A little something I came up with when I was bored.
Bad Timing
Ron and Harry are best friends. Everyone knows that. Through thick and thin these two friends have been backing each other and fighting battles.
But what everyone does not know, is that Harry had bad timing.
Really bad timing.
Situation 1
"Mione...' Ron moaned as Hermione nibbled his ear. He picked her up as she hooked her legs around his waist. He carried her to the bed and ravished her neck.
"Ron..." Ron was growing more excited as this was as far as they have went. They were engaged and Hermione decided to do the whole wait until wedding night thing.
Ron was not pleased.
"Ron, I want you know," she said. Ron froze.
"This isn't a joke right? I mean, this isn't some test?"
"Nope," she said. "No test."
Ron out his hands under her shirt. She watched him. And as he crept his way up her back the worst thing possible.
A Patronus.
"Ron, someones in trouble!" Hermione shouted pushing him off. Ron stumbled backwards and fell of the bed.
"What the bloody - "
"No time to swear!" Hermione yelled. "Get your robes on and move!"
"What did it say?" Ron asked worried. What could have happened? The Patronus was a stag, so it was Harry.
"I couldn't heard with you swearing!"
"You stay here Mione!" Ron commanded. "I'll take care of it." He apparated to Godric's Hallow.
_+_
"Harry are you okay" Ron yelled as it burst into the house. "Reducto!" a red flash of light escaped his wand.
"RON STOP!" Ginny yelped as she ducked. The light hit the coffee table. There was a huge whole afterwards.
"I got the Patronus! What happened?" Ron babbled. "Death Eaters?"
"No," Harry said amused. "Great news!" He lead Ron the the couch and offered him some tea. Ron accepted it. He took a sip.
"Did George finally marry Angelina?" Ron asked. "They've been going at it for years and - "
"No, but I think he's going to propose soon,' Harry interrupted. "It's more important." He sat next to Ron. Ginny sat on Ron's other side.
"What?"
"Ginny has...." Harry started. He looked nervous.
"What Mate, you can tell me," Ron assured him.
"She has...."
Ron waited.
And waited.
"What did Ginny do?"
"I learned to cook!" she squealed. "Mum's been teaching me and I finally learned to cook. She says I;m as good as her!"
Ron didn't move.
"Isn't that wonderful?" Harry asked with a wide grin on his face. "Ron?"
Ron still didn't move.
"Ron?" Ginny asked concerned.
Okay you're telling me," Ron said as his voice got higher, "That you interrupted me and Hermione almost shagging because you wanted to tell me that Ginny learned how to cook?"
"Wait you two were going to shag?" Harry asked. "I thought she wanted to wait."
"She did. Now she doesn't."
"Well what are you waiting for Mate? Go!"
Ron apparated.
_+_
"Mione?" Ron called.
"I'm here Ron!" she called from the living room. he hustled there to find her curled up in an armchair reading.
Typical.
Ron crept up to her. "Hey," he said softly.
"Hey."
Kissing her cheek he pulled her into a hug. He sighed.
"What was the emergency?"
"Ginny learned to cook,' Ron grumbled.
"That's wonderful!" Hermione squealed. "Oh Harry must be so proud!"
"he was very proud," Ron mumbled into her skin. He fell back in to the armchair with her. Using his arms to trap her, he kissed her throat. 'Let's finish what we started okay Mione?"
"Ron," she sighed. "It was a lapse of judgment. Heat of the moment. I still want to wait."
Damn Potter.
Situation 2
"Mione, just push!" Ron said calmly as he held her hand.
"RON WEASLEY! DON'T YOU THERE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" she screeched. "AH!"
Ah childbirth.
They say it's beautiful.
They lied.
I mean it was great in the beginning with Hermione's hormones out of control. He spent the nights extremely happy.
Then the craving came. And mood swings.
He was just happy that it would all be over.
"Push!" the healer said. Hermione screamed.
"Ron stay okay," Hermione asked weakly.
"I will love," he said. They didn't have any time to tell the rest of the family. Hermione's contractions were to powerful. He had to drive to St. Mungo's and carry her the rest of the way there.
It was hell.
Then the Patronus came.
"Ron! Come quick! No excuses!" Harry's voice rang.
"Ron he must be in trouble! Go!" Hermione said.
"But your in labor!"
"GO!" Ron once again apparated.
_+_
"WHAT?" Ron yelled as he enter the Ministry. Harry was there grinning.
"Did something happen?" Ron asked as he tried to steady his breathing.
"Yes."
"What?" Ron asked impatiently. He imagined Hermione gasping and trying to breathe. Oh Merlin......
"You know that case we were working on?" Harry asked. "The Jugson one?"
"Yes." Hermione passing out. Crap.....
"He's going to Azkaban! It's that great!"
"YES IT IS HARRY!" Ron yelled. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER! HERMIONE IS IN LABOR AND I'M NOT THERE!"
"Why not?" harry asked confused.
"BECAUSE YOU CALLED ME HERE!"
"Ron, you could have just sent a Patronus back . I would have understood," harry said shrugging.
Ron was about to explode.
'Anyway, let's go," harry said. They Apparated.
_+_
"Let me in you demented woman!" Ron yelled.
"I can't only the father is allowed to go in," the Healer said calmly.
"But I am the father!"
"Sure you are," the healer said stubbornly. She turned to Harry. "Are you the father?"
"N - "
"Good. Come on in," she dragged Harry into the room.
"WAIT THAT'S MY WIFE! NOT HIS!"
"Like hell she is!" the healer called from behind the door.
Damn Potter.
Situation 3
"Ron you have to be back by 3 o' clock,' Hermione said.
"Why?"
"Because I have a surprise for you,' she whispered in his ear. "Don't you want it?"
"Yes, Mione,' he said obediently. "See you later."
"Bye."
Ron made his way to the Ministry. He racked his brains to see what the surprise would be. What Hermione was implying didn't fit. She didn't do planned... you know. She liked spontaneous.
She was more like a Weasley then he thought.
Well whatever it is, he had a feeling he was going to like it.
Then the Patronus came.
RON! Why aren't you at work yet?" Harry's voice yelled. Ron cringed. He had grown to hate that stag. When ever it as involved, his life got worst.
Maybe this time it will be better.
Boy he was wrong.
_+_
"Ron! I put you on double shift today!" Harry exclaimed. "Isn't it great to be the boss."
Bloody Head of Department.
"Harry, Hermione said I have to be home by three," Ron said. "I can't work the shift."
"Come on Ron, we need you!" Harry begged.
"But she said - "
"Ron, we protect people, Hermione will understand," Harry said. "Please."
"But she was extrem - "
"Ron, do you want me to triple the shift?"
"Harry! You wouldn't do that to your best mate!"
"Yeah I will! Look I'll tell Hermione that you had to work a extra shift okay?"
Fine," Ron groaned.
_+_
So tired.
Why the double shift? Why me?
Finnegan could have done it.
Thomas could have done it.
Harry himself could have done it.
Ron's anger was boiling.
At least I'll get some rest when I get home.
Or he thought.
She set foot in the house and turned on the light.
"SURPRISE RON!"
"What the bloody - "
"Ron, we gave you a surprise party for your birthday,' Hermione squealed as she hugged him.
"Thanks."
"We had Harry give you the double shift so we can get ready for the party," Ginny explained.
"So you didn't want me home at three?" Ron asked.
"NOPE!" the group yelled. Ron winced.
"Wait, guys my birthday is next month,' Ron said confused. "Why are you giving me a party now?"
"Wait next month?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah."
"But Harry said it was this month. So did my calender and everyone else's."
"Hermione, I think I would know when my own birthday is,' Ron said stubbornly.
"Then?" Everyone turned to Harry.
"Oops?" he asked sheepishly.
Group groan.
"I'm going home," George grumbled.
"me to," Percy said pompously.
"Yeah,' Bill said.
"Man I travel from Romania!" Charlie exclaimed. "Thanks Ron."
"What did I do?"
"Forget to remind everyone your birthday is next month!"
"I thought you knew!" Ron exclaimed. "I shouldn't have to remind you!"
"Well sorry your forgettable!" Angelina said irritated.
"What?"
"Yeah Ron!"
"Merlin! I never knew my brother was that stupid!" Fred yelled.
"Fred what?" Ron asked bewildered. "Aren't you dead?"
"Since when?" he demanded.
"Since the Second War!"
"You're delusional."
Ron was confused. Forgetting birthdays, Fred's alive. What is going on.
Did Ginny turn into a Nargle?
He was drowning. Where did the water come from?
"I'm - " the water cut him off. He saw everyone laughing.
Harry was laughing the most. "Sucker!"
And everything went black.
In Bed
"Ron wake up!" Hermione yelled.
"I'm not a sucker!" Ron yelped as he woke up. "What happened?"
"You were having a nightmare,' Hermione said soothingly. "Come here."
"Hermione it was horrible. Harry was ruining my life. He interrupted us having.. you know. Then you went into labor but Harry sent us a Patronus and I had to come. But it was only the Jugson case getting solved and Harry ended up seeing you give birth instead of me. Then he made me work a double shift and then I came home to find a surprise birthday party. But it wasn't my birthday and every blamed me for not reminding them. Then I was drowning and Fred was alive - "
"Ron, Ron," she said rocking us back and forth, "It's okay. We're seventeen aznd the War is over. Of course you'll have nightmares."
"But this one sucked,' he grumbled. "Everyone blamed me for everything."
"It's okay. It wasn't real," she said.
"It seemed real."
"But this is real,' he said before giving me the best kiss of my life. I moaned and fell back into the bed. Our tongues were dominating each other. I slipped my hand under her shirt when....
A Patronus
"Ron I need you!"
"AHHH!"
The End