Form an Orderly Q
Kathryn Janeway leaned back on the swinging wooden bench and closed her eyes. The Indiana sun warmed her face as the sound of chirping insects surrounded her, and she found herself caught in a daydream from her childhood, something she had not allowed herself to contemplate whilst battling the perils of the Delta Quadrant. Clutching a mug of fine coffee, what seemed like her hundredth that week, Janeway swung slowly forwards and backwards, enjoying the peace and serenity of being home. It had been only two weeks since the successful return of Voyager to the Alpha Quadrant and Earth and this was the first time since their return that she'd had a moment to herself. It felt wonderful.
*ping*
Janeway opened her eyes with a startled grunt, awakened from her doze by the shrill red-alert call that was unmistakeably Voyager's. Disbelievingly, she glanced down at her clothes and saw the soft, pale green blouse she had put on that morning in her bedroom in Indiana. Janeway looked up and, confronted by a disturbing and impossible sight, spoke loudly.
"What the hell is going on?"
Surrounding the Captain was the bridge crew of Voyager. All wore non-Starfleet clothing except the bemused-looking Chakotay, who sported the familiar red command uniform. Harry Kim looked smart in a blue formal suit and Tom Paris brandished a pool cue as he swore at the viewscreen.
"Captain, I am detecting two ships on short-range sensors." Tuvok was the first to confront reality. Janeway mentally shook herself and, ignoring the absurdity of the situation, took command of the vessel she had thought – hoped – she would never set foot on again.
"On screen. Harry, find out where we are. Tuvok, systems report."
"All systems functioning normally."
"Captain, you're not going to believe this, but we're in the Delta Quadrant!"
On the viewscreen was the proof that Janeway least wanted to see. Menacing and very real, two Borg cubes loomed just beyond weapons range. As one, the crew stared, horrified.
Janeway inhaled sharply, her instincts kicking in. "Raise shields. Tom, get us out of here, Warp 9."
The ship responded to the skilled piloting of Paris and sped off in a flash of light.
***************
"Theories, people. Is this real? How did we get here, and why?" Janeway felt agitated inside, with all the emotions she had experienced in that faraway part of the galaxy resurfacing in one hard-to-swallow lump. But she was too experienced, too professional to allow it to show, even in this unexpected crisis. Her fellow officers shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, still wearing the clothes they had donned earlier, on Earth, Vulcan, a Talaxian colony – wherever they were before the unthinkable had happened.
Chakotay, hesitantly, started the speculation.
"Well, Captain, it certainly feels real. I ran a Level 4 diagnostic on the sensors, main computer and astrometrics, and everything came back normal. We are in the Delta Quadrant."
He sat back in his chair and turned to Kim, who spoke with the confidence he had acquired over years on Voyager.
"I ran a sweep for temporal anomalies. None were detected. Of course, if this were an alternate timeline…"
"It can't be, Harry." Paris replied. "If it was, first, we shouldn't remember the 'other timeline', and second, why would we be wearing these clothes if we never left Voyager?"
Paris spoke quickly, a laconic note to his voice, but Janeway caught a subtle note of panic, turning quickly to Torres, who held a PADD as she spoke.
"It's not a simulation, at least not one of any kind we have encountered. Those Borg ships were really there. Captain, permission to run an extended sensor sweep, inside and outside the ship. It will take a couple of hours, but we might learn something more."
"Permission granted. Keep me posted," replied Janeway. She stood slowly and turned to face her former colleagues. "Whatever is going on, whoever is responsible, we'll get to the bottom of it. If we have to find a way back to the Alpha Quadrant for a second time, we'll do it. I know I can count on you all. Tuvok, I want a full weapons check. Tom, Harry, check the shuttlecraft, engines and structural integrity – I want Voyager, if that's where we are, to be fully operational. Chakotay, you have the conn. Neelix, how about replicating some coffee – something tells me we're going to need it!"
"Aye aye, Captain." Neelix scuttled off as the ship's First Officer began to speak again.
"And what are your plans, Captain?" asked Chakotay, smiling. He already had a fair idea.
"I'm going to talk to the Doctor. He might be able to shed some light on this….phenomenon. In the meantime," she continued, glancing around the briefing room, "I think perhaps we should look like we are on Voyager. Uniforms, gentlemen, that's an order!"
Captain Janeway strode out of the briefing room and, defying her own orders, headed purposefully through the corridors and turbolifts towards the sickbay without the first consideration for her clothing.
*********
"Body functions normal, slightly elevated adrenaline levels, neurological activity within tolerance, no sign of hallucinogenic activity or temporal displacement – I'd say you are perfectly healthy, Captain, given the current situation."
The Doctor closed the medical tricorder with a flourish and set it down on a biobed.
"Thank you for your analysis, Doctor, but I need more than that. Is there any reason to suspect that this is not happening, that the crew are dreaming, in stasis, or whatever?"
"Not at all, Captain, in fact every crewmember I have examined so far has produced similar readings to yours. You are alive, here and now, and experiencing your surroundings as normal. How are you feeling?"
"How am I feeling?" Janeway shook her head, brushing a lock of hair from her face. "Not bad, considering we suddenly appeared back here, seventy thousand light years from Earth, when I was sitting on my front porch in Indiana just a half hour ago. Doctor, I want you to run genetic scans on the crew, and any other tests you haven't already performed short of cutting them open. I'll send you two crewmen shortly."
Janeway hopped off the biobed and touched the Doctor lightly on the arm.
"As you wish, Captain." The Doctor watched as she exited sick bay with the purposeful demeanour he had come to know and admire.
***********
Captain Janeway switched off the monitor she had been working at for the past three hours. She had the beginnings of a headache and felt as though things were beyond her control. One by one, reports had been coming in that all pointed to one stark conclusion – they had somehow been transported, along with Voyager herself, from various locations in the Alpha Quadrant to the Delta Quadrant, close to where their epic journey had begun all those years ago. The crew complement was as it had been when they reached home two weeks previously, along with Neelix, and not how it was when Voyager first entered the Delta Quadrant. She had been unable so far to contact any of their former allies in the region and she felt tired, old and totally stumped for ideas of how to proceed.
*ping*
"Ah, Kathy, why so glum?!"
Janeway waited a moment before lifting her head, processing the voice she heard in her mind. Wearily she looked up, knowing what – whom – she would see.
"Q," she sighed, "I suspected you all along."
Q, handsome and dashing in his Starfleet Admiral's dress uniform, strutted over to the Captain's desk.
"Now, now, Kathy, no need to be testy. I'm doing you a favour."
"Some favour, Q. Take us back, NOW! I will not play your games, I will not…."
*ping*
Janeway found herself in her quarters, sitting on the satin-sheeted bed and wearing a highly revealing nightrobe. She rose to face a smirking Q.
"Been here, done this. I wasn't interested then and I'm not now. Return us to where we belong, Q!"
Q, sitting comfortably in an easy chair, waved his arms nonchalantly.
"But my dear Kathy, this IS where you belong. You were happy here, imagine the possibilities! Exploration, technological discoveries, romance, you could have it all."
"I don't want romance, certainly not with you, and I don't want you here. I will explore the galaxy in my own time, Q. Now please, send us back to the Alpha Quadrant. Go and annoy the Borg for a change, or failing that, just leave us alone!"
"As you wish, Kathy. Au revoir…for now."
*ping*
Q disappeared, his amused chuckles fading away into the distance as Janeway struggled to free herself from the clingy fabric of the nightdress Q had provided. She turned her gaze upwards and rolled her eyes, tears just protruding from the corners.
"I bet he never put Jean-Luc Picard in a negligee," she muttered, half-laughing, half-crying.