Title: First Apartment.
Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super Heroes or any of the characters used in this fic. I'm just using them for my own devices for the moment.
Summary: "Is it wrong that I hope there's something wrong with this place just so I don't have to say I live on Junkanoo Avenue?"
A TW/PG one-shot that is the result of watching Sex and the City three episodes in a row.
Small boxes littered the hall in a neat little row in front of Phantom Girl's room. All of them reeked of slightly rotted cardboard and dust and her own unique scent, most were taped up firmly, but some of them were still open—the ones nearest her door—and gave anyone passing by a look at some of the girl's personal belongings. Timber Wolf was one of those passersby and he, despite having been on his way to the kitchen, stopped in his tracks at the sight. Something was going on.
His sturdy frame padded into the doorway and his shoulder rested upon it as he crossed his legs and arms and his keen eyes took in the…strange sight.
In the middle of the room, dwarfed a little by the queen sized bed standing precariously up from its usual position, Phantom Girl was on her hands and knees, surrounded by data-pads all lit up to reveal what Timber Wolf could only assume were addresses and looking a bit like a human cruiser wreck.
Something was definitely going on.
"Um," his husky voice finally echoed into the room, grabbing her attention and apparently taking it away from focusing on sitting upright as one arm gave out and sent her face first to the floor, "Is there something going on that I should know about?"
Scrabbling back up to her knees and off of her stomach, the ebony haired girl gave a nervous little laugh before replying, "Oh! Brin, hi! I didn't see you there, I was just in the middle of, well…moving."
"…Why? Did Cosmic Boy do something stupid or something?"
"No. For once, this sort of thing is not his fault…entirely" she replied as she moved all the way onto her legs, stumbled and then went to lean on the other side of her door so that they could have a proper conversation where her neck didn't snap while looking up at his supremely taller form.
"So what's going on, exactly?"
She twiddled her fingers and spoke with a grumble that was not tailored to suit her character, but fit the situation regardless, "My mother was right, that's what. I've sort of found out that the ratio of girls to boys living here at the Legion dorms leads to walking in on awkward situations when I have to do everyone's laundry. I mean, I love you guys and I will still be very close to headquarters in an apartment that I will pay for myself, it's just…" she waved her hand in a little semi-circle in front of her. It looked like a fan with the speed given to it and Brin raised his eyebrow at her. The scent of awkwardness wafted off of her like mist and he couldn't help but note that she looked way more fidgety than usual.
"It's just…?" Brin coaxed, his own hand, almost three times bigger than hers, miming her display.
She took a deep breath and let it out, shoulders sagging miserably, "I don't want to walk in on another naked person again."
A completely and utterly involuntary snort left Timber Wolf before he could stop it and he slapped his hand across his mouth when her shoulders went from sagging to extremely defensive and she looked directly at him, brows creased. Now he would have to weather the storm.
"This is not funny," she growled, poking him in the chest indignantly, "It's not! The first week I got here and was put on laundry duty, I walked in on Cosmic Boy getting out of the shower with nothing on. He made sure I didn't have the shift again for a while, but this time, years later, the consequences have gone up! I've had the shift for three weeks after Brainy found out I haven't had it since I got here and every time I go into a room I think is deserted I walk in on someone doing stuff!"
He couldn't help himself. He had to know what this "stuff" entailed, "What stuff?"
Here she spun on her heal, took three steps forward, turned left and then turned back his way and groaned, listing off reasons on her fingers, the other hand placed on her hip, "Let's see; Brainy doing maintenance on himself, Colossal Boy lifting weights in his tiny, tiny little briefs, Shrinking Violet eating ice cream in the nude and having zero shame when I walked in, Ultra Boy…I'm just not getting into that…Cham practicing kissing on a mirror—which was actually kind of sweet in a real pathetic, school boy sort of way—Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl making out and taking each others' clothes off and," she took a deep breath and actually looked like she wanted to just sort of disappear, "Bouncy and Triplicate Girl actually doing it, full on and all sweaty. That time I ran screaming out of the room and slammed my head into a door for five minutes."
Timber Wolf scratched his neck and tried to ward off the images in his head that came from that lovely description. Tinya scrunched her eyes together and, out of a habit that had formed after seeing all this, crossed her arms and knackered her foot on the floor twice. It was humiliating to move out because of this, but it was either this, or staying with her mother, and she did not want that. No thank you.
Finally, Timber Wolf cleared his throat and gave her a half-hearted smile, "Have you found the right apartment, yet?"
"Uh, no. Actually, I was going out in a while to check some out and choose one."
"Mind if I come?"
Phantom Girl stared at him for a moment, mouth just a little open, like she was trying to form words, no matter how short, monosyllabic or stupid they may be when they left her voice box, until it closed again and a large, dopey smile lit up her face. She squeaked something unintelligible and tackle-hugged his massive form, knocking him back a step, but not down to the floor.
"Of course I don't mind! Thank you so much! I don't think I could have gone out in civvies and haggled with multiple landlords and superintendents and concierges who I just know will figure out that I'm doing this for the first time and screw me over. Thank you!"
"Phantom Girl?"
"Hm?"
"What did you mean earlier, when you said you were paying for this yourself?"
Tinya, (cape left back at the Legion for the purpose of looking over the apartments without looking conspicuous and also wearing jeans,) looked absently over her shoulder at Brin (still wearing his usual costume top, but opting to wear simple black pants so he wouldn't freak other people out while in public) and then went back to walking the ten-billionth staircase they were forced to climb at their first stop because the stupid elevator was broken and Brainy asked them not to use their flight rings unless they were confronted with a super villain.
"Well, on my tenth birthday, mom gave me a hundred creds and I used them to invest in stocks. Now I have just enough in the bank to at least pay for my own rent, food and basic necessities. I love my mother, but I don't want her money."
"Okay," Brin acknowledged as he took another breath and continued up with her, step by step by step, "I can understand that. Uh, what did you invest in?"
"Oh, you know. Stuff that people actually need. Water, grave sites and coffee."
"This is the floor," he laughed victoriously, clinging to the banister along with Tinya for a second, both relishing in the very realistic feeling of success at surviving the climb.
After both of them regained an upward position, they took in the floor. It was very…blue. Blue walls, dark blue carpets and high ceiling. At the end of the hall was a lonely oak door with a 'For Rent' hologram projector magnetized to the knocker.
Both walked to the door and stopped on the welcome mat that was frilly and a little roughed up from age, with the actual word 'Welcome' more or less scuffed out and only spelling 'We-c—me'. Tinya took a little breath, Brin smiling a little at the sight of her puffing up to look confident and radiant and rather a lot like her mother about to tackle an issue of foreign affairs, and the black haired beauty knocked on the wood. The sound echoed twice, followed swiftly by the clippety-clop sounds of healed feet and, to Brin, the vaguely menacing sounds of skittering, clawed feet.
The door opened and they were met with the smiling landlady. She was very similar to the Dancing Frog cartoon character Bouncy had made his friends watch, only wearing a red dress and black stilettos. It kind of freaked the two teens out.
"Hellooo," the landlady greeted, voice rather southern in style and drawn out to a low decibel, "You must be the young lady who called earlier, hi. I'm the landlady and I'll be showing you around here. Come in, come in."
Tinya and Brin followed the woman's lead, both trying to shrug off the feeling of creepiness that settled over them from her voice. Tinya looked at the décor, mostly oriented to heavy orange and deep, rosy red that was a staggering difference from outside, and Brin tried to ignore the occasional sounds of pitter-patter around the corner.
"Now, this here is a one bed, one bath apartment," the landlady started, walking quickly from room to room and pointing things out as she went, "The kitchen is fully installed with a fridge, freezer, garbage disposal, trash incinerator and dishwasher. The bathroom has two sinks for the mister, or missus, a shower with three pressure nozzle head. The living area comes fully furnished with two couches, a coffee table and vid-screen. And as you can see, we have a stunning view of the park."
"This is all wonderful," Tinya sighed, involuntarily leaning into Brin's back, a dreamy look on her face. This caused Brin to blush, but her didn't move, absently placing a hand on her shoulder in encouragement.
"Yes it is," the Dancing Frog look-alike smiled, crossing her arms, "There's just two little catches."
"What?"
"The elevator has been broken for two years and we may just take it out to plant a cypress tree I've had my eye on and we seem to have an infestation and you'll have get rid of them on your own."
Tinya, on the word infestation, stiffened fantastically under Brin's hand and her eyes dilated drastically. Brin himself tilted his head back and readied himself to carry the princess out of the room if she started freaking out. She could deal with super villains, slime, time-travelling, blood and numerous other things, but, it seems, all women, even the super powered ones, hate little things that skitter around beyond their vision.
She didn't freak out just yet, though, vying for stuttering out, "I-i-infestation? O-o-f wh-what?"
"Well, it seems the previous tenant bred albino mice and two escaped to dominate the building with their extended family, the blue sewer rats. They're actually very interesting to look at night. Some of their eyes glow red and two out of three glow in the dark."
And, as fate would have it, following that explanation, a rather high pitched squeak rang out and Phantom Girl scrambled onto Timber Wolf's shoulders like a spider up a very understanding oak tree.
"Well, thank you for showing us around," Brin said pleasantly, allowing Tinya to settle with her arms wrapped around his head and her legs curled around his torso, her eyes wide and her body twitching with the effort not to scream bloody murder, "We've got a few other places to see, but we'll call you."
Slowly and calmly, they both left the apartment. Timber Wolf, after shutting the door, held Phantom Girl's ankles and ran down the stairs. Once in a while just jumping the whole flight of stairs earned Brin the pleasure of hearing Tinya laughing at the rush of wind through her hair at the motion. She clung to him all the way out the door to the building, but when he put her back down on the ground, she gave him a sweet smile.
"Okay, this one's out of the picture, but there are still three left. Let's get going, the next one is over-looking the river."
"Huh, this is…a little different than what they described in the flyer, but the price seems right, at least."
Brin didn't say anything as his head hit the arch in the middle of the room, Tinya checking out the kitchen that was in direct contact with the bedroom and shower/bathtub area. Timber Wolf himself was still standing in the living area, trying not to hit the light fixture and absently he looked out one of the three port-hole style windows.
He was met with a glamorous view of a fishing vessel, water from the river rushing up and hitting the glass of the window again and distorting everything again.
"The ceiling seems a little low, but, hey, it's not like I'm the tallest person in the Legion."
Outside, one of the other vessels rang a very irritating bell three times and one of the windows shook in its place.
"And yeah, the paint is peeling, but I was going to paint everything a new color anyway."
The bell rang again and the window flew open, directly followed by a wave kicking up, some water splashing in and getting her pants wet around the ankles, a little bit of algae clinging to her boots like a set of little green hitch-hikers.
Brin smiled knowingly and took her hand, leading her out the door, just in time to avoid the other windows bursting open. When he shut the door, he patted her shoulder affectionately and allowed her to go first into the elevator.
Tinya sighed and pressed the down button a few times, the last time more like a punch, "Okay, fine. I won't live here."
"Thank you."
The ceiling was leaking, the toilet was clogged, the furnace was running on one-hundred degrees every ten minutes, the kitchen sink spurted up dirty water from its pipes and Timber Wolf still couldn't get over the fact that the walls were lined with stuffed animal heads.
Brin had taken his shirt off and had it wrapped around his waist. His figure stood in the frame of the door and he watched the sleazy, dry as an African plains landlord explain just why Tinya should rent this particular apartment that resided in the basement of a building that used to be used by a taxidermist agency-Okay, now that he thought about it, maybe he could get why there were animal heads on the walls.
Tinya, for her part, indulged the man and continued to sweat as he talked like an auctioneer. She was tempted to do the same as Brin, but unfortunately, she had chosen this day to not wear a bra and would be at risk for public indecency. Her hair stuck to her forehead and neck and some of her perspiration slid down her neck and lower back, but her always flattering smile remained in place.
"…and I know that you may think this is a money pit, but don't be fooled. The heat, for its own part, will swiftly be taken care of, the toilet was only just vandalized because the doors haven't received new locks and because the ex-tenant was mad at me for various reasons and will also be taken care of promptly, and the ceiling is only like this because the neighbor upstairs is in a band and has a lot of guests who like using the bath. He'll be moving soon, so we shouldn't have that problem anymore."
"That's nice… How much did you say the rent was, again?" Tinya asked, taking a second to roll up her sleeves as the second wind came to the furnace. Two shots of one-hundred degrees in five minutes, it was starting to feel like a really expensive sauna at a spa. Not good for people like Brin or Tinya who sweat enough in their line of work as it was. They could dehydrate rapidly if the thing shot up again for another round.
"Well, for most people, it would be six-hundred a month, but for you…mmm, five-o-five. And I'll throw in a Christmas ham every month."
Tinya gave the man a look that was bordering on contemplation. Behind her, Brin spoke before she said something stupid—like say "Yes, I'll move in as soon as possible."
"Five-hundred and fifty creds a month to live in the doorway to Hell."
Brin's voice of reason woke Tinya up from the delusional thought that she could actually make the place look decent and give the landlord a little head tilt. She took one huge step back towards Timber Wolf and said plainly, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a very nice person, but no. I think me and my friend will keep looking around. Thank you for your time."
"Hey, it's fine," the man said, taking his own step forward into Tinya's personal space, "If you were a tenant, I couldn't ask you out for a drink. What do'ya say?"
Through the basic instinct to protect his teammate from danger and nothing else, Timber Wolf picked Phantom Girl up bridal style, stepped out onto the stoop of the apartment building and slammed the door in the man's face.
Phantom Girl had never been so grateful.
"I'm so sorry I brought you with me," Tinya moaned, walking up the hill of Crop Over Street. She was still sweaty and gross and was only now starting to notice the sweat stains along her chest area, the green marks on her pants from the river-side apartment and the overwhelming sense of being so pathetic in front of her friend, who himself still had his shirt off and yet followed after her, occasionally drawing the attentions of other young women and earning wolf whistles. This served to only make him blush under his fur and tried to walk side by side with Tinya.
"I thought this would go over smoothly, but no, it's my first apartment, this has to be hard.
"Don't be like that," Brin sighed, resting an arm over her shoulder, not noticing the blush forming along her face when she noticed, seemingly for the first time, that he still had his shirt off and displayed some very pleasing attributes along the stomach and arms and shoulders, "You can only afford so much and really, it's New Metropolis. You can't expect much in your price range, but can hope for the best."
"Yeah," she sighed, looking at the sign at the end of the street, seeing if it said the last address they would visit today, "Hope for the best. This is the last stop today though, and if it's not the right one, I'll just stay in the Legion dorms and wear a blindfold when I need to get the laundry."
"That's the spirit," he chuckled, rubbing her shoulder encouragingly.
Both gave the other a small smile and Tinya spotted the signpost. It read Crop Over Street and Junkanoo Avenue. The apartment building was a red brick three story, each story having black gating along the stairwell so people could either look out at the view of the harbor across the hill along with other buildings and billboards and even a sliver of a look at Legion headquarters, or use the area to smoke.
"Third floor," Tinya muttered as they took to the stairs for the sixth—no wait—seventh time that day. It would be the eighth time when they probably came rushing out from whatever horrible thing awaited them.
"Is it wrong that I hope there's something wrong with this place just so I don't have to say I live on Junkanoo Avenue?"
"Not really. But, why don't we just see what it looks like before we decide do mock the people who named the street—avenue—lane—whatever?"
They finally stopped when they reached apartment T24. It looked like the door to every other abode in the place. The only real difference was the floating robotic head in front of it that looked eerily similar to the one Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad described rescuing from a malfunctioning Brainy some years ago. Wide open eyes and permanent smile included.
"Hello, welcome to the New Metropolis Apartments. This apartment is one bed, one bath, kitchen, living room. It includes a refrigerator, an island counter for dining and food preparations and on the first room of the apartment complex is a laundry room. Would you like to have a look inside before deciding to rent, or would you like to pass?"
"Might as well take a look, at least he asked nicely," Phantom Girl muttered to Brin, giving the robot head a nod.
The door opened and Tinya and Brin were met with the sight of a modest apartment with simple wooden floors, decent lighting, one window that showed the courtyard out back and clean beige walls and ceiling. It gave out a pleasant aura and Tinya couldn't help but step inside and just take it all in.
Brin took his place within the frame of the door—again—and this time it felt comfortable. It didn't smell like rodents, like river water or like the last one that smelled strangely like a decomposing corpse was hidden somewhere in the ceiling. It smelled, in its own way, like it fit her. Like back at headquarters where she burned her incense of Melon and Peace of Mind when she thought Brainy or Cosmic Boy had left the building and wouldn't yell at her about how the smell would cling to the other Legionnaires' clothing. And really, this environment fit her perfectly.
The werewolf looking young man turned to the floating head and asked quietly, so as not to disturb this much more pleasant mood she was in, "How much is the rent?"
"It's a hundred credit deposit and the rent is four-hundred and thirty credits a month. However, if willing to paint the walls the landlord requests, the price can be negotiated down to just four-hundred a month."
Tinya turned from the window with a shocked look on her visage and Brin gave her the most reassuring, handsome smile she had ever seen on his face. It made her feel a little warm in her stomach as he spoke up before she could herself.
"If you don't rent this place, I'm going to rent this place, kidnap you and hold you as my hostage."
"If you would like some time to think about it, I could leave for a moment—"
"No!" Tinya practically screamed, grabbing the head and then hugging it like it was…well, like it was Brin after he was hunted as a fugitive, "I will so rent this apartment, like, now! Today. I will sign over my soul in blood to get this apartment!"
"That won't be needed," the head spoke, seemingly embarrassed by the contact, "I will just require the deposit, your full name and you can move in today."
Swiftly and precisely, Tinya pulled one of her cred cards from her pocket and held it out for him to scan. His mouth retracted and a red light emblazoned the card, retrieving the credits needed and quickly the mouth shut again. This was followed by a recording device appearing out of the head's side where an ear would be had it not been completely round. The President's daughter spoke her entire name clearly and concisely into the piece.
Once all that was complete, the head spun around three times and the word 'Congratulations' lit up along its teeth, "Thank you and welcome to the building. Have a nice day."
As the two Legionnaires were left alone, a moment of completeness washed over Tinya and Brin was met with her smiling broadly and then jumping into his arms. He could smell the happiness just brimming out of her and hugged her back, happy that she was happy.
"I've got my own apartment! I've got my own apartment! OMG, thank you for coming with me, I could not have done this without you," she beamed, leaning up for a moment and planting a kiss on his cheek.
Another blush spread out along his cheeks and he absently rubbed where she had kissed him, "I didn't do anything. I just followed you around."
"Exactly! You made sure I wasn't suckered in to living at those other places or, even worse, asked out by that one landlord. So happy about that by the way."
He agreed, nodding and trying not to growl at the image and memory.
She continued to hug him for a moment, him lightly hugging her back for fear of smothering her in his fur. Eventually, her own sense came back and she disengaged, taking a step back but still keeping her arms linked to his. She couldn't stop smiling and didn't even as she called Brainy on her comm. link.
"Brainy, I found my apartment. Can you transport my belongings to me and Timber Wolf's location? ...Yes, I know it breaks from procedure…Yes, I'm sorry it annoys you…Please, Brainy, if I actually go back, I'll have to carry them all and annoy everyone because, heh, you remember when I was moving in, right…Thank you, you're a peach. I'll see you tomorrow, because I'm spending the night in my new apartment!"
As the last words passed through her lips, all of her belongings, including her bed that just earlier was standing on its side, were teleported into her knew living room very neatly, the Coluan congratulating her just before he cut the line.
She slipped the link into her pocket and then turned back to Timber Wolf, hair finally dry from the sweat of earlier swishing over her shoulders. She seemed a little worn out from everything, but she still asked, hopefully and with a kind of sweetness Brin had gotten accustomed to after spending so much time with her, yet never ever got tired of, "So, I was going to spend the night in. Want to stay for a little while? I'm ordering pizza for a thank you."
Brin teased her with a softly contemplative look for a second. On the one hand he hadn't told anyone he was going out tonight and they might worry, but on the other hand there was a little part of him that enjoyed seeing his best friend so happy and reminded him that Tinya had technically told Brainy he was with her… It seemed the choice was made for him.
"Will we being having the five meat?"
"You know it."
He leaned down and gave her a tiny peck on the forehead, leading her out of her apartment, shutting the door and down the stairs.
"Let's not waste your money with delivery. Besides, it tastes better fresh, anyway."
"I don't think that matters so much as the walk back," she giggled, opting to walk right next to him back down Junkanoo Avenue.