A/N: So basically this is a one shot in response to the final scenes of 9x23. There are many theories floating around that possibly Arizona is having a breakdown. I read a really good one on LiveJournal by the author sucimejaka. I highly recommend reading it and all the comments on it. I really can't understand where Shonda is going with this, but I really hope it doesn't break Calzona apart. Thanks for reading.
"I'm sorry I don't understand where all of this is coming from… I thought that we were fine."
Kisses. Hot and rushed. Thunder crashing. Lightening flashing.
The sound of sloppy kisses and the grinding gears of the backup generators fill your ears.
You pull apart as the lights turn back on – almost like a realization.
"Oh God… I can't." You say as you pull away from her grasp.
The muffled "What?" is heard through the sounds of you shallow breaths.
"I can't," You say starring up at her. You clear your throat and pray silently that this is all a bad dream.
"It was a pleasure meeting you," You mumble as you turn around to compose yourself.
"Arizona." You pause, hand gripped tightly on the door. All you have to do is turn that handle and go back into reality. Just turn the handle.
"You are aloud to lose a little bit of control."
Just like that, you let go of your only escape and through yourself into her arms.
Hands roaming. Meaningless kisses. Discarded lab coats and broken vows.
You're mind drifts.
"Your head is running wild again. My dear we still have everything, and it's all in your mind."
You blink. You're eyes are wet and your throat is dry. You're sitting on the floor, you're knee's pressed to your chest. You're knee. You only have one, remember.
You're alone.
Where did she go?
The lights flicker off again.
You stare at your trembling hands, your wedding band reflecting off the constant lightening flashes.
You hear a lit knock at the door.
"Arizona?" The gentle, familiar voice fills your ears.
She slowly enters the dark room and pearches infront of you.
Your eyes are dark and your forhead is lined with sweat.
"Arizona? Baby? Are you okay?" She says, reaching her hand to touch your cheek
You shutter away from her touch.
"Lauren told me what happened." She says, her voice laced with concern.
Shouldn't she be mad?
"Callie- I-" You begin to say, your voice cracking.
"I'm taking you home. You need some rest Arizona. You've been working too hard."
Rest? You don't need rest.
"This is my fault. I was pushing you to hard. We just tried to sweep this under the rug instead of dealing with it." She said.
"You've been having real bad dreams, oh, oh. You used to lie so close to me, oh, oh. There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love, oh, our love, our love."
"I know you were having nightmares…" She whispers quietly.
Your eyes met hers.
Those dark brown eyes bring you back to Earth.
The fog in your head clears and you realize you are sitting on the floor in the Ped's lounge.
Then it hits you.
You ran out on Lauren.
You outstretched your arms to hug her and when the lights went out you tensed in her arms and screamed, pushing her away. You ran out of the on call room.
You haven't told anyone you were having nightmares.
Or flashbacks.
You haven't told anyone that you can't drive by the airport and hear the sounds of the jet engines roaring.
You haven't told anyone that you've been scared.
And alone.
You and Callie painted yourself a picture perfect life.
You smile and hold hands, but you don't talk.
Small talk is made over meals, but you don't really talk.
Callie wraps her warm hands around yours.
"Come on Arizona, let's go home."
"You're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again."