A/N: I've been reading some excellent first time fics lately, and have been wanting to write one of my own. The rest of the fics I have written have been loosely chronological, but this one has no relation to the others. This is a standalone work, so you can read it free of the other Wincest I've scribed. This one also has a specific time frame. It's set immediately after 8X23 "Sacrifice", so I would watch that before reading this. If you have, well come on in!
. . .
You want to know what my greatest sin was? It was how many times I'd let you down.
Those words had torn a hole in Dean Winchester's heart. His Sam, his little brother, the catalyst of the trials that would shut the gates of Hell forever, had convinced himself that he wasn't worth living because he had let Dean down. As he carried Sam out of that church, angels falling from heaven, Castiel God knows where, his only concern was protecting Sam. Sam was strong, stronger than anyone Dean had ever met and now, as he helped him to the Impala, he could feel Sam trembling underneath him, his body wracked with pain, guilt, and every other bad emotion that he had fought so long and hard to keep under control.
Crowley could fend for himself. Sam's injections had been working, and since he was tied up in a devil's trap, Dean really didn't care what happened to the son of a bitch. He helped Sam into the car, an angel landing not ten feet away from them, dead, wings spread wide across the cold, wet ground.
Dean buckled Sam in, got into the car, and sped away, not caring in the least what the hell was happening in Heaven right now. Hold on baby boy, we're going home. He knew he should give a damn, should try to find Cas, should try to get some fucking answers, but his only concern was Sammy's well being. He looked over at him, Sam's head was buried his hands, his body shaking. Dean reached out and rubbed Sam's back, trying to ease some of what Sam was feeling right now. He felt Sam's muscles relax a tiny fraction at his touch, so Dean kept rubbing. As he drove, he noticed angels falling everywhere, burning bright streaks in the sky. People were staring up at the heavens, trying to piece together what was happening. Dean drove around them, through them, dodging cars that had pulled over to the side of the road, leaving it to them to figure it out. He had priorities that he placed above the general population at the moment.
He kept his hand on Sam's back all the way back to the Bat Cave. He pulled up to their sanctuary, tires squealing as he stopped. He jumped out, ran over to Sam's door, and helped him out. He put an arm under his shoulder, doing his best to carry as much of Sam's weight as possible. Hold on tight Sammy, he thought. I've got you now. I'm never going to let you go.
Walking through the door, he saw Kevin sitting at the table, a look of incredible weariness and concern on his face. He looked up at Dean and Sam enter the room and immediately went over to them.
"Help me carry him to my room." Kevin nodded in understanding, and helped get Sam up the stairs. Since Dean's room was closer, they helped him to the bed there. Dean silently thanked Kevin, who backed out the door and went back to his work of translating, trying his best to make more sense of what was happening outside.
Sam sat on the edge of the bed Dean right next to him, his hand on Sam's arm. Sam was fighting back tears that were threatening to escape. Dean put his arm around his broad shoulders and rested his head on Sam, and whispered into his ear "Just let it all out baby boy. Let it out." The dam burst, and Sam started to sob. Dean held him tight, tears streaming down his own face because he knew Sam was hurting, and he wanted to take that hurt away from him, somehow, someway. Sam didn't cry out, but his whole body shook as all the frustrations of the last weeks worked their way to the surface, spilling out of his eyes and onto the floor, his hands on the sides of his head.
They stayed like that for a long time, until neither of them had anymore tears to shed. At that point Sam put his arms around Dean, resting his head on his shoulder, trying to still his racing heart. Dean pressed his lips to the top of Sam's head, kissing him gently. Eventually, he looked up at Dean and asked in a voice that seemed as though it was going to break at any moment "Thank you." His eyes were red and swollen, but they also reflected monumental exhaustion. Dean tried to smile, tried to bolster Sam's feelings, but the gesture became a look of intense concern instead.
"Do you want me to stay Sammy?" Sam looked as though he might start crying again and nodded. Dean eased him down to the bed, taking off Sam's boots and pulling down the covers. Sam got under them, feeling the tiredness seeping into his bones. "Gonna be right next to you when you wake up Sammy, just like always." Dean pulled off his jacket and shoes, and got in next to him, resting his head on Sam's shoulder, putting his arms around him, trying his best to shield him from every bad thing in the world. He began to sing softly, just like he did when they were little and Sam had been awakened by nightmares:
"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul."
Eventually, he heard Sam's breathing even out, and he looked up at his face. Sam was in a deep sleep, his exhaustion having finally won. Dean closed his eyes, listening to Sam's heartbeat. It soon lulled him into the blackness of rest, and he slept as well, forgetting just for awhile all that had happened.
. . .
Dean was the first to wake up the next day. At some point in the night, they had shifted and Sam was spooning him, his brother's warm breath blowing across his ear and neck. Now there's an interesting sensation, Dean thought. He wondered what it would feel like across... Dean stopped himself right there. Sam would come back to him in that way when he was ready. He also felt something wet running down the back of his neck – Sam had drooled on him. He made a small noise of disgust, and moved so that Sam's face lay on the pillow instead. His body was in need of relief, so he stood as quietly as possible and went to the bathroom. When he came back out, Sam was still sleeping peacefully, and he went out of the room, closing the door behind him gently.
He found Kevin asleep at the desk, the tablet still in front of him. He placed a hand on Kevin's back, shaking him awake. Kevin woke with a start and realized where he was.
"Dean?" He rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes and looked up at the hunter. "How's Sam?" Kevin's concern touched Dean's heart. His voice choked slightly as he said "Asleep Kevin. He's... I think he's gonna be okay." At least I hope so, Dean thought to himself. "I know this might not be a good time to ask, but have you gotten anything else from the tablet?"
Kevin shook his head, looking rather looking disappointed. "Sorry Dean. I uh... fell asleep right after I sat back down."
"It's alright. Look, if you want to go lay down for awhile, that's fine. Rest as much as you need. I don't think we're in any shape to be tackling this right now. We can figure all of this out later, alright?" Kevin rose from his chair and gave Dean a slight smile. "Thanks Dean, really. You go take care of Sam. He needs you right now." He went up the stairs and disappeared down the hallway to where the sleeping quarters were.
He went to the kitchen and flipped the lights on. He was hungry, more than he had been in awhile. Dean realized that he hadn't eaten in well over thirty six hours, and he knew Sam would be seeking food when he woke up. He made breakfast, waffles slathered in butter and syrup, scrambled eggs, even cut up a grapefruit for Sam. Now that he had something to do with his hands, his thoughts moved slightly away from Sam's suffering, and he began to think of healing him instead. How was he going to put his brother back together? He tried to think of a way, but nothing came to him. He felt completely helpless. Dean Winchester, hunter, former vessel for an archangel, chosen by God to stop the apocalypse, what demons feared when they slept at night, was completely at a loss for a solution. He stopped what he was doing, and shut his eyes, trying to focus. Sam was his soulmate, the best friend and lover he had ever had, and he couldn't figure out how to make it better, to stop the hurt that Sam was feeling right now.
He turned off the stove and surveyed his handiwork, putting plates on the tray he had found and piling them high with food. He carefully carried it up the stairs, and coming to his door, opened it. The bed was empty, the covers thrown back. He heard the shower running, the bathroom door slightly open. He set the tray of food down and went over to where steam was running into the room.
"Sammy, you okay?"
Sam's voice sounded a little more secure than it had the night before. "Yeah Dean I'm... I'm better." Dean let out a sigh of relief. "I made you breakfast Sammy. Even cut up a damn grapefruit for you." He heard the water shut off, and the sound of a towel traveling over wet flesh. An image flashed in his mind, Sam drying his hair, the rest of his body exposed. Dean's loins stirred at the picture. Not now Dean. When he's ready again.
"Sammy you want me to go grab some clothes for you?"
"It's alright Dean. I can get them myself, really." He moved away from the door and stood in the middle of the room. Sam came out, long red towel slung low on his hips, all bronze skin and slightly drippy wet hair. Dean couldn't help but stare a little. The light in the room seemed to make him glow like some sort of god. In spite of the fact that the last forty eight hours had been rough on both of them, Sam still looked strong and vibrant. The paleness that had beset him the night before was largely gone, and a good part of the healthy glow his skin normally had had returned.
"Dean?" Sam's voice snapped him back into reality. "You're looking at me like I'm going to disappear."
Dean met his gaze and smiled. "You look better Sammy. A lot better. I'm... I'm glad."
Sam crossed over to where his older brother stood and hugged him. "Thanks for staying Dean. I know I'm not exactly uh... fun to sleep with anymore. I know that it must have been difficult." Dean clung tight to Sam, his eyes screwed shut. Sam wasn't shaking anymore, not crying, not anything. He could still feel a lot of tension in his muscles, and suddenly he wanted to rub all of it away. Wanted to just touch Sam more. Wanted to touch all of him, wanted to show Sam how much he still loved and cared for him, Purgatory and the Trials and last year be damned.
"It wasn't." Dean said, barely audible.
Sam pulled back and held Dean at arm's length, smiling softly. "Now what was that you said about breakfast?" If Sam had heard what his older brother had just said, he gave no indication of having done so.
"Right here Sam." He went to the desk and picked up the tray of food. He offered it up with a small smile. "The plate on the right is yours. I know you didn't want butter and syrup on yours so I put fruit in it instead. I didn't know what you wanted so I just used-" His words were cut off as Sam's mouth was suddenly on his, almost causing him to drop the tray. Dean's thoughts dissolved as his mind processed what was happening. This was not at all what he was expecting.
Sam backed off of him and picked up his food. "Thanks for the grapefruit too Dean." He moved at sat down on the edge of the bed and tackled the food in front of him hungrily. He looked back at Dean who was still standing in the middle of the room, looking somewhere between shocked and confused.
"You better eat or your food's going to get cold." Dean looked at Sam, who was chewing and looking at him appreciatively. "Uh.. yeah... I'm just... I'm gonna sit at the desk." He didn't wait for a reply and sat down in the comfortable chair, putting his plate in front of him. Did Sam still want him like that?
They ate in silence, the only sound in the room being silverware scraping over ceramic plates. Sam finished, and went over to where Dean was sitting, his back facing him. He tapped Dean on the arm and offered to take his plate to the kitchen. Dean held it up without looking at Sam, lest he should betray the thoughts that were currently running wild through his mind.
He watched Sam leave the room, decidedly not trying to focus on Sam's ass moving underneath the towel he was still wearing. He breathed deeply, focusing his thoughts that were still trying to process the kiss that Sam had very much given him not an hour ago.
Sam came back in the room, shutting the door behind him, and laid a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Sammy I think..."
Sam finished his sentence for him "We need to talk? Yeah. We really do." Sam gestured towards the bed. Dean, well his body anyway, didn't know if that was such a good idea because he was afraid of what he might do to Sam when he got over to it. He decided that this would only get more awkward if he didn't and he sat down on the bed next to his younger brother.
"Sam... why... why did you kiss me? I thought that... I though you didn't want me like that anymore." It came out as a hoarse whisper. Dean was afraid to say it any louder.
Sam moved a little closer to him and put his hand on Dean's knee. "Because I've wanted you every day since you came back from Purgatory. I didn't know if it had changed you, didn't know if all of the crap I've pulled over the last year with Amelia, with hiding my illness – I know that's hard to look past." He scooted even closer to Dean, who was stock still as he listened to the words coming out of Sam's mouth. "And last night Dean, when you held me like that, how you took care of me... I knew that you still loved me." Sam was practically in Dean's lap by now, his mouth hanging open enticingly, eyes wide with desire. "And I love you too Dean. I've never, ever stopped. Not through Hell, not the Apocalypse, even when I was in the Cage." He looked at Dean expectantly, waiting to hear his answer.
"Sam... Sammy..." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, painfully aware of Sam's body and its proximity to him. "You're right. I still love you baby boy. Sammy I almost lost you yesterday. I can't even begin to describe how much it hurt, knowing that. What you said..." Dean ran his hands over his face, his eyes getting moist again. "That your greatest sin was letting me down Sammy... you have never, ever let me down. I've never been more proud of you. Ever. I wouldn't give the last eight years back for anything. Wanna know why Sammy? Because you have been there every step of the way with me." A tear ran down Dean's cheek. Sam's hand was right there to wipe it away. "Sammy I love you so goddamn much." He cupped Sam's face in his hands. "I would never push you away. Not for this." He leaned in and touched his forehead to Sam's. "You'll always be my Sammy, not matter what."
The next thing Dean knew was that he was on his back, Sam's arms around him, and Sam's warm mouth pressing against his own. Any inhibition that Dean might have been harboring against this happening again was suddenly gone as Sam's tongue was in his mouth, seeking to taste as much of Dean as possible. Behind it he could feel all of Sam's strength, warmth, and love. Sam's hands were trembling as they cupped Dean's face, and he could feel tears running down Sam's face.
"Sammy, oh my Sammy." He ran his fingers through Sam's hair, looking into his eyes. "Sam it's okay. Don't cry Sammy." He hugged Sam tight, and put his legs around him.
"Dean I was just so scared that... Dean I love you." He kissed Dean again, this time with a lot less force and a lot more sensitivity. It made Dean melt, and he relaxed into it. God Sam tasted so good. Even after everything he had been through, Sam tasted pure. It was like some vital energy coursed through his veins and passed into Dean, filling him with something that he could only describe as good. His hands pressed into Sam's back, feeling and taking in all of that wonderful muscle that he had longed to touch again. Now he could. Months of stolen glances and touches as he tended his brother's wounds were no more.
"Sam... my Sam... so... so wonderful." Sam was alternating between biting Dean's ear and blowing hot air across it, making Dean's nerves stand on end. Sam pulled him up so that Dean sat in his lap facing him, legs spread as he straddled his younger brother's strong thighs.
Sam stopped kissing him for a second and just looked him in the eyes, smiling.
Dean smiled back and said "What?"
"Missed holding you like this. Missed it so goddamn much Dean." He felt Sam's hands rubbing and kneading his back. Dean rubbed his hand down Sam's arm and chuckled. "Me too baby boy. I never forgot what it felt like, being like this with you. Not even when I was running around down in Purgatory."
"Really"
Dean smiled and looked into those deep hazel eyes that he so adored. "Wanna know what kept me going Sam? The thought of one day coming back to you, holding you to me again. Thought about your arms around me at night. Just that gave me hope Sam."
Sam smiled and kissed him again,their tongues moving against each other. His head swam as Sam moved to kiss and bite down his jaw, teeth just grazing over his skin. Dean tilted his head back to give him as much access as possible. Sam worked his way all the way down, each nip sending little jolts of electricity through his body. When Sam made his way back to his ear, he whispered seductively "I think you're wearing way too many clothes." Dean immediately leaned back and pulled his t-shirt over his head, Sam's hands moving down to unbuckle his belt and take his jeans off. Dean was suddenly aware of the fact that he hadn't showered in awhile, and he smelled ripe. He reached down and held Sam's wrists.
"Sammy do you mind if I uh... take like two minutes to wash up?" Dean looked more than a little embarrassed as he said it.
Sam smiled and said. "If it'll make you feel better, sure. But personally" He moved down and bit at one of Dean's nipples, causing his older brother's back to arch deliciously "I don't mind."
Dean thought about what might happen if Sam got an inclination to travel south on him and thought about it. "Sammy I really want to be clean for this. For you." Dean's voice was full of sincerity.
"In that case, you go get cleaned up. I guess two more minutes won't kill me." He planted another needy kiss on Dean's mouth. "But the anticipation might." Dean moved fast, tugging off his pants and underwear on the way to the bathroom. Sam caught the barest glimpse of Dean's now unclothed ass as he shut the door.
He stood up, shifting the erection that was so obviously tenting the front of his towel. He went to his room to get a couple of condoms and some lube. He grabbed two condoms, one for him and one for Dean, just depending on how things went. He went to his bedside drawer and extracted some lube, finding the fullest bottle he could. Deciding that he had everything he needed, he went back to Dean's room. The door to the bathroom was closed, but he could still here Dean belting out "Smoke on The Water." Dean would never admit to it, but he had a good singing voice. He stood with his head against the door, listening, thoughts of the lullaby that he had sang to him last night drifting through his mind. After another minute or two he heard the water shut off, Dean still singing. It was a sound that Sam had listened to all his life, but it was even better to hear it again. He heard the door handle start to turn, and he stepped back it. Dean came out, a towel identical to the one Sam had on around his waist. He saw Sam standing there, a half smile curling his lips. Dean canted his head and said "What is it?"
Sam laughed, and then looked Dean up and down. "For the first time in well, awhile, I can stare at you coming out of the shower. Something else I missed Dean." He stepped closer to Dean. "And you don't know how long I've been wanting to do that." Sam took Dean's hands in his, appreciating the roughness of them. To him, they felt like heaven. He raised Dean's right hand to his mouth and put the index finger in his mouth and sucked on it. Dean's breath caught in his throat as the sensation of his brother's tongue swirling around the digit sent a trail of fire burning all the way down to his crotch. Sam watched his face, absorbing the images of his brother experiencing pleasure at his hands. It was one of the most erotic things Sam had ever seen. He saw Dean's eyes cast down to his crotch and go wide with want.
Sam removed Dean's finger for just a moment and said "You can take it off Dean. It doesn't bite, in case you forgot" Dean moved a trembling right to where the towel was straining under Sam's navel, and tugged. Dean felt his knees buckle as he saw Sam's cock. It was big, really big. Shiny, helmet shaped purple head, circumcision scar shining bright red with arousal, and God knows how many veins pulsing with energy. The head was glistening with precum, catching the light in the room. Dean hadn't forgotten what it was like, not at all, but seeing it again was like the first time, so long ago.
A lifetime ago.
"It's alright Dean, you can touch it." He leaned in and said into Dean's ear. "You can touch it all you want." He pulled him in for a kiss, feeling Dean's tongue go into his mouth right as a strong hand wrapped around his cock and stroke upwards. Feeling Dean's callused hand pass over the head made Sam bite down on Dean's lower lip, sending a shock of pleasure and pain through out Dean's body. Dean moved his other hand to curl into Sam's hair, holding him steady as he attacked his mouth. Sam was making these wonderful little groans and moans as Dean pleasured him, every stroke of his hand making Sam that much weaker in the knees.
Dean felt Sam's hands on his hips. Sam pulled his face back for a moment and said "Your turn big boy." Dean's fervent kiss was the only answer he needed. Sam pushed the towel off of Dean's waist, and looked down. His jaw nearly hit the floor as Dean was revealed, and a small "Fuck" passed over his lips. Dean's cock was identical his in every way, save for the fact that it was slightly shorter. Sam couldn't believe that he had thought he'd never get to see it again.
"I guess I had kind of forgotten how... gifted you were Dean." Sam reached down and grabbed Dean, stroking him from base to tip.
Dean gave a start as he felt Sam's strong hand on him. He looked into Sam's eyes and said "No one's touched me since that night before we killed the Leviathans Sammy. Only ever wanted you to touch me, no one else. Wouldn't trade you for anyone or anything." Dean began to bite on Sam's ear, and Sam started to make those delightful little noises again. "Never gonna stop Dean. Never wanted to give you up in the first place." That thought drove Dean wild, and he kissed Sam once more, wet, needy, hungry, trying to convey just how badly he wanted him. He began to walk Sam back towards the bed, not an easy task considering that Sam was quite a bit taller than him. Sam felt the backs of his legs connect with the soft mattress, and gladly sank down onto it. He turned so that they were both longways on the bed, and he spread his legs to give Dean more room.
He felt Dean's dripping cock brush against the inside of his leg, and his own dick twitched. Dean moved from Sam's mouth, trailing his tongue down his jaw and neck. He stopped to kiss the tattoo on the left side of Sam's chest, and then bit down on one of his nipples. Sam let out a curse, louder than he would have liked. Dean's tongue and teeth worried the bud, teasing it to become even harder and redder. Sam was gasping and writhing underneath Dean's efforts to please him.
"Fuck Dean... so good. Deeeeeeeeean" Sam's whole body was on fire. He had never experienced this kind of ecstasy before in his life. Coming back to Dean like this was heavenly. It was like Dean had a road map of his body in his head, hitting every little spot that made Sam reel with pleasure. Of course, he and Dean had been lovers for so long that Dean knew exactly how to please him. He felt Dean move away from his nipple, and he whimpered at the loss of stimulation. Dean's teeth grazed their way down the rest of his body, his tongue trailing the contours of his abs, leaving little trails of bliss in its path. Dean looked up at Sam as he moved ever closer to his cock, wanting Sam to see what he was doing.
"Look at me Sammy." Sam did as he was told, and he saw Dean's eyes flash as his mouth smiled at him from behind his dick. Dean stuck his tongue out, pressing it flat against the underside of his younger brother's turgid member. Sam nearly came from that brief contact, and he gasped.
"Dean please... please." Sam wasn't sure how he had gotten to the point of begging, but right now he didn't care. Dean planted a kiss on the back of Sam's cock head, and moved down.
"Dean what... what's happening?"
Dean's voice was gravelly with lust. "Sammy I've wanted to taste you again for a long time now. Wanted to remember." He raised Sam's hips up slightly off the bed. "Wanted you to beg for me. Wanted you to feel me." Sam felt Dean lick the space between his balls and hole, causing Sam to fist the sheets in his hands.
"Wanted you so bad Sammy." He felt Dean's hands spread his cheeks apart gently, and Dean's hot breath blow across his puckered entrance. He looked down at Dean, and when he did, Dean stuck out his tongue and licked slowly. Sam choked back a loud groan as he felt the wonderful contact of Dean's tongue, a flood of memories coming back to him. No, there was no way he could ever forget how this felt.
"Dean stop fucking teasing and eat me out. Fucking eat me out right the fuck now." Sam was past the point of caring about being quiet.
Having Sam order him around like that made Dean's dick even harder. "Fuck Sammy looks like you've picked up a dirty mouth. I'll have to teach you a lesson." Sam gasped as Dean plunged into his hole. Sam shut his eyes, convinced that this was a dream because it felt so damn good. He tried to fuck himself on Dean's tongue, but Dean's strong hands kept him firmly in place as he licked and sucked at his hole. Sam was suddenly very glad he had cleaned himself well as Dean opened him up even wider, tongue lapping at the sensitive spots around that most intimate of places.
Dean reached up a hand and started to stroke Sam's now even more swollen cock. A single tear of pleasure rolled down Sam's face as he did so. Sam had jacked off countless times over the last year to this sort of scenario, but his mind never could compare to the real thing. His cock was slick with precome now, and Dean kept pumping more and more out of it out of him. He knew it wouldn't be long before he came, and he really wanted this to last as long as possible.
"Dean please... please... I... need..."
Dean moved his head up to where he could rest his head on Sam's thigh. "Need to what Sammy?"
"I want to..." Sam tilted his head back, trying to calm his twitching cock. "I want to suck you Dean." He wanted to at least try and return some of the pleasure he had been feeling to him.
"You got it baby boy." Sam smiled at the pet name, taking a lot more pleasure in it than he would have admitted. Dean kissed his way back up Sam's body, finally pressing his lips to Sam's.
He whispered against Sam's mouth "Taste yourself Sammy. It's really good." Sam snaked his tongue into Dean's mouth. The mixture of himself and Dean made his arousal soar even higher. Dean pulled back for just a moment and said "I want to taste it forever Sammy. Want you on my tongue." Sam pushed him backwards, pinning his body down. Dean loved having Sam on top of him, basking in the way he had suddenly taken control of the situation. "Never stopped wanting you like this Sammy."
"So hot Dean. So, so wonderful." He imitated what Dean had done earlier, kissing and nipping his way down his body. He came to Dean's cock, swollen and weeping precome, and he licked the underside and stroked up as he did so. Dean's hips bucked upward, responding to Sam's touch.
"Suck me Sammy. Put that hot mouth on me, make me beg for it." Sam, grinning evilly, hovered just over the head of Dean's dick, blowing warm air across it.
"Please Sammy..." These were the words Sam had been waiting to hear, and he went down on his older brother. This was what Dean had wanted to feel again for so long – that wet, warm, wonderful mouth was on him. Sam opened his mouth even wider and took in as much of Dean as he could, his tongue teasing every bit of Dean that was in his mouth, coaxing gasps and noises out Dean that he never thought he would hear him make again, much less at his own hands.
"Fuck Sammy... so good... so hot... ahhhhhh" Sam's tongue plunged into the slit at the end of his cock, trying to catch as much of Dean's essence as possible. It mingled pleasantly with the taste of himself that Dean had so intimately shared with him earlier. Sam reached down himself and took some precum from his own leaking cock and coated his finger with it. He reached up and parted Dean's legs slightly.
He felt Sam stop stroking him and asked "What's going on down there Sammy?"
Sam's mouth came off of Dean's cock slowly. "Just trust me Dean. You'll like it. You always have. I promise." Sam winked at him and resumed sucking. He took his precome coated fingers and pressed them to Dean's hole, wetting it. His mouth moved to the top of Dean's cock and in one swift motion, took Dean all the way down to the base and pushed two fingers inside him.
"fuckshithohmygod Sam that's fucking... Saaam" was Dean's only response as Sam began to slowly fuck him with his fingers, his cock deep in Sam's throat. Dean had never been deep throated by anyone but Sam, and it felt better than he remembered. He wanted to reach out and place a hand on the back of Sam's head, but thought better of it, lest Sam should choke on him, and he really didn't want that to happen. There would be plenty of time to be rough later. Right now he just needed reconnection.
Sam closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of Dean's cock inside his mouth. How many years had he been doing this? He couldn't even remember. A long time, ever since Dean had come and gotten him from Stanford. It just seemed like such long time ago. He crooked a finger inside Dean's ass, and it brushed over his swollen prostate. This made Dean's hips start to buck, but Sam held him down.
Dean was cross eyed with pleasure. Sam was hitting all of the right spots, and Dean's body was crackling with pleasure. He could feel an orgasm looming just over the horizon, and he didn't want to be done yet. Not while Sam was making him feel so good.
"Sammy... please... Sa... stop... gonna... gonna come soon" Sam slowly pulled his fingers out of Dean's ass, and his mouth came up off of his cock. He moved to put his forehead against Dean's, and brought the two fingers that had been in his ass to Dean's mouth and put them in. It didn't disgust Dean at all. In fact, he found it incredibly intimate, Sam sharing this with him. Then again, he had never found doing this with Sam to be weird or disgusting. Sam continued to strok Dean's cock as he sucked on his Sam's fingers, making Sam's own dick jump at the sensation of Dean licking them clean.
Sam replaced his fingers with his mouth, and kissed him brief and hard. He said into Dean's ear "I'm ready." He looked back into Dean's eyes, trying to convey what he wanted.
Dean got what Sam was hinting at, just the mere thought of it thrilling him. "You sure Sammy? I don't want to hurt you." It had been awhile since they'd done this, and he didn't know if Sam's body would be as willing as Sam was. Sam shook his head and said to him "You could never hurt me Dean. Ever. You never have, not like this."
Dean kissed him, and then reached for the condom on the night stand. Sam grabbed the lube and laid on his back, spreading his legs so that he could slick himself up. He poured some in his hand and applied it to Dean as soon as he had the condom on. He then put his hands on Dean's hips, pulling him forward. Dean pressed his cock against Sam's entrance, looking into his eyes.
Sam let himself relax, letting out a breath that he didn't realize he'd been holding. He trusted Dean completely to not hurt him, and nodded his head. Dean pushed into him with agonizing slowness, and as he slid in Sam gritted his teeth. Aside from his fingers, Sam had never had anything inside him like this. After what seemed like hours but in reality was only seconds, Dean was buried hilt-deep inside his brother.
Dean immediately decided that this was not worth giving up in the least, not with the way that he fit into Sam so perfectly. Just like he always had. Sam was warm and incredibly tight, just like he remembered. He opened his eyes, and saw Sam lying on his back, legs spread open and hips pointed upward with Dean inside him. His chest was heaving, and sweat ran down his face. His face was contorted, half in pain, half in pleasure.
"Sammy we can stop if-"
In a strained voice Sam uttered "Don't you fucking dare. Fuck me Dean, please." Sam opened his eyes, blown wide with a mixture of lust and an overwhelming amount of love. He then said in a smaller voice "Make love to me. Wanted this so bad Dean, wanted you to to fuck me again."
Dean nodded. "Alright Sammy. Alright." He slowly began to rock his hips, letting Sam get used to the feel of his cock inside him. He held on tight to Sam's hips, steadying himself. He slowly began to thrust, pumping his hips really slow.
"Oh Dean... that's... that's wonderful." Sam closed his eyes and put his hands on Dean's hips. Dean couldn't help but stare at Sam as he slowly fucked him. His mouth hanging open, the increasingly loud noises of pleasure that he was making as Dean hit his sweet spot time and again, the way the veins in his arms stood out as he held onto Dean – it made him even harder inside Sam. He reached down and gripped Sam's cock and slowly began to pump it in time with his thrusts. Sam's back arched at the new stimulation, and he opened his eyes to look at Dean.
"Dean... you... so fucking good" Sam wrapped his legs around Dean, pulling him in even closer, urging him to thrust faster. Dean complied, and rolled his hips as he thrust. He leaned his body down, and Sam rose up to put his lips to Dean's. Between Sam's ass clenching around his cock and his tongue wrestling with his, it was all Dean could to to keep control of his orgasm, which was getting closer and closer.
"Faster Dean, please." Dean's hips moved accordingly, and Sam put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down to lay his body flat against his. He moved between kissing Dean and crying out in pleasure. Sam was crying again, but these were tears of pleasure mixed with tears of his body straining against having something so large in his still somewhat painfully stretched ass. Sam hadn't forgotten this part either, but it had always been worth it to him, because Dean made him feel incredible. Dean stopped for the briefest of moments to apply some more lube and started thrusting again, faster than before. He was still stroking Sam in time, his fist nearly a blur on Sam's cock. He arched himself so that there was room between him and Sam's bodies for when Sam came.
Dean didn't have to wait long at all. "Dean...soon... gonna...ahh... come...with..." Sam's orgasm hit like a freight train, and he bit down into Dean's shoulder, drawing blood, his fingernails digging grooves into Dean's back. Dean felt cum splash up between them, hitting the bottom of his chin and coating Sam's body. Sam's contracting ass pushed Dean over the edge, hard. He threw his head back and cried out "SAMMY.", his whole body going tight as his orgasm nearly blinded him, his eyes screwing shut, stars flashing behind his eyelids. It seemed like his climax lasted for hours, and he finally collapsed into Sam, groaning with pleasure. Both were shaking from the massive amounts of adrenaline and endorphins flowing through them. Soon, Sam started to shake even harder, and Dean lifted his head from his shoulder to see what was going on.
Sam was laughing.
His laughter was infectious, and soon Dean was laughing too, his cock still buried in Sam's ass. It grew to be nearly uproarious, both of them delirious with pleasure and the fact that they were alive, alive and in each others arms. Sam was still laughing as Dean kissed him, tender and loving.
After a minute or two, Sam touched his forehead to Dean's and said "You know Dean, that vision of heaven you saw? I think it was wrong. This is what I wanted it to be. You and me. Just like it always has been."
Dean's eyes narrowed as he smiled at Sam again. "Same here Sammy. I don't think there's anything I've ever wanted as bad as you. And you want to know what the best part is? I have you again."
Sam hugged him and rubbed his back. He put his mouth close to Dean's ear and said "You can take your cock out of me now Dean. Gotta pee." Dean reached down and grabbed the base of his now soft cock, holding the condom so it didn't come off. He moved to sit back on his haunches as Sam, body still dripping with drying cum, made his way to the bathroom. He couldn't help but take pride in the fact that his Sam was walking real funny as he made his way to the bathroom, and he laughed. Sam turned and flipped him off.
"Oh is that something you'd like Sammy?"
"You just wait Dean. You just wait." Dean stood up, feeling a lot better about well, everything. Yeah there were some awful things going on outside the walls of the bunker, but right now, Dean was happy, happier than he had been in a really long time. Sam emerged from the bathroom, cum gone from his torso but still very much naked. His soft cock lay in between his legs like some sort of snake from a tree. Sam had always been a shower. He crossed over to where Dean stood and hugged him.
He said into Dean's shoulder "Does this mean I can start sleeping with you again every night?"
Dean pondered that for a moment. "So long as you don't steal all the blankets, but yeah Sammy, I would really like that."
Sam blushed as he asked his next question. "This means we can still cuddle before falling asleep, right?" Dean found Sam's shyness to be incredibly sweet.
"Only if you're the big spoon. I kinda missed having your big gorilla arms around me." Dean actually loved the thought of that.
Sam rubbed his nose against Dean's and said "Of course it doesn't have to be every night. I know that you still like to have your space."
Dean kissed him, just a chaste bump of lips. "But you make my space so much better Sam. You always have." He kissed Sam one more time, not being able to get enough of him. "But you're gonna have to get used to this again." He moved up and bit down on Sam's earlobe. "And this." He squeezed Sam's ass, cupping his cheeks. "And this." Sam suddenly found Dean's tongue in his mouth again and he moaned.
Sam pushed him back gently. "Yeah, I can definitely get used to all of those things again." Sam leaned in to nip Dean's neck. "So long as I get to do the same to you. You just don't know how badly I missed this Dean."
Dean felt like his insides were going to melt with giddiness. "Just one rule – none of that on the job, alright? That still applies. We still have to be on the top of our game, alright? But Sammy, the minute we're done, yeah I'm going to be all over you. I've got a lot of time to make up for. I know that there's a lot of crap, confusing, messed up, God-awful crap going on outside right now, but knowing that we're... together again, Sammy... that makes it all a little less awful."
"So you want me back Dean?" Sam wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, pulling their bodies closer together.
"Never stopped in the first place baby boy. You and me, Sam. Just like always."
"And forever." Sam kissed Dean tenderly, his mouth sliding open for Dean's tongue once more.
Dean pulled Sam back down on the bed, suddenly feeling like a second round of what they had just shared was definitely in order.
. . .
Later that night as Dean lay in bed falling asleep, sated and satisfied, Sam curled around him like a giant protective puppy, he smiled to himself. In spite of the fact that the world was crashing down around them outside, right now he had everything. He had Sam back now, in the best possible way. And that feeling was something he never wanted to let go of.
AN #2: Thanks for reading this guys. I promise I'll get back to work on writing fun and sexy stories soon. I've gone back to work for the summer, but I'll try to write as often as possible. Please review and check out my other work – it makes this writer really happy. :)