Waiting for Dawn
Summary: An unexpected visitor from the future forces Conrart to reconsider his feelings and his position in Yuuri's life. Conrart/Yuuri
At night, the corridors of Blood Pledge Castle were so quiet that even small sounds could be heard echoing down the corridors. While Conrart preferred the usual hustle and bustle of the castle during day time, he could also appreciate the silence that fell after nightfall because it made it much easier to detect possible intruders. That particular night there was nothing in the air to suggest anything out of the ordinary, as Conrart made his usual nightly rounds of the castle.
Arriving in front of the Maou's bedroom, Conrart nodded to the two guards standing on both sides of the door and gently, soundlessly eased the door open. A quick look around the room showed nothing amiss; the Maou, his fiancé and their daughter were all in peaceful slumber. Wolfram, as usual, took up half the bed with his haphazardly thrown limbs while Yuuri had been pushed to the very edge and was in danger of falling off. Conrart allowed himself a fond smile and, walking silently across the room, he gently lifted Yuuri and settled him farther away from the edge. Yuuri let out a small satisfied sigh and stretched out his arm towards Conrart, as though reaching out for him.
Conrart lingered for a moment longer, briefly entertaining the thought of taking Yuuri's hand and holding it until morning. But he knew perfectly well it was nothing more than a wistful thought he sometimes allowed himself when no one else was observing. He had known from the very beginning that it wasn't his place to claim that small hand as his own.
He had long ago sworn to protect Yuuri with everything he had, without asking for anything in return. Yuuri belonged to Shin Makoku and its people, and when the day came that he chose to love one person more than anyone else, Conrart would be there to support his choice, regardless of his own breaking heart.
As long as there was a place for him beside Yuuri, he required nothing more. He knew that as Yuuri's name-giver, baseball partner, protector and confidant, he already had his own special place in Yuuri's heart. And if he, in his weaker moments, sometimes wished he could conquer even more of Yuuri's heart, his practiced self-control assured that none of that ever showed on his face. The last thing he wanted was to lose Yuuri over some selfish wishes, which, if known to Yuuri, could have meant Yuuri never looked at him in the same way again. Reaching out for Yuuri's hand because of his own wishes would have been crossing that boundary.
After one last look at His Majesty's peaceful face, Conrart silently slipped out of the room. He made sure both guards were still alert despite the late hour, and continued his rounds.
A half an hour later, when he had finished his patrol and double-checked that the guards were still standing in front of Yuuri's door, he decided to make a detour to his favorite balcony in the Eastern tower, as was sometimes his habit when he wanted to think. The balcony opened upon a magnificent view of the whole town and to Conrart's knowledge few people ever came up there. He had never told anyone of his fondness for the place, though he imagined he would someday show it to Yuuri.
For how could he not share his special place with his special person?
He climbed the stairs and opened the heavy wooden door, expecting to see only an empty balcony and a starry sky. He was, therefore, surprised to find the balcony already occupied.
In the light of the moon and the torches burning on the wall, he could make out the silhouette of a dark-haired man slightly shorter than he. The man had his back to the door so Conrart could not make out a face, but something was telling him with certainty that he knew this man.
He paused in the doorway, hesitant to intrude on someone else's moment of privacy. He was about to leave, when the man turned around and spoke.
"Conrad, I've been waiting for you."
Conrart's hand froze on the door handle.
He knew that voice. Though it was slightly deeper than he was used to, there was no mistaking it. After all, how could he not recognize the voice of the person dearest to him?
Shutting the door behind him, Conrart stepped on the balcony and closed the distance between himself and the man who could only have been Yuuri. But as he neared, it became clear that this was not the Yuuri he had seen sleeping only moments earlier. No, the Yuuri in front of him looked several years older, and had Conrart not felt in his gut that this really was the boy he knew, he would have drawn his sword and accused the man of impersonating the Maou. Instead, he couldn't help holding out his hand and touching Yuuri's face in wonderment.
"Yuuri," he breathed, and the Maou's mouth curved into a warm smile.
"As expected of the man who named me. You still recognize me even though I'm quite a bit older than the Yuuri you know," Yuuri said and just continued smiling as Conrart took his time taking in the sight of him.
Though this Yuuri had the face and physique of an adult, Conrart was relieved to see his eyes still possessed the same optimism and kindness that had endeared him to both Mazoku and humans alike.
"Yuuri," Conrart repeated, still shaken by this unexpected meeting. "How is this possible? I just saw you a moment ago, sleeping with Wolfram and Greta."
"The Demon Mirror," Yuuri answered, and Conrart recalled a day many months ago which he had spent standing at Yuuri's bedside, watching over Yuuri's unseeing, immobile body and waiting for him to return from the Demon Mirror. He also remembered the tale Yuuri had told afterwards in a shaky voice, of a Shin Makoku of twenty years past, of seeing the Ruttenberg troops, of meeting Julia. Conrart had made sure the Mirror was placed under lock and key after that.
"I see," he said, only now noticing that his hand still lingered on Yuuri's cheek. He quickly retracted it. "I didn't expect that you would ever want to go through that particular experience again."
Yuuri avoided his gaze and leaned back against the balcony railing. "Let's just say there were… circumstances that brought me here. I shouldn't say too much anyway, I wouldn't want to risk changing history. And trust me, I've read enough manga to know that could get really messy. You know, time paradoxes, parallel universes and things like that."
Conrart couldn't help smiling at Yuuri's familiar babble. It was comforting to know some things never changed. "Then can I at least ask how old you are now?"
"I suppose there's no harm in that. I'm turning twenty-six this year," Yuuri answered, and Conrart was glad to know with certainty that no matter what would happen in the next ten years, Yuuri would still be alive at the end of it.
"I take it things are going well in your time, if you are still able to smile like that," Conrart noted. "Although I never once doubted your ability to create the peaceful world you've always dreamed of."
A faint blush rose on Yuuri's cheeks, but the smile stayed. "Not telling. You'll just have to wait and see for yourself."
"Then I'll look forward to it."
They were quiet for a moment, content to just smile at each other. After a while, Conrart stepped closer so that he too was leaning against the stone railing next to Yuuri. He let his gaze sweep over the town below, the streets only faintly illuminated by burning torches.
"The view is better during the day," he commented. "Right now, you can only see the stars from up here. It's especially beautiful…"
"At dawn, I know," Yuuri finished, getting a surprised look from Conrart in return. "You've brought me here before. Quite a few times actually," he explained.
"I see. I really shouldn't be surprised. It has always been my intention to show this place to you some day," Conrart said. "Perhaps I was just waiting for the right occasion."
"It certainly was a memorable occasion." The sly smile on Yuuri's face was a clear indication that there was some secret he wasn't sharing. "It's been our special place ever since."
Conrart suddenly remembered the first words out of Yuuri's mouth when Conrart had arrived on the balcony. That he had been waiting for him. Which meant that whatever had brought this older Maou to the past in the first place had something to do with Conrart.
"Yuuri," he began in a serious tone, "The reason you're here… Have you come to warn me of something that's about to happen? Something that needs to be prevented?" His mind was already rapidly going through different worst case scenarios.
But Yuuri just shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that. Didn't I just say that changing history would be a terrible idea?"
Conrart relaxed slightly, but the need to know why Yuuri had chosen to come refused to go away. "Then what is it? You probably can't stay for long, so you should tell me what it is while you still have time. Maybe it's best I go wake up Gwendal and the others, if it's something important. Your younger self-"
"No one else needs to know I was ever here, especially not my younger self," Yuuri interrupted before Conrart could finish his sentence. "You're the only one I wanted to talk to."
Yuuri reached out and gently captured Conrart's hand in both of his. The gesture took Conrart by surprise. It was hardly his first time holding Yuuri's hand, since he was used to pulling Yuuri out of ponds and fountains and, too often for Conrart's comfort, out of dangerous situations. But there was something different in this touch. It implied a level of intimacy that Conrart had until now done his best to refrain from, for both Wolfram's sake and to maintain the boundaries that kept his own desires in check. For Yuuri to reach for his hand so easily had to mean that something between them had chanced over the years.
Something metallic brushed against his hand just then, and when Conrart looked more closely at their joined hands he noticed, for the first time, a golden ring on the fourth finger of Yuuri's left hand. He knew enough about Earth's customs to realize its significance. And with realization came a pain in his heart he had always known would one day come, but which still threatened to overwhelm him with its strength. Was this the reason for their increased intimacy? Did Yuuri now consider him even more as a big brother because they had become brothers in the eyes of the law?
Suddenly feeling a lump in his throat, Conrart forced his face into a smile and said, in as warm a tone as he possibly could, "I see congratulations are in order. Have you finally exchanged marriage vows with my younger brother?"
He'd been preparing himself for this moment ever since Yuuri's accidental proposal to Wolfram all those months ago. He was determined to smile and be genuinely happy for the both of them, as was his duty as both a brother and a friend. He just hadn't realized how painful smiling could be when that was the last thing he felt like doing. And he thought he'd have a few more years before the inevitable heartbreak happened…
"My partner's name is engraved on the inside of the ring," Yuuri said suddenly, breaking Conrart's train of thought.
There was something decidedly vague about the answer. If Yuuri were, in fact, married to Wolfram, why hadn't he just said so? Unless something had happened in the ten years Conrart knew nothing about and Yuuri's affections had found another recipient. Conrart couldn't stop his mind from shifting through all the people around Yuuri and trying to pinpoint who could possibly have ensnared Yuuri from Wolfram's grasp. He knew Yuuri was close with Caloria's ruler, Flurin Gilbit, but could that particular bond have grown to that extent? Then there was also Sho Shimaron's King, Saralegui, who had some months ago finally become a true friend to Yuuri and who seemed very fond of him. But Yuuri's partner was unlikely to be either of them, as both of them had their own countries to rule. Could it then be someone in the castle? Someone they saw every day in the corridors? Or maybe…
So caught up had he been in his own thoughts, that he only now realized that Yuuri had been watching him intently, observing his reaction. Quickly masking his inner turmoil beneath a forced smile, Conrart tried to pull his hand away, but Yuuri's grip had tightened and he wouldn't let go. Yuuri's face had taken on a look of determination, which usually meant he would not back down until he got his way. And Conrart wasn't good at refusing anything from Yuuri.
"Your Majesty…" he began in an attempt to draw back behind his boundaries, but Yuuri would not be deterred.
"I have a name. The one you gave me."
"Yuuri," Conrart sighed in resignation.
"That's better."
"You didn't answer my question about Wolfram."
"I was hoping you would draw your own conclusions from my answer," Yuuri replied. His gaze stayed on Conrart's face like he was searching for something there. "If I… If I told you it's not Wolfram, what would you say?"
"Only that I hope whoever you've chosen deserves you," Conrart answered, confused by Yuuri's evasive words and odd behavior. A small voice at the back of his head was whispering to him that there was a simple explanation for Yuuri's words and for his seeking out Conrart of all people. Conrart squashed the thought as soon as it had occurred to him. It just wasn't possible. Even if by some miracle Yuuri felt something for him in return, there were plenty of other reasons why nothing could ever come out of it.
Yuuri sighed, apparently disappointed by his answer. "The other you warned me that you'd be stubborn, but I still wish you could be a bit more honest. Conrad, I know what you feel for me."
Conrart blanched, but tried to cover it with a look of confusion. "I have no idea what you are referring to."
"You don't need to pretend with me, I'm not as oblivious as I was at sixteen, you know. Besides, a lot can happen in ten years." Yuuri gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Please, Conrad, I want to hear you say it."
For a moment Conrart stood still, torn between denial and hope. Had this Yuuri been the sixteen-year-old boy Conrart knew, it would have been all too easy to hide behind his usual smile and to claim ignorance, but this older Yuuri had clearly already seen through him. There was nowhere left to hide. And maybe he didn't even need to anymore, not when Yuuri didn't seem uncomfortable with the knowledge of his feelings. Finally resigning himself to the situation, he let out a heavy sigh and gave Yuuri an apologetic smile.
"Though it was never my intention to tell you this, I have loved you for a long time," he admitted. "I just didn't want to burden you with my feelings when you already had so much on your plate."
"Don't you think it should be up to me to decide whether I consider it to be a burden or not?" Yuuri asked in a slightly annoyed voice, though his eyes had softened after hearing Conrart's confession.
"Forgive me, Yuuri. Part of the reason I stayed silent was because of my own selfishness. I was too afraid to lose my place in your life if my feelings made you uncomfortable to be around me."
To Conrart's surprise, Yuuri let out an amused chuckle. "Sorry, it's just funny you should fear that when my younger self is already rather uncomfortable in your company." Conrart's face contorted in worry and he opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when Yuuri held up a hand to silence him. "It's because your pretense had me completely fooled. Right now my younger self is convinced the only way you'll ever love him is in a brotherly way, and because of that he's desperately trying to hide the huge crush he has on you. And let me tell you, trying not to blush every time you got a bit too close to me wasn't exactly easy."
It took a minute for Yuuri's words to sink in, and when they did, Conrart could only stare at Yuuri in shocked silence. Yuuri had a crush on him? His heart was beating furiously as he tried to think back to his recent interactions with the younger Yuuri. Had Yuuri been behaving differently? He secretly prided himself on being able to read Yuuri better than anyone else, so how could he have missed something like this?
"That's… It's not possible," were the first words out of Conrart's mouth. "You're wrong. I would've noticed if…"
"Would you really?" Yuuri asked, serious again. "You are so determined to believe nothing could ever happen between us that you automatically turn a blind eye to any sign that I might love you back. And I assure you, I do love you back. I did when I was sixteen and I still do."
"Yuuri…" Conrart breathed, feeling the lump return to his throat. This had to be a dream, he thought. The whole situation was just too surreal to be true.
He must've unconsciously voiced his thoughts, because Yuuri chuckled and said, "You're not dreaming. I really am Yuuri from ten years into the future and I really did just tell you that I love you. I can say it again if you want."
Please do, suggested Conrart's traitorous mind, but he stopped himself from saying it aloud. "I think I've got it, thank you," he said instead, managing to regain some of his usual composure. "You can't blame me for being surprised, this is all rather unexpected."
"But not unwelcome, I believe," Yuuri prodded, holding Conrart's gaze.
"If you are trying to suggest that I should pursue a relationship with you, I hope you realize it's not that simple."
"When is love ever simple? Just because there are bound to be some bumps in the road doesn't mean you're better off giving up without trying," Yuuri shot back, and Conrart had a feeling nothing he said could make Yuuri change his mind. He tried anyway.
"Then what about Wolfram? He loves you, and yet you intend to break his heart?"
For the first time, a look of guilt crossed Yuuri's face and he averted his eyes. Conrart felt a stab of guilt himself for having caused Yuuri pain, but he had to make Yuuri see how much was at stake. Even if he in truth yearned to reach out and grab onto the chance Yuuri was offering him, the rational part of him chained him down. Yuuri was the Maou of Shin Makoku while Conrart was only his half-human bodyguard. Even though the Mazoku had become more tolerant of his kind since Yuuri's ascension to the throne, there were still those who would deem him unworthy of being the Maou's partner. In comparison, Wolfram came from a noble lineage, and would be much more suitable for Yuuri. Though he had been aware of it all along, Conrart still felt his heart sinking at the thought. There were, of course, other objections to his being with Yuuri, like the fact that Yuuri was still very young, but in the end it was Wolfram's love for Yuuri that had made Conrart lock away his own feelings. For as much as he loved Yuuri, he also loved his younger brother. And he would not stand in the way of Wolfram's happiness.
"I knew he had feelings for me," Yuuri admitted, his voice heavy with regret. "And because I didn't want to hurt him, I tried to see if I would start liking him back. But in the end, I could only see him as a close friend. Thinking about it afterwards, I regret not calling off our engagement from the start. I guess back then I just didn't take the engagement seriously at all, and I didn't realize I was practically stringing Wolfram along. At one point I was feeling so guilty about the whole thing I almost decided to go through with the engagement for Wolfram's sake." Turning his eyes towards Conrart once again, Yuuri hesitated for a second before asking, "Did you think I was in love with him?"
Taken back by the question, Conrart couldn't immediately answer. He knew very well that thanks to his kind personality and warm heart, Yuuri tended to openly bequeath his love to everyone he met. There was no question that Yuuri cared for Wolfram deeply, but in truth he was just as concerned about everyone else close to him. The only thing special about Yuuri's relationship with Wolfram was the fact that they were officially engaged. An engagement which they had entered accidentally. But as days had turned into months without Yuuri making any real effort to call off the engagement, Conrart had begun to believe that Yuuri had accepted the idea of someday marrying Wolfram.
"I thought…" he began, attempting to get his swirling thoughts under control. "I guess I thought… that you had to feel something for him if you were willing to continue being engaged to him."
Yuuri's shoulders slumped. "I was afraid you'd say that. But I guess I can only blame myself for that." He smiled ruefully. "I never meant to hurt Wolfram, but it was my indecision that probably ended up hurting him the most. All I did was give him false hope by not releasing him from me. In the end, it wasn't until I realized I was in love with you that the reality of my being already engaged to someone else really hit me."
Not for the first time during the last half an hour, Conrart had to marvel at the confidence and ease with which this Yuuri was able to speak of his emotions. The younger Yuuri Conrart knew would most likely have blushed and stuttered in embarrassment over such sentiments. In any other situation Conrart would have felt proud of the way Yuuri had grown to be confident in his own skin, but now it was that very same confidence that was rapidly eating at Conrart's own determination to keep his distance. It was as if Yuuri was deliberately tearing down all the walls Conrart had carefully built around his heart, and soon he would have no choice but to let himself be swept away by the tide.
He wondered what it would feel like to finally succumb.
Yet his guilt over hurting Wolfram still stopped him.
"It has never been my intention to come between you two. And I still believe Wolfram would make a more suitable partner for you than someone like me."
"Exactly what do you think counts as suitable? Someone that has a 'von' in their name and no human blood in their veins? You of all people should know that I've never cared about things like that. And don't even try to say you're unsuitable because of our age difference, when the same thing could be said about me and Wolfram." The unyielding look in Yuuri's eyes told Conrart that arguing was useless. "In my book, the only thing required from a suitable partner would be that they loved me and that I returned those feelings. Don't you think that makes you a much more suitable partner for me than Wolfram?"
Conrart stared at Yuuri, dumbfounded. It really shouldn't have come as any surprise that Yuuri was able to dismiss most people's common sense like it was nothing, but Conrart still couldn't quite find the right words to answer with.
And really, what were you supposed to say when something you had never even allowed yourself to hope for was offered to you on a silver platter?
Noticing Conrart's speechless state, Yuuri wordlessly slipped off the golden ring on his ring finger and handed it to Conrart, who took it after a moment's hesitation. He moved closer to one of the burning torches, and held the ring up against the light, his heart hammering in his chest.
There, inscribed in delicate lettering right next to Yuuri's name, was his own.
In the end, it was this little piece of tangible proof that finally allowed Conrart to shake off the last of his doubts. He drew in a shaky breath and cradled the ring in his hands like it was the most precious thing in the world, feeling like the hope and love swelling in his heart were suddenly almost too much to bear.
He turned around to face Yuuri once again, and some of his newly acknowledged feelings must have showed in his expression, for a relieved smile spread across Yuuri's face. Yuuri raised his left hand in a silent invitation, and walking up to the younger man, Conrart carefully slid the ring back to where it belonged. Another burst of happiness almost overwhelmed him at the thought that he would be able to do this in a more official capacity one day.
"We can make it work," Yuuri promised, resting his right hand on top of the hands that still held his left one in their gentle grasp. "Trust me."
It was as if Yuuri's hands in his were spreading their warmth into both his body and soul, and Conrart could no longer remember why he had denied this from himself. Raising one of Yuuri's hands to his lips, he poured his true feelings into the brief touch. Yuuri's answering smile was brighter than the stars above them.
After a moment of just basking in Yuuri's presence, Conrart remembered that there was still more to discuss. "But Yuuri, I still don't understand why you had to travel back in time for this. Won't telling me this risk changing your past?"
"It's the opposite actually; my coming here was necessary to make sure everything happens as it's supposed to," Yuuri answered with such conviction that Conrart could only believe him. "The reason I came here was because the you from my time asked me to. He remembers meeting me here, and according to him, you would likely never have pursued me if I hadn't encouraged you to do so."
Conrart quickly processed this new information, trying not to dwell too much on the complexity of time travel. "Then what do you want me to do from now on?"
"Well, now that I've gotten you to admit your feelings, it's your turn to convince my younger self," Yuuri answered. "Because just like you had your reasons for not to saying anything, so did I when I was sixteen. There was the whole Wolfram thing, for one, and the fact that Greta sees both of us as her fathers. It always reflects badly on the child if the parents divorce, after all, so I was worried how Greta would take it if I was no longer engaged to Wolfram."
"I understand your concern, but I don't think it would affect Greta's relationship with the two you of as much as you think. We all live in the castle so she would still be able to see both of you all the time and Wolfram could still be Greta's second father. Most likely the biggest change would be the sleeping arrangements," Conrart reasoned, wanting to calm Yuuri's fears.
Yuuri chuckled. "I know. Remember, these are things I was worried about ten years ago, and for me they have long since been resolved. You should save your sympathy for my younger self. He's the one that needs it."
"Right, of course."
"Besides, I have a feeling everything would have turned out much worse if I had actually ended up marrying Wolfram. Sooner or later he would've realized I could never love him like he wanted me to, and then it would've been downhill from there. It's up to you to make sure I don't end up making all of us miserable."
"I shall do my utmost to convince you," Conrart promised with a sincere smile.
"Good," Yuuri said with a smile of his own. "There's a couple of other things my 16-year-old self is worried about, mostly how you see me. Even though I've never had any problems with our age difference, I used to be worried that you would only ever see me as a child. I also couldn't help wondering if you just wanted to see Julia in me." Seeing Conrart about to protest, Yuuri quickly continued. "I know it's not like that, so you don't have to explain. We've talked about this before. It just seemed like a big reason to worry when I was just sixteen and crushing on a much older guy."
Conrart gave Yuuri's hands a gentle squeeze and said solemnly, "You have always been Yuuri to me, and it is Yuuri who holds my heart. Please don't ever doubt that."
Whatever his reasons had been, Julia had never been one of them. She was now nothing more than a fond memory. And while there had been a time when Conrart had been charmed by her grace and kindness, it was Yuuri who had become the sun in his life.
His words seemed to have touched Yuuri, who leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on Conrart's cheek.
"Thank you," Yuuri whispered in his ear, and Conrart found his breath caught in his throat.
He wondered if he could be forgiven for kissing Yuuri right then. While the young man in front of him wasn't the same vivacious boy Conrart had fallen in love with, he was still Yuuri in all the ways that counted. Conrart hesitated and was just about to lift a tentative hand to Yuuri's cheek, when Yuuri took the decision out of his hands.
"This is all you'll get from me for now, I'm afraid," Yuuri said, sounding more mischievous than apologetic. "I'd prefer it if you saved our first kiss for my younger self. As I remember it was rather… memorable."
Conrart raised an eyebrow at that, feeling like Yuuri was trying to give him a hint. But he would have time to think about that later. For now he made a small show of sighing in disappointment and said, "Well, they do say that good things come to those who wait."
Yuuri laughed. "Just don't wait too long."
Conrart was just about to answer that he wouldn't, when he suddenly noticed that Yuuri's black hair and clothing seemed to melting into the darkness as his outline grew fainter. He reflexively tightened his hold on Yuuri's hands in an unconscious effort to keep him there for a moment longer. His alarmed expression also alerted Yuuri to the situation.
"Looks like it's time to go back now," Yuuri smiled a little sadly. "But don't worry; we'll see each other again in about ten years. It's up to you what we will be to each other when we do."
Conrart continued to hold Yuuri's hands until the only thing left between his palms was air. He knew dawn was only a few hours away and that he should get some rest, but he doubted he would get any sleep even if he tried. Instead, he stayed on the balcony until the first rays of sunlight banished the darkness.
He had a lot of thinking to do.
Yuuri awoke to the feeling of someone gently stroking his hair. Recognizing the familiar gesture, he leaned into the touch and let out a content sigh.
"I'm glad to see you took my advice," he said, eyes still closed. The other man, noticing he was awake, stilled his hand for a moment before resuming the stroking.
"I'm glad you convinced me," said Conrart's voice, and when Yuuri opened his eyes, he found himself lying on their bed with Conrart propped up against the headboard next to him. Yuuri, who had become an expert at reading Conrart's expressions over the years, could see that he was clearly relieved to see Yuuri back in his own body.
"How long was I gone?" Yuuri asked.
"About three hours. Günter came looking for you earlier, so I told him you had a minor cold and needed to rest for a day," Conrart answered, looking slightly guilty about lying to Günter.
"That's good. I didn't want to make him or anyone else worry for no reason."
"Well, you know how Günter is. Even the thought of you having a mild cold was enough to worry him. I barely managed to persuade him not to send for Gisela."
Yuuri couldn't help chuckling at the mental image. "Still, better a cold than the truth in this case."
Conrart's frown deepened and he reached down, taking Yuuri's hand into his. "I'm sorry I had to ask you to do this. I realize it couldn't have been easy to have to use the mirror again."
"Didn't I tell you there's no need to apologize? I would gladly do it again if that's what it takes to have you here with me right now," Yuuri chided, moving himself closer so that he was able to lay his head on Conrart's thigh. He closed his eyes again and concentrated on just enjoying the feeling of having Conrart right next to him. He was so used to the closeness they had come to share over the years that it had been almost painful to see how the younger Conrart had tried to maintain a distance between them. It nearly broke Yuuri's heart to think that Conrart had been prepared to hide away his true feelings for the rest of his life, just because he believed Yuuri would be happier that way.
Deciding not to wallow on the past any longer, Yuuri tried to relax. He wasn't exactly tired after his trip through time, but since Conrart had already arranged for them to have the rest of the day off, Yuuri had no intention of passing up the opportunity to spend some quality time alone with Conrart. Shin Makoku would survive for a day without its Maou.
A thought then occurred to Yuuri, and he cracked open one eye, giving Conrart a quizzical look. "I still don't understand why it took you a year and a half after that conversation to finally confront me. Didn't I already assure you that the feeling was mutual?"
It was Conrart's turn to chuckle. "You make it sound like I should have simply jumped you the next day."
"I wouldn't have minded," Yuuri muttered under his breath, and Conrart gave his hand a fond squeeze.
"Perhaps not, but I didn't want to hurt Wolfram by pursuing an affair with you while you two were still engaged."
"As I remember, it still took you a year after I broke the engagement before you said anything," Yuuri pouted. "What's your excuse for that?"
Conrart had a faraway look in his eyes as he answered, "Back then, you were still very young, both in mind and body. I wanted to wait until you matured more… Until you could be sure of your feelings and until you knew what you were getting into, if you chose me." He sighed. "I just didn't want you to jump into something you weren't ready for. I didn't want you to end up regretting anything."
"You really are too honorable for your own good," Yuuri grumbled, though he could see the logic behind Conrart's words. There was no guarantee everything would have gone over well, if they had entered this relationship when Yuuri was still sixteen and insecure on so many levels.
Conrart's mouth curved into a teasing smile and he leaned down to place a lingering kiss on the corner of Yuuri's mouth. "Of course, I also very much enjoyed the part where I got to slowly woo you," he whispered into Yuuri's ear, causing the younger man's cheeks to flush.
Trying to ignore the fact that he was blushing like the teenager he no longer was, Yuuri reached up to grab hold of Conrart's collar. "If that was your idea of a welcome back kiss, you'll have to try again."
"My apologies, Your Majesty."
And when Conrart leaned down to properly cover Yuuri's lips with his own, Yuuri knew without out a doubt it had all been worth it.
It was six months after that conversation on the balcony that rumors about the Maou breaking off his engagement to Wolfram von Bielefeld started to spread among the residents of Blood Pledge Castle. The two of them had left the castle together one morning with the intention of returning after a three-day tour of the country, but had returned in a matter of hours, Yuuri's sleeves slightly burnt and Wolfram's hair and coat dripping with water. They had immediately headed for Gwendal's office, and after an hour of Wolfram shouting, Yuuri trying to reason with him and Gwendal developing a permanent headache, the two younger Mazoku exited the office, going their separate ways.
Most of the castle's inhabitants weren't quite sure what to make of the separation. Though it was common knowledge that the Maou had entered the engagement only because of his unfamiliarity with Shin Makoku's customs, as the engagement had continued to go on, most people had started to think that the Maou had developed feelings for his fiancé. Some, like the Maou's adopted daughter, had even been looking forward to their marriage. But now the engagement had suddenly been called off, leaving everyone wondering what had been the cause.
Everyone seemed to have their own theory, and quite a few people put down money in the not-so-secret betting pool. The most popular theory, of course, was that one of the two young men had either been involved in a secret love affair or had a new love interest in their sights. So, for the next few weeks the castle's inhabitants kept surreptitious watch on both the Maou and his ex-fiancé, waiting to see what would happen next.
But life just went on as usual.
As was to be expected, Wolfram was initially very hurt and angry, but in the end Yuuri's persistent efforts to reconcile their friendship paid off. It eventually turned out they got along much better without the engagement complicating things. Princess Greta still thought of both of them as her fathers, and after a while she got used to the fact that instead of all three of them sleeping together, she got to choose whose bed to climb in. And while she was at it, she took the opportunity to add both her uncle Gwendal and Anissina to the rotation. In a few years she would be old enough to insist on having her own room, but for now she was happy with the new arrangement.
Those were the biggest changes that took place. If the onlookers were expecting to see the immediate beginning of a new romance, they were very much disappointed. The Maou still went about his days as usual, doing paperwork with Gwendal and Günter, playing catch with Conrart and spending time with Greta and Wolfram. And as usual, Yuuri continued to shower his kindness on everyone he met because it was just in his nature to do so. All in all, there was nothing to suggest the King had left his fiancé for anyone in particular.
Someone a little more perceptive may have pointed out that Yuuri was spending more time alone with Conrart now that Wolfram no longer saw the need to follow them everywhere, but since that was only natural, no one thought too much of it.
That is, no one aside from Conrart himself.
To him, it was a very important step forward.
After that conversation on the balcony, he had taken his time to fully come to terms with his own feelings and to think over the situation. Technically, he now had Yuuri's permission to court him and the assurance that his feelings were returned, but that didn't mean he could rush into things. He needed to do this right for all their sakes.
His first course of action had been to get Yuuri to seriously think about his relationship with Wolfram. He also quickly found out that no one, himself included, had ever bothered to explain to Yuuri that he had the right to call off the engagement if he so chose. This new knowledge had been a relief to Yuuri, since he had been half-convinced only Wolfram had the power to end the engagement, considering that Yuuri had technically been the one to propose. During one of their many heart-to-heart talks on the subject, Yuuri had admitted to Conrart that he only saw Wolfram as a friend and nothing more. Conrart of course already knew this from his talk with the older Yuuri, but to the younger one it was a big admission. Even so, Yuuri had decided to wait a bit longer before making his decision, because he believed he owed it to Wolfram to seriously consider whether he could ever fall in love with him.
In the end, Yuuri had given it another half a year before deciding it wasn't fair to keep Wolfram waiting any longer. During this time, Conrart had refrained from advancing his own agenda out of respect for his brother and had, for the time being, settled for being Yuuri's closest confidant. Knowing what he did, it was easy to be patient.
And then the engagement was over, and Yuuri was back to being a free agent. Still, Conrart continued to wait until Wolfram seemed to have come to terms with his new role as Yuuri's friend. Only then did Conrart finally begin the long and careful process of courting Yuuri. The particulars of this courtship are another story for another day, but Conrart did in time succeed in winning Yuuri over.
And as for that memorable first kiss, well…
It was shortly before dawn on Yuuri's eighteenth birthday when Conrart gently shook Yuuri awake, taking care not to disturb the little girl sleeping next to him. Then, taking the King by the hand, Conrart led him up the stairs of the Eastern tower to his favorite balcony. It was still semi-dark when they arrived, but the sun's first rays were already visible in the horizon.
A delighted grin spread across Yuuri's face as he took in the sight and he ran to lean over the railing to get a better view of the town below. Conrart followed at a slower pace, more interested in watching Yuuri's antics than the sunrise. He took his place next to Yuuri by the railing while listening to Yuuri's excited chatter with a fond smile on his face. They stood side by side with their shoulders touching, and after a moment Yuuri tentatively laid his hand on top of Conrart's. Conrart's only response was to lace their fingers together.
This kind of physical proximity was still new to them both. Their bond had greatly deepened over the last year thanks to Conrart's efforts, but he still hadn't told Yuuri of his feelings. As such, it had come as a surprise when they had seemingly naturally progressed to this new level of intimacy. One day, while they had been riding on the same horse, Yuuri had simply wrapped his arms fully around Conrart, pressing his chest against the older man's back, and Conrart had in turn covered Yuuri's hands with one of his own. No words had been exchanged, but the gesture had given Conrart enough confirmation of Yuuri's feelings that he had decided it was finally time to put his feelings into words.
And now here they were, in the most romantic setting Conrart could think of, and he suddenly found himself lost for words. He'd had it all planned out in his head, but with Yuuri's hand warm in his and a mesmerizing smile turned towards him, all the words suddenly died in his throat. What if it was still too soon after all? What if Yuuri wasn't ready for this? Yuuri was looking at him expectantly now, and Conrart knew he had to do something…
Yuuri interrupted his inner monologue by letting out an impatient sigh and leveling him with a glare that showed exactly what he thought of Conrart's hesitation.
"Just kiss me already," the Maou ordered, and Conrart was struck by the realization that Yuuri had already seen through to his heart, and that nothing more needed to be said.
He couldn't help bursting into a relieved laugh, though he quickly sobered up when he saw that Yuuri was still looking at him, waiting. And really now, how could any man in love resist such an invitation from their beloved?
So, wrapping one arm around Yuuri's waist and tilting his face up with his other hand, Conrart proceeded to give Yuuri a kiss so intense it left them both dazed. After all, he needed to make sure it became the one kiss Yuuri remembered even a decade later.