUGE HAMMER! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!'.
The two could hear the Sora's yells of fear mixed with sounds of crashing and smashing, which implied clearly he was not in a good situation right now…
Riku: '…So Kairi, you?'.
Kairi: 'I found a… merchant? He's letting me buy stuff but, nothing's catching my eye…'.
Sora: 'THIS MAN HURTS!'.
Kairi: 'UGH! Now he's telling me to fall off a cliff! That's it!'.
Kairi gives him a kick, but unfortunately the undead don't take too kindly to being kicked by the protagonist and he starts to fight her. Kairi squeals in terror and fought back, killing him. His last words were asking his imaginary lover why she left him to die, and left the poor girl standing there in horror of her actions.
Kairi: 'OH MY GOD! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T WANT TO MURDER HIM!'.
Riku: 'Kairi, I'm shocked you murdered a poor merchant!'.
Kairi: 'I FEEL SO- OOOOOOOOHHHHH! A katana!'.
Riku: 'WAIT WHAT!?'.
Sora: 'You got a katana? Nice!'.
Kairi: '…worth the guilt!'.
Riku: 'She's lying to us Sora, she's played this! NO one is this lucky with that fricking broken sword!'.
Sora: '…Maybe she's just better?'.
Riku grunted in annoyance and proceeded down the bridge, but before him fell a giant Taurus demon, roaring at him. He found the boss.
Riku rolled under the beast as it jumped towards him, slamming on the ground. Riku began to hack away at it's legs with his twin scimitars, cutting and chopping the ferocious beast. He rolled, jumped back and swerved around the massive monster.
But just when he was about to finish off the monster, as it had a small portion of health left, he was struck by an arrow. And died…
Riku: 'GOD! Freaking archers!'.
You Died
Attempt 2.
This time Riku climbed the ladder, and viciously murdered the archers, and just for good measure and taking FULL advantage of the game's body ragdolls, he managed to push them off the tower and sent them careening down into the abyss that is death.
Riku: 'Good riddance… Okay! Come at me Taurus!'.
Kairi: 'Hey guys? I found a fog wall? What's that mean?',
Sora: 'STILL FIGHTING ROCK MAN!'.
Riku: 'It means there's a boss up ahead…'.
Kairi: *Takes a breath* 'Okay, okay…I got this…'.
However, unlike Riku, who ran straight for the boss, Kairi spotted the ladder first and began to climb it, took out the archers and then looked at the ledge of the tower, remembering how Sora managed to do a large amount of damage to the first boss and pondered if the same rules apply.
She ventured closer to the next tower and triggered the beast, who roared at her. Kairi instantly ran back, quietly muttering "crap crap crap", climbed the tower was fast as her character could. The demon was just below her, and she leapt, plunging her sword right into the demon's head, almost taking its health entirely.
Once she jumped off the demon, she did one heavy charged attack and killed it. She gained plenty of souls and a sense of achievement.
Kairi: 'I DID IT! I beat the boss!'.
Riku: 'WHAT!? HOW DID YOU KILL IT SO QUICKLY!?'.
Kairi: 'I climbed the tower, jumped off it and stabbed it in the face!'.
Sora: 'OOOH clever!'.
Riku: '…pansy. I fought it head on like a pro! No need for cheap executions!'.
Kairi: Mmm hmm, and that's NOT an excuse because you didn't know you could use that?'.
Riku: '…fuck off'.
The two proceeded on, while Sora was likely still fighting rock man, and together they finally met Solaire (THE BEST CHARACTER), and after some banter, he gave them each a soap stone. Which meant they can FINALLY start the multiplayer.
Riku: 'Okay…so…we just wait for Sora…'.
Kairi: 'Okay, I'm gonna play Pokémon while we wait'.
One hour and twenty minutes later…
Sora finally arrived and they all agreed to work in Kairi's world, so the boys dropped their signs and Kairi summoned them. Riku appeared first and then Sora. Except where Riku was wearing the wanderer armour, Sora was not only in his heavy knight armour, but was also carrying a heavy halberd and a large shield.
Riku: 'What the? How are you wearing all that?'.
Kairi: 'And moving so much?',
Sora: 'Oh remember that rock guy? Yeah, I beat him and got his ring! It makes my weight even lower to wear heavier stuff!'.
Riku and Kairi gave the boy a look, then one to each other, and they knew what had to be done…
Two murders later…
Better armoured and armed, the trio stood at the edge of the bridge, and they see the horde.
Riku: 'You two ready?'.
Kairi: 'Yes! With the three of us, nothing can stand in our way!'.
Sora: 'CHARGE!'.
They ran down the bridge…and were then engulfed in flames, each screaming in shock.
A dragon had swooped over the bridge, breathing a torrent of fire, killing the trio and the horde in one breath.
Reactions were, understandable.
Riku raged profusely, Kairi groaned in frustration, and Sora just let out a breath of regret.
Kairi: 'I wanna go back to Pokémon…'.
This was gonna be a LONG playthrough….
A/N: So…yeah.
Thought of this idea for awhile, and while I am working on other stories, this was just for fun. So let me know what you all thought of this and I do intend to finish it.
Thanks for reading, stay awesome but more importantly stay safe!