Hello :D I got this idea from a comic strip pic I saw on the on the internet. Now, onto the story!
I don't own anything!
Byakuya Kuchiki was a very strict man. The way he carried both himself and his squad was the reason some of the Soul Reapers admired him. As he sat in his office doing paperwork, he noticed his lieutenant's folder sitting on his desk. He then remembered the head captain requesting that folders regarding a squad member's personal information be updated. Even though he had paperwork to do, and it went against his better judgment, Byakuya placed his hand on the folder, his curiosity getting the better of him. Upon opening the folder, Renji's basic information was revealed, along with a picture of him glaring into the camera. Byakuya skimmed through the first few pages, as it held information he already knew about. Just as he was about to disregard the rest of the folder, he noticed something of interest. A small little note on the bottom of the page read, "Renji Abarai has been gaining a substantial amount of weight recently. Now, his health is not in danger, but confronting him about this is advisory." Byakuya's eye twitched after reading this. He got up, and strode out of his office in search for his fat lieutenant. He soon found him later with Ichigo and Rukia. Renji was talking to Ichigo while he held big piece of cake on a plastic plate in his hand. Rukia noticed her brother and respectfully bowed to him, to which he nodded in acknowledgement. "Brother, what are you doing here?" she asked. Byakuya turned to Renji and explained, "I'm here to speak with my lieutenant." He motioned Renji over to him. Renji raised one of his tattooed eyebrows at this, but followed anyway, cake still in hand. When Byakuya stopped, Renji asked, "So what's this about, Captain?" Byakuya cleared his throat, "Renji, it has come to my attention that you have been putting on a substantial amount of weight lately." Renji looked baffled, but then became angry when he heard Ichigo sniggering. After suppressing the urge to yell at Ichigo, he took a breath and tried to brush off his captain's accusation, "Heh Heh, that's silly, Captain. I feel fine." He gestured to himself, "See? I'm fine!" Byakuya wasn't convinced, and snatched away the cake from Renji's hand, "It is in your file, Renji. As your captain, I advise you to go on a diet." Renji had to really suppress the urge to hit Ichigo when he heard his stifled laughter. He waved a hand dismissively at his captain, "Honestly captain." he started, "I'm fine." Renji then reached out for the cake, mumbling, "Heh Heh, now give me the cake." Byakuya snapped. He shot an intense glare at Renji, yelling, "If you don't go on a diet, you're going to end up like him!" He pointed to the direction in which he had just come from. The same direction Kempachi Zaraki was walking in. Not only that, but Kempachi had heard Byakuya's last statement, to which he yelled, "HEY!" getting everyone's attention and causing Byakuya to sweatdrop. Yachiru had popped up from behind Kempachi's shoulder, also yelling, "Kenny's not that fat!" as a way of defending Kempachi and making him facepalm. While Byakuya was distracted, Renji was able to steal back his cake, but Byakuya noticed. He glared at Renji again, and unsheathed his sword. He held the blade towards the ground saying, "Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageoshi." Renji had freaked out upon seeing this, and then ran like hell for his life, while still protectively carrying the piece of cake in his hand. Byakuya soon chased after him, and the two were now engaged in a battle of cat and mouse, all the while destroying the Seiretei's buildings left and right.
Lol poor Renji xD but can you blame him, cake is delicious! :D Well, Review! Bye Bye!