The Musings of a Lonely Man
Today, he was not his usual self, not the self-assured and controlled man he showed the world every day.
It was a long time since he had last felt like this. Miserable, confused and so in love.
The last time had been the day he'd realised he fancied the woman his best friend was also in love with.
He'd been so scared he would screw everything up. It had worked out in the end, though, until recently, over a decade later, when it had all fallen apart with just a few hurtful words from the woman he'd once loved.
So why couldn't he get one particular scene out of his mind? He really had enough other things on his hands, apart from this. But every time the Forest of Dean was mentioned he remembered the moment when he'd seen the fire dying in this man's eyes at he realised the enormity of his friend's betrayal of him.
He wanted to whip this moment out of time, wanted to make it all better, to hold him, heal him. But this was not the way life worked. You couldn't make someone whole again with just a light touch. He wanted to try it anyway. But this was crazy. He could not fall in love with a man. He was straight. There were a handful of woman out there to testify to that.
But everytime he met this man and looked in his now dull blue eyes he knew he was lost. He wished he could do something to make the hurt go away and to banish the loneliness they both felt.
He could hardly believe he was falling for a middle aged scruffy professor named Nick Cutter. But there was no denying the signs. He was in it, head over heals and destinated to make a fool out of himself.
And newly divorced James Lester did not like this thought one little bit.