A/N: I do not own Death Note.
00000
Chapter 1 Into the Wild
Dammit, Rem. It was supposed to be L. Light groaned as he retrieved Rem's notebook from the dust pile and stashed it in the waistband of his pants. Light hurried as he heard the approach of some of the survivors. He currently had no way to obtain their names and no other Shinigami out there willing to die for him. There was no time to remove the damned chain—Light hoisted the limp detective over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes (for all the candy he shoved in his mouth the detective weighed surprisingly little) and made his escape.
In the end it came down to a choice: stay there and be discovered by the surviving gangsters that Rem didn't get around to killing-certain death-or make a break for it and expect a longer, more lingering death out in the Siberian wilderness. Never one to make it easy, Light chose the latter. After all where there was life there was hope, right?
00000
"Shit!" Light cursed as he lugged an unconscious Ryuuzaki up the icy peak. At least it looked like he lost their pursuers. But for the sake of haste he had sacrificed his footing on the icy slope and now he was forced to make a split-second decision: drop the supplies he managed to grab as he fled the gangster's hideout or drop Ryuuzaki (and since they were still chained together that meant they would both die) though for some reason during that split second that last little tidbit didn't even come to mind. He clung to his archenemy and watched hopelessly as the bag fall away into oblivion.
00000
After trudging with his load for an hour in the absolute cold Light finally felt exhaustion catching up with him. He just needed a moment to catch his breath. Just then by luck or chance or some chosen destiny he came upon a rocky alcove that was perfect for this. From his resting space he could observe the landscape and anyone who might be coming after them but Light and his raven-haired companion couldn't be seen in it as it was concealed within the face of the mountain. There was no longer any sign of their pursuers but Light didn't want to take his chances.
But now that he had the opportunity to rest his body, and no longer had to worry about immediate torture and death, Light was seething. How dare these thugs interrupt things between him and L! He had never anticipated that he and Ryuuzaki might get abducted by one of L's old enemies in the middle of the night and deposited in the middle of the Siberian wilderness. From the look of it L hadn't either.
It wasn't fair. Just when he was about to call checkmate on L an outsider had to come along and overturn the board. Now it all lay in ruins. And once they got back, if they got back the thirteen day trap was still in effect but without Rem there was no way...
No, that wasn't true. Light had L's real name now. Unable to finish writing it, Rem had croaked it out as she crumbled to dust. "L L-A-W-L-I-E-T."
00000
L Lawliet sagged against him where Light had placed him next to him against the rocky wall of the cave. He was still out of it. Perhaps he should be worried...
Dammit he's L. Why should I care? He stands in the way of true justice, not to mention he wants me dead! Light glared at L for a moment, just watching the rise and fall of his chest. But then again, it would be suspicious if I didn't pretend to care. Pretending to care is safer...
So Light fussed over L never mind there was no audience to play to out here. He wasn't really worried, nope not at all...
The gangsters had tortured them both for days but it was L that bore the brunt of their wrath. This whole thing seemed very personal and while Light's knowledge of Russian was limited it sounded to him like this Boss Keehl seemed to be under the mistaken impression that Ryuuzaki stole his son.
Light didn't know how much stock he wanted to put in some criminal's words. After all, while L's methods were sometimes underhanded L was for the most part an honorable opponent, a worthy challenge for Kira. Light sincerely doubted his enemy, THE L who claimed to be justice, went around abducting small children. Light meant to ask L about it once he woke up. Sure, L was a liar, but Light would believe L over some criminal any day. (Light had worked with L for three months unaware of his own purposes and as he had planned there was now a level of trust between them. Light hadn't really considered that it might go both ways.) L wasn't like the trash Kira took out on a regular basis. L was different. L was... worthy.
And L was warm. Light hugged the unconscious man into his chest like a giant teddy bear and huddled against him.
At first Light had cursed that Rem hadn't finished writing L's name before crumbling to dust but as he watched his enemy's (rare) unconscious form Light decided it would have been cheap. L was Kira's enemy but he deserved better than that.
Light shivered against the cold. He was only wearing what he managed to grab from the gangster's hideout—just a simple coat over his pajama top and a pair of leather pants. But with this cold he might as well have not been wearing anything at all. It felt like the wind cut to the bone. He had thrown a coat on L as well before making a run for it. It would be inconvenient, not to mention incriminating if he let L freeze to death. Light just sat there a moment studying the cuts and scrapes, the bruised eyelids of...
The invincible L.
Light traced his fingers through his hair. He looked so human.
How did a common criminal like Keehl manage to find you and break into your headquarters? Is there a leak on the taskforce? Maybe Aiber or Wedy? Matsuda might be stupid enough to blab. Mogi... possibly. He gives me the creeps. You never know WHAT he's thinking. It's not dad of course, or Watari... The old man seemed like a father-figure to Ryuuzaki. Light doubted he would so betray him.
But then again...
A dark memory returned unbidden of his own father putting the gun against his head. Though it was a ruse at the time, Light had no doubt there would be a replay if his father or the others discovered his secrets. No doubt if there was a next time they would use real bullets. Light worked hard to banish the image.
To Light's eternal embarrassment he had... frozen when the gangster did the same about (was it only an hour ago?) Light didn't want to think about it. He never really liked guns but an outright phobia would prove detrimental if he wanted to join the police force one day. Then it happened all at once. Boss Keehl was shouting at L threatening to kill his "little boyfriend" (Light scoffed, as if!) right in front of him Ryuuzaki had unexpectedly broken lose and lunged at their captors. He took four of them down before being knocked out in the ensuing struggle. Light hadn't expected that. Nor what Rem did. The Shinigami, who was bound to follow him since he had reclaimed ownership had up till then stayed out of sight. But when the gangsters threatened his life... Light hadn't expected the Shinigami to act like that either, sacrificing herself for seemingly his sake alone. Well she must have also come to the conclusion that Misa couldn't live without him as he had hoped she would but... Light unconsciously held L tighter. This didn't go as planned.
He had L's name. He had the notebook. If he wanted to he could kill L Lawliet right now. Light removed a pen from his pocket and gave it a twirl between his slender fingers. Of course he couldn't kill him now. It would be impractical given the current circumstances what with these thrice damned handcuffs to consider—it's not like he wanted to lug a corpse around. But still just the idea... it was fun to image. That name gave him the power over his opponent he was lacking from the very beginning. Light was giddy with the elation of victory. No, L was no longer an equal, a nameless force. L was just another human with a name and Light as God of this New World could bring his wrath against his enemy whenever he chose. He leaned in even closer against his sleeping foe to whisper that name aloud, his victory, into unhearing ears.
L Lawliet. Lawliet. That's French so it would be pronounced... Light experimentally said the name aloud in scarcely a whisper.
"Low Light."
Unknown to Light a look of horror steadily spread across his face.
L Low-light. Yagami Light. Eru Roraito. Yagami Raito. What kind of sick joke is this? His name sounds like...
Sure it was spelled quite differently, it was even a different language, but the idea had still taken hold—killing L... it would be like killing himself. Obliviously, Lawliet snuggled against him looking so harmless, so helpless in sleep...
Looks can be deceiving...
Still Light cast his pen aside as if it were a bitter poison.
00000
Light forced himself back to his feet. He had rested long enough... and if he fell asleep here as his body was severely tempted to do, they were dead. There was still a chance of getting caught by the surviving thugs. Though that wasn't his main concern now—that would be the fact that they were stuck in the middle of the wilderness with no supplies. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Actually a frying pan AND a fire sounded pretty good right now as Light hugged the unconscious detective closer to him, shuddering hard. His stomach made an embarrassingly loud noise. During their stay among Keehl's cartel the gangsters hadn't been too concerned about feeding them. Light couldn't remember the last time he ate. Reality began to set in. If he didn't find them food and get a fire started they'd be dead in hours...
If he could get a fire started it wouldn't be a problem. He had fuel for it—the Death Note never runs out of pages. Unfortunately there was nothing like wood or flint conveniently lying around. Light pulled his notebook out and glared at it. Maybe if he glared at angrily enough it would catch fire on its own accord.
Nope he hadn't developed the ability to shoot laser beams in the last five minutes. Damn. No fire. No food. Just barren snow and ice as far as the eye could see. There were no prospects here.
So cold...
This wasn't just a little chilly. This was like dark side of the moon cold. This was no joke. This was "oh shit, I'm going to die" cold. And it would be even colder outside this little crawlspace. But he had to keep moving.
Dammit, Ryuuzaki, wake up already!
He was wasting so much energy lugging him around... Light tried to lift Ryuuzaki again with trembling hands. The room spun and suddenly he was falling on his ass. Light glared at the unconscious detective who was sprawled on top of him. That was his fault somehow. Light felt a pang of fear as the world became dark around the edges.
No.
He struggled up again. He couldn't give in so easily! He couldn't die out here he was... God. Well, he was going to be God. He hadn't quite figured out how to be invincible yet, he was still working on that part though he was sure he could if he just gave it enough time. Light began a bout of insane giggling which soon turned into a coughing fit. Even when Shinigami followed him around, never had death felt so immediate. He couldn't die! He had so much work left to do! Without him the world would continue to rot. Only he could do it. He didn't trust anyone else with this responsibility. Just look at Misa and Higuchi, killing for such selfish reasons! Killing innocents! (Of course every name he wrote was completely justified; he would never kill without good reason...) But what happened to the world if he died right now? What would it all be FOR if he didn't succeed? Dying was the same as losing. If he won Kira was justice but if he lost...
He had to win.
But seeing as L was already unconscious that meant he was in the lead... He was winning. L already wore the pallor of the dead...
No! If I don't get to lie down and die then neither do you. WAKE. UP!
Light shook him but Ryuuzaki remained unresponsive. Ryuuzaki's skin was cold to the touch, colder than his. Light didn't think that was possible. He began to panic in earnest.
What am I going to do?
Light didn't think he had the strength to move them again. There was no hope of rescue. Would this be the fate of Kira and L to die out here alone and forgotten in the snow? Would anyone even care? No one would even mourn their passing...
Light had a sudden yearning to call his mother and sister. He hadn't seen or heard from them in months.
Yeah but if I had my cell phone I wouldn't exactly be in this mess now would I? Light clenched his fist. Pathetic. He scolded himself for his moment of weakness. People would miss him if he... (I'm not going to die. Not yet. I can't...) Unlike L...
Light always knew someone who lived so anonymously would die just as anonymously. Had his plan with Rem worked L would no doubt be placed in an unmarked grave and in time only Light would pay respects to the greatest hero that he had ever known...
Wait. WHAT? Light massaged his forehead with ice-numbed fingers. Obviously the cold must be beginning to affect his brain. His stomach made another noise indicating it was eating itself.
So hungry... I've come this far, I have to make it SOMEHOW. All he had was the Notebook and Ryuuzaki... God no, he would not resort to cannibalism. That left... The notebook never runs out of pages.
Swallowing a scrap when he had regained his memories had shown no adverse effects. But was he really desperate enough to...? Light tried and failed to lift Ryuuzaki again. He had to work hard just to remain standing and watched his panting breaths freeze before his eyes. His stomach again made a sound that was more appropriate being emitted by an apple-deprived Shinigami then from him and Light decided that yes, yes he was that desperate. He ripped out a page, first getting it wet and mushy with the snow. He hesitated for a moment, holding the killing paper apprehensively.
No, the notebook was his to use as he saw fit.
Light shoved down any remaining trepidation and common sense and forced it into his mouth and began to chew it. He expected it to taste nasty, the texture was nasty enough, but instead it was almost overly sweet and... was it his imagination or was there just a vague hint of apples? Maybe this was like drinking radiator fluid. In retrospect this was probably a bad idea... well, too late now... he'd see it through to the end. Light ignored lingering doubts and forced the paper paste down his throat.
After a few moments his stomach roared with hunger again, almost as if to say "Well is that it?" but Light refrained from doing that again until he saw how it would affect him.
Having deluded himself into thinking he had eaten, Light managed to find some reserve of strength to pick up Ryuuzaki, and keep going through the snow. The Death paper was sweet enough. Maybe Ryuuzaki would like some too... He'd have to find some plausible lie about what it was though; or come up with some non-incriminating explanation...
Why isn't Ryuuzaki waking up?
About twenty minutes later Light had to stop again as he became violently ill. He nearly didn't put L down in time before he was wracked with pain, he fell to his hands and knees. It felt like his insides were trying to crawl outside as he coughed up his ill-thought out lunch and there was the paper mush again. Really, he tried to eat THAT? What the hell was wrong with him? I'm starving that's what was wrong.
The sweat from his sickness froze in his hair, his very bones ached and his hands and knees became numb as they pressed into the snow. Light tried and failed to get up again and settled for pulling himself along on his hands and knees through the snow to where Ryuuzaki lay, blue and unmoving.
NO!
"Ryuuzaki. Hey! Come on Ryuuzaki!"
Did he somehow die on him unnoticed while he was lugging him around?
No you can't be dead! "Dammit Ryuuzaki! After all this you can't die this easily!"
Light slapped him. No response.
"C'mon!" Light shook him in earnest. "Wake up, dammit!" If Ryuuzaki died here he would be cheated out of his victory.
That had to be it. L couldn't die now! L was his! That must have been what this odd feeling was that Light got in his chest was when Ryuuzaki remained cold and unresponsive, Light didn't like this feeling as it seemed inclined to turn him into a gibbering mess.
"Ryuuzaki!" Light held Ryuuzaki to him and something that looked suspiciously like tears fell and froze in the detective's hair as Light howled madly at the other, trying anything, ANYTHING to get a reaction, to get him to wake up...
"L Lawliet!" In his delirium between spewed insults, shouting, hitting, and pleading like a, well, deranged lunatic that L wake up Light whispered secrets to L's unhearing ears.
"L, before you challenged me... no even after... I-I've always admired you. You were my hero growing up." It was unnecessarily dangerous, it was stupid but...
"I'm sorry Light Yagami the Genius isn't home right now. If you would like to leave a message he'll get back to killing you as soon as possible..." Perhaps it stemmed from the same compulsion he had to gloat over downed enemies.
"I am Kira."
Still nothing.
"L, I don't really have a problem with the way you sit or the way you eat. I actually think it's kind of cute. When we get back there's this one bakery. I always thought you'd enjoy it... So you see you can't die now..."
"Why did we never get around to another tennis match?"
Light closed his eyes and snuggled into L's raven mane.
"You know, I lied, I do like sweets but it's girly and I don't want to get fat."
"You know when you put on the handcuffs I was kind of hoping Misa was right..."
"I think I love you—"
That was when L seemed to decide to take in a sudden coughing, wheezing breath and his eyes fluttered open.