In response to Sethido's - And Thou Shalt Not challenge.(At WIKTT )
All the characters and Hogwarts belong to J.K.Rowlings and the idea for the story belongs to Sethido.
I am not trying to make any money by writing this,just writing for the fun of it.
Chapter 1
Thou shalt not think of her.Thou shall not think of her.Thou shalt not think of her………….
He had been repeating this to himself everyday for past five years and had been doing exactly the opposite.Merlin knew why his will power failed where that silly little fool was concerned.But everything he did somehow reminded him of her.Like this gentle rain falling on the grass reminded him of that day etched in his memory as if it had just happened yesterday. The exotic fragrance of wet earth mixed with her scent….the opening of her gentle lips……….the wideness of her dilated pupils………the tiny gold specks shining in her brown eyes…………the feel of her hair on his palms……and..and that seemingly eternal kiss……pure bliss….…oh what couldn't he give to do that once more……….
Damn the girl!!! Even such exquisite memories of her could bring him nothing but pain.How he tried to block her from his mind his thoughts his very psyche!But to no avail!!
All his life he hadn't had anything he had ever wanted. Everything he ever did just backfired on him. What had he done to irate the Fates?Could nothing in his life ever go right?Could nothing he wanted ever be his? Why happiness always evaded him in this roundabout manner? 'If u cant get it just snatch it!'A voice inside his head screamed.
Yeah that's it.He had lost her five years ago….to someone else…… but now that he knew….now that he was so certain …..yes it was so clear….nothing could give him any happiness now but her…….he had to try for it …with all his might….just this once…..before he could lose all hope in life and bow to his unending misfortunes…….he had to know for sure once……… have the satisfaction of knowing that atleast he tried…………..
The rain was pouring quite fiercely now. How he wished he could cry with the skies too,over his wasted life,over his pathetically empty existence,every moment of which he had detested………..no..not every moment………not those days he had spent with her…..BUT DAMN IT!Even thinking about those times hurt…hurt like hell…..why oh why the only good times he had with her had this absurd power to churn his very insides……why did these memories hurt so much?………..
But no!He wouldn't cry,not now….. not ever. He hadn't allowed himself that luxury ever and nothing…. absolutely nothing would reduce him to tears ever!
The rain was lashing quite furiously now,he would have to go in…..inside the house where nothing but empty walls waited for him………….
And he walked back towards the huge manor where he lived ……all alone …..with a few discreet house elves whom he never even saw ……because that's the way he liked it…..to be left alone…… all by himself….But did he really? He definitely didn't want to know the answer to that one now!
He walked through the huge halls only his footsteps resounding, unaffected by the grandeur of the place its huge dimensions,its antique furniture,a house where everything was a masterpiece;but none of it affected him any longer…….and then up the magnificent staircase….to his suite…..a suite which would have been mesmerizing to an outsider………….almost everything was black in here ,except the cream walls…..huge leather armchairs by the fireplace ………..a huge mahogany cupboard covering a whole wall filled with books even the biggest library in the world would envy,a laboratory filled with the best equipments and rarest of herbs and shrubs available in the wizarding world……a sitting room exquisitely furnished by the book case,a separate dining area,all leading to his bedroom of unbelievable proportions with that huge round bed with black satin sheets .…..the bathroom competing with size of the room all powder blue and gleaming steels with everything anyone could ever think of, could put even the best bathroom of Hogwarts to shame with its elegance……..He had every comfort a man could ever dream of but yet he felt so empty……so hollow……and by now he knew….she was the only one who could change that…….but was it possible anymore?
Damn her why does she have to pop up all the time,why couldn't she leave him alone…at peace….He wouldn't.. absolutely wouldn't think of her again …….not today atleast…..
He picked up the vintage bottle of firewhisky and poured out a whole glass,,drowning it in one gulp,his insides burning .Feeling relaxed he looked around, there was a huge neatly folded towel on the bed;damn useful these house elves!
He took off his cloak and threw it on the leopard printed carpeted floor back in his black slacks and pristine white shirt. He rubbed his hair and face with the towel, more fiercely than necessary;poured out another glass of firewhisky and went and sat in one of the armchairs,the coals blazing in the fireplace……..and staring at it all her memories flooded his mind again, every image as clear as daylight,and he started going through all of it once again…..the thing he had resolved not to do just a few moments ago…………..yes he could see all those events as clearly as if in a pensieve……..the way he had almost had her years ago and…..and….. lost her……