A/N: Okay so this is my first yaoi story… its somewhat of a request from two friends of mine. They had a Facebook rp of ConnerxZazie and kind off requested me to write a completely crack couple fan fic… at first I was going to make it a one shot but then it turns to chapter and well now I'm just rambling. So… let's get this story started shall we.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi, it belongs to Asada Hiroyuki.

Couple: Connor X Zazie...

Chapter 1

It was late in the evening, the sounds of nurses shoes clicking on the hard floor echoed through the hospital floor. Conner's was sitting patiently waiting for Thunderland's news on Sunny's status, Conner was hopeful that he might be able to bring Sunny's heart back though he knew it was probably impossible.

"Shit man..." Conner sighed placing his hands though his hair.

"Nervous?" The raven hair boy asked as he sat by Conner.

Conner shot him a no shit look making Zazie scowl at him.

"Whatever…" Zazie mumble getting to leave.

"Zazie I'm scared..."

"Don't be scared, I am sure the Pervy Doctor will do everything in their power to make sure she will be okay," He assured him. As Conner turned to look at him, he notice Zazie smiled at him. It wasn't a happy smile however; it was more awkward, as if he was trying to make him smile too.

Conner sighed, half wanting to believe his words, yet his heart just could not.

"Come on Conner. Thunderland wants to have a word with you," an older letter bee said, making Conner turn around, Zazie placed a reassuring hand on Conner's shoulder as they starred to walk down the very quiet corridor.

Deep inside Conner was a mess, wondering what would happen to Sunny.

Would she get worse? Mentally kicking himself dismissed that thought and tried to remain positive. There must be something else Thunderland could do.

"Ah, Conner" Came the familiar voice of the Doctor.

As Conner spun around, He saw the tall figure of the authoritative man, holding some papers in his hands.

"Doctor, will Sunny...?" Conner enquired, watching as the Doctor sped on ahead of them and lead the way to her room.

"Well, I'm not sure. Sunny is a special case, like Suede, she kept part of her heart but if it's anything like Suede's case she won't remember anything. But for now she is sleeping so we will not know until I run some more test on her,"

Conner sighed, leaning against Zazie for comfort as they walked.

Seems like this predicament was getting worse and worse. His hope of having her back just kept getting away from him.

As the Doctor issued an awkward smile, as he made his way into the room where she lay, probably in no fit state for visitors.

"Conner... if you keep frowning like that you are going to get really bad frown lines when you are a withered old man," Zazie joked, nudging his arm slightly. Conner looked at him and saw him smiling at him. Usually he would smile back, but not this time.

How could I smile at a time like this?

"Yeah... and you're going to be like a whiny old lady if you keep nagging me," Conner replied, a lot colder than He anticipated.

Mentally cringing he wondered if Zazie took it to heart, but when he looked at him, he just shrugged it off.

Thank God for that, I did not mean for it to sound so harsh.

As Conner, eyes found their way to the floor he felt Zazie's arm wrap around his shoulder and pull Conner against his side.

"Come on misery guts, let's get you back home,"

At that moment in time it was the best idea he had ever said.

Conner weakly nodded, and was almost being dragged out of the sickly white washed building by the shorter boy. He didn't mind of course, if Conner had his way, he would never want to see this place ever again.

I just... want to be able to smile again, and I know that when I am with Zazie he makes me feel like that. Why... why do I feel so... useless?

Conner sighed and leaned against a nearby street lamp, feeling a sudden cold rush enter his body. His eyes just watched Zazie's relaxed figure as, Zazie spoke to the letter bee taking his place while he took a long needed vacation.

How was it that he could always be so calm, and relaxed? Conner wished he could have been more like him, then perhaps he wouldn't be feeling as rotten as he did right now.

"Ready to go?" He called out to me, slowly walking to were Conner was.

Conner gave a weak nod, turning his gaze away.

It wasn't like he didn't want to look at him; it was just that he couldn't. It was already hard enough for Conner to not cry right now.

"Come on Conner, cheer up a little. It's not like they said she is dying," Zazie tried to console, which of course did not work.

Conner stared at him, not knowing what to say back to that.

Yes, He knew she was not dying, but because of what Thunderland said he though there was always that chance things could go from bad to worse.

"How can I cheer up when she is lying in there and all those stupid Doctors ever do is rush around and panic!" Conner said severely, resting his head back against the lamp post.

Biting the inside of his lip, Conner cursed himself.

Conner knew that he shouldn't be lashing out at Zazie, he hadn't done anything wrong, but right now, he just couldn't stop this fury. Sighing a little, he heard Zazie's voice again.

"Alright, no need to bite my head off you know,"

"I'm sorry Zazie, just right now…" I need to vent.

Zazie shrugged and started to walk. "You coming or what?" he asked stopping a few steps ahead. Conner sighed and followed.

The journey was in total silence as Conner's eyes just concentrated on the scenery passing them by. His head was a mess, And he had subconsciously convinced himself that now things were doomed and going to get worse. He just couldn't retain that optimism that Zazie had; a part of him had just given up hope.

Everything was just a blur to him, and his heart continued to hurt inside.

He wanted Sunny back, happy and healthy; he wanted to see that smile she had whenever he would compliment on her cookies. He never thought he would miss that, but he did...

Conner snapped out of his daze as he felt Zazie's hand rest on his shoulder.

Even after everything, he was trying to be supportive for him. Conner wished he could've given something back right now instead of sulking like an immature child.

Soon enough they were at Conner's home. He could feel all my emotions piling up and getting stronger by the second.

This just wasn't home without her, it would never be the same.

"Come on Conner," Zazie said softly, walking on ahead of me to the front door.

Swallowing hard Conner just felt as if he couldn't bear to go inside and be constantly reminded of her. Even though she was still able to make cookies for him, it just wasn't the same.

Breathing deeply Conner followed Zazie's slim figure to the front door and reached for his keys his pants pocket. As Conner rammed them into the lock, He just continued to think about how he was becoming so riled up and snappy at every little thing.

Conner hoped That Zazie wasn't taking this personally. Turning the keys in the lock Conner pushed the door open and they both walked inside. Upon entering, Conner threw his keys down on the table and found himself storming off.

He was behaving so appallingly but he couldn't help himself. She was suffering in silence and he just couldn't handle it any more.

"Conner! Wait!" Zazie shouted to Conner but he was long gone up the stairs on the way to his room. He needed to get away, He needed to relax a little and unwind.

This constant nagging in his brain of what the Doctor's told him was eating him up inside.

Stomping up the stairs to his room Conner shoved the door open and walked inside. Right now, he didn't care if Zazie was following him or not, right now he needed to think.

As he sat down on the bed, head in his hands, trying to figure out what the hell was going in though his brain, when his ears detected the faint creaking sound of his bedroom door. Zazie had obviously followed him up here, worried about his unusual behavior.

"For God's sake Conner! Calm the fuck down! You're going to have a breakdown if you carry on like this!" He almost pleaded.

As Conner raised his head and looked at Zazie standing by his door, Conner felt a wave of anger wash over him completely.

Calm down? CALM DOWN?

"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down! I have just been told that Sunny might never be the same! How am I meant to feel Zazie?" Conner shouted in rage, glaring at him before placing his head back into his hands.

Conner heard Zazie sigh and shuffle around the room.

"Well, you're meant to stop acting like such a kid and grow up! Yes, she might never get her heart back, but it's not the end of the fucking world!"

Conner was gripping onto his head tighter he could just feel the anger continuing to rise, and the heat burning his face.

He has no right to lecture me about growing up! How can he say that when he has no fucking idea how this is affecting me?

Conner though.

Getting to his feet and just glaring at the shorter boy Conner returned;

"You have no right to tell me how to behave! You haven't even been through what I am going through, you have no fucking idea how this is affecting me!"

Whilst his hands were starting to ball into fists, Conner watched as Zazie neared him, his stance sending off a negative impulse that seared through Conner.

Narrowing his eyes, he glared at Conner coldly.

"Actually… I fucking do. How the hell do you think I feel? I lost both my fucking parents to a fucking Gaichuu Conner, you're so lucky. You don't know what I would off given up for one of them to still have enough heart to function, fuck I would give up my heart if it would bring either of them back. So don't start having a go at me! Maybe if you weren't so self obsessed then this wouldn't have happened!"

Conner was getting nearer to the younger bee with his hands balled into fists he growled angrily; "Oh right, so I suppose all this is my fault is it?"

"Yes, it is! If you weren't so fucking obsessed with eating then maybe you would of fucking being their to protect her! But since you are so self obsessed and in your own perfect little world, you didn't notice that she was with the reverse. I mean fuck, Lag was in town for five fucking minutes and he found out, while you take deliveries there every fucking day!"

Zazie's words actually made Conner speechless.

Conner's eyes looked downwards at the ground and his hands unclenched and relaxed at his side.

I couldn't believe what he said, it was all true? I completely forgot about his parents so for me to say that he had no idea how I felt was kind of harsh…. Maybe I was self-obsessed... and maybe it was all my fault that sunny got her heart eaten. Conner though.

"I..." Conner mumbled.

"And you know it's true, so stop behaving like a stupid immature brat and grow up!"

Conner managed to raise his eyes so they looked into Zazie's.

His expression had softened now and wasn't as angry as before. His eyes had regained that beautiful sparkle that Conner cherished and for an odd reason he could feel himself beginning to well up inside.

Everything he had just said really hit home and made him realize that acting like this wasn't going to make Sunny any better, in fact it would just make himself feel worse.

As Conner continued to stare into his eyes he found himself beginning to edge closer to him, their faces drawing nearer with every second.

As the breath hitched in Conner's throat he gently pressed his lips against Zazie's, as all these emotions and feelings about Sunny were starting to just fizzle away like dying sparks of a fire.

Suddenly without warning Conner was fiercely snatched away from those enticing lips and rammed harshly against a nearby wall. Hands gripping onto the collar of his shirt making him flinched in shock and terror.

Zazie did not look pleased with what Conner had just done and was keeping Conner's back firmly pressed up against the wall. A burst of pain shot through Conner like a bullet making him winced.

Why did he do that? Was it the whole argument?

Conner looked into Zazie's eyes and saw a mixture of two emotions, hatred and also lust. The deathly hold Zazie had over him right now was almost enough to lift him off the ground.

"Not like that," Zazie mumbled quietly, still glaring at Conner.

Conner swallowed hard, wondering if Zazie was just going to beat him up here and leave him to rot. The tenseness in Zazie's hands seemed to relax a little as time lingered on but even so, Conner kept wondering why Zazie was doing this.

A/N: So what did you guys think? R&R and all that.