Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.
"All you have to do is feed him, bathe him, and put him to bed," Danny Williams told Kamekona.
The big man nodded. "I can do that. Especially the feeding part. I'm good at that."
Danny stared at him suspiciously. "You are not to feed my kid Spam, do you hear me?"
"Brah, it's an island specialty. How can you deprive him of that."
"Easily," Danny replied. "Spam is an abomination. It's not natural—"
"Danny, we need to go," his husband, partner, and soulmate, Steve McGarrett, broke in.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming." He sent a final glare at Kamekona. "Remember, no Spam."
Kamekona nodded again. "I got you, brah. No Spam." He crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping Danny wouldn't notice.
The door closed behind the two men, and Kamekona turned his attention to his charge, Matt. The infant was in his swing in the living room, happily swinging back and forth.
"Look at you," Kamekona said. "You're too skinny. They don't feed you enough." He carried Matt into the kitchen, setting him in his high chair, but not fastening the tray in place. Kamekona found a jar of baby food on the counter. He stared at it derisively. "If this is what they're feeding you, it's no wonder you're so skinny. You need real food. Fortunately, I came prepared."
Kamekona retrieved the cooler he'd brought with him and brought it into the kitchen. He started setting things out. Curious, Matt shifted into dragon form and hopped onto the island, sticking his nose in the cooler. "Ah, ah, ah," Kamekona said. "It's not ready yet." Matt mewled piteously, so Kamekona took pity on him and fed him a shrimp from the supply he'd brought. Matt gulped it down eagerly and let out a chirp, clearly asking for more. "Patience," Kamekona told him.
Matt started squawking, sounding for all the world like he was starving. Kamekona opened a can of Spam and set it in front of the baby dragon. "Here, this will tide you over until the real food's ready."
Matt sniffed suspiciously at the Spam, then poked it with a claw. He seemed fascinated when it jiggled, and poked it again.
"Hey, hey, hey," Kamekona said. "Don't you know you're not supposed to play with your food? Here, try it." He broke off a small piece and fed it to the dragon, who almost took Kamekona's finger off in his eagerness to get to the food. Matt swallowed the bite, then dove into the remaining Spam, gobbling it up.
"A dragon after my own heart," Kamekona said with satisfiaction. "Your daddy doesn't know what he's missing."
Kamekona turned his attention to chopping ingredients for his famous garlic shrimp. Matt curiously stuck his nose into the pile and nearly lost it for his trouble. He hopped back with a squawk. "Careful there," Kamekona said. "Don't want to get hurt." Matt squawked in agreement and retreated further away on the island.
Kamekona dumped the ingredients in a frying pan and sautéed them. Once again, Matt approached, perching on the counter next to the stove. He poked a claw into the pan, then drew it back quickly with a yelp of pain.
"Hey, hey, hey, you gotta be careful. Your daddies aren't going to take it well if you get hurt." Kamekona checked the claw and decided there weren't any burn marks. He carried the dragon back to his high chair, but was baffled by how to strap him in, so he just left Matt there and turned back to his cooking.
When the shrimp were ready, Kamekona dished up a big plate and turned towards the dragon. Matt squawked and flapped his wings, opening his mouth in anticipation. Kamekona tossed a shrimp at him, and the dragon snapped it out of the air. He threw another one, and Matt snagged it again. It became a game, Kamekona throwing the shrimp and Matt catching them. Then a shrimp fell a little short, and Matt overbalanced, tumbling out of his chair and landing in a heap on the floor. He began mewling. Kamekona picked him up and set him on the island. "Maybe you better eat like a normal person."
The dragon ignored him and dove snout first into the plate of shrimp. Kamekona looked on in amusement at the dragon's obvious enjoyment of his food. When the plate was clean, Matt burped and curled up in a ball, falling asleep on the counter.
Kamekona was dismayed. "Hey, I don't think you're supposed to fall asleep there." He poked at the dragon, but Matt just shifted slightly and didn't wake. Kamekona tried lifting the baby dragon, but he slid bonelessly out of his arms. Shrugging, Kamekona turned his attention to the dishes.
A little while later, Danny and Steve returned. Danny came into the kitchen and saw his son asleep on the counter, still surrounded by dirty dishes and bits of food. "What in the hell is going on here?!" he demanded.
"Danny," Steve admonished. "Not in front of Matt."
Danny made a visible effort to calm himself. "Sorry," he said in a slightly more reasonable tone. "Would you care to explain what this is?"
"Dinner," Kamekona responded.
"Dinner?!" Danny stalked over to the counter and picked up the jar of baby food. "This is dinner. I don't know what you've been feeding my kid." Danny spotted the empty can of Spam. "Oh, no, tell me you didn't."
"He liked it," Kamekona defended himself.
"No, no, no! You can't tell me anybody could possibly like that abomination!"
Steve put a hand reassuringly on Danny's shoulder. "Calm down. Matt doesn't seem to be any worse for the experience." Matt belched in his sleep. "Well, mostly not anyway."
"Okay, okay, fine."
Steve looked at Kamekona. "Maybe you'd better go now."
The big man dried his hands. "Good idea, brah. Catch you later. Call me if you need me to look after the keiki again."
"Don't count on it," he heard Danny mutter as he left.
A/N: Sorry bswindle20, no shaved ice. :)