PROLOGUE
Kate stands off by herself in the sunshine of late afternoon. The surf touches her toes, if barely, but despite the weather she shivers. She lets her mind wander from one thing to the next, but nothing important. She lets the surf rise, come up around her ankles. She's sinking, sinking into her thoughts, the ones that push into her mind even when she forces them out. It seems he is always in her mind, like he was glued there. It's aggrivating, especially since she wants to stop feeling guilty. Should she feel guilty? The way Jack looks at Juliet.. she wonders sometimes whether it would be better to go back, where she knows he'll be, and live with something that is always constant. The sand covers her feet, but she keeps still, hands in the pocket of a too-large sweatshirt.
Should she go back? He'll be waiting. She knows him well enough to be sure when she thinks he'd be happy to have her. He is, after all, always happy to have her. Maybe, though, he's bad for her. If he's bad, and they're alike- does that make her bad? Surely not. And yet she knows, with a heavy heart, that she's just as bad as he is. That the blood of Wayne runs deep in her blood and cannot be removed. That part of what she is, part of what she will always be, is part of what he used to be.
Should she stay? Things at the beach are relatively calm, and dependable. There's food, and it's no different than it has always been on the island.
And yet, things will never be the same. Charlotte and Dan are here now, and the people who went to the barracks are gone. Also, Juliet and Sun's constant arguments aren't usual. Besides which, just Juliet being there makes her uncomfortable. Why hasn't she left for the Temple? Jack says she isn't one of them, but she will always be That Lady With A Bag to Kate. That Jack could possibly even be in love with her... it was inconcievable. Just because her name was Juliet didn't mean he had to be Romeo. But then, it wasn't just the way he looked at her. That would be bad enough- but no. The way she looks at him. She cares about him and there's nothing Kate can do to change it. That fact alone makes her want to go back to the Barracks.
It has been three days since she left Locke and the others the Barracks. Three days since she left Sawyer behind. For three days, she has been agonizing over her choice to leave. He often says things he doesn't mean… but he had never hurt her like that before. All the same, she wishes he was here. When she was around him, worry didn't exist. He didn't just appear- he filled the room; filled the space with his being. He was just so - so there.
She closes her eyes, and suddenly, a strong hand grasps her shoulder. She spins to face him- and gasps out loud.
"James?"