A/N: Inspired by a kid in my MOAS class who loves to remind me of a picture in my binder of Kakashi doing the no pants dance. However, this is not Kakashi, and I'd like to thank that kid for being awesome and inspiring this drabble-ish type of fic.
Warnings/Notes: Crack. Shonen-ai implied. Pants Thief!Naruto. Bush Wearing!Sasuke. XD
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
"Hurrah! No pants! No pants! Now everybody dance! Dance the 'No Pants Dance'!"
A Dance for the Pants
by Mint Pizza Queen
"Naruto, give them back."
"Nope."
"...Naruto..."
"Na-ah."
"DAMNIT NARUTO!"
Konoha's Number One Hyperactive Ninja cackled evilly as he stepped just out of Sasuke's reach, and thus proceeded to do an odd dance that resembled the Macarena. He swung his hips around in to emphasize a yet to be spoken point towards his companion.
"You want them? Come and get them."
Sasuke crouched lower in the bush and leveled a glare at the blonde. "Damnit, Naruto, give me back my pants!"
Naruto shook his tush. "Na, I like these pants. They look really good on me, don't you think?"
"Naruto—" Sasuke hissed with a tone that warned him of painful consequences after the entire ordeal.
"Don't you think?" Naruto glared at Sasuke who cringed into the bushes.
"Yes, they look good on you, now give them back!" Sasuke ruffled angrily from his spot.
Naruto stepped towards the Uchiha. Sasuke, taking this to his advantage, lunged forward to grab him—
--only Naruto stepped out of the way just in time and allowed Sasuke to fall on his face, revealing his bare-naked tush.
Sasuke scrambled back into the shrubbery, and peeked out with eyes blazing with Sharingan.
"I'm going to kill you," Sasuke hissed with eyes narrowing, leaves of the plant violently shaking.
Naruto grinned, and then leaned against a tree casually. "Now wouldn't it be a shame if that bush and all its little bushy friends suddenly disappeared from a sudden and mysterious wild fire?"
Sasuke's eyes widened. "You wouldn't," He grabbed the plant and held it close—just in case. "Would you?"
The Kyuubi holder smirked. Sasuke's eyes widened. "You would!"
Naruto did another little dance by kicking his legs in the air. "You better believe that I would!"
Sasuke wanted to cry at this point. "Naruto, if you give me back my pants, I promise you that when we get back to the village I'll get you another pair just like them, okay?"
The blonde pretended to contemplate but then shrugged. "Meh, why would I when I have these ones that are already broken in for me? I hate new stuff. It's all stiff and smells weird."
Sasuke's eye twitched. "Those I bought yesterday."
Naruto grinned. "And you wore them this morning, so they were broken in! Besides, why don't you wear my pants?" Naruto pointed to the orange pair that lay innocently on the ground next to Sasuke's sanctuary. "We can switch clothes for the day! I wear your stuff, you wear mine!"
The Uchiha looked horrified. "Me wear your stuff? I don't know where they've been!"
Naruto pointed to the pants. "They," he then pointed to his behind. "Have been here. And that," he pointed to his shirt that was strewn across a rock. "Have been here!" He pointed to his bare chest.
Glare. "Not what I meant, idiot."
The blonde threw a hand up to his cheek and pretended to appear offended. "Wah! Sasuke's so mean! I think I'll leave now! With my new pants!"
Sasuke panicked. "No! Wait! Stop!" No! MY PANTS!
Naruto paused in mid-step. "Why should I? You're so mean to me!" He pretended to cry.
The Uchiha gritted his teeth. "Look I'm—I," he forced out the rest of the apology. "I'm sorry."
The blonde eyed him. "Really?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Bored look.
Naruto whooped and spun in a circle. "Yay! Sasuke apologized! Sasuke does love me!" He paused in his spin. "You do, right?"
The dark haired boy gave him a look. "Uh--"
The blonde stuck out a pouty lip. "Y-you don't—love me?" Puppy eyes...initiated!
Sasuke waved his arms. "I didn't say that!"
"Then say that you do!"
"Fine! I do love you! Can I please have my pants back?" Sasuke pleaded, anger rising at being tortured in such a pathetic yet succeeding manner.
Naruto let out a sigh. "Well, I suppose—only on one condition!" He held up a finger and grinned. "You have to do the 'No Pants Dance'."
Chirp.
Chirp.
Chirp.
Boom.
"WHAT!" Sasuke shrieked, anger raising a deep redness to his exposed skin.
"Careful of your temper, Sasuke," Naruto smirked and pointed to the bush. "If you get hot enough, you may set the bush on fire."
The Uchiha clamped his mouth shut yet his eye continued to twitch spasmodically. "Naruto, when I get out of this, so Kami helps you—"
"The pants with a dance, or commando in Konoha," He grinned with fangs revealed. "Your choice."
Sasuke froze. He could just do the damned dance to get them back, but of course, knowing Naruto, the blonde could be doing it just for blackmail material and run off with his trousers anyway. Or he could wear Naruto's cursed pants and make a beeline for his home and change, but Naruto would still have his trousers, and oh damnit, why? What did he do to deserve this!
A lot apparently.
Sasuke sighed. "Fine..."
-----
"HAHA!"
"Shut up."
"IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!"
"I said shut it."
Naruto keeled over from his stool laughing. He held his stomach in apparently pain and when he calmed enough to gasp for air, he took one look at Sasuke and burst into a fit of incoherent gibbers and giggles.
Sasuke wasn't too pleased.
"Naruto, you promised you wouldn't say anything." The Uchiha warned with a glare.
The blonde cackled. "I promised I wouldn't tell a soul, I didn't say I wasn't going to tell anyone."
Black eyes widened. "You—"
"Hey, Naruto old buddy!" Kiba approached, hand held in the air in greeting, and a smile plastered on his face.
Naruto whirled around and jumped to his feet. "Hey Kiba! You wouldn't believe what happened earlier with Sasuke! Oh, I wish you were there to see it! It was the funniest thing ever!"
Sasuke buried his face in his hands. "Oh no—here it comes..."
"He did the 'No Pants Dance'!"
-End-