Sai-chan in Wonderland
By Sakura
Warning: This was inspired by CLAMP's Miyuki-chan in
Wonderland video and NOT the saccharine version by a certain gaijin studio who
shall remain nameless (*cough* Disney *cough*), so it's going to get a bit
ecchi and limony. Also there's yaoi in here. If you don't like this kind of
stuff or are under 18, then run away as fast as you can. Otherwise, come on
down and enjoy!!
Sai
sat on the couch dozing off and on as Rowan had taken control of the TV and was
now watching a rather boring documentary on star formation or such. He was
never interested in space, that being his blue haired friend's element. Give
him a show on salmon spawning or anything related to fish and he'd be glued to
the screen for hours. Soon the auburn haired ronin was fast asleep, his head on
the armrest.
*****
Sai woke not remembering falling
asleep. The TV was now off and Rowan was nowhere in sight. He rose stretching
then proceeded to go up to his room to check up on the many fish he kept in his
room.
Hearing
footsteps, Kento popped his head out of the kitchen. "Hey Sai, we're kinda
low on food in here. Could you run to the store 'n' get us some stuff?"
Sighing,
Sai turned to his chubby friend. "All right, but try not to each so much
this time."
"Hey!
I'm a growing guy!"
Sai
let out another sigh as he headed down the front hall and out the house.
*****
The packages he was carrying blocked
his view so Sai didn't know he was about to bump into someone until it was too
late. "Oh I'm terribly sorry," he said picking up some of the spilled
groceries.
"I
haven't the time! I'm late! I'm late! He's going to kill me! I'm late! I'm
late!" said Yuli who just happened to be dressed in a bunny costume and
quickly hopped onto his skateboard and dashed off.
Curious,
Sai called after the boy. "Yuli! Wait!"
"No
time! I'm late! I'm late!" came the reply.
Stashing
the food in Mia's jeep, the water ronin decided to see what the little
troublemaker was up to. He ran after the boy and finally caught up to him only
to see a gigantic hole suddenly appear before them. Thinking the Dynasty had
decided to attack again, Sai quickly called his subarmor and called out to the
'bunny'. "Yuli watch out!"
Paying
the ronin no heed, the boy sailed right into the hole repeating "I'm
late!" over and over.
"Yuli!"
He immediately leapt after him and fell into the hole just as it was closing.
*****
When he came to, Sai saw he was
lying on a floor that was nothing but one seamless mirror. Before him were a
pair of doors carved of ivory, its one feature took his breath away. A woman
hung in the center of the door, her arms and legs disappearing into the door.
She had long brown hair and was dressed in a rather revealing outfit.
"M-Mia?!" he said shocked at what
the Dynasty had done to the woman who had so generously taken them in.
"Konnichi
wa," she said smiling.
"Mia!
It's me Sai! Don't you recognize me?"
"Please
go through these doors," she said not showing any sign of recognition.
Seeing
he wasn't going to get anywhere, he figured the only way to free Mia was to
find the Dynasty scum who did this and make him undo it. He searched for some
way to open the door but couldn't find any. "Um... excuse me but there
aren't any doorknobs," he said.
"They're
right here," Mia said shoving her chest closer to Sai's face.
"Th-those
are the knobs?" he asked, blushing furiously.
"Hai."
Before he knew what was happening, Mia's arms broke free from the doors and
grabbed his hands placing them on the 'knobs.' "Here you go."
Sai
tried desperately not to get a nosebleed as his head was pressed closer to the
woman's chest any of the ronins had ever been. Suddenly he felt himself pushed
through Mia herself and landed face flat on the floor. Looking up he saw he was
indeed on the other side of the doors, which promptly then disappeared.
Extremely
confused now, the water ronin turned to find he was standing in the middle of a
clearing in a forest. Before him stood Lady Kayura, dressed in her fighting
clothes. Actually there were TWO Kayuras. Both were identical except for the
colors of their clothing. The first Kayura wore a teal/gray outfit while the
other had a red/gray one.
"Kayura?"
Sai asked, cautiously. Both girls were looking at him strangely.
"I'm
Kai-ra," said the red/gray Kayura.
"I'm
Kay-ra," said the other. "What's your name?"
Deciding
it would be better to play along, he answered them. "I'm Sai."
"Now
that we know each other, let's fight," said the red/gray Kayura.
"Um...
could you explain what I'm doing here first?" asked Sai timidly. He
definitely didn't want to fight these girls. Especially after what Rowan had
told him of his fights with her.
The
girls however were in the mood for a fight and lunged at him, drawing twin pairs
of starlight swords. Sai was forced to summon his full armor and fight back,
which he did, but only halfheartedly. After a few minutes, the twin Kayuras
paused to touch palms. Suddenly a teal light surrounded the one in red and a
red light surrounded her twin. Before he knew what they were doing, the twins
sent twin beams of red and teal at him.
The
lights just missed him and the ground they were standing on broke apart,
swallowing Sai whole. Only a small column of rock was left standing in the
clearing on which stood the twin Kayuras, their auras twisting and bending to
form two halves of a heart.
*****
After falling through a large crack,
the auburn haired ronin found himself in a field of flowers. Also his armor was
gone and the outfit he had on before was in its place. Putting a hand in his
pocket, he sighed in relief at the familiar feel of his armor ball. "Now
where am I? This certainly isn't the Dynasty unless they've done some
redecorating." Looking around he saw a small round bistro table with a
porcelain tea set on it.
"What
a strange place to put a table and there's no chairs." As if he was drawn
to it, Sai went over to the table and the teapot began to pour him a cup.
"Um, thanks," he said politely. Feeling parched all of a sudden, Sai
carefully took a small sip. The warm liquid was sweet as it flowed down his
throat and unable to resist the flavor, the ronin finished the whole cup.
"That
certainly was good tea, though it was a bit sweet for me." As he put the
teacup back on its saucer, he began to feel a strange tingle all over his body.
Sai stood in horror as he shrunk down to the size of a bug or did the table
grow and he stayed the same? He wasn't to sure as to what exactly happened.
"Well,
I definitely know not to drink the water around here," he said trying to
make a joke out of the situation. The flowers he had been standing amongst now
towered over him like a dense jungle. "Now I know how a bug feels."
"What
makes you say that?" came a voice ahead of him.
Turning
around, Sai saw a clump of mushrooms and lounging on one large one, was a
caterpillar. In one of its six hands was a pipe leading to a hookah nearby.
"Uh... hello," he said, staring at the bug who suspiciously looked
like Naaza.
"Hello,"
replied the caterpillar. "It's very rude to stare."
"Gomen,
it's just that you look like someone I know."
"Who
are you?" asked the caterpillar, blowing smoke letters as it smoked on the
pipe.
"My
name's Sai," answered the ronin. "Could you tell me where I am?"
"That's
simple, you're here."
Seeing
that he wasn't going to get a straight answer out of this Naaza caterpillar, he
began to move on. "Stupid bug. I hate being three inches tall," he
muttered under his breath.
Unfortunately,
the Naaza caterpillar had excellent hearing. "I am three inches tall and
you don't see me complaining do you?" A u shaped smoke ring blew past
Sai's head.
"I'm
sorry. It's just that a lot's happened to me lately."
"Explain."
This time an X flew by.
"Well,
first I fall down this big hole chasing after a friend of mine, then I find a
these doors with a girl I know attached to them, and then I come across a pair
of twins who look like a friend ours. Now I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere
talking to a caterpillar who looks like an old enemy and I'm not my normal
self."
"One
side will make you larger and the other will make you smaller," said the
Naaza caterpillar suddenly after a long silence.
"Pardon?"
"One
side of this mushroom will make you larger and the other will make you
smaller," he said getting annoyed now. "It's obvious you don't want
to be here so why don't you just go."
"Which
side will make me bigger?" asked Sai.
"How
should I know? Do I look like a mushroom eater? Now go away."
Shrugging
his shoulders, Sai tore off a piece of the Naaza caterpillar's mushroom from
each side. Being the wonderfully kind boy he is, Sai thanked the Naaza
caterpillar and walked a few feet away from the mushroom so he didn't squash
him if he grew.
Looking
at the mushroom pieces he tried to decide which one to try first. "They
both look the same, but there's no way to tell which is which." Taking one
piece from his hand, Sai closed his eyes and silently prayed it was the one
that made things bigger. "Here goes nothing. Besides what else do I have
to loose?" Licking the piece timidly, he waited.
After
a few moments the familiar tingle returned and he grew till he was as tall as
the flowers. "Well that proves the mushroom works," he said smiling a
little. He continued to nibble at the mushroom until he had returned to his
normal height, using the table as a yardstick.
"This
place is definitely weird," he said looking around at the scenery.
"The sooner I find Yuli and get out of here intact the better." With
that the auburn haired boy headed towards the trees off in the distance.
*****
Sai rested against a tree and was
about to doze off again when a voice above purred into his ear, "Konnichi
wa."
He
jumped at the voice and turned around to see a human sized cat lounging on a
branch above where he had been seconds earlier. Actually it was a boy dressed
like a cat. He had blond hair, which covered one violet eye and the costume he
had on was that of a tiger striped cat. However the costume was for a girl so
it comprised of a leotard, thigh high boots, elbow length gloves and an orange
choker with a catbell as well as the obligatory ears and tail. 'Sage?!' thought
Sai. 'Why is he dressed like that?'
"Um,
hello," Sai answered back nervously. He didn't like the way the boy was
looking at him like he was something good to eat. "You wouldn't happen to
know where I am would you?"
The
cat boy smiled, his violet eyes glowing in the forest light, then jumped out of
the tree landing soundlessly on his feet. "Kawaii," he said taking
hold of Sai's chin and lifting it so he could get a better look at him.
"What is your name?"
"I'm
Sai," he said blushing now. He knew he was cute many a girl had said so,
but to hear it from someone who looked exactly like one of his best friends
made him embarrassed.
"I'm
Cheshire Cat," said the Sage kitty. "Would you like to play with
me?" The Cheshire Cat was now rubbing up against Sai's body.
"Sorry,
but I'm in a bit of a hurry," he said pushing the Cheshire Cat away.
"I'd really like to get out of here, but I kind of lost my way."
"If
you play with me, I'll show you the way out," Cheshire Cat said purring
into the ronin's ear and playing with one of his sideburns.
"I-I
really can't do that," he said blushing and backing away.
"Oh?
And why not?" The cat boy wasn't about to let his kawaii prey get away so
easily and began to advance on him again.
"B-because
you... you look like a friend of mine," said Sai not realizing he was
being forced back against another tree.
"That's
a problem?" said the cat boy, slightly hurt.
"Of
course it is!" Sai was now against the tree and the Cheshire Cat was
blocking his only route of escape. "I-I could never think of my friends
like that!"
"Oh
really now?" Cheshire Cat leaned in closer and licked Sai's cheek.
"Mmm, sweet," he said going in for another lick, this time on his
neck.
"S-stop
it!" Sai pushed the cat boy away and ran off.
Licking
his lips, the Cheshire Cat smiled. "You won't get away, my kawaii little
Sai-chan." As if on cue, Sai tripped over a loose tree root and fell on
his face.
"Itai!
(Ouch!)" he said rubbing his nose. He was about to stand up, when
something big pushed him onto the ground. Looking up the cat boy had his hands
firmly on his shoulders, a feral grin on his face.
"This
is fun, but I can think of something more fun," he said, then proceeded to
lick Sai's neck and face. Sai immediately began struggling again, but Cheshire
Cat was surprisingly strong for his slender build and managed to keep the
auburn haired ronin on the ground. "Don't worry little one you'll get your
turn," he said purring as he began to remove Sai's shirt.
"N-no...
d-don't..." The rest of Sai's protests were cut off by a deftly placed
kiss to his lips.
Now
that his 'prey' had been sufficiently silenced, the cat boy began to explore Sai's
mouth and chest. Within minutes, Sai had ceased struggling and began to stroke
the golden hair on Cheshire Cat's head as he returned the kiss.
*****
Sai had finally gotten away from the
overly affectionate Cheshire Cat while he slept and was now continuing through
the woods. A small pang of guilt crept into the ronin's heart. "I should
have at least said goodbye to him. He wasn't really a bad person." He
blushed at the memory of waking up in the cat's arms after a very interesting
and tiring night.
He
didn't realize he had walked out of the trees until the sunlight made him shut
his eyes in pain until they'd adjusted to the sudden brightness. When he was
able to see again, he looked around and saw an English country cottage
surrounded by a white picket fence.
Curious,
he passed through the gate and politely knocked on the door. "Maybe they
know where I am," he said waiting for an answer, which never came. He
knocked no more time and when no one answered, he decided to try the back of
the house. "Perhaps they're out back," he said.
Walking
around the house, he came across another strange sight. A banquet table filled
the entire yard surrounded by many chairs. Each of the chairs had a place
setting for tea and various teapots and cakes covered the center of the table.
At the head sat a boy with blue hair dressed in only a dark blue vest and
skintight black pants. An enormous top hat sat on his head and a card that read
7/9 stuck out from the band around it. Next to him sat another boy. He was kind
of chubby and wore a similar outfit, but this one was brown and he had a
headband with bunny ears on. Both of them were sipping the tea and eating the
cakes as they talked.
"Excuse
me," Sai began, but before he could say what he wanted, the boy with the
top hat shot up and yelled,
"No
room!"
"No
room!" repeated the other boy who was now grabbing the cakes and running
around the table trying to block Sai.
"But
there's plenty of room," Sai said. How could there be no room at the table
if the boys were the only ones there?
"Well,
it's very rude ta come ta a party if ya aren't invited!" the blue haired
boy shot back.
"I'm
sorry, but I just wanted to know if anyone here knows the way out of
here," Sai said, apologizing. "Um... What are you celebrating?"
"None
of your business now get outta here!" yelled the boy with the bunny ears.
"You'll
have to excuse him, he hasn't had his present yet," said the Rowan
look-a-like.
"Oh
is it his birthday?"
"Are
ya kidding? We don't have birthdays hera."
"You
don't?" Sai asked confused.
"Of
course not! We have UNbirthdays," said the Kento look-a-like.
"So
it's your... unbirthday?" guessed Sai. The boy nodded proudly. "Um,
omedetou. (congratulations)"
"If
you wanna get outta hera, ya'll have to go see the king. All the ways around
hera belong to him," said the blue haired boy.
"The
king?"
"Yeah,
but I doubt he'd let you go," said the other boy.
"Um,
why's that?" Sai was getting that uneasy feeling again for the boy with
the top hat was now staring at him. "I-is there something on my
face?"
"No,"
he said. "When's yer unbirthday?"
"My
unbirthday?" What an odd thing to ask, Sai thought, but then again the
whole place was weird. "Um, I guess today would be my unbirthday."
"Well
in that case, I just can't let ya go without givin' ya yer present now can
I?" said the Rowan look-a-like with a grin appearing on his face.
Sai
recognized the look on the boy's face and knew exactly what 'present' he wanted
to give him. He had seen the very same look on the Cheshire Cat's face.
"Uh... that's nice of you, but you really don't have to give me
anything," he said backing away.
A
pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and pulled him against the Kento
look-a-like's chest. "But we have to. It's the rules," he said
placing a kiss on the back of Sai's neck.
'Oh
no! Not again!' thought the auburn haired boy as he struggled to escape the
other's grasp.
"He's
right, ya know. The king'll have our hides if he finds out we didn't give ya
yer present," the boy with the top hat said before wrapping his arms
around both boys and placing a kiss on Sai's still protesting mouth.
Seeing
it was no use trying to escape, Sai just mentally sighed and let the boys give
him his unbirthday 'present'.
*****
Once he had been properly given his
unbirthday 'present' and been properly said goodbye to, Sai was sent on his
merry way toward the mysterious king's palace.
The
directions the blue haired boy had given him were very precise and he had found
himself in the king's rose gardens in no time. Actually the palace was only an
hour's walk from the cottage so it wasn't hard to miss. The castle was your
everyday, run-of-the-mill, faery-tale style castle so Sai paid it no attention.
What
drew his attention were the white roses, or more exactly, the three men
painting them. Two had long hair while the third had short, messy dark blue
hair. All three wore nothing but painter's aprons and extremely short butt
hugging underwear.
"Ano...
what are you doing?" Sai asked, trying not to blush or stare too long at
the barely clothed men.
"What's
it look like!? We're painting the roses red," said the blue haired man.
"I
can see that, but why?" Sai asked.
"We're
painting them red because the king told us to plant only red ones," said
one of the longhaired men with red hair. "But, he," he continued
pointing at his white haired companion, "got the wrong seeds and planted
white ones."
"It
wasn't my fault I couldn't read the package!" said the white haired man.
"It was Anubis's job to get the seeds anyway!"
"So
it's my fault now!?" yelled Anubis. "I was YOUR job to keep his
majesty busy, but NO you had to have your fun with Sh'ten!"
"Can
I help it he's irresistible?" shot back the white haired man, patting the
redhead, Sh'ten, on the rear.
"Stop
that!" Sh'ten said swatting the hand away. "If HE sees these we're in
for it."
Just
then a furious bellow rang out. "WHO THE HECK PLANTED WHITE ROSES!?"
"Great,
just great. Look what you did," Anubis said, glaring at Sai.
"Me?
I didn't do anything."
"Oh
no? Just who interrupted us in the middle of our work then?" Sh'ten said,
furiously. The men were crowding around him now, intent on bodily harm.
"I-I'm
sorry," Sai stammered, "I-I just..."
"Silly
boy don't you know curiosity killed the cat?" said the white haired man.
Sai gulped, then suddenly remembered he still had his armor with him and was
about to call on it, when a voice said,
"Rajura!
Anubis! Sh'ten! Get over here at once!"
Breathing
a sigh of relief, Sai watched as the men timidly approached a boy with long
black hair dressed in only a pair of tight jeans. The men immediately bowed
before the boy pleading with him to punish them. However, he wasn't paying
attention to them, his gaze was now fixed on Sai.
'Ryo!!?
Ryo's the king?' Sai could only stare in shock at what appeared to be yet
another friend. 'What the hell's going on here?'
"You
there! Come here," Ryo ordered. Trembling Sai, came up to the boy king and
bowed. It felt really weird to be bowing before him because of his looking like
Ryo. He felt a hand slip under his chin and lifted his face towards the king's.
Ryo's tiger blue eyes bore into his sea green ones. "What's your name,
cutie?" he asked an all too familiar look coming to his eyes.
"S-Sai,
your majesty," Sai replied, shyly.
"Sai,
ne? I like that. I might be persuaded to forget about the roses if you give me
this pretty little toy of yours," King Ryo said to the three men.
"He's
not ours," said Sh'ten.
"We
could care less what you want with him," added Anubis.
"Is
that so?" The men nodded simultaneously. "Very well then, I shall
decide on your punishments later." The men became disappointed and glared
at Sai, jealously.
"Um...
I-I really must be going." Sai then dashed away from the Ryo look-a-like,
taking the only opening, which was the palace door. He didn't even notice where
he was and ran blindly down dark hallways with the king chasing after him.
"Don't
be shy, pretty one! I'll be gentle!" he yelled as he followed the auburn
haired ronin around another corner. "Sai!"
*****
He thrashed about on the couch,
limbs flying about. "That must be one helluva nightmare," Kento
remarked as Sage held onto Sai's legs.
"Sai!
Sai wake up!" Ryo said shaking him gently while trying to avoid being hit
by the boy's arms.
"I
got 'im," said Rowan and held Sai's wrists down.
"Sai,
c'mon buddy wake up!" Kento said.
"C'mon,
Sai wake up!"
The
sudden inability to move and shaking caused the sleeping ronin to open his eyes
and scream. "Gyah!! Get away from me you hentai! (perv)" With that,
the bearer of Torrent dashed out of the house breaking the sound barrier.
"What
was all that about?" Kento asked, perplexed.
"Next
time, ya wanna mix us drinks Kento, make sure we're not here first," Rowan
said.
"By
the way what was in that stuff?" Ryo asked.
"I
do NOT want to know," Sage said, putting his two cents in.
"How
the hell do I know? I can't even remember what I had for lunch today," the
chubby ronin said, and for Kento not to remember what he ate was proof enough
that whatever he did use was not worth knowing about.
"Might
as well go after him," Ryo said putting on a jacket.
The
other two ronin just shook their heads as Kento plopped down on the now vacant
couch and began flipping through the TV channels.
~Owari~
